Broken hearts...

India
March 11, 2007 10:04am CST
I had my most forgetful day of my life last week. And to make it worse, it was my birthday. I had invited only my four best friends for the bash. I don't know how it happened, but some silly little quarrel grew into a big fight and now we are divided into groups. I am so sad, they were my best friends, I tried to patch up but it seems they are really cross with each other. I am really feeling let down, everyone was envoius of our group, now it is no more. Why it happens always to me?
8 people like this
25 responses
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
You will know if your frienship is true or not through the existence of conflicts. Ironic, i should say,but conflicts in circle of friends is healthy. conflicts, misundertandings in a group really happens... because even if you belong to a group, there are personal boundaries that should be respected, individual differences that is. Strong friendship usually mends if given the effort and cooperation of the people in it in restoring it. if the friendship is so important to just fade away eveyone should find a way in having it back.. patience my friend
• India
12 Mar 07
I already patched up with 2 of them, in fact, one of them was always with me, and another one also came and patched up with me, but the other two, who are thick friends are not ready to talk with me.
• India
8 Apr 07
hey dats not true
1 person likes this
@sherie (66)
• United States
12 Mar 07
This is one reason I no longer have friends, they just cause pain. I've been through enough pain and hell in my life, I'd rather be alone than risk giving another back-stabbing liar the chance to cause me even more. Learn this lesson, and consider yourself lucky to have learned it.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Apr 07
Even I would not risk having any more friends, but this is solely because my character might be flawed. I completely respect my friends and they would have some solid reason to do this to me. So I would agree with you when you said all friends are "back-stabbing liars", at least mine are not.
• India
12 Mar 07
sad thing to happen on ur b'day!!..i dono wt was da reason 4 da clash..nor do i know who started it...but i seriously dont think it should be anything serious..well..whoever is responsible 4 da fight..they must apologize..ok..u tried speakin n it didnt work out..u can try again..it seems they're all hurt and angry..it'll reside in some time... dont worry..such things do happen..but tis sad to hear that the 4 of u are divided into groups..perhaps..its not permanent..dont worry..thing'ss work out fine..try talkin to everyone again...am sure they'll understand as time passes by...cheers:):)
1 person likes this
• India
8 Apr 07
As I have already said, the one thing that really hurts is that, it seems my friends believe, they don't owe me an explanation, or they don't have to give me an explanation. So it would be unfair to try to get in between them for my own selfish happiness. If they hate me, I would better back off. Rather than selfishly getting and forcing them onto a compromise and putting them in a difficult position.
@eshuniki (132)
• India
12 Mar 07
Sorry to hear that,But u must know that true friends never just let anyone go.Its up to u to bring them back if u want their friendship back in ur life.But its also better to give them some time to let their wounds heal,it might take some time but sooner or later they will know the true value of being together.Dont lose hope and keep trying to bring them back together. Hey a belated happy birthday to u.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Apr 07
I think it is unfair to push them too hard to accept me as friend. I would be becoming to selfish if I do that. If they really hate me, they should have some reason and respect their reasoning, whatever that maybe. So, I won't force them onto a relationship. I might have some flaw in me that is keeping them off from me.
@kgwat70 (13392)
• United States
12 Mar 07
I am sorry to hear that you and your best friends are not getting along with each other. I am sure in time that the five of you will get back together again and start talking and work things out. Just give it some time. What started the quarrel? I think all of you should sit down and talk about it again, if possible. I would not end a friendship over one quarrel.
• India
8 Apr 07
Ironically, I am myself searching for a reason myself. To say the least, I can't find any valid reason on why they are so cross with me. I have always done my duty as a friend. But, maybe that was not enough.
@ratnapro (106)
• India
12 Mar 07
Very sorry to hear this! I think you should not give up on your friends. Keep trying and GOD will help you.
1 person likes this
• India
12 Mar 07
Who am I to give up? But one thing I realized is that no relationship will go well on compromises. It is impossible, only if you have a full hearted relation, you should go forward.
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
12 Mar 07
When you are in a group where everyone was envious, I can say it is really on cloud nine. It happens to me many times. It has been said familiarity breeds contempt. I hope this is not the case :P Friends do fight and quarrel, and it is often thru such that we can get to know and understand them more. Each person has different tolerance threshold and it is thru this "test" that friendships make or break. Perhaps what is needed is a cooling period for everyone. How about taking the initiative to celebrate someone's birthday?
• India
12 Mar 07
Don't talk anymore about birthdays. It was my birthday that caused all these troubles. I wonder why I ever decided to celebrate my birthday. I am feeling so sorry.
• United States
12 Mar 07
Give them a call and ask them is there new group as good as the previos and from that answer you should know if they miss there old group too!
1 person likes this
• India
12 Mar 07
there is no new group here. Only old memories and sad thoughts, I called all of them, but all of them have changed a lot. all have mentally moved so far.
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
i had the most forgetful time of my life and the most heartbreaker is last christmas here in the philippines. on where my neighbors around us is very happy celebrating it. while with my family just looking at them tearfully. because we had no any money to buy jsut a bread and hot chocolate to celebrate.
1 person likes this
• India
12 Mar 07
I know how hard it is without money, I have faced it many times, even now I am facing it. But when you lose all the support and warmth it is the most painful.
@bindishah (2062)
• India
12 Mar 07
Just give everybody some time to cool down. Maybe after a week, they will realize that the argument was silly and that your friendship is above all this. After a week, you can plan to get all your friends together in one place to talk over things again. im sure you guys will be back together.
1 person likes this
• India
12 Mar 07
I cooled down long back, and even though I was not involved, I begged sorry to each of them. But, I don't think that changed their minds, I am slowly losing hope.
@greengal (4286)
• United States
12 Mar 07
That is sad cultoffury, maybe you should try talking to them again. Where there is love and closeness, there are fights and misunderstandings too. Sometimes we come across such situations in life and we are at a loss for what to do. Give it sometime, I'm sure if they are your best friends things will come back to normal. Let them cool off, give them time to think and you do so yourself too. That will help understand the situation better and you can get back to being the best pals you were before. Don't let such things depress you, I know it is disheartening but you should find a solution rather than being sad about it.
1 person likes this
• India
12 Mar 07
I tried everything and I went down to earth and accepted every mistake they charged me with, but still when they say, "It's ok for what happened. But I can't see you the way I used to..." It really hurts.
• China
12 Mar 07
You five are good friends first ?? Why now make you four divided into groups . Do you know the reason why they other four quareeled each other . I think if you know the reason .then just can know who is right and who is wrong .it seems that really a very big problem. but just be friends of they four ,as from beginging you five are best friends .I think if you five are really best friends .no matter what happened ,wonot affect your friendship .maybe there exist some problems from begining .What can I say is just come on !!try your best to lightening the fighting.
1 person likes this
• India
12 Mar 07
Yes, the reason was silly. But the mud slinging that followed was really unbearable, so even if we realize that we fought for nothing, it would be in their mind that we blamed each other, it takes time to get over it.
• India
12 Mar 07
Don't worry buddy. You ain't alone facing difficulties in life, but still lets just keep mine aside for some time else. I would just like to advice you that do not worry this much, everything will be fine. Oe thing that ou should do is do not break off from any of them for any single person and try to be neutral. And also that you try to always remind them of happy days you had together and that will surely help. Soon the friends will start missing each other and then you should be there to asure that all the groups say sorry to each other and shake hands. Take Care May GOD Bles YOU
1 person likes this
• India
12 Mar 07
I would love to act neutral and I was not the centre of quarrel too. But the thing, when you feel someone is wrong and someone is right you ought to react and support the right person, that is my policy. Maybe that cost me the friends.
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
The four of you are the only one that can solve your grudges. If the four of you valued your friendship then you are going to fix your friendhip. I think one misunderstanding is not the reason to end your friendship. You can initiate the meeting of your friends again so that you can be together again. Just don't be sad that it happen in your birthday. Sometimes we can not control the situation to happen even if it is our special day. I think your friends are also sorry for what they did.
1 person likes this
• India
12 Mar 07
I really don't care for the bad day, if I could get them back, but it seems some harsh realities were out that day, that all did not care for each other the way I expected, that is what I feel now, maybe that is just coming out of my desperation, but it could be true as well.
@lucky_witch (2710)
• Philippines
11 Mar 07
oh im really sorry to hear that... its not a good present for your birthday...just give it a time... maybe they were just so angry. dont feel bad... i know it hurts... when you've treated your friends more than a brother. Even a little fights hurt a lot. But sometimes its something that strengthen friendship even more. Just have faith... if they are really your bestfriends... in time they will talk to you and clear thngs up. its just normal to have a fight at times... any kind of relationship experience that. it is sometimes just testing your friendship... Me and my bestfriend had a fight before and I perfectly understand how you feel. but after a few weeks of thinking... our love for each other made us decide to clear things and work out for our friendship sake. its never easy... sometimes you feel that you can do nothing and all is ruined forever. but the matter of fact...all of you is thinking of the same thing... they can also feel each others lost ... and they also feel sorry for the friendship. maybe they just trying to cool down... you're best of friends right? have faith...
1 person likes this
• India
12 Mar 07
They were my first real friends, I never had such good friends before. Also, that was my first birthday celebration, I have never had any sort of celebrations for my birthday before, but now I have a feeling both are not my cup of tea.
@sechsey (1834)
• Canada
11 Mar 07
Dont worry. Real friends forgive friends. Just talk it over with them when everything has cooled down. I am sure when everyone is level headed , everyone will be able to understand. Im sure you are all grown ups anyway to not let some petty misunderstand get in the way of friendship.
1 person likes this
• India
11 Mar 07
It is easier said than done. When someone is really hurt by words, it is not too easy to get back to the normal self easily. I somehow managed to pull myself together but not others.
@howard96h (11641)
• New York, New York
11 Mar 07
Sorry to hear what happened. I hope your everyone will be able to fix what ever problems there are and you all can be friends again. Friendship is important and when the bond is broken it hurts. Hang in there and give everyone time for their wounds to heal. If they are true friends your relationship with them will be repaired. Happy belated Birthday cultoffury.
1 person likes this
• India
11 Mar 07
Hope that happens, but I am not too sure about it. Our classes will come to close in a month or so, so, this might be the final nail in the coffin. I wish it is not.
• India
12 Mar 07
Dont worry . The same thing happened to me . All I can say is TIME WILL heal. Just give them some time to cool down.Never try to point out their mistakes(unless it bcums too necessary). Talk to them and listenm to wat they are saying. One day theyll realise they were wrong somewhere(and you may too realise u were wrong in someway). But I know its tough without friends.e1 if its for only a day
1 person likes this
@babyjane (1390)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
Broken heart is a part of life's challenges. There is nothing wrong with that except the hurt and pain you have to struggle in dealing life without her. You have given out your best but it haven't appreciated. You have tried but it's not your fault if it wouldn't last.
1 person likes this
• Canada
12 Mar 07
I'm so sorry that things went so badly wrong. Sometimes silly things get blown out of all proportion and the very best of friends get torn apart and don't talk to each other. Once things have calmed down, try to talk to each of them. Apologize for whatever you might have said that upset them, and see if you can't all make it up. I don't mean to sound like I'm sexist or anything, but sometimes, men let their pride get in the way of being the first to make the move towards reconciliation. I do hope you get this sorted out. Friends torn apart isn't a nice feeling. Good Luck!
1 person likes this