Should a 32 year-old-man date a 12 year old girl?

Man and girl dating with 20 year difference. - Sometimes people just date younger people, under 18. I am not sure why.
@callarse1 (4787)
United States
February 28, 2007 9:58am CST
Okay, let me give you some background to this. There is this website where people can "confess" (in Spanish) about their lives. One person wrote that he loved this 12 year old girl, but they had twenty-years difference, so that makes him 32 years old. I was so shocked, so I wrote a comment. I told him he should allow her to reach 18 years old and if she still loved him then they should marry. He replied to my comment to say that her parents were fine with him dating her. I was so surprised. How can someone allow their child to date a 32 year old man? Should parents be allowed to do that? Should a 32 year old man date a 12 year old girl? Shouldn't 12 year olds be worried about school and their hobbies rather than dating? Let's discuss and if you want me to pass suggestions on to the man I can do that for you. Pablo
24 people like this
135 responses
28 Feb 07
Thats just sick!! It's peadophilia, the guy who is dating the girl should be locked up and and her parents should be given lessons on how to react with their 12 year old daughter bringing home 32 year old men home because they "love" each other, i mean a 12 year old girl loves every boy she sees believe me i know this from having a 12 year old sister who has dated every guy in her school. But yea that girl should be seperated from the guy she is "dating" and be straightened out.
3 people like this
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Those parents should be shot and this man needs to rethink is priorities. This is a child and not a women. I know back in the day spanish women married early. As early as 13 and 14 but not in the present day and age. That was also to somebody that wasn't much older than they were because it was believed that they should marry earlier. This man is just a perv. in disguise and should leave this little girl alone. This little girl has no idea what real love is as far as relationships. She hasn't even grown up yet to experience anything. As fas I am concerned he is a pedophile and should be treated as such and the parents should see that.
3 people like this
@emskoneko (806)
• United States
28 Feb 07
It could be possible that the girl's family wants to marry into his money and/or status. I don't think his relationship is right with that girl. I agree that he should wait till she is 18 and then they can both decide if they really are in love. The man might have feelings for her youth and the girl might be less experienced with older guys. So the passing time should make things much more clear to them both.
2 people like this
@callarse1 (4787)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I agree with you emskoneko because I think the girl's parents are poor and they know that he has lots of money. They want her daughter to date him for his money. I just cannot understand how her parents can allow it, but perhaps it is money? Pablo
1 person likes this
• India
28 Feb 07
THE whole thing dosent make sense at all to me.
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
28 Feb 07
Which state in the USA do you live in. In most states, if not all, it would be statutory rape if this guy entered into an intimate relationship with the girl. I doubt, that he would be interested in a platonic relationship at his age. He told you her parents would be o.k. with him dating the girl. How do you know, he is not lying? In any case the guy is playing with fire.
@callarse1 (4787)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I'm from Ohio, but as the website is from Argentina, I think the guy is from Argentina. I have seen cases before where the parents permitted that their young daughter date an older man and the parents got in trouble. Therefore I think it is the parents fault for allowing their daughter to see an older man.
1 person likes this
• Canada
28 Feb 07
Oh absolutely, it is the parents fault.
1 person likes this
@junior07 (972)
• India
28 Feb 07
i don't know the guy is from which country? becoz i think in some poor country's people allow there child to get married to the person which is much older then their own child.
@callarse1 (4787)
• United States
28 Feb 07
He is from Argentina and to my knowledge they aren't a poor country at all ;). Pablo
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 07
that is so not right on so many levels!! i would have had that man arrested and sent to jail for a long time. your right a 12 year old needs to focuse on her studies, sports, friends, ect.... she isnt even old enough to have a job!!! my advice to that man, stay away from that girl.......unless he wants to end up in jail for a few years! he would also be a predotor.
2 people like this
@Bangalorean (1282)
• India
1 Mar 07
I am bluntly against this relation or dating. As the girl has just entered into the true world may be infatuated now. She may not be in a position to understand, whatz good for her and whatz not. The man who is already 32 should have understood this basic. Anyway I feel its morally wrong. Rest up to them to decide
2 people like this
@jo0911 (135)
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
when you love someone, you do not consider who he / she is. And there is no exact and very hard to explain reason why do people love. Meaning, when you love someone, you do not love him / her based on his /her height, skin tone, and physical appearance which involves the age. Age does not matter when it comes to love. contrary to that,all i can say is that parents must teach their children the right manners. Let the children enjoy their lives as young ones. Teach good manners one at a time.
2 people like this
• United Arab Emirates
28 Feb 07
That doesn't make sence at all!!! I think that, this man is psycho and about her parents I can't finding the suitable sentences to say about! The girl is still too young even her physical body is still growing and there is much time to say that she is became mature.
• India
28 Feb 07
hi there this is really shocking.I wud rather say that man should be equal to her father.can u imagine 20yr difference.Omg.Moreover what i feel it this cud be a prank too.how can a parents allow a 12yr old to date a 32yr male..Thts impossible.If still you feel this exist.Then the female might be confused with what she is doing.i feel he shouldnt disturb her nymore n wait till he gets someone good
2 people like this
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I agree with Jimbo. This guy should be in jail. The parents should too. That is just sick.
2 people like this
• Germany
28 Feb 07
No, I think there is too much of an age difference. Im sure he can find somebody else to love. That guy is old enough to be her father.
2 people like this
@simplysue (631)
• United States
28 Feb 07
In our culture it isn't ok. It's illegal. I don't know what culture these two people come from so it may be a normal practice. When you stop and think about it, two hundred years ago it was not uncommon for children to marry. I'm not saying that I think it's ok. I think it's insane personally, however I must admit that there are a lot of different cultures out there that I don't know anything about. I know for a fact that even if it was normal for a child to get married in our country that my daughter(if I had one) would marry someone closer to her own age. Maybe the parents line of thought is that their daughter would have a better life with a man who has lived longer and has more financially to offer her? Wow, this is very strange to me that a parent would consider allowing this but at the same time.....who am I to judge what I don't understand?
2 people like this
@nowment (1758)
• United States
28 Feb 07
While I agree that some children are more mature than others, this young girl is only 12 no matter how mature she may be, and that issue has not even been mentioned, how could she possibly have any real idea as to who she is going to spend the rest of her life with, also how far has this dating gone? Is this man so in love with this girl that he is willing to remain celibate until she is old enough to make a truly informed decision concerning physical intmacy? If he is drawn to this young girl I then have to wonder is he a pedofile what happens when she is older will he no longer love her? I do not know how the girls parents can be so accepting of the situation, granted they may be seemingly accepting in order to monitor the situation rather than have the girl sneak out with out their knowledge but even so there is still to great a risk to this child. What also does this say about her personal development, her mental and emotional development that would normally evolve over years, as she grows isn't it possilbe that due this his involvement with her she will not be able to make an informed clear choice when she is say 18? I have heard of cases where a man in say his 20's or even 30 was interested in a young person perhaps became attracted to while they were young, by young I mean teens. as in 15, 16, and they felt that they should just offer friendship not let their own feelings be known until the person they cared for had a chance to be enjoy being a kid, and grow up to know their own minds and so waited until that "kid" was out of college, then the when the younger person was 22 that 10 to 18 year age difference didn't really seem to be an issue. Both have live some kind of life, while the younger persons experiences in life were shorter they could look at and go into the relationship with the maturity and experience of an adult. Not as a child who was programed to go into that relationship. If he really loves this girl, then he will back off, let her grow up, remain friends with her parents so he can be in touch at times, send her birthday gifts, but he needs to back off and let her enjoy being a child, then a teen, and then when she is 18 to 22 he can come into her life both will have the experience of the 6 to 10 years to let them both make better informed choices. At 12 surely it is easier to manipulate her choices than if she were older. That can't be healthy for her.
1 person likes this
@rhea_lyn (199)
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
Well,12 Years old is too young for that.lol,Maby 18 it will be okey but 12 gosh!!!too young,Sometimes parents need guide their child about that thinhgs.
2 people like this
@nowment (1758)
• United States
1 Mar 07
which is my point, that at 12 she is being used and manipulated how can she make informed choices when she doesn't know what is going on, this guy needs to step back and wait until she is 18 or better still 22 and has had some kind of real life.
1 person likes this
@FrancyDafne (2048)
• Italy
9 Mar 07
I'm not shocked when I hear news like this because unfotunately they happen in the whole world.... I don't think that this could be a good relationship becaose the girl is too young and twenty years of difference are too many. The world of a young girl is too different from the world of an old man. The fault is always of the parents, they have the duty to educate their kids in the best way and what you tell me is absolutely disgusting. To me it's superfluous to speak with that man, because every mature man should refuse relationships with teen agers, if he did it, he liked it and so you waste your time if you tell him that he is wrong. I'm very sorry for the teen agers, they have no one who protect them.
@callarse1 (4787)
• United States
10 Mar 07
Yea, I have to agree with you on what you said. The parents have a responsibility to their children. Have a nice day. Pablo
@Slashher (117)
• Denmark
7 Mar 07
You sure he wasn't arab?
1 person likes this
@callarse1 (4787)
• United States
8 Mar 07
Well if he was he was writing in Spanish very good ;). Pablo
@carlysle (271)
• Philippines
4 Mar 07
i think anywhere in the world that would be illegal (i hope so).. a 12 year old has a lot of growing up to do rather than date someone so old..(sorry) but it really is difficult to understand... that is scary... i dont think i can even date someone 10 years older than i am and im 26.. much more date some 20 yrs my senior when im only 12!!!
1 person likes this
@callarse1 (4787)
• United States
7 Mar 07
I wish I knew these people personally. Perhaps they really do love each other and the parents want them to get married in the future, I am not sure. The age difference is big so they will have to deal with it :D
@MrsSgtB (289)
• United States
1 Mar 07
I think it is completely wrong. It is one thing if she was 20 yrs old plus but 12 yrs old. No way. That girl should be playing with barbies and or wanting to go to the mall with friends. I think making her grow up faster then she should is not right. Why rush her to grow up? Let her be a kid!
@callarse1 (4787)
• United States
2 Mar 07
Yes, I was thinking the same thing as well!
• United States
1 Mar 07
Why have you not reported this to the authorities yet? There is a child that needs protected, period.
1 person likes this
@callarse1 (4787)
• United States
1 Mar 07
Yes you are righ, it is child abuse, but I am shocked that the parents of the girl agrees to it :O Pablo
• Pakistan
1 Mar 07
i really think not. but if the girl wants it than i guess that yeah. its up to the girl to do it
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 07
Do you think a 12 year old girl is capable of making such a decision? I don't think this is a matter of what the girl wants, it should be a matter of what is best for her, as a child, which is what she is.
1 person likes this