My Friends girlfriend discusses her personal life with me, do you think thats OK

India
February 23, 2007 3:40pm CST
I have this wierd feeling and uneasiness when this happens to me... i really dont know how to react or how to respond,,, i have tried letting her know that i am not in the best position to decide who's right or wrong.... she though i am afraid of talking to her because she is my friends girlfriemd... and the wierd thing is that ... that is the truth about it... and all that matters that she discusses with me... i dont think i deserve it to be there or even i want to be there?!?! ANY suggestions to get outta this situation here
4 people like this
37 responses
@maddysmommy (16232)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I think you should tell her how uncomfortable you are when she talks to you about her personal life. Be straight up about it, tell her in a nice tone, nice manner that it gets to you and I'm sure she will understand. If it doesn't, then maybe you need to tell your friend to talk to her about it.
• India
23 Feb 07
I do think that i should do that .... i mean its easier to get away from all this fuss... i tried telling her straight up... she just ignores whatever i have to say to her
@jammyt (2822)
• Philippines
24 Feb 07
I totally agree. Let her know... but since you mentioned that she just ignored you, then I think its time to talk to your friend. Sorry to sound like such a pessimist, but if she keep talking to you about personal matters and your friend finds out, you might end up in a tiff with your friend. Does it seem like she's making a pass at you? There are some girls like that, pouring their heart out to their boyfriend's friend only because they like that certain friend. I'm not trying to put you in the spot, but it IS a possibility. Dont wait too long to make your move. let your friend know. The sooner the better --- and faster you get her out of your hair.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Feb 07
I would have told her I don't want to her your personal life becuase it's none of my business becuase you aren't my girlfriend. And if she would keep going again some day I would if I where you just leave her, walk away then come back in abit and tell and tell her if she does talk about her personal life again I life just leave you and I will refuse to talk to you or even look at you.
1 person likes this
• India
24 Feb 07
I have actually tried doing that to her... and have told in more than clear tone but...she really doesnt mind that....i think she doesnt even deserve to be there with my friend. thanks for your suggestions
• United States
23 Feb 07
There are many possibilities. If she is doing so she might need your help but you cannot do anything for her. Tell her frankly that she shouldn't share this thing with you as you're her boyfriend's friend and it will affect your friendship. The other possibility is that she might be testing you. If it is so then you should be strong enough to be rude to her. Another possibility is she might be very innocent but in this condition also you should keep your side clean.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (125519)
• United States
24 Feb 07
If your gut tells you this is wrong, then it certainly is. You need to avoid her, and avoid being alone with her. She is manipulating you, and possibly flirting with you or trying to seduce you. I would especially avoid this, if your friend is really important to you. Good luck. You are showing good judgement.
• India
24 Feb 07
yeah! i do feel its wrong.. not only about the sharing things... but about the things that are EXTREMELY PERSONAL... and might hurt his friends ego on knowing them...its about his thinking and his love ...that her girlfriend thinks too wierd... i dont think she even deserves him....thanks for your advice
• India
24 Feb 07
I hope you will not have this wierd and uneasy feelings untill and unless you treat her as a friend and not as friend's girlfriend...
• India
24 Feb 07
good sugestion man. its the best way
• United States
24 Feb 07
Ask her if she loves her boyfriend, and if she respects him. If she does then she should not discuss her private matters with you, it is totally inappropriate. Since it sounds like you have already told her this, you may have to try telling her that you don't want to spend time with her or talk to her without your friend there. Suggest that it looks bad and that he suspects she is cheating on him if you must, to get it through her head. (Might want to warn your friend before doing that though). Either she's really dense or has a crush on you, and a crush could ruin your friendship if she tells you too much.
• India
24 Feb 07
by the way she behaves i dont think i even need to ask that!!,,, i really dont care about that girl now... i do think she doesnt even deserve to be there with my friends... i forgot to mention its not just about "SHARING" ... there's a bit more to that and that would be the "MATTERS THAT SHE SHARES WITH ME" .... i hate it really... how can someone do that .... i think i am gonna talk to my friend about it after one more try to it
• India
25 Feb 07
The first thing to be done in such situation is to communicate with the person and letting him/her know that you are not the right person to talk about all this and you have already done this thing. so now I thing second thing you should follow is to ignore that person whenever she start talking about such matter. I mean to say, you could change the topic or you could stop her to discuss more about such things. One more thing you could do, if you are having really a good relationship with your friend and you people could talk about your personal life with each other, I thinkg the best thing is to let your friend know about this thing. You should let him know in a very proper manner, you should tell him to take a very good care about such things. There might be some problems going on in their relationship and thats why she is talk with you about all this matter.
• Singapore
24 Feb 07
Have you asked yourself why she is telling you about her? Because she values you opinions and because she wants to share her life with the person she loves! Just be there for her, yea? It doesn't matter whether you have the wisdom of a sage or not, she just wants you to be there. :)
• India
24 Feb 07
If she was that innocent then what happened betn u & her
• Kuwait
24 Feb 07
you should not act more than a smile and do not tolerate that, it will become a big problem to you and your friend.
@mikekire (146)
• Nigeria
24 Feb 07
All you will do is to tell her to stop the act or you will tell your friend. That will scare her and she will definitely give you a break. If she continues, probably, she is no longer in love with your friend and wants you instead. In that case, the choice becomes yours but it is bad to betray the trust your friend has in you.
@jhoanee (598)
• Philippines
24 Feb 07
she is confiding you because she thinks she can trust you. if u can just give her an advice or tell her ur honest opinion even if it might hurt her. she thinks u were a nice friend that she trusted you. if i were you give her the honest opinion that you have in mind then its up to her what to decide regarding her problem.
@june24 (26)
• Canada
24 Feb 07
I think everything depends. I personally would like to draw the line up to when I can entertain things without me and her feeling uncomfortable. Lots of people takes time, courage and trust to open personal things in their lives and I guess i owe that privileged to be trusted. But again, I have to draw the line up to when or where can we discuss things without being bias to my girlfriend. When that time comes, i will just let her know that i appreciate her being open with me, but the stuff she is talking about makes me feel uneasy and I dont want to pursue more on the discussion.
@ellijah (244)
• Nigeria
24 Feb 07
Hi, there is no problem of a friend girl friend discusing her personal life with u.she loves u that is why and dont let it scare u.she believes that u are a good guy.please dont tell anyone what she tells u .if u can give her advice in some things .please do.
• India
24 Feb 07
Yeh I agree with ur viewsregarding this matter, I am also facing the same problem. Even I am not able to take the decision on this, but I am trying to maintain the freindship with my girlfriend.
@candygurl24 (1880)
• Canada
24 Feb 07
I would feel very awkward too. You can talk to her, but I'd just tell her that talking about everyday life is as far as it can go. Tell her that if she is having issues, she should be turning to her boyfriend first, and if she cannot talk to him, try family.
@jimotman (633)
• Indonesia
24 Feb 07
maybe you should just listen to her, people sometimes just need to be heard, you know? maybe she wants to talk to someone she knows, but not her boyfriend, because sometimes it's quite different to discuss some things with your spouse and with your friend. just listen to her and try to respond to her problems, and to avoid any misunderstandings, I think you should also let your friend know that she's talking to you.
@djbtol (5496)
• United States
24 Feb 07
Sounds like an awkward situation. I know not the best answer, just handle with care.
• Philippines
24 Feb 07
maybe she trusted you most than to your friend(her boyfriend) but you have to talk to her frankly and nicely that you're not in the best position.If I were you,I will talk to my friend(her boyfriend) about her problem or I will simply ask her,why not saying this to her boyfriend...
• Nepal
24 Feb 07
In my oponion its fine that girlfren should discuss her personal life with you ,but the main thing is it depend upon person to person . ok if you feel uneasy then you can tell you galfren in a good manner good way and its all i want to say......