When you die, would you want your spouse to visit your grave every day?

@kgwat70 (13395)
United States
March 16, 2007 5:38pm CST
How would you feel if your spouse or significant other visited you at your grave every day or almost every day? Would you want them to not visit you that often and move on with their life? I have heard of this one person here that has visited his wifes grave every day for 40 years. Would you be sad if they were not able to move on with their life and try and be happy again after you passed away? Would you want them to try and find a new spouse or significant other?
35 people like this
93 responses
• Canada
16 Mar 07
When I die , I don't want to be burried . I would like to be cremated and then just put with some flowers somewheres so that when my loved one's see flowers they will be able to think of me without having to go somewhere special to visist with me . I am not sure how I feel on my spouse finding someone else . I would want him to be happy and would want him to move on but the thought of him being with someone else kind of scares me if I think about it right now . Not something I like to think about so not really sure how I feel on this .
4 people like this
@kgwat70 (13395)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I am thinking that I may want to be cremated as well as I have a hard time picturing myself being in a coffin and underground. My mom wants to be cremated but my dad prefers a regular burial.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 07
Well if I die I would like my husband to visit my grave often maybe once or twice a month at least more if he feels the need but I would want him to move on to and make a good life for our children but I wouldn't want him to move on with another woman for a while if he did to soon I would come back and haunt him LOL
4 people like this
@kgwat70 (13395)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I guess he better look out if he remarries after you are gone. :-) Once or twice a month is not too bad for visiting their spouse after they had passed away. That is good that you would want him to move on and make a good life for your children.
1 person likes this
@toolfan (305)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I think it would be nice for my wife to visit me at my grave after I passed away. I would want her to be able to move on with her life, though. I also would want her to know that no matter what happened to me, I would always be with her in spirit. Hopefully that would comfort her enough to not need to come and visit me.
3 people like this
@speakeasy (4215)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I wouldn't want my husband to visit my grave every day like that. I wouldn't want him to remarry immediately either; but would expect him to find someone eventually.
3 people like this
@kgwat70 (13395)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I would agree that I would not my partner to remarry right away as they need time to heal and it would not be fair to the other person either. At some point, our loved one needs to move on and enjoy the rest of their life.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I wouldn't expect my spouse to visit my grave every day, but it would be very nice if he could. My husband is older than me and by the time I die, he may not be able to drive to come and visit me to my grave site. I think it would be too hard on him also. I'm not sure if he would actually want to visit me often or just try to move on with huis life and raise my daughter. I do not want my husband to be alone but I do want him to meet a good woman and make sure she treats everything we have worked so hard for, with respect if she happens to stay here or move in. I really hope that he has enough love from me to get him through his remaining years, but if not I wish him the best to move on without me.
@kgwat70 (13395)
• United States
17 Mar 07
It is nice that our loved one remembers us and misses us, but I would rather see them living the rest of their life doing things that they enjoy doing and maybe finding another mate or at least making friends to spend time with.
1 person likes this
@sjohnson628 (3197)
• United States
16 Mar 07
Oh that is so touching that this man visits his wife's grave every day. It may not be that he is not able to move on maybe he doesn't want to. Perhaps he found his soulmate in her and has no need to look further....As for me I would want my S/O to move on and at least visit my grave once a year. WEll maybe twice, LOL. Good topic here...
3 people like this
@kgwat70 (13395)
• United States
17 Mar 07
It is touching that he visits her often but I think his wife would not want him to visit everyday. She is with him in spirit all the time. It is certainly hard to lose someone so special to you but I think we would want our partner to continue living and enjoy the rest of their life.
1 person likes this
• India
17 Mar 07
i will wish that my life partner moves forward in his life i know he will always love me and remember me and i also love him so i want him always growing in life as we all say in indian language never run behind shadows
3 people like this
@andrika (386)
• Indonesia
17 Mar 07
i just let go of it like i let go everything else. i hope he will be strong, and take care our children (if we have any) and move on.it will not fair for him. sure he can maried somebody else it will make him happy.
3 people like this
• United States
17 Mar 07
i wouldnt say everyday i would say to visit every week at the most its life u grow become an adult and then u kick the bucket everyone know they're going to die eventually but deny it its the way of life and they should move on with theirs
3 people like this
@ally555 (117)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I wouldn't want anyone to visit my grave every day cuz that's not where you are, just your's remains are there. Your spirit is with your loved one's I think. You don't need to go to a grave to talk to your loved one's, they can hear you no matter where you are. I would want my loved one's to move on and not do that every day. I would want them to be happy and make a new life.
3 people like this
• United States
17 Mar 07
I would definatley want my hubby to move on and only visit when it was possible for him. Like holidays and birthdays and such. I think it is important for someone to move on with their lives even though someone they loved very dearly is no longer with them. That person is no longer here in body, so I don't see the point in visiting an earthly body that is no longer there, but that person should be with you in spirit where ever you go.
3 people like this
• United States
17 Mar 07
Personally I dont believe if one loves the other..that they care that the loved one chooses not to remarry or if the loved one makes trips to the grave. I think it is a sign of the love that was shared..the fact that this fellow continues to go to the grave of his deceased love..It is truly a moving story..Would that all couples could love this much!
@kgwat70 (13395)
• United States
17 Mar 07
It is touching that he goes to see her everyday though I do not think she would want that. I think we would want our other half to keep on living and enjoy life and possibly meet someone else that could make them happy.
1 person likes this
@Anakata2007 (1787)
• Canada
17 Mar 07
I would want my husband to move on, but not THAT fast. I think within a year or two if he started dating. then I would be happy if he visited my grave only once in a while.
2 people like this
• Pakistan
17 Mar 07
well i would like to think that someone remembers me. its the aim of life itself, that when you go ppl remember you for all the good you have done. if ur relation is the same with ur husband he will too. but i would never wish him to visit my grave so often as to not to move on with life. i believe time is a healer and it heals all. but indeed i would be sad if he would not move on.
• India
17 Mar 07
they neednot to worry. our lovables are not even in this world, they'll be ever caring for us as they did before.they would be happy in the other world , if you are happy here. because your spouse is the only relationship you have in this world. you have responsibilities for your other family members. it doen't mean that you shouldnot go to their grave/ you should marry someone else.live for others who are in need of you
2 people like this
• Canada
17 Mar 07
Yes it would be nice that they remember you. I mean I would do the same for them. I like it to know they do not forget you, I mean we all make mistakes and they should not hold that, no one should.
2 people like this
@kakuemmom (862)
• Canada
17 Mar 07
I would not want him to visit everyday. He would need to grieve at his own pace then slowly let go. I would want him to go on with his life and try to find happiness again. It would not do his mind any good to not let me go.
2 people like this
@shylalex (13)
• India
17 Mar 07
NO, I would only wants my spouse to remember me by being happy and just loving the world the way he used to love me. visiting my grave should be only on y birthday as i do not want him to miss me and been thinking and hurting his feelings
2 people like this
@Gwapako_28 (2142)
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
Wow! Cant believe that. He love his wife that much. I wont demand to my spouse to visit me everyday. Especially we are separated. And if ever i will re marry to another man, still i wont ask him to do that. But if he will do that for me, that would be awesome.
@Jshean20 (14362)
• Canada
17 Mar 07
I think it's beautiful for someone to visit their spouses grave everyday, unfortunately I don't think that's something that I could handle. I think that it's a nice thing to do, but for me it would be an incredibly emotional time, something I couldn't bring myself to do. I could be wrong though. Maybe after time passes it would actually be therapeutic in a way, away of feeling close to them again and talking to them.
2 people like this