am i wrong for wanting what i want in a marriage??

United States
March 15, 2007 1:16pm CST
Ok i wont get into too much boring detail. But every person has expectations and goals with what they want in a relatioship. what they will and will not tolerate in a relationship and they set these usually before they find that certain someone. I dont think that my needs/wants out of a marriage was really that much to ask. All i want is a husband who will be honest, faithful, love me for me and wo didnt do drugs or any other crimanl actions etc. I give my all everyday to my husband i never lie to him i have never cheated on him nor would i ever. I am a honest fathiful loving person who my self dont do anything i wouldnt want my husband to do....etc etc. Before we were marrid my husband had cheated on me once about 4 years into our relationship. I hurt like hell, but i got over it forgave him and put all my trust back in him eventually. We got in a big agruement a week before the wedding about something else that he was lying/hiding from me the whole time we have been together. Well we were going to spilt up call the wedding off etc. but he vowed and promised that this certain thing would never happen again. well we have been married 7 months now and i recently found out that he was once again hiding this from me. I have asked him numerous times on certain occasions whn i sensed that this was happening and he assured me i was wrong. i felt guilty about not trusting him and wrongfully accusing him. But it turns out that my feelings on it were right all along. It doesnt matter to me as much as what he did its the fact that he lied straight to my face. that he swore to me it would never go on again. How could he look me dead in the face and lie to me?? Im so torn because if it were something like cheating on me again i would definatly leave him. But its mainly the fact that he could just lie. what happened to honesty? i mainly needed to vent, but any suggestions comments you readers have would be greatly appreciated. thak you.
1 person likes this
1 response
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
15 Mar 07
You are definitely not wrong in setting high expectations in marriage. I have been down the road you are speaking of many times and it is very unpleasant. Guys used me, cheated on me, beat me up etcetera. I kept on falling for the worng ones and wanted so badly to believe that they did care and that they loved me. They didn't! They never did or had any intentions of staying with me at all. The first guy I ever met and fell head over hills for, cheated on me from the start with my cousin and I never knew it until later on. He slept with her. He also slept with one of our friends and that friends mom! that is right down disgusting. Every time I would say something to him that I thought he may be cheating on me, he would beat me up. I fiannly got out of that situation because he never did change. I would never, ever put up with another man cheating on me or beating me up ever again. I am happily married now, but if something happens to my husband, I wil be very choosie on the next man that I give the time of day to.