Washing the dishes does your partner help?

@marciascott (25529)
United States
February 27, 2007 7:32pm CST
No my husband never helps with anything. the dishes you can forget it , help to clean the house forget it. I guess I am the maid. I think both couples should share house work. especially if you both work, and even if you women don't work it should be shared, I hate washing dishes. sometimes I feel like I want to live alone, I just get tired of being the maid all the time. how about you guys. + for every 1
9 people like this
54 responses
• United States
1 Mar 07
I do all of the dishes in my place. Of course though I'm single and live alone so I basically have to. I think in a relationship they couples should share doing them. If one person cooks, the other should clean up. And maybe rotate it weekly or daily. It's really not that hard to do and I can do dishes for myself in under 10 minutes and that's with scrubbing them first before I put them in the dishwasher. If I went straight from table to dishwasher it would take me even less time, maybe 2 minutes.
2 people like this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
1 Mar 07
I wish I had a dishwasher. +
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I do agree with you and just last night I freaked out at my husband and he had to take over the dinner. I was feeling like a maid all day and he came home and just laid on the couch while I was cooking dinner which is nothing new. But something set me off and I couldnt stop screaming. So now he will be good for maybe a couple of days I guess.LOL My problem is I dont say anything about it till I cant take it anymore. I think alot of women are like that.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
1 Mar 07
We need help with the house work, it's only fair!!! +
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
my husband works overseas so we dont see each other often. i do the household chores but everytime he's here, he doesnt like doing nothing. he always makes himself busy.
2 people like this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Most men in the Army or Navy are very neat. +
@lisado (1227)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Even though I am a stay at home mom, my husband insists on helping me with the housework. He says that since he helps make the messes (dirty clothes and dishes) that it isn't fair for me to have to do all of the cleaning. I know I am very lucky in this respect. It seems that some men think it's "women's work" and doesn't bother and even complains when things aren't done. I can't blame you for being upset and it's only fair that he helps. Marriage is 50/50. You shouldn't have to do everything. :(
2 people like this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
1 Mar 07
Yes Sweets 50/50 all the way. but it won't happen here!
@mywords18 (645)
• United States
28 Feb 07
yes he does as we have shared everything but i stop him doin soa s he does many things for me in which i cant help him so doin few things on my own is fine with me and i always find so my pleasure in giving him comfort like he has given me always.
2 people like this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
28 Feb 07
that's good dear I think it is fun to share the house work. I half to put my foot down and say Ok. lets do this thing together.
@abby_abz (155)
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
My husband helps me do the dishes. He even wash our clothes, cooks meals and do choirs. What he doesn't like doing is cleaning our baby when she poos. He always passes that job to me. but it's ok. Sometimes he does it when he has no choice. ^_^
2 people like this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
28 Feb 07
that's right sweets, he should!
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Are you kidding, he was allergic to housework, I would tease him and say he broke out in hives. I used to tell him I wanted a wife (not for extra curicular activities), that way she could do all the stuff a wife does. I never did get that wife, haha. I used to tell him fore play was washing dishes, vacumming, dusting etc. He said why, I told him imagine how excited I would be if he did those things, who knows what then would happen at night, oh lala.
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Hahahah, that's funny, did you ever get him to do anything?
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Every now and then he would do something. I would take a picture of him when I caught him washing dishes.
2 people like this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Ok. I would like to see some pictures, well, Vicky I am going to bed. it is 12:15am. good nite1 we will chat later.
1 person likes this
@xtedaxcvg (3189)
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
Me and my wife both work and both share household chores. I do the dishes, ironing of clothes, and half of the laundry, while she does the cooking, and the other half of the laundry. I sometimes cook for my wife, especially when she gets home and there's no one to cook dinner. As for cleaning the house, we do that during our off days. I guess this works because we both have different work shifts. I work from 3am-12noon while she works either 8am-6pm or 12noon-10pm. Another reason why this works is because we're both semi OCs.
2 people like this
@amazehr (429)
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
no he doesn't help me in any type of household chores even those intended for males only i do everything and if i can't i just ask my dad to do it for me coz i know my partner won't help either he doesn't know how or he doesn't want to
2 people like this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
28 Feb 07
It sounds like he doesn't want to. get him to help sometimes, I half to beg my Husband.
1 person likes this
@CatEyes (2448)
• United States
2 Mar 07
I used to run my parents house while I was living with them (starting at 12) Until I was about 20. I made dinner, took care of the babies (mom was sick) and cleaned the house. I even made the Thanksgiving dinners and other holdiay things. So when it came to my husband I really did not expect hime to do any thing, but he was SOOOO very picky that every thing had to be done in a certain way. Like my food was never good enough or I folded to clothes wrong or I did not do this. So I finaly said you make another comment and I will not be doing anything but the bare essentials for the next two year whether I am working or not. That included cooking. He kept it up and hurt me. SO I did not do any of his stuff or cook for hime for 2 years to the date. Now I cook and he does nothing. He know better than to say any thing again. That and also I will just leave. I think that I have a different relationship than you do, but just don't want to put up with is mental or emotional crud any more. Makes my life easier. though his friends think that I am horrible. Thats ok I know the truth and so do most of them.
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
3 Mar 07
That's funny, so you are saying you would not do anything for him for 2 yrs?
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
3 Mar 07
Does he help you now? + I hope so. I asked my husband to mop the floor the other day, you think he did it? No I will do it in the morning.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
28 Feb 07
My husband works outside of our home and he does alot of overtime hours. He will help me sometimes but I really don't expect him to. When I was working outside of the home, I did it all then and I would complain about it. I worked, cleaned, cut the grass, and did the laundry and dishes and all. Now that I get to stay home and earn online, I don't ask to much of him because he works alot for us. It used to bother me, but not any more. He does other things for us now and I do what I can for the household, bills and all.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thank you that was a good answer. I give you best response. I feel as though I do alot, I have to cook and do everything. he is good to me. I wait on him hand and foot. I just think he should help out too. even if I am sick he expects me too do everything.
1 person likes this
@mnksmommy (301)
• United States
28 Feb 07
My hubby and I have been married almost 7 years. During that whole time all house work and even yard work has fallen into my lap. I was 9 months pregnant and mowing a big yard with a PUSH mower. It was really embarrassing. The only time he does anything is when I get fed up and threaten him, nag him, and then he only lasts at the housework for a few days. He is clueless about running a household. What can I do? I refuse to have a nasty house and he is stubborn about helping. Sometimes I think that I'd have less mess if we seperated...sad thoughts aren't they!? It is definitely one of the biggest strains on our marriage....but he refuses to change.
2 people like this
• Bahamas
28 Feb 07
I would get tired being the maid also. I think the work should be shared even if the woman doesn't work. it is a partnership we must always work at it.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
28 Feb 07
See you know what I am talking about, I have been during this for 12 years, a person gets tired sometimes. lift a mop or broom or something.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Feb 07
I do not expect anyone to help me out for cleanning stuff. Also, I do not like if they doing it too. Whenever my roommate cleans the dish or the housework, I will just re-do it again. Just because I do not trust anyone about cleanning issue. I just afraid that people will do it not clean enough for me, and I hate to complain them. So, I just do it by myself. So many times that I will tell all my friends or roommate not to do it...just leave the way it is... and I will clean it up by myself. Otherwise, it will be really wasting the water and energy coz I will do it again anyway ^_^
2 people like this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Yes that's good but if you do it all the time they expect it.
1 person likes this
@mcmomss (2601)
• United States
3 Mar 07
My husband never used to help me. Then last summer I got sick and was in and out of the hospital a couple of times and when I did come home, I couldn't do much. He had to do everything and since then, he's helped me around the house. He said it made him realize exactly how much I did around here. He never leaves the kitchen now after a meal without helping me clean up and unloading the dishwasher has become his job. It's nice after 17 years to finally have some help around here.
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
3 Mar 07
After 17 years. well he should. we have been married for 12 years. nothing have changed. I will get on him sometimes and tell him I am not a maid you can help sometimes. I guess he thinks about it and then try to help. If I stay on him long enough, I will get results.
• United States
1 Mar 07
Your kidding right?? My boyfriend, stepson or anyone else in the house helps me with the dishes (and we don't have a dishwasher, well I guess we do .. ME), my daughter, God Bless Her, everytime she comes over I find her in the kitchen helping me with the dishes, I feel so bad since she does not live with us that I won't let her help just when I feed her, I get more pleasure from feeding her than her helping me with the dishes. Unsure if this counts, but I don't work out the house, so I feel an obligation to do all the dishes and the housework, but just once it would be nice if someone did offer to help, although I don't know if I would let him, but it would be the gesture that would feel the best.
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
1 Mar 07
That's funny, I really need a dish washer It is something about dishes. My mother would make me do the dishes all the time. so that's why I hate doing them, and My husband knows that I hate to do them, I will wash them all up and he will dirty up every dish in the house it makes me so mad. Sometimes I think he does it on purpose.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
3 Mar 07
You get a plus too sweet-heart+
• United States
3 Mar 07
My husband doesn't knowthe meaning of the word housecleaning. Its not in his vocabulary.. I do it all.. I am the maid of the household. He doesn't work. His work is sitting at the computer all day long..
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
9 Mar 07
All day long that's bad tell him to get off==== and help you do something! LOL. have a good day!
@orcanut (146)
• Canada
28 Feb 07
I am thanking God for the wonderful husband that I have. He helps with everything (and he works all day outside the home). I have some physical limitations (I can't lean over to make a bed, for example) and he never complains once. He says if i don't so it the way he likes it then he will do it himself. There should always be compromise in any relationship. If you really hate washing dishes, perhaps you could trade with him for something he doesn't like - like taking out the garbage. You sound like you need a "you" day - a day at the spa, a day to yourself or a day to do whatever. Here's hoping you get it!
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
1 Mar 07
How sweet of you too say that Sweets. that's a good Idea what you said, but really he can't wash the dishes anyway. I always half to wash them over anyway. thank for input!
1 person likes this
@orcanut (146)
• Canada
1 Mar 07
LOL - I feel the same way when my husband tries to load the dishwasher. I always have to reload it (I guess I'm the only one who can fit everything in) or else run it three times a day!
@kurtbiewald (2625)
• United States
12 Mar 07
either I let them stack up for when the housecleaners come, or she nags me to do them. If you count nagging as helping then , yes , my wife helps, 3x today already. We do have a dishwasher so it isn't really that big a job.
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
12 Mar 07
That's what I need a dishwasher.
@Missell (45)
• United States
12 Mar 07
My husband won't wash dish because it will made his hand itch. I told him use gloves but he won't do it. Only thing he will help me clean living room like three times month. I am so sick of wash dishes but that part of life I guess.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
12 Mar 07
They need to buy us a dishwasher. If I lived on my own, I would use paper plates and cups. I really would, no joke.