Relationships with Exes

@Jshean20 (14349)
Canada
February 22, 2007 3:11am CST
I often hear about people who were once married and somehow they remain friends after becoming divorced, often it's for their children's sake. Do you think you could remain friends with an ex? Has it ever happened? Do you know of success stories where a couple became friends after divorcing? Were there children involved?
6 people like this
16 responses
• United States
22 Feb 07
A friend of mine and his ex wife are very close but I have to say, it makes issues for anyone he dates. He says he and she are great together but just can't live and tolerate each other. They have kids so it makes for a great situation as far as the kids go but any other person coming into their life is often faced with a very odd situation. Personally, I think it's great to maintain a workable relationship with your ex, especially when kids are involved, but there has to be some space. I divorced for a reason and if I thought he was so great of a person I wouldn't have divorced him. That's my theory. LOL
• United States
22 Feb 07
I don't know if I would consider myself friends with my ex's. I do try to speak civilly to them, and treat them with a bit of respect because of our children. Having been involved with them I do let them know when I think they are being idiots. Sometimes they just need the outside perspective on that. Though I do constantly tell myself that they are my ex's for a reason. My husband knew about them before getting involved with me (I have been married only once before, but I do have children from relationships when I wasn't married). I also told him that I am someone's ex. So that means that while they had issues, I'm sure that I do as well. I try to keep in mind that it takes two people to be in a relationship, and it takes two people to end a relationship.
• United States
22 Feb 07
I don't think I could do it, but my best friends are friends with their exes. I have one that was married, was going to get a divorce, but then didn't. Their marriage isn't the same, but they are sure staying together for the kids. My other best friend is with another guy, and though while not married, she stayed, and has tried to stay friends with her ex.
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I've been friends with my ex off and on through out the years and we have 2 kids together. It never lasts long though because he will try to get too involved in my life and it always ends up in a fight. I wish we could get along for the kids though. That would be really nice...but I don't think it's ever going to happen...
• United States
22 Feb 07
I think that it would be hard for me to remain friends with my husband if we divorced, but I wouldn't really have a choice because we have a child together, so I guess I would just try to make the best of it for my sons sake.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Mar 07
I would say that it would depend on the reason for our falling out. I do currently deal with an ex. But the reason for our split was mutual. We still remain friends to this day, and that was over 9 years ago. If my current fiance and I were to split, I'm not sure that I would remain friends with him. I guess I won't ever know unless it happens.
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I only know of one story of a couple remaining friends after a divorce and that was my aunt and her first husband. They tried to remain friends because of their daughter and they ended up actually being friends. But for me, I don't think i could be friends with any of my exes.
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I am "friends" with my ex husband. I mean we don't hang out, but we talk regularly and have even taken our daughter out to lunch together. It is what is best for our daugher. Us fighting is not going to help her. My brother, is best friends with his ex-wife. He, his wife, his ex-wife and her husband take family vacation together. It is what is best for kids. I know it sounds silly, but ultimately the kids are the ones that count and nothing else matters.
@suman76 (648)
• India
23 Feb 07
I have heard so many case and now a day it is usually happened they are those who never want to burdon their relationship on each other. When they divorced they are free to enjoy and have no sorry ,execuse and any type of matter which become complicated and responsible and urgently for the welfare of the house. So I think they only want to become friends because they are not made for each other as a married couple and don't want also.
• Canada
28 Feb 07
I couldn't be friends with my ex partner. He beat me, raped me and attempted to kill me more than once. I got the heck out of there eventually and I would rather die than have contact with him again.
@rachelzwo (310)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I'm friends with my high school sweetheart still. We were engaged to be married, but things happened and we brokeup. It wasn't a messy breakup or anything like that. I joined the Army and he stayed where we grew up and things just didn't work out. But I'm happily married now and he's in love again. We talk once in awhile and I call his mom still to see how the family's doing.
@sammantha (278)
• United States
23 Feb 07
as a person who got married before and now remarried I can say that I would never talk to my ex.I n fact I seen him once since the divorced and walked right past him.I am so glad that I never had kids with him. He looked at me and told me that all he would do was pay child support and never see that child. Now I am happy with the three kids that I do have and I am glad that I am happy that I have moved on.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
I think a couple can never be friends again after breaking each other's heart. in my opinion, we cannot make friends with somebody who cheat and make our life miserable.
• United States
1 Mar 07
I do know a couple who remains good friends to this day in spite of a divorce and they do have children. Speaking for myself, I am not sure, especially since in my situation there is another man in the picture, and he and my ex can not ever accept each other.
• United States
23 Feb 07
Yea..I know many people that are friends with there exes..Like my mom and dad.,.They had such a bad bad past..they fought day and night..and i really thought they were gonna kill each other someday..then my dad left..and the weirdest thing happened..They became such great friends!! They talkon the phone every day..and on holidays they still buy each other presents,,,even Valentines day..and mom even lets dad come and eat on the Holidays..i guess they just couldt live together..but have a stronger friendship..and i think its pretty cool!
@brew2x (3094)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
I think it's possible to remain friends with your ex. It's going to be hard especially at first but I believe it will work out if both of you really wanted to.