What drives a Mother to kill her children? I just heard the story on the news

March 3, 2007 7:32am CST
A woman murdered her two young children and then committed suicide. The father came home from work a few hours later to find the bodies. This must have been the worst possible thing he could ever have experienced, and while the story is shocking and tragic it has made me wonder exactly what does drive a mother to kill her children and then kill herself. I am a parent myself and although when my son was younger there were times I felt I simply could not cope with him but to kill your own child??? I am deeply saddened by this news report but what made her do such a dreadful thing? What was she thinking? Why did she do such a dreadful thing?
10 people like this
32 responses
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
3 Mar 07
Unfortunately recycledgoth this is actually a common occurence....more than we know or even care to realize...I came across this site http://members.tripod.com/~leelah/index0.html and as hard as it is to go through and read these stories (and its VERY HARD)..I share this link with ppl as often as possible and hope that at least some go through and read the stories because its very really and ONE OF the key reasons why I get on ppl so much about stepping in when they suspect abuse and not just turn a blind eye.... What causes a caregiver (its not just mothers) to kill their own kids? Unfortunatley there are numerous reasons..I believe one of the obvious and main ones would be severe mental instability/disorders.....Then again I think...ya knwo..I'm certainly not all there mentally and have had some really hard times as a parent especially when I was a junkie but even at my WORST time I could never take the life of my child(ren)...ever....
2 people like this
3 Mar 07
Ravenlady your comments are very valid and insightful. If the mother had mental issues, I wonder why this wasn't picked up before. She must have been in a really really bad way to kill her children, the poor woman
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
3 Mar 07
Sadly I think it goes undetected more often than not because ppl just dont want to get involved in the lives of others even if it means they could be saving a life in one way or another....I really hate to say it but the world we live in as far as I'm concerned has become so cruel and heartless its frightening to think what it will be like when my kids are my age ya know....We've become a society so stuck on "me me me", "more more more" and "give me give me give me" we forget to care almost ya know....Hell I'm 36 yrs old and i have to say that so actually SEE the change happen over the last 20-25 yrs is so depressing... If you really think about it...how many ppl have you heard talk about "so and so" and say things like "theres just somethign not right about him/her and I feel so bad for those kids" but they never do anything about it..its like a fleeting comment then they go about their day ya know....Its scary, its heartwrenching and its not getting any better....
1 person likes this
@teison2 (5924)
• Norway
3 Mar 07
Stories like that really gets to me. I think the people who do these things must be very ill. A parent will usually go to all lengths to protect their children - what makes them want to kill them instead? I think they must be psychologially very ill at the time of the crime. I believe they must somehow think this will be the best solution for the children and themselves. I cannot imagine anyone doing this without honestly thinking it would be the best thing to do. It is so tragic that people do not feel able to ask for help before it comes to this.
2 people like this
3 Mar 07
Thank you for your comment. I can't get the image out of my mind of the father finding his family
1 person likes this
@teison2 (5924)
• Norway
3 Mar 07
I cannot either. It must be the hardest thing to experience ever.
2 people like this
@Garameo (902)
• Germany
4 Mar 07
i´m from germany and i saw on the german news, that a depressed mother has killed her 5 children and after that her self. i think it doesn´t matters to the children. those parents must have extremly problems in life to do that.
4 Mar 07
Thank you for your comments, it is such a sad world
1 person likes this
@MrsSgtB (289)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I wish I had an answer to this because it makes me sick to my stomach that someone can kill their own child. Children are miracles to me. Not everyone can have them and the one's that could care less get pregnant easily. Just doesn't seem fair to me. If you do not want your kids give them up for adoption let them have the best life possible. I am so sick of hearing the stories about woman putting their kid in the oven, another one cooking the kid in the microwave...another one child being tortured because he did not pray hard enough. They are sick individuals that need help.
4 Mar 07
I believe there is little enough help for people in these circumstances, it is always the same though, always comes down to money. I wonder if she had had the help would she have been able to cope better.
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25865)
• Canada
3 Mar 07
Was she suffering from Postpartum depression? That might explain it...even if she wasen't, having 2 young kids at home and being totally housebound can be enough to drive anyone crazy!
4 Mar 07
Thank you for your comment,
1 person likes this
3 Mar 07
Mental issues... whenever I hear stories like this one, I get a chill down my spine and like you I cannot imagine how parents can do that to their own children. What abt the child abuse cases, esp those committed by own parents or family members... those are not much better... and again it fills my heart with horror and greqat sadness. It must be some psychological problems and something that drove the woman to that edge where she would do such a thing. I've heard of similar cases like this one on sufferers of post-natal depression. Whatever the case, however bad something seem... we have to believe that things will work out eventually and there will be a way out. If we close our mind to things... well terrible things will happen such as this one... and imagine the burden of sin you have to carry for murdering your own children. These people need a lot of help and there is often no place or person for them to turn to. Has our society become so v. heartless... do they not know that there are places and NGOs that could at least lend a ear or perhaps a helping hand? I do not know how effective they are... but maybe it's not enough or ppl are just not going to get help from them for some reason. Maybe more public awareness is needed... and most of all more caring people are needed and this world needs more love.
3 Mar 07
" Maybe more public awareness is needed... and most of all more caring people are needed and this world needs more love. " You have just hit the nail squarely on the head and brought perspective.
1 person likes this
@mzbubblie (3840)
• United States
3 Mar 07
You know, just like you, we probably will never know the true real reason why she killed her children and herself. I have a child also and can't even think of him not being in my life. Obviously she was sad, depressed, not sane, and possibly had issues going on we probably, again, never know... It's one of those unsolved mysteries, one can assume, but never know the truth.. That has happened in the DC area, a mother drowning her kids, or a father who killed his son then himself. I just don't understand...It's truly sad all the way around...
3 Mar 07
My Nan once told me that children were the most precious thing anyone could have. I wish I could just understand why this poor mother felt so bad that she had to take their lives. Thank you for your comments, they help a lot.
1 person likes this
• Canada
3 Mar 07
I had read this on the online news, and I too was deeply disturbed and shocked. I guess there are some answers to cases like this that we'll never find out. My personal guess is that she had depression. So so many times when mothers kill their children, it's because they have depression. Not that they don't love their child, they're just completely overwhelmed by the responsibilities that come along with having a child. I cannot imagine what her husband must have though upon finding their bodies. It's something that I just cannot comprehend. My thought and prayers go out to the family at this devastating time.
2 people like this
3 Mar 07
I'm inclined to agree hun, depression can do terrible things to a person's mind. It is sad to think that in this day and age, more is not done to help people duffering from depression and that it takes something like this to bring it into the open. Thank you so much for your comments, they certainly do add much.
1 person likes this
@anirc750310 (3424)
• Romania
3 Mar 07
Well, I guess the person who did it was not in good mental health, probably a mental disorder. Anyway it is regratable when you hear such things, cause sometimes for some people to give birth to a child could be such a hard thing, and they struggle so much, do such enormos efforts to become pregnant and finaly they are satisfied when keep babies in their arms. It's told when you get a thing very easy you can not appreciat it's value, but when you struggle for it then you thought it worth it.It is not a good comparison, but maybe that woman did very well those child, maybe they come unwanted, but anyway you can't do such a thing if you are not a disturbed person. regratable
2 people like this
3 Mar 07
Thank you for your comments, I think she must have been very deeply unhappy to do such a thing
1 person likes this
@ygkchaitu (388)
• India
3 Mar 07
Mother cannot hold the pain of her children. If you ask me, there could have been something else added to this which is the driving factor to creating pain to her children. She couldn't have seen any other way except give them relief from the pain. May be she couldn't have bore that much pain and killed her children. With that she could have no other option other than kill herself having ended her children's lives. Anybody on this planet earth can be selfish, cruel and nasty but mother is all against it and she does everything for her children. She is never bothered of her happiness and comfort. She is happy and comfort if her children are. This is the love of a mother that i have got from my sweet mom. Thank you mom.
@gtpopzz (24)
• United States
3 Mar 07
That is just sad. I don't understand what could drive a person to do something like that. She shouldn't have ever been a mother in the first place. It really doesn't make any sense. Why spend all those years and all that time caring for your children to just one day throw it all away. I know kids can be a pain but seriously she had to have had some major mental problems.
2 people like this
3 Mar 07
I can only hope that the children didn't suffer. thank you for your comments.
1 person likes this
@lisado (1230)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I have no idea. I have wondered about the same thing. The woman that killed her sons because she had a new boyfriend and he didn't want kids really gagged me. My sons mean the world to me and I can't imagine anything happening to them, much less by my own hand. I wonder if they had had a fight or something? I can't imaging the horror he felt when he found them and he is probably going to blame himself even if there was nothing he could have done - if there were no clues. Hind sight is 20/20 but sometimes there are just no signs. :*(
2 people like this
3 Mar 07
You make a very valid point here hun, and yes hind sight really is 20:20 vision. My son is the most precious thing in the world, and while he pushed me to the limits on occasion I could never imagine harming him. I expect there will be more details in time, and many theories too
1 person likes this
@kavi112 (232)
• India
3 Mar 07
thats seriously very strange.but sure must be reason for this act.since no mom can ever even imagine such a thing to her child, the reason for driving this lady to do this sin must be large enough.so there is no point in cursing the lady without enough info..
3 Mar 07
I am not cursing this lady, just trying to understand why she would do such a thing to her own children
1 person likes this
@earthsong (589)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I remember a few years back when a mother of five or six children systematically killed them each by drowning them in the tub. The declared her mentally incompetent, but you have to be pretty determined to do that over and over, and some of the kids were older and fought her. I know we all have times when our kids are driving us insane and all we want to do it run and hide. But to actually be capable of hurting one of my kids, especially in that manner, is probably beyond most mothers.
2 people like this
3 Mar 07
I guess more information will cme out when the investigation is run, right now it's just so hard to understand. thanks for your words hun
1 person likes this
• Canada
3 Mar 07
Stories like that really get to me and hurt my heart. As a mother I could never imagine killing my child or harming her in any way, shape, or form. The mother is extremely sick, and now the father will be scared for life. No matter how hard he tries, he will never get those images out of his head. My heart goes out to him and his family.
2 people like this
3 Mar 07
Thank you for your words hun
2 people like this
• Ireland
3 Mar 07
I missed the news this morning so your topic was the first I have heard of it. I am just wondering if the father had known that his wife could not cope. Surely there must have been some signs there. I still feel sad for him as even if he had noticed something, this must have been a great shock to him. I can't see how he will ever get over it...the poor man. I cannot understand anybody killing their own flesh and blood.
2 people like this
3 Mar 07
I have just come off the phone after talking to a friend of mine, she is also upset about this. She mentioned that she wondered if the husband had actually realised that his wife was so upset, I don't suppose we will ever know but for now all I can think about is those poor children. thanks for your words hun
1 person likes this
@kgwat70 (13395)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I think it is horrible when a mother or father does this to their children and themselves. I think something was psychologically wrong with her which caused this to happen. It is possible the children or the father were getting on her nerves and maybe this was a way to get back at the father. If a parent can not handle or does not want their children, they should put them up for adoption so that the children can have parents that will love and treat them great. Nobody will know for sure what went through her head at the time but it sad to hear this.
3 Mar 07
Thank you for your comment, I wonder what pushed her to such a dreadful act.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
4 Mar 07
Everyone experiences stress, from toddlers to mothers, fathers, siblings, older folks etc... Whatever it was that caused parents to do inhuman things to their children and themselves just point to the severity of such offenses. There should be public awareness of personal stress symptoms via forums, talks, educational flyers, etc, to bring awareness to everyone about symptoms they may experience or know of someone with these symptoms. They shoud have hotlines people can access if they are on the verge of a breakdown, and if they are aware of their symptoms. People under severe stress sometimes don't talk to anyone about their situations. That is why it is so crucial to have notices of helplines or places they can go to, openly publicised, so people can still call and deal with their situation in absolute privacy. I'm sorry I'm not answering your original question. But I just felt led to spread this message, so that you or anyone may suggest to the government to set up call lines for those who need 'help' of a psychological kind but who don't know where to go to or who are financially strapped. At least the government should serve as some sort of 'clearing house' for people like this, so a hotline may be their first point of contact, to a psychologist or a social worker who can work some things out at least for the short term.
2 people like this
• United States
4 Mar 07
Post Partum Psycosis is what its termed at. When the mother goes leagely insade and generally does something like this. VERY VERY few people get away with this. Very few people actually get this. Its a very rare form of post partum depression in which the mother no longer is capeable of thinking properly, She is actually insane. There are alot of warning signs along the way to this path, however most of them are brushed off as the typical baby blues, or still commen post partum depression ( which i suffered through ) Although it can be medicated i dont think you can actually fully recover. Its a terrible thing... and she probably wasnt thinking at all, or if she was... her thought process was very muddled.
2 people like this
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
4 Mar 07
Ive heard this story and you are right it is truely sickening. All i can say is that in my humble opinion she was suffering such a terrible mental condition that all rational thought had long since left her. In this situation, the usual rules do not apply and any event is possible. Im afraid it is just one of the terrible consequences of un diagnosed, and therefore untreated, mental illness. Blessed be
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