the pain is never ending, it never goes away

Mine was a severe loneliness I can't explain.. like there is this hole in my heart that needs filling.. I tried to find it in friends, in boyfriends, in my family.. work perhaps, a hobby??? But it's still there.. Have I ever thought of taking my life? Yes, several times.. one failed attempt.. But I could never really go through with it.. I cannot accept that my life has no worth.. and I'll just be ending it all... that's it.. there's got to be some answers somewhere.. I was searching and searching.. until I found God.. Suddenly I felt I belong to something so great, it's exciting.. there's acceptance of who I was and who I can become.. It seemed surreal, I know.. but it's true.. The answer was just arround me and inside me.. Hope you find your peace of mind.. that is my prayer to you.

I've heard that before, they called depressed people weak, lazy etc. Depressed people don't get depressed over nothing, something or someone is hurting them and whatever that is, are not recognized or hide behind a mask. By not helping a depressed person, we are contributing to increasing number of depression victims.

I was dealing with the same problem hun.... There was that, lack of energy, constant hunger, and soo much more. It hurt, all the time, day in and day out, and i couldn't take it anymore... I quit taking the pills from the doctors, thought it would get better or stay the same. thankfully the pain subsided a lot, but it was deteriorating my body. I decided to look at herbal remedies for it. I recomend taking st johns word as recomended on the bottle and ginkgo biloba. Together, they have stopped all the problems i had. Some people, like me don't really have a reason for their depression other than a chemical imbalance of seritonan. i think i spelled it wrong, but you know what i mean i'm sure. these herbs are wonderful, up to a max of about 17 dollars a bottle and they have made me feel wonderful. I still take them. I can go to bed at night and sleep all night. I can wake refreshed for the first time in my life, happy, with a smile, i don't feel the need to lash out, scream, destroy eveyrthing and then fall into a corner in a flood of tears. It's helped me more than i can ever explain... Maybe you should look into taking some herbal supplements instead of the meds. God knows, most of the time those pills don't work anyways, and all they do is cause physical problems. I hope that it gets better for you, and i know how trying it can be, painful, scary, and i know you can do this. your a sweetheart, and there's always someone here for you if you need it. if no one else you have your mylot friends and companions. Peace and Love Ash

there are a lot of we couldnot conquer it.and we always cannt be understood by someone else.i think the best to me is to find a people to tell him this,he neednt say something ,i only want to speak out.

I understand 100% what you are going through. There are good days and there are bad days and today is a very bad day. I'm tired of the pain and all I feel like doing is crying today. I can't get motivated into doing anything. I try to go on to Associated Content and write a couple pf articles and I can't even do that. I'm sure most people on Mylot can tell when I'm having a good day because I post like crazy but the last couple of days I just haven't felt like doing anything. I did write an article at Associated Content about the ups and downs of depression and that is definitely what I have been going through. I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster and it's never going to end. I just hope I feel better tomorrow. It's pretty bad when you're too depressed to do the things you enjoy doing. :(

I totally understand you Ally, I have suffered from depression after being hospitalized and try about 7 different types of medications which just made matter worse. One day I decided that it was enough. No more pills! I starting doing Yoga, going to the gym, walks in the park, the library. And I decided to go back to school and studied Psychology got my bachelor and now I'm workind toward my master. The only thing I noticed that helps my depression is to keep busy. Even though I understand that when you depressed you just want to be in bed and cry and don't feel like doing anything. Sometimes I still feel a bit down but I believe I overcame the worse hurdle. You are right people who have not suffred from depression do not understand they ask you to snap out of it, which you can't. Please find a good therapist, I had to go through 3 or 4 before I found one that worked for me. In the majority of the cases medication doesn't solve the problem. However I don't know your situation and some people might have an imbalance and need the medication. I'm convinced that cognitive theraphy is the best treatment to treat depression. But the patient has to have the desire to get better and follow all the instructions of the therapist in order for the treatment to work. I also believe that family therapy is crucial in order for them to really understand how this illness work. Bambo318

Hello my friend,I know you are going through a hard time.Just remember there are people who care for you deeply.Me being one of them.I will help you get through this any way I can.All you need to do is text me my friend and we can chat online.You are NOT stupid,nor are you talking rubbish,you just need people to try to understand.I know the battle you have before you but I also know you can win! You have come a long way Ally,remember that and be proud!! Mega hugs,love and light.

When I try to describe depression to anyone around me, I refer to it as "constant, never-ending misery, as constant as the day is long." I don't know if that ever helps someone understand how it feels to be depressed, but it is the only way I know to begin to describe it to someone who has never felt this way themselves. Anyone who has never experienced depression for him- or herself, personally, can never have any real hope of understanding how it feels. That is why "they" say just think about something else, like it will all just magically go away or something. I wish it would just go away and stay gone from everyone who has ever suffered depression, but unfortunately it won't. But I would never in a million years wish this on anyone else no matter what, especially someone who has never had to try to keep existing through it anyway. And that is what we tend to do, exist rather than live. I don't think I have ever really lived, and I am 36 years old. I have just been existing for 36 years, and still keep trying to exist for some unknown reason. All I can say is, please don't give up. You are not being stupid, and anyone who thinks you are is the stupid one. Meds don't always work the same way for everyone, they don't work for me and I tried almost everything on the market in America. Some people might think, there must be a reason for a person to be so depressed so much. Sometimes there is a reason, sometimes it is physical, sometimes it is emotional, and sometimes it is psycological. When I say psycological, I don't mean crazy. I mean chemical, like thyroid problems that can cause depression. For me, it is hereditary, as well as environmental, from my childhood days. I won't go into that here though. Just know there are so many different reasons and causes for depression. My prayers are with you and your loved ones as you go through this time in your life. Please don't give up hoping for better and easier days to come.

Everyone deals with this sort of thing differently I really believe hun. Most important thing is that you keep trying to find your own way. One that works for you like no other. I'd like to share mine with you, however I must warn you that mine is probably the least of the more "approved" or "accepted" methods out there. One of the most important things to us as hurting individuals is the loneliness and desperate need to identify an explain and be understood in what we are going through. You stated that yourself. This place seems to be a great start as I look over the very heartfelt responses you are getting, we do understand. YOU ARE FAR FROM ALONE. Keep reaching out, share with us compare with us and I'll tell ya without the lyrics and music of the very band that has allowed me the freedom to live and be ok....I wouldn't be here today. That band is KORN. They are really heavy rock with a lot of screaming and cussing, but I'll tell you I feel so comforted reading the words to all of it. I identify completely with the passion that they play with...It helps me to know I am not alone. Just my lil .02 Please stick around and be here for the miracle...it will happen. Just don't give up.

I JUST NOTICED THAT YOU ARE A KORN FAN! OH ALLY WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU????? You have the cure already! Now I am going to give you very specific instructions on what to do when those demons try and come in ok? First recognize the fact that you know what it is that is bugging you. after that things are much easier. OK it isn't the dumb teacher who is grilling you on something that while he was teaching, you were trying to shake the dark grey cloud of doom that was trying to suck you in at that moment, so you totally missed what he was trying teach....screw him...he wouldn't understand anyways. It's not your mom who seemingly thinks that all this stuff you tell her is all just a bunch of excuses to screw around. "Now Ally...Stop screwin around! You screw around too much!" (ok 10 points if ya can guess who that impression was of?;) What it IS is a chemical imbalance (SP?) that you are suffering from. No way no how is it your fault, nor is it something simple to diagnose or fix. However...once you realize those very things, learn to recognize the onset of symptoms and do what ever you can to get prepared to ride the storm till it passes...then doll...you have beat the disease. Sometimes it sneaks up too fast but it is never really to late to use your tools to knock it out. READ the lyrics, play the songs LOUD as possible. If you have to put on ear phones to do so then so be it. SCREAM with Jon as he helps you to feel his pain too. SHARE with him every bit of what it is that hurts...scream and sing till you collapse in a heap of waste but couldn't feel more free. KORN=LIFE for those of us who let them in, and share our crap. that's the most important part. you have to let it all go. Share it all don't keep not one ounce to yourself. "we are only as sick as our secrets" That is one of the most powerful things I've learned Ally. Think about it. I'm here if ya wanna talk. "who gives a f^&* if my life sucks...I just know one thing...I won't give up!"

Aww Ally, I totally understand what you are going through. Depression sure hurts, poor you! I've been through these lows several times in life and it is terrible. It's hard to get out of unless you distract yourself from your demeaning thoughts and feelings. Change the place, do different things, keep yourself occupied. Don't let yourself stop even for a moment to think, that makes things worse. There's a lot in this world to live for so stop worrying and live life!

Once upon a time in my live i was also had situation like yours. Everything could make me pain. I've tried anything to stop it, i've read book of psycology and motivation but all that things didn't work. but then you know... there is one book help me to stopped all that thing.... maybe you couldn't believe me if i tell you... the book is ... 'COMIC'

Its really hard to overcome pain!But you need to try yourself to keep moving on!Find a person that can understand you!Share your problems,let it out,cry it out!Have faith and believe in yourself!Above all, dont let yourself eaten by the depression you feel!I know, someone cause you that!Then forgive that someone and re attach yourself to those people or things that made you depress and give you pain because thoughts is the one who hurt you the way you feel right now!Chin up!

unless you live or have lived with depression, truely how could a person understand it. i could never understand it until it happened to me. i think because others cant see it or feel it thats why they dont understand. depression is invisible if you had a broken leg that is visable and people would say "ohh that must hurt". i had to try a few different types of meds before i found one that works for me also for me, to be able to work through it i also had to work out what and where my depression started from. there are plenty of people on here that have and do understand depression if you want either post a question or email one or some of us i am sure you will find many friends here to help support you through this. big hugs to you and email me whenever you want if i can help i will.

I am sorry for what you are going through, i know how it feels i have seen my mother suffering, but it might sound difficult to you, but i think you can fight it, First of all pray to god keep praying whenever these bouts come to you, be occupied all the time, dont entertain any unpleasent thoughts,first it might seem difficult to you to fight these thoughts, but slowly as you keep trying it will go away, believe me my mother is really good today because she fought it, take care, Be happy, god bless you

Find a religion. That is my advice. Religion, since it is practically a way of life, can help you alot. Religion has lots of answers to your questions. I myself am Christian, and let me tell you, even though the bible might be boring, it is the best thing you could read when you're having a hard time. You might not understand the passages at first, but they do answer your questions. I think that The reason why people dont try to understand (your) depression is because of i believe 3 reasons. 1) it's awkward! Think about it, unless it is someone who really cares about you, it is weird listening to someone groaning about their paid. 2) They don't want to feel the pain themselves, meaning they are scared. 3) People don't understand. They dont know that you are feeling, so that can't really answer. Anyways, I think that you should talk to someone who is wise and listens. I recommend a pastor; even if they don't know you, I'm sure they will try their best to answer your pain.

Keep on hanging on, ally! .. You are not alone. So many people out there are on the same boat like you. Others may have more deeper, graver problems than yours. You just have to be strong and be brave in facing life's challenges. I know how it feels, i'm also carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders right now. There are so many times i become hopeless, empty and unhappy but i keep on hanging on. Let's hang on my friend! .. Praying for you to be back on your feet again. Godbless. (",)

i know exactly what you are feeling. It is always dark inside my heart. Sure, i have brief periods of time where things seem lifted off my shoulders a bit and i can laugh and smile, but it is still always darkness. i always put on this hard front...this facade...so people don't know what i am actually feeling inside. It is so mush easier to pretend. Then people don't ask questions and you don't have to explain yourself.

onlt those peole can understand ur pain who 9 wht depression is all abt...bt u need to fight it all alone.....plz dont let people 9 coz they will call u sick...its no use trying for others support....develop ur own courage and try to relize ur strengths

i know where you are coming from. i feel the same way. depression. pain. i dont know but for some reason i cant control it. im happy with my friends around me, they are very supportive but its not enough... i am not truly happy. im not taking any medication. sometimes i cry myself to sleep just to forget the pain for a while