do you hug in your family?

@stailgate (2363)
United States
March 6, 2007 6:33pm CST
do you hug in your family? My never did, and still does not. I got my first real hug when I started dateing and his parents hugged. We go to chuch and my mom refuses to hug or shake hands with the minister or anyone else. She just does not agree with it. When I ask her why she never gave us hugs she said that she just didn't, that's her choice. I hug and kiss my kids all the time, and hug just about everyone I greet. How do you feel about this?
15 people like this
60 responses
@Stringbean (1273)
• United States
7 Mar 07
If you are raised in a family that does not show physical affection, it is sometimes very hard to express your own feelings in that way. That does not mean that your mother does not love you just as much as other kids' mothers love them. I cannot remember my Mother hugging me, but I felt her love, just from things she said to me and things she did for me. We just have to accept each person the way they are.
@stailgate (2363)
• United States
7 Mar 07
you are so right. i know my mom loves me very much.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Mar 07
we always hugged in our family and there was lots of us
4 people like this
• United States
7 Mar 07
We didn't hug or kiss in my family growing up. The first time I met my best friends mother she came and gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek, I stiffend like a board. I didn't know what to do. But after getting to know her family and seeing how loveing they are to each other I came to like the affection. And now that I have my own family I make sure there are hugs and kisses everyday.
3 people like this
@stailgate (2363)
• United States
7 Mar 07
it is a wonderful feeling isn't it?
1 person likes this
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
7 Mar 07
We hug all the time, as I get older I hug more =) I will hug someone I just met if it feels right...we all need a hug sometimes!!
2 people like this
@ChewySpree (1832)
• United States
7 Mar 07
We never did hug when I was growing up (my mother did when we were little, but as we got older we stopped), but I never felt unloved. Now that we're adults, we do hug - all of us, my dad, mom, brother, and me, when we say goodbye. I'm glad we do now.
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25552)
• United States
7 Mar 07
that's good we should show everyone love.
@Glaeken (109)
• United States
7 Mar 07
Touch is an important part of development. Mothers who do not touch their children with affection, from anything to hugs to just hands on shoulders, it can lead to infant mortality or a severely disaffected child. It's a very real realm of physical and psychological development and there is science to it. It's so important, it can even decide the difference in a good doctor or a bad doctor. Just the small bit of physical touch can make a patient that much more open and the doctor more connected to them. Good professional standards. As for myself, I was barely hugged by my father, but he did back scratching and the shoulder carrying. My mom always hugged me, but at a certain point it stopped. Nothing severe, I was just getting older. But we don't hug or touch that much at all, and if we do it's me initiating to try and rectify the situation when I happen to think about it. I was lacking in the being told I was loved part of the parenting thing, so I have my issues. And as for strangers or kith? I've started hugging one of my better male friends when we haven't seen eachother, but I don't hug anyone else. It's good that you aren't continuing the cycle of neglect your mom may have fostered when raising you. You're actually aware of the issue and making sure to keep physical touch with your kids. Keep it up.
1 person likes this
• Romania
7 Mar 07
Hug is like a second air in my family. I specially love to hug my friends, family everyone that I love. It makes me happy to feel somebody near me and hugging is what keeps me alive. Sorry to hear about your situation at least you have your children the the people around you.
1 person likes this
@JuliaPan (564)
• Canada
7 Mar 07
It depends on the country you live in and the society. In my family and with my friends we do not hug, but we shake hands (not always though) and kiss on a cheek. If someone congratulates me for example on some occasion like birthday, then we may hug. When I was in the US I was a little bit shocked seeing that people hug and kiss absolutely strange people. But it also depends on people and situations of course.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Mar 07
Of course, it's great to get a hug! I grew up getting a log of hugs from members of my family. it makes us closer to each other and feel wanted. Somehow getting a hug gives you warmth and a feeling of being loved. You are perfectly right in giving your children a lot of hugs. Psychologists say that children who get lots of hugs and kisses grow up more normal and more stable in their emotions. So, go ahead, keep on giving those hugs!
@vkbllm (474)
• India
7 Mar 07
Hi to you... Well there is no problem to me in hugging. By hugging you display your love and affection to all your loved ones, so it doesnt matter to me at all! Some people have offword feeling, I never found out the reason for that yet! Its nice you hug your family, it is really nice, keep doing that! Good!
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
7 Mar 07
my hug is only reserved for the people so close to my heart. my parents, my brothers, cousins, basically, my relatives and ofcourse, my boyfriend. i am not like others who hug even those who aren't close to them. when asked why, i just don't know. i just feel like i wanna reserve my hugs to those only so close to me. i show respect to other people by just smiling and nodding and talking to them but never my hugs. i hug my parents everyday as if it is my last day on earth. whenever i am with them, i try to make the best out of each day for i don't know when will i still be here. if ever i am going to be with my boyfriend already, i will surely give him my everyday hugs... it's important to share such wonderful moments with the people we love... like making the most out of each day.
1 person likes this
@kathy77 (7487)
• Australia
7 Mar 07
Hi, oh yes we hug in my family I believe that everyone should show affection to their family members, oh you missed out a lot of affection from your mother not hugging you I feel so bad for you, but then my mother's mother never did this either asn one day I said to my mother why don't you give Dad a hug and from that day until my mother passed away she would also give Dad a hug I felt so happy that I had told her this.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (61149)
• United States
7 Mar 07
We are not a huggy or kissy family either. I like to hug well enough, but not everybody, that old family standoffishness gets me with strangers and people I don't know/care that much about.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Mar 07
We're the same. My mother was never showy of her affections to us. The first hug and kiss that was given me was from a relative who visited us. I was of course very uncomfortable at the time. I think this is also the reason why I'm not comfortable with intimacy up to now, although I can hug (but not kiss) a friend, in the form of a greeting only.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Mar 07
yes I always hug my family.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 07
I think one of the many reasons why america is getting so violent is because they aren't getting any affection or love from their families. I very rarely get hugs from my family.When my mom was alive,we used to hug each other but not to much from the rest. I have never gotten any emotional support from them at all.
• United States
8 Mar 07
Yea we hug in my family. Everytime I see them I hug them. Since I live out of town it's not like I see them everyday. My ex boyfriends family was a big hugging family. I shook peoples hands in church as well. That's different that she didn't agree with it, but everyone has their own way. I think it's good that you hug and kiss your kiss because that is showing them a lot of love.
• United States
7 Mar 07
Growing up my parents hugged very infrequent. My mom says it's because her her mom and dad were not huggers or very emotional people. So, I guess it rubbed off on her. Now, that I am grown she hugs more but not as much as I would like. My dad hugged me back in 96 after my son passed. I don't like to hug unless necc. But i have no problem hugging my nephews and neices.
@greengal (4286)
• United States
7 Mar 07
We hug all the time, even close friends. I think it is a wonderful feeling and a pity your mom doesn't do it. I don't see why hugging can be wrong. It's another way of expressing your affection and happiness. to be associated with the other. I hug my mom and dad a lot and even my bro. The rest of the family when we meet ocassionally..
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
7 Mar 07
we hug in our families and when we greet someone , or when our company leaves we still hugs. Hugs make me feel good and cared for.