mums! read this!
By xXmeganxX
@xXmeganxX (4421)
February 13, 2007 8:49pm CST
hi there to all the mums on mylot, right this is a bit arkward what im going to say but it is true and it really upset ME!
i have a worker who tries to get me into college, ive had her since i was younger right because i left school early and she has to work with me until the age of 21 years! so im stuck with her for another 2 years! OH GOD! ( sigh)
the other week she called me and said, come on now we need to get you into some sort of college or training, you can't be spending your life sitting down on your bum ALL DAY at home because your going to rot in the house! well OH MY GOD WAS I HAPPY? NO!
bearing in mind that im a full time mum, don't have a minute to myself and i NEVER sit down until my daughters asleep, i even think im depressed which im going to see about this with my doctor!
BUT I COULD NOT BELIEVE SHE SAID SITTING DOWN ALL DAY! HOW DARE THE CHEEKY............... ( NOT GOING TO SAY THE WORD) i slave around all day in my house, washing ironing cleaning, sometimes cooking,iook after my daughter, try to look after myself too in the process of it
AND look after my partner, i swear im like his MUM too! well since then i haven't spoke to her because i sort of screamed down the phone and i think she didn't know that i took it serious and other things! but omg im still fumin over it, i feel like going mad and ringing her and telling her not to ever ring me again but i can't do that! to be honest i would rther work than go to college but then again i do work full time in my house, i probably do more in an hourshe does in a day! anyone wish to comment on this? feel free to say what you like because i probably think the sames as you!
all users will be rated! phew!
9 people like this
33 responses
@urbangirl (1456)
• Australia
14 Feb 07
She probably just has no idea how much work is involved- no need to take it to heart and get all worked up about it. You don't really need to put so much more pressure on youself and listen to what people say. It can't be of any help to your depresion.
Ask her if she'll babysit for you one day and leave her a long list of chores to do.
Alternatively, you could tell her you'd love to go to college as you've heard that it's a great lifestyle - mostly sleeping and partying all the time! ;-)
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
14 Feb 07
hehe urbangirl that made me laugh a litle, lol! one thing is she can't babysit because she works as part of our goverment, two if i said that to her about college she would make me go probably! really nobody knows what this girls like, she gives her orders out and expects peole to do them, nobody likes her who i know who knows her! the thing is i know i shouldn't get worked up but this is not the first time she has done or said something like this, she is a very cruel person and i honestly mean that! thanks for responding anyway!
2 people like this
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
15 Feb 07
thanks for reading my response back, now you know what i meant, lol. :)
@urbangirl (1456)
• Australia
14 Feb 07
Oh, okay - I see there is much more to this than just a thoughtless comment - this person sounds horrible. My condolences for having to be exposed to such a person. Is there any way you can limit your exposure to her?
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
14 Feb 07
oh my goodness! does she not have any children of her own ? do you have to talk to her or couldnt you just, not answer her calls when she calls ? or is it one of those workers who need to keep in touch with you every week. i've never had a worker but i imagine its just like having another mom or dad telling you what to do when your already an adult. lordy i dont think i could deal. What would happen if you were rude to her and told her to shove it lol ?
3 people like this
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
14 Feb 07
hey there, you cheered me up, lol! i wish i could tell her to shove it but she's a high person in her workplace she's next to the manager so it wouldn't go down well and yep i HAVE to have her, ive tried to get rid of her but i can't unfortunatley, and yes she acts like she's my parents! now this is true what im going to say right.. first she came into my house one day and seen i had new stuff she started commenting on where did i get money from, why am i buying all expensive stuff and telling me to pay my bills! ahem i do pay them or wouldn't be sitting her now and after she went i thought OMG OMG OMG how cheeky is she!!!!!!!! telling me what to do and coming here saying what i can and can't do! well i am ignoring the phone to her she can SHOVE it lol because im really done with her now! i hate to say this but i do HATE HER and it's not like me to hate anyone! thanks a;lot for responding and i hope you read back on what i said! :o)
2 people like this
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
14 Feb 07
oops i also forgot to say no she doesn't have any kids, and really i tink im more mature than her most of the time and she's alot older than me!
2 people like this
@krislouiebaby (2347)
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
being a mom is a very tough job,
doing all the household chores, taking care of kids,
and don't even take care of yourself sometimes because you are too busy doing things.
like you i will feel bad too,when i heard someone telling me that...
goodluck to you,,and happy parenting...
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
14 Feb 07
thanks alot for responding and i couldn't agree with you more, thanks again! :o)
2 people like this
@smkwan2007 (1036)
• Hong Kong
14 Feb 07
Who is that worker? Is she your supervisor? She has her own home, her own family. Why doesn't she mind her own business on taking care of her family. If she is just someone not as important, you don't have to follow her instruction. However, you may reconsider her suggestions and your conditions. If she has a point, you may try to figuring a way change your life style based on your own will.
@lols189 (4742)
•
15 Feb 07
its not a social worker its a connexions worker who helps her find a job/college placement etc. she is getting a full time job asap and she is mature and wise enough to sort her career out herself. we dont have social services as our family dont need help and aint got problems. i am her sister so obviously i should. when people do mention social services we are easily offended, it doesnt mean because we aint got parents we need them as we are immature and wise to get on with our life without help from anybody :-)
1 person likes this
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
14 Feb 07
she sounds like a social worker who is truly trying to help this woman she dosent realise it right now but when she is older she will sicsh she had listened to her!
1 person likes this
@simplysue (631)
• United States
14 Feb 07
Is this one of those women who doesn't have a family of her own? She has to be, otherwise she must have a maid and a nanny if she thinks you sit around all day wasting away. Raising children and taking care of a spouse/significant other is no small task.
2 people like this
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
15 Feb 07
hey thank you sue, well said, and nope she doesn't have any children, i do more in an hour than what she does in a day probably and she calls me lazy aaaah, lol! thanks alot for responding! :o)
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
14 Feb 07
Hey hon I raised 4 girls all by myself and thank God daily I have a colledge education it makes life a lot easier in the long run Cause i got a good job where i was paid for what i knew as opposed to what i did !why not be a modern women get your partner to help with the housework (He may not want to but this is 21st century and he needs to )ND GO FOR IT i swear youll never be sorry !it beats slaving in a fast food resturaunt for less thsn minimum wage and this way all of you can benefit !
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
15 Feb 07
hi well true yes you are right in a way but im starting a job hopefully in the next 2 weeks which i found myself, it's going to be hard to have a full time job and do everything else in the meantime but it's just life but i can say is that i definetly don't sit on my bum all day in the house from what that woman said! thanks for responding.
@Lxandra79 (1535)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I feel ya!! I just hate it when peoples especially my aunt tells me to go back to school and do something, and trust me I dont like it when peoples tell me what to do, this is why my mom stopped doing it because she knows im not! Im not because I dont like school never have!
My aunt she started talking on the phone and telling me to go back cuz I need an educuation, but see I went to a tech school when I was 18 years old after HS, but its pretty hard to get a job with computers now that I forgot how to do the stuff, I didnt go to work after that because I got pregnant and they didnt allow a pregnant girl of 19 to work, which sucked!...so all 5 years I was taking care of my son, and I dont have that much experiene. Now my mom is telling me to get a job which I hate working 2, but I have to to take care of my son, I dont want to work in retail so Im goin to work as a mail carrier, which I dont like the coldness, but u start at 19 dollars an hour 40 hours a week, now thats alot of money considering Im poor right now.
Anyways back to you..hehe..sorry I went on about me. You should be mad at her, is she a family member? She shouldnt talk to you like that, why dont u just tell her, I told my aunt on the phone that I dont want to go back to school.
If you tell her Im sure she will stop.
Take care!
2 people like this
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
15 Feb 07
hi there, thanks for sharing your story with me, i have told this girl that i don't want to go to college and that i want to work, but she doesn't like the fact what i want to do, she wants me to do what she wants me to do! (sigh), im going to speak to her and tell her how i feel about her it's degrading, lol! im sure i will get through to her one day, thanks again.
@prue187 (517)
• United States
14 Feb 07
Hi sorry about what happened. I can relate I'm a full time mommy I do work at home probably 1 to 4 hours a day the maximum, my husband always tells me that my first priority are my kids, which I spend more time with them especially with my little one who is less than 2 years old. Some colleagues ask me to go out with them go somewhere shopping and maybe chat. In my case I feel like my time is not enough, if I go out with them I'll be thinking about my kids, my husband and the chores. Dad are ok when you leave them in the house but it is more organized if Mommy is there. Sometimes other moms think they are so better than us because they work outside, but the truth is full time mother are just so great you can't tell where their energy comes from. They might be thinking that we are too lazy to go out and work just leave our kids to childcare, But this is not how it works FYI. Our responsibility is to take care of our kids, if we stay at home then it is our calling if other moms work outside from home that's their prerrogative, but your worker needs to mind her own business and be more supportive to you, if she treats you as a family members she should be more sensitive towards the things that your dealing with. I believe she's just jealous of you. Ignore whatever she says especially if it's negative. Happy Valentine's day!
2 people like this
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
15 Feb 07
hi there and thanks for responding, i replied to your response back on page 2! :o)
@prue187 (517)
• United States
14 Feb 07
Hi sorry about what happened. I can relate I'm a full time mommy I do work at home probably 1 to 4 hours a day the maximum, my husband always tells me that my first priority are my kids, which I spend more time with them especially with my little one who is less than 2 years old. Some colleagues ask me to go out with them go somewhere shopping and maybe chat. In my case I feel like my time is not enough, if I go out with them I'll be thinking about my kids, my husband and the chores. Dad are ok when you leave them in the house but it is more organized if Mommy is there. Sometimes other moms think they are so better than us because they work outside, but the truth is full time mother are just so great you can't tell where their energy comes from. They might be thinking that we are too lazy to go out and work just leave our kids to childcare, But this is not how it works FYI. Our responsibility is to take care of our kids, if we stay at home then it is our calling if other moms work outside from home that's their prerrogative, but your worker needs to mind her own business and be more supportive to you, if she treats you as a family members she should be more sensitive towards the things that your dealing with. I believe she's just jealous of you. Ignore whatever she says especially if it's negative. Happy Valentine's day!
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
15 Feb 07
hey thanks alot for that and i am ignoring her because i do think she's jealous! i totally agree on everything you said also! :o) thanks alot for responding and happy valentines day too you too! :o)
@fabwisp (1327)
•
14 Feb 07
Does she have children of her own? I would phone her up, and very calmly apologise for screaming at her(lol you don't have to mean it!). And explain to her that you understand that for some people it would be a good option but you don't feel it is for you yet. Tell her what you have to do each day and how busy you are. Also tell her that you've been feeling a bit down and need to sort that issue before you take on anything new. She should understand and suggest a new plan of action.
It might be worth considering though. A part time course or job, it would get you out of the house for a few hours. It would give you the space to be you again. Some time to not just be someones partner or mother. It might not be for you but its worth considering. Take care.
2 people like this
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
15 Feb 07
hey fabwisp thanks v much for the great response, im starting work in the next couple of weeks, a job which i found myself which is good! i will speak to her probably soon as she does ring me quite a few times every so often and i will tell her then, also im going to tell her not to interfere with my life as i don't like that too, maybe she will listen well i hope so and if not then i will choose the option to ignore all her calls and so on! thanks :o)
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
14 Feb 07
People without children of their own never realize that we do have a full time job just taking care of our kids, not to mention all the housework and taking care of our partners. Seems to me she needs a reality check. I think you should make a list of everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING) you do in the run of a day and next time you have to see her, show her the list and ask if she could point out to you at which point you were sitting on your bum! I'd be very upset if I were to you and it really is to bad you can't just tell her to shove it!
2 people like this
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
15 Feb 07
hey angel, great idea, i might just do that and can't wait to see the look on her face! probably she won't believe me to and stil think i lie in bed all day, i wish i could ask her to come and sit in my house all day and actually see for herself that i don't sit down but she wouldn't be able to do that as she is a connexions worker! thanks alot for responding anyway! :o)
@mobyfriend (1017)
• Netherlands
14 Feb 07
You can tell her the only moment you are sitting down is to write a nice response to a discussion on MyLot (wink). Explain to her that MyLot is college since you can educated on lots of topics over here plus making friends from other countries (good for the language department)
Excuse me while I go back to my housework before someone accuses me of sitting around all day.
Mums even if they are sitting down they are the core of the family (wink)
2 people like this
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
15 Feb 07
hehe i liked your response, and yes ( in a sarcastic way) don't sit down you might get accused too by anyone, LOL! i will tell her about mylot but then again she complains that a computers too expensive to run and why have i got one?! she interferes too much that i don't like bringing her in my house! thanks for responding! :o)
@poppoppop111 (5731)
• Canada
14 Feb 07
i'm a stay at home mom and that drives me nuts when people tell me that i don't have a job and i get to sit around and watch tv all day. that's not what i do. being a mom is harder than going out working. we work 24-7 with no breaks. The woman who said that to you must not have any kids. she obviously doesn't know how much work it is to be a mother.
2 people like this
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
15 Feb 07
wow, well said poppoppop, i liked your response as your 100% right and no also she doesn't have kids, that's why she's probably judging me! thanks for responding. :O)
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
14 Feb 07
I could perfectly understand you. For someone who is doing and moving a lot around the house including the children, 24 hours seems not enough for us to finish our task. We end up bone tired and think about sleep, sleep, sleep. We don't have the time to deal with someone who likes to dominate or manipulate us either. But why not look on the positive side, maybe what your worker meant is that it is better for you to get hold of a college degree rather than nothing. If your children are not attending school yet, I suggest you wait for a few years 'till they reach grade school then you can start enrolling in college. I do not have any idea about online course but it sure sounds like a good option. Just stay cool...
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
15 Feb 07
hey there, thanks alot for responding, i might consider doing some college courses in the near future but that is when my child will be going to school! thanks again! :o)
@runsgame (2031)
• India
14 Feb 07
i am very sorry to read this discussion . u are just possessing a different man kind. u should not do like this . i think u are not having any kind of love towards the elders or the persons who are helping me or doing service. please do not forget that wht ever u do 2 day will be reverted back and given to u by some body even may be by your kids in the near future. please leave such a thought over the moms.
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
14 Feb 07
sorry, i didn't really understand that! this woman is NOT trying to help, she thinks she is because it's her job to do that but she is way to nosey, too much into my business, tells me what i can and can't do, comments on things i have bought in my house and nasty comments yes and alot of other things!! she is just like my mum when im a mum myself, i don't need people to tell me what to do and this is what she is doing to me, im old enough mature enough and so on! if you could reply back to me because i would like you to tell me again what you mean in more detail! thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@peni88 (469)
• United States
14 Feb 07
some people just dont understand how hard being a mother is. yes, going back to school would be wonderful, ut where would you find the time. who is this worker and why does she think its ok for her to think she can run your life? i know how hard it is doing everything that you do. i have 4 kids. being a parent is a full time job no matter what anyone says.youre doing fine just dont listen to what other people say. hope things get better for you.
2 people like this
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
14 Feb 07
she works for our goverment ( council) she thinks she can run my life because she is in a high position in her job, and im happy that you responded because you know how hard it is being a parent! thanks alot anyway for your nice response and comments! :o)
1 person likes this
@lameran (1147)
• Indonesia
14 Feb 07
hmmmm, I think you should tell her that you actually not just sitting down at home, but you really busy at home from babysitting your partner and you son and do the houseworks, and that really take almost all your time, I think that will be better, and I think may be you could tell her, to visit arround and help you instead of just judging from her place, imho.
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
14 Feb 07
hey, ive tried saying that but this girl only listens to what she wants to hear, i don't think she believes me also! she judges alot of people from what ive heard and one day it will come back on her wether she's a worker for the goverment or not and i hope it does! she thinks she can speak to people like rubbish because she's in a high role! pfft. thanks v much for responding wirh your good response but ive tried all this! :o)
1 person likes this
@grannyof8 (83)
• United States
14 Feb 07
Boy do I know what your talking about all my girls are grown now but when they were little I had to work I would work third shift so my boyfriend could watch them at night and I would be with them in the day time I would try to stay awake but couldnt so I would put them in their room and slept on couch just out side the door so I could here them mind you they were 3,2,1 at the time well because I put them in their room while I slept I was turned into child protective services and was told I couldnt do that so I tried working and staying awake but couldnt do it so had to quit work and go back on assistance and they require you to work so I tried again its just a vicious circle with no way out it seems like.
2 people like this
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
14 Feb 07
i agree with you on this one, jeez you must of been well tired when you got home and had to do other things in the house aswell and i know how you feel, i did do a bit of part time hours well it was less than that about a year back in the night when my daughter was asleep and her dad was minding her, then i would like to come home and do everything else but i just couldn't i was that worn out, lol! your very brave tho for doing that! thanks alot for responding and sharing with me! :o)
1 person likes this
@thecaitycat (267)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I'm not a mom (sorry), but I've often thought that being a mom must be harder than most careers, which is why I don't want to be one. At least I can leave the office, come home, and not be an office assistant for a while! Being a mom looks super hard and I admire those who take it seriously and do it well.
My mom spent quite a bit of time at home with us and I think we took her for granted a lot of the time. Now that she's got her Master's degree and is once again a full-time teacher, my dad's doing the cooking and housework and driving my sisters to school and band practice and I'm not sure he realized just what all-day-long job it is.
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
14 Feb 07
hehe.. it's good to know that your dad is acting upon mum in the household, my partner too is very helpful here well sometimes he can be lazy as most people can! and yes your right being a mum is hard, i have to admit, i honestly thought it was an easy job, but i thought wrong. thanks alot for responding and having your say on this! :o)
2 people like this
@braided (698)
• Canada
14 Feb 07
I'm not impressed with people who tell me what they think i should do .... especially if i havent asked her or him for their help or advice ... i totally get how you are feeling and i would be fuming too ... we do people do that to others i will never now ... when will they finally look at the log in their own eye instead of the sliver in another persons eye ... if they in fact have a sliver .... i just will never understand this kind of person .... well i cant tell ya what to do about her cause its not my place ... you will know in your heart what is right .. just know some of us know how you feel .... happy valentines day anyway ...
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
15 Feb 07
hey there thanks alot for responding, maybe one day she will learn on not to judge people and try to knoe there business! :o) thanks again!
