Do people misunderstand you loud voice to be rude?

@leanette (3002)
India
February 23, 2007 12:45am CST
I have a Loud voice which often gets me into trouble, not that I would rather want a meek voice! But whenever I talk people often think that I am being rude or argumentative. They think am an angry person or so! But its just the normal tone of my voice!!!! Even my family ask me hush down when am trying to say something!! lol Does anybody face such funny problem? :)
7 people like this
48 responses
• United States
23 Feb 07
I was just having this discussion with my mom. I come from a long line of loud talkers and I think I'm the most reserved out of all of them. However, my husband always knows when I am talking to someone in my family because he says my voice gets so much louder. I've been shushed before, often. I am also misinterpreted for being angry or aggressive. I feel your pain! :)
@leanette (3002)
• India
23 Feb 07
I have always kinda get into trouble and have been hushed down and not given much chance to speak! It's quite annoying when people mistake you to be rude and angry, but then its all the same funny! But when am really angry, thats the end of em all! lol
@ThioYF (82)
• Indonesia
23 Feb 07
I a bit jealous because you have a loud voice :) i'm a man. and my bad i have a weak voice. therefore i rather not talking as mush as i want to. having a loud voice i think is good. you don't need to lower your tone. just be as you are, you will know the good thing for having a loud voice :)
2 people like this
@leanette (3002)
• India
23 Feb 07
Eventhough my voice gets me trouble I still like the way it is cos it most often scares people off! :))
• United States
23 Feb 07
Its never a good strategy to speak louder when you think somebody doesn't understand you, just ask around, its the worst strategy ever.
2 people like this
@leanette (3002)
• India
23 Feb 07
Indeed. But how can I help it? It's the normal tone of my voice!
@cruzades (660)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
Yes, I too have a loud voice, they always thought that I'm angry while talking to them. As much as possible, I toned down my voice (dang it's hard.. lolz), whenever I'm trapped into a conversation, otherwise, I'm in big trouble. ^^
2 people like this
@leanette (3002)
• India
23 Feb 07
Yea its really hard trying to lower your voice down, but to save me from all the trouble I talk really less.
• United States
23 Feb 07
LOL this is funny because everyone says I'm loud, but I'm just talking normal! I guess I'm a big mouth, too!! I don't care, they get mad because I talk a lot and too loud in the movie theatre and I'm just always loud! I talk loud, I laugh loud and my dad always thinks I'm yelling at him or talking back to him which is so dumb because I'm exactly like him! So if anything he should understand how I am! Yeah, you're not the only one who gets into trouble for having a loud mouth!!
2 people like this
@leanette (3002)
• India
23 Feb 07
lol nice to really know there are people who share the pain with me! :) but its really funny when people get confused with the intent of my talk and the tone of my voice.
• Brazil
24 Feb 07
Haha you know, my father has exactly the same problem, it's kinda funny since he seens to be screaming when talking lol... When there is an discussion he just looks like the maddest person ever or something like, i know some people think he's rude but he isn't, he just can't control his voice volume xD... I don't have this person, i think if i had it would be a bit funny :P
2 people like this
@ygkchaitu (388)
• India
24 Feb 07
Some times it really happens. I shout out with frustration but other times when i speak louder people misunderstand it to shouting and they get me into rude behaviour. You need to be really careful at work place because that could you your job.
@lingli_78 (12834)
• Australia
23 Feb 07
well, for me i dislike people talking in aloud voice with me as i will think they are being rude, yelling at me or angry at me... but may be by reading your post i learn a point... may be it is just the nature of somebody's voice that we can't change because it is given since we are born... how about the tone??? i mean, if your voice is loud, can you change the tone of your voice so that people won't misunderstand you??? hope this helps... :-)
2 people like this
• United States
23 Feb 07
I am sorry but I do not have this problem as I talk real softly and everyone thinks I am scared or something but that it not it as it hurts for mee to speak loudly as my larnyx (SP) was crushed twice in my life. People are always telling mee that I need to speak up and be assertive but they just don't understand that I just speak lightly. In a way it is a good thing since I only have to raise my voice once and my children and everyone else for that matter listen and say that I scare the hell out of them since I am such a quiet person. So don't feel alone nor think it is just for loud talkers since us soft talkers get harrassed as well. Have a great day!!
@leanette (3002)
• India
23 Feb 07
Well I am really sorry about that. When people judge others by their voice they often get it all wrong. Yes soft voiced people are also often mistaked to be meek and the loud voiced so aggressive! We are on the same boat! :) Have a great day you too!
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Feb 07
In the same damn boat and not a single freeking paddle maybe we need to start using our hands (use sign language as that cannot be mistaken as it is neither soft nor loud) to make any advancement up this damn river! HAHA!! Here is an idea for you...smile as it will either confuse the hell out of them or scare them since they already think you are always mad because of the loud voice!! Have a great day with an even better tomorrow!!
1 person likes this
@leanette (3002)
• India
1 Mar 07
LOL! you are right, maybe sign launguage would be what we would end up doin next! :)) btw my voice gives me a few laughs sometimes when it scares people and am happy about that! Maybe you should also get yourself a good laugh knowin people just knw rats about you through that voice! Thank you! And have a great day, everyday! :)
• India
24 Feb 07
Generally, I don't use loud voice. My voice is smooth and friendly. But I sometime feel about other's loud voice as rude and bad manners.
@leanette (3002)
• India
1 Mar 07
It's not that I Use a loud voice but indeed, its bad manners and rude but how can they help it if it is their natural tone?
@Josette_J (806)
• Malaysia
23 Feb 07
Haha! This is a funny one to me. I have a loud voice too and sometimes when I'm speaking to my sister, she will tell me to keep my voice down and don't shout so much. I would then insist to her that I was not shouting and was merely talking in my normal voice. She would not believe me and still tell me to pipe down. Well, since your loud voice could get you into trouble, maybe you can practise speaking in a softer voice. Haha! That's what I'm trying to do when I speak to anyone, though when I'm with my friends, all of us talk happily and normally, without anybody complaining whose voice is loud.
1 person likes this
@leanette (3002)
• India
23 Feb 07
Yes, with family and strangers I am to 'watch my voice'. My friends are the only ones who put up with my loud voice! lol :))
@sunnypub (2130)
• United States
23 Feb 07
My husband has a loud voice too but it is not the noise level that makes us think he is being rude, it is the tone of his voice. I mean you can be loud but be talking in a funny tone and not be mistaked for being rude. My husband just almost always has negative or grouchy tone to his voice. this is my only experience with this type of thing so I can only say what I have learned from it. Your situation might be different.
@leanette (3002)
• India
23 Feb 07
I wouldn't exactly know what my tone is like except for that it is loud. Yea of course when am funny I sound funny but other 'normal' talking time it gives out a wrong sound. But I guess it's not exactly the voice that sends out wrong message about a person, like, I am a silent person by nature so people think I might be soft and meek not until they get to hear my voice, but then they mistake me to be rude..and so there are plenty things that people wrongly judge, the voice is just the funniest!
@sithlord (167)
• India
24 Feb 07
yea..i face the same problemm...my parents thing the same thing..and the really pissing off thing is..after that only i get angry..and well...its irritating.but what to do..theyre also human...
• Philippines
24 Feb 07
yeah.. sometimes i also got into trouble because i too fave a loud voide. the one thing that i am very tahnkfull is that i have a good face.. hehehe.. lol
1 person likes this
• India
24 Feb 07
Once when i attended a mock interview my seniors who acted as HR's said "u r rude".....but i talked politely only.....it's because of my voice i got into trouble with them & with others
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7540)
• Philippines
24 Feb 07
LOL...you just described my husband here. Everyone kept telling me my husband has an extraordinarily loud voice. I admit sometimes it irritated me. Being a soft spoken person myself, its like there's a build-in microphone inside my husband's throat. I always have to remind him to lower his voice. People might think we're into some arguments or something. LOL...
@vanities (11409)
• Davao, Philippines
24 Feb 07
well nope i dont..but mom is ..we think that she is always angry everytime she talks..thanks God we havent inherit it..
@kathy77 (7487)
• Australia
24 Feb 07
I used to have a loud voice as well as when I learnt to talk my mother was deaf and that was the reason, but when I started school, one day my mother's friend went to pick up me from school, and the teacher asked what was wrong with me due to this loud voice and so the teacher understood and then taught me to mediate so that when I was with my mother I spoke loud and while I was there at school, or anywhere else I could speak with a normal tone. Thank goodness for teachers!!
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Feb 07
I get misunderstood because of my voice also. They tell me to stop yelling all the time. andI'm not. I don't thinkI'm talking losd but I guess I am. But, I want to be heard! LOL Don't ever change the way you talk be proud that you are getting heard!
1 person likes this
• Canada
23 Feb 07
My partner is exactly the same. He has a loud voice and it actually put off a potential landlady once. We went to look at an apartment she had for rent, it was in her basement, and she said she'd call us back. She left a message on our voice mail a couple of days later saying that she was sorry, she'd thought it over and decided against it because she was a little worried about my partners loud voice. I felt that was discriminatory, simply because she never even asked us whether it would be possible for him to tone it down a little, which he is more than capable of doing. When he heard the message she left he just shrugged his shoulders and said "I am who I am. I'm not going to change just because someone doesn't like the level of my voice. Something better will come along." he was right and you know .... there have been no complaints about the level of his voice or anything. I suffer too from a moderate hearing loss in both ears, so having someone who talks a little louder than most people is a good thing for me lol.
1 person likes this