Stay at home moms

@stacyv81 (5904)
United States
March 25, 2007 9:52am CST
I am a stay at home, by choice, me and my guy decided it best for our familty. But I am starting to feel, that even if I wanted a job, it wouldnt be worth it as daycare prices are so high that if I did get a job, my guy would actually have to pay out of his pocket, plus my paycheck just to afford daycare. It isnt worth it for my guy to have to pay extra for me to work. Does anyone else find themselves feeling this way? I mean, I love staying home with the kids, but why in a society where they say we need two incomes do they make it so hard? Are we recieving conflicting views on the situation? Not that I feel bad towards women who work, I say whatever is best for your family..but I was just wondering if anyelse has come across this.
7 people like this
32 responses
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
25 Mar 07
Stacy, I agree. When My hubby and I decided it was time to start a family, we always knew I would stay home with the kids, not really to save money, we just thought that was best for us. Then when I realized how much daycare would have cost, I wodered how people pay for that? With two kids, My husband would have had to pay as well, just for me to work, to me that's ridiculous. WHy work, and then not have any extra money for it. Now there are woman out there who make a lot of money, both of the parents do, and they are used to a certain lifestyle and unwilling to give it up, but they are not the average family. The average family cannot afford day care easily, and are paying more for thier kids to be watched then they make, and that seems a little silly to me.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Mar 07
I am also a stay at home mom. I decided to stay at home for the same reason... childcare. Because I have special needs children it is hard to find daycare to begin with but then you have to pay extra. Why should I work and miss everything, just to give someone else everything I have made? But we really did need 2 incomes to keep our family afloat without having to resort to welfare. So I found a home-based business that I could do. SO now I get the best of both worlds. I think that is why a lot of mom's are starting their own home business, or at least trying to. In some ways socity is saying that if we stay at home with our children they wouldn't get into as much trouble but then again some women fight for the right to go to work and have equal rights as men. Women are stuck between a rock and a hard spot. We don't want to go back 50 years where a woman had to stay home but we don't want to give up that right either. Hope that made sense.. lol
@stacyv81 (5904)
• United States
25 Mar 07
It makes a lot of sense. I am looking for some kind of homebased business, but I cant seem to find any right now. When I look on the internet I cant find anything but scams, any advice you have would be appreciated.
@jsae29 (1120)
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
You are not alone, girl. I too decided to quit my job last NOvemeber 2007 to take care of my kids. I really love my job, but it is just so hard to leave the kids to their nanny. Plus it is really expensive to hire a nanny. And most of the time I argue with the nanny and she really stressed me out. That's why, me and my husband decided that I'll just stay home and take of the kids. I love my kids so much and I enjoy being with them but it is different when you are earning your own money.
@jsae29 (1120)
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
Sorry, typo error. I quit my job November 2006.
@Bee1955 (3884)
• United States
25 Mar 07
Today's world you need 2 paychecks. You can be a stay at home mom and still work like here on Mylot. My webpage has more fee and non-scam ones if you'd like to browse. http://www.BasimahsBountifuls.com
@Bee1955 (3884)
• United States
25 Mar 07
I meant more "no-fee".
@bad1981 (799)
• United States
28 Mar 07
Yes, basically Id be working in order to pay for daycare and what is the point of that. Personally, I love to stay home with my kids and dont want a daycare to raise them or bring them up so I chose to stay home with them. But if I did decide to go to work, until I am done with school, i would basically be working to pay for the daycare costs. Our society is messed up and needs a lot of work, but it will never be where it needs to be.
• United States
26 Mar 07
I'm also a stay at home mom, and it was for two reasons - the first being my son is my last child and he was the only one I got to stay home with, and the other being child care costs. We got married 2 months after he was born so our combined incomes was too much for the state to pay daycare for me anymore, and no way could we afford to pay it ourselves. I'm 2 classes shy of an associates degree, and that's worth about as much as the ink it would take to write that sentence! So minimum wage jobs is about all I could get - but it doesn't make sense to go find a minimum wage job and then end up paying more in dayare than I would actually bring home. I've considered watching other people's kids and I'm sure I could get a few people to watch kids for since babysitters are always cheaper than daycare but I don't know if it would be worth it.
@nameerf (99)
• United States
26 Mar 07
When we had our first I was just starting my career. Fortunately, my job paid enough to cover daycare and then some. Unfortunately, we were in debt and couldn't have me stay at home when we needed the extra income to get out of debt. Six years later and we were finally in a position for me to stay home with my 3 year old and be home when my oldest gets out of school. It really is a balancing act and it makes you wonder why you're working to let someone else raise your kids. Childcare costs are really high. The daycare we went to was $900 per month for an infant and $700 for 2 year olds and up. It's ridiculous when you are paying as much for daycare and your monthly mortgage payment. My biggest issue had been would I be able to go back to a career when my kids no longer needed me. I know that the career path I was on I can't get back to, but I'm okay with that. The two income thing works best when there are just two people in the family, kids make double income very hard.
@Gemmygirl1 (2868)
• Australia
26 Mar 07
Over here in Australia the government likes to make life easy for us i guess. We get a baby bonus once the baby has been born (currently it's $4000) & with things like working, they like to encourage both parents to return to work but offering subsidized (sp?) child care, you actually get the majority of what you pay in child care, returned to you. I am planning on staying at home to take care of my baby but even if i did want to return to work, they make it very easy for us to return to work. It's a shame they don't make it this easy in all other countries as well.
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
I am also a stay at home mom. It's the most difficult job I ever had but the most satisfying of all also. Now, I am forced to look for a job because I hired two nannies to look after them because I used to work in a contact center but I resigned. Now, though I really don't want to work anymore I am obliged to do so because I don't have enough money to pay for my nannies. I don't want to let them go because it's really hard to find good nannies and I might really need them in the future and won't able to get them anymore. But if given the choice, I'd rather stay at home and be a full time mom to my kids so I can guide them as they grow and never miss any single day of their lives.
• India
26 Mar 07
It is good to stay at home for a women to take care of childs. The childs at home feel more secure if mother stays around them whole day. But if you have financial problem then it is good to do JOB on behalf of your family. This will help your husband in spending for house expences
@dudess (24)
• Botswana
26 Mar 07
hey, iam a dentist and i quit my job to take care of my son and to become a stay ay home mom by choice.i feel that my baby is very important to me and i want to see him, enjoy him and be there when he needs me the most ie, now when he is a baby. when he grows up he wouldnot need me full time and then i can get back to my job.my education and my dental degree no one can take it away from me and i can always get back to work.i wouldnot want miss the moment when my child took the first step for all the money in the world.i can get back my job but not that precious moments. i guess money wise u would be spending more or less the same kind of money if u were working and spending it on daycare. i also have to face the society, people are shocked that iam a dentist and iam at home .they think its a waste of time and how much money i could have been earning. to me its the best time of my life!!
@nel7575 (11)
• Malaysia
26 Mar 07
I'm a stay at home mom too. I would like to suggest that you look or a flexi job or a home-based job/business. By doing this, you can juggle both work and family at the same time. It would be great for your kids as you will always be around when they need you. Don't give up. I've waited and has been searching for several years and finally my effort paid off. I had just been offered a job as a teleworker where I can work from home. I only need to go to the office once a month, and the office is in my neighbourhood. I actually work where I live! When my kid is old enough to go to school, they will offer me a flexi job where I only need to go to the office for a few hours. When my kid finishes school, I can pick him up and take my job home with me. All the best to you!
@DANDTON (75)
• China
26 Mar 07
I love my mom
@egay679 (152)
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
i am a working mom and this is also i and my husband's choice. no offense meant stacy but in this world where everything seems to have a price, it would really be practical if both parents are working for their child's future. as a working mom, it does not necessarily mean that you are abandoning your responsibility as a mom and as a wife. i for one, whenever i got home from the office, i see to it that i would devote my time to my daughter and my husband so that they would not feel that they are less prioritized. i used to be a housewife but i felt that i had to help my husband because of all the price hike here in our country and it would really be best if we are both working. if this would be hard for you, why not have your own home business or try work-at-home jobs using your computer and internet? well, you are using mylot but there are still other opportunities for you to earn. i think this would be best for you since you had second thoughts about applying for work outside. what is good is that you can work and be a mom at the same time. anyways, good luck in whatever decision you will make.
@gemini1960 (1161)
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
my wife have no work also since my children are still young and needs mothers care.its true prices now is going up..much cheaper if one is not working since you dont have to let your children be watch and take care by others..especially in my case with 5 children in a row..
• India
26 Mar 07
money can be earned in several ways here are online jobs to earn. but love and affection cannot come from online or from others. care for your family not for money. i made my wife stay at home to take care of my parents. i take efforts to earn more from online sources. i am still attempting to do that.
@KenYan (19)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I think you should try to work at home. with a home base program.
@lezhiya (31)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Absolutely Stacy! I feel that way everyday. When my husband goes to work I feel as if I should be getting out there and doing something myself. But I can't. The fact is you would need a job paying over 2k a month just to survive. Daycare where I am for my 2yr old and half the day for my 7yr old is 1400. That is just too much.
• United States
26 Mar 07
i feel the same way. i am also a stay at home mom for that exact reason. i dont see the point in going to work, sending my son to daycare, and then at the end of the week, to hand over my paycheck to the daycare. in that case, i would rather stay home and raise my son the way i want to raise him. i am so happy that my husband sees it the same way i do. i have heard that it takes two incomes to have a family, things are soo expensive these days, and its even more expensive once there is a child added to the family. when it was just me and my husband, we were able to live comfortable with both of our incomes, but now, we are just barely making it. in my husbands view, he would rather have it this way, than any other way. now we are expecting our second baby, and i know things are going to get tough, so i am looking into takeing an online course so that i can work from home and bring in some kind of an income.
@vstorm (65)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I got really tired of always being at work when I could be spending time with my kids, so I found a home based business that I really love and made it work and it did and still does now. I did recently go back to work, in real estate so I still make my own hours and still have my home business to help out financially also. I just got bored at home and wanted to do something on top of what I am doing, but nothing that interferes with my family life. Its worked out great for me.