Help Me!!! I lost my friend today.

United States
March 1, 2007 10:11pm CST
While I was in the middle of working I found out that one of my best friends died this morning. I completely devestated. I don't know what to do. I'm so upset about it. I loved her so much. She was so sweet. Why would she decide to take her own life? I need some help pulling myself out of this rut. Please if you have any advice tell me. I can't get the memories to stop running through my head and making me cry.
9 people like this
38 responses
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
2 Mar 07
I am so very sorry to hear about your friend. How old was she? I have often thought about leaving this world too but something keeps me here. I'm so sorry that she couldn't stay around with you longer. Everything seems to be so hard for alot of people and they just do not see any other alternative for themselves. I hope God understands why she did what she did and he will lay his hand upon her and take her home. It is okay for you to keep thinking of all of the good times you have had together. Those will be the best memories for you for a lifetime. I have lost alot of people in my life too, and I try to think about all of the good times we had together. I also know they are in a much better place. I hope you can heal and you and her family is in my thoughts and my prayers.
• Canada
2 Mar 07
I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend but wanted to tell you that your friend probably loved you very much but if she took her own life she was suffering from depression . There are so many people that suffer from this disease and don't go for help for fear of what family and friends would think . The disease makes them paranoid and causes them more fears and in the end like any other diesease it takes hold of there life if not treated . She didn't do this to hurt you ( although you are definitley entilted to be hurt ) and with time it will become a bit easier on you .She would have been in so much pain but instead of a pain we feel when we cut ourselves it was a pain in her heart and soul that she couldn't make go away . It is sad that people don't know enough about the depression or look at it as though a person is crazy and for this reason there are so many people being left unchecked running around with it and you would never know this unless they told you . Try to remember your friend as you knew her and what a loving and kind person she was . All the best and I hope somehow I was able to explain this to you enough so you will know that your friend did love you also just didn't know how to ask for help and this is no one's fault , it is the fault of the disease and the fact that there are not enough people aware of what it does to your mind .
2 people like this
• Canada
2 Mar 07
I am sure you did not fail her in any way. I am sure she loved you and counted on you a lot. The depth of the pain in her life was more than what any one person was capable of fixing. Please don't blame yourself ... when you think those things, remind yourself that you were a good friend to her, and did everything you could.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Mar 07
Everyone has given me such great advice and yes yours does help. She did try to ask for help and that makes it worse. I tryed telling her how much she had to live for. I feel like I failed her in some way. I wish I had gotten through to her sooner. At least I know she's happy know and she's in god's good care.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Mar 07
You're very right. At least I tried to help her. I'm just having a hard time letting go.
• United States
2 Mar 07
I am terribly sorry for your loss dear. There are no words of comfort or what you can do. You are greiving, and that is natural. I will only say that time is the healer of such devistating pain. So, take it a day at a time. I pray you will be comforted.
2 people like this
@Mamaof2 (574)
• Canada
2 Mar 07
This is going to hurt you no matter what anyone says to you...you are only human. All I can say is keep your head up high and make the best of it. You will be devistated for a long time but just remember all the good memories you have had with your friend. Take care and sorry to hear about your loss.
2 people like this
@worthy (2413)
• India
2 Mar 07
My friend,truth is stranger than fiction.She looked sweet but might be having bitter circumstances. Anyway whatever has happened has happened and no amount of reasoning is going to bring her back.So,just try to reconcile to this fact and pray for her soul's peace. The beautiful memories are yours to keep forever and that can not be lost.So your friend is still with you in your fond memories. I would also suggest you to go out ,get busy with some work and avoid loneliness for a few days.This will keep you away from your painful thoughts. Plus we all are here to keep you company. So,log in everyday and interact with us :)
• United States
2 Mar 07
Your advice is exactly what I did. Right after I posted this discussion I decided to go to a friend's house and have some ice cream and it helped me soooo much. Of course I'm still really down about it and I'm having trouble replying to my responses because I'm too upset to think but it helped me so much. Tomorrows is not going to be as easy though.
3 people like this
@worthy (2413)
• India
2 Mar 07
I agree that it is going to take a long time.The void that her loss has created is hard to fill.But just as a wound pains much less when it heals,your anguish will diminish too. I am happy that you felt nice by going out and having an ice cream.Just make it a point to try out all the flavors in the coming week.Lol.I think its a great idea.After a week,you tell us which new flavor you liked the best. I know you are smiling and see, how lovely you look :o)
2 people like this
• United States
2 Mar 07
lol wow I really was smiling when I read that. Ice cream and yogurt are my comfort foods. I'll let you know my favorite flavor next week lol.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Mar 07
i think you need to go to her and accept that she's gone. peace comes after acceptance. it is only time that makes you heal that trauma. if you have a religion, try to pray and seek for peace
2 people like this
• South Africa
2 Mar 07
please don't tell her to do that. please remember the memories and the love she gave you and the love that she gave you in return. heal though. please don't beat yourself about it.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Mar 07
Im very sorry to hear that.. it was so sad.. try to go to Church and cry yourself out while praying for her... or talk to your friends or parents / sitsters and tell them how you feel..that helps..
2 people like this
• Philippines
2 Mar 07
There's nothing you can do right now but to accept her fate. It's her own choice to take her own life then she might have a reason for it. All you can do right now is to cherish all her memories that you shared together. Time will heal your wounds don't worry it will pass.
@dopey22girl (3319)
• United States
2 Mar 07
I am SO sorry! I cannot even imagine what you are going through; as it is something I have never had to go through. I don't know why she took her own life, and probably nobody knows. A lot of people have depression in their life that they choose not to share with others because they don't like talking about it, or don't want to worry other people. Since you just found it out this morning, you can't expect to be ok right away. It is going to take some time, and it is good to cry; you need that. Perhaps counseling would benefit you.
2 people like this
@mobyfriend (1017)
• Netherlands
2 Mar 07
Give yourself time to mourn however long that takes. The wound now is too fresh. If you can be there for her family. Write down what you feel. I can understand how devastated you are. You need time to heal. You will never forget her. I suggest that you to with good friends and family now. People who can throw their arms around you. Take care.
2 people like this
@dbeast (1495)
• India
2 Mar 07
i am sorry for your loss.i know what you are going through .i had gone through the same thing as you are doing right now.i know i am still hurt from what has happened because my he was all that i am now.he taught me what i should be and how i should live my life.i loved him so much and all of a sudden he was gne.i was in college when i got the news.i never felt like speaking to anyone for almost a month.i cried and cried because everywhere i went,everything i did reminded me of him.trust me you need to have time with yourself.it does take time to heal but the memories can hurt a lot.take care buddy.sorry again.
2 people like this
• Canada
2 Mar 07
I know who it feels to lose someone you love. For the first little while, you will not be able to think of anything but then time you shared and the things she will miss, however once the shock of it eases you'll be able to past it slowly but surely. Try not to burden yourself too much with what could have been and instead remember her as she was. Remember the vibrancy in her, you know all the things that drew you both together. She may not be here physically but she is always in your heart. I only wish there was something more i could say that would ease your pain, but the only thing that will do that is time.
2 people like this
• India
2 Mar 07
friend it sad to know that your dear friend is far from your life without even knowing what you was expecting from the next day.it also happened with me.its a shocking time,but u will not find any one to console yourself, but i would wish u best f luck for recovery,who ever u meet try to be cheerful without expressing your grief.. this will make you happy when your friends are happy.
2 people like this
@Savvynlady (3684)
• United States
2 Mar 07
Good Morning, I can understand how you feel. I lost a friend two years ago and it really hurt me as you now feel. My condolences to you. Let me also say to you that it takes one day at a time. If you can be there for the family, be there. If you can do something in her honor, do that. Whatever you can do to get out the feelings do that. It's going to take tears, pain and you may need to write it out, cry it out, pray it out. But keep her memory with you wherever you go. I hope it helps you at this time. I wish you the best.
2 people like this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
2 Mar 07
my deepest condolences for you... i know how it feels to lose the person that you are very close with... you just have to be strong, let her go and get on with your life... i know it will not be easy... hopefully God will give you the strength to pull it through... only time can heal your pain... good luck and take care...
2 people like this
@jhartana (1084)
• Australia
2 Mar 07
I'm sorry to hear your loss. I know how hard for you to lose a friend like her and it's also difficult for you to overcome it. She may have been too much stressed for situations that she could not handle. I think you will need to accept the way it is, there is nothing much you could do. If you're strong enough to accept it I think you better to visit her devastated family and express your condolences. I know you are still thinking of her and she just gone away like that. You will need to find something that will keep you busy to cheer up yourself. Don't think too much about her, she may be sad in heaven looking at your sadness...if you cheer up yourself then she will be happy over there. Let the memories of her gone by and you'll be alright. My condolence for your friend. I hope you can cope it.
• India
2 Mar 07
I can undrstand the way you feel.I have gone through the same phase.My closest friend had passed away so suddenly that i did not get time to react.My friend was not well.I was with him till 10:00 pm in the night.Next morning i was supposed to take him to a doctor but when i woke up next morning,i got the news that my frined had passed away.It's been almost 7 years now since this incident but i still remeber him.There is no short cut to get away from such things.The only best way is time.Time will be best healer.
2 people like this
• India
2 Mar 07
Its very sad to here it. What can one do such situations. Who knows what may happen in the next second. So be brave and once again its sad to here it
2 people like this
• India
2 Mar 07
hiya giggles. its very sadto note about your friend whom you loved so much. may her soul RIP. its not easy to forget or stop memories of departed loved ones. but all i can send you is a big humble and soothing hug to try to control yourself. all that are gone are very good ones, and those who remain are sweet memories of the departed ones. god give your strength to withstand the loss.
2 people like this
@daitya (69)
• India
2 Mar 07
Dear Giggles88, It is very sad to hear you lost your friend.. As Mahatma Gandhi said, you can pray for her, that will relieve your pain and keep you calm.. I will also pray for you.