Does anyone feel lost or lonely even when surrounded by love?

mom and the girls - Mom and the girls at Christmas
United States
March 26, 2007 8:55am CST
I just lost my mom in February, (I know I've mentioned that in so many of my posts, but that's part of my life right now). I have been feeling so lost and lonely lately. I know that losing my mom is why those feelings are so strong right now. Even with my husband, my children and friends around, I still have moments were I feel so alone. I was talking to my husband about this today. He said that I also have to remember that the last month of her life I was with her every day, for anywhere between 12 and 14 hours a day. That meant so much to me, and even though every day she would try to make me leave I wouldn't (she didn't like to be the center of attention...I got that trait from her). We had so many talks, about so much, even before she had her lengthy stay at the hospital, we spent a lot of time together, every Friday, we would go have breakfast then we'd go to the grocery store, then I'd take her home because that usually wore her out. I am feeling her absence more every day. Even with loved ones, family and friends around, I still feel so lost and lonely. Has or does anyone else felt or feel that way too. Thanks and have a great day!
6 people like this
18 responses
@makingpots (11920)
• United States
27 Mar 07
I think you just need to allow yourself to have those feelings for right now. It is part of the grieving process and your children are learning how to grieve by seeing you go through this. And I believe they saw and learned a lot about your character(and hers) during her last month when you were with her so much. If you didn't have a caring, loving heart it wouldn't hurt so bad. But then consider the options. Give yourself some time. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11920)
• United States
11 Apr 07
Thank you for the best response. I hope you are doing well.
@ackars (1942)
• India
27 Mar 07
I do...I usually feel it.I have too many of my friends around me and sometimes I feel that none of them love me...Im a person who gets tensed a lot when xams comes.In my first yr of college life,I told this to many friends and they all tried consoling me and finally when results came I passed with good marks and two of my friends who consoled me lots failed..After that whenever xams comes,and I get tensed,noone believe me..thay says Im not tensed...jus telling it.But they dont know how much I get tensed...when they dont believe me,I really get tensed and feel that they are not there to support me..
@EagleEyes (646)
• United States
27 Mar 07
First I would like to send you my thoughts and prayers. I know exactly how you feel. My dad just passed away the beginning of this month and I feel exactly how you do. It's like part of you is missing, never to be found again. You know that saying "Someone carries a heavy heart", well that is how I feel, My heart inside my body just feels heavy and so different. I miss my dad so very much, and I love him so very much too. Life is just never going to be the same without him here in my life anymore. I know he is in Heaven and I know he is not in any pain and he isn't suffering anymore. I just wish he was still here, I miss him so much it hurts, it really really hurts. It doesn't matter who is around me now either, I just want to be with him, I want him back. That however isn't possible, and I hold on to him by knowing that there weren't any unspoken words, I said everything I needed to say to him over and over again. I let him know how very much I love him and what a wonderful man, father and friend he is. I too spent so much time with my dad before he passed and I wouldn't change that for anything. I also try to remember him when he was healthy and loved life to the fullest you know what I mean? I know that is the way he feels again now in Heaven. I also know that he is with me everyday, I can feel him. I just wish I could hug him, when he was sick with cancer, he was in so much pain, we couldn't hug him. I really miss his voice and his gentle hugs so much. I tell him that everynight, I speak to him everynight, and I wrote a poem for him to. I recite that to him everynight also. I know he hears me, and I know he is there with me when I talk to him. Sometimes, I wish I could just speak to him forever you know. If you ever want to talk just pm me, I am here. God Bless! : )
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 07
i know how you feel. you will always feel that loneliness. it does get better but will always be there. i lost my mom 7 years ago and my dad 12 years ago. it doesn't really seem that long to me either. i still have my husband and children and grandchildren now but for some reason it is not the same. i feel alone too and lost sometimes. even though i am 53, it seems that once your parent or parents are gone, it is never the same. sheila
@diannebcrs (1549)
• Philippines
27 Mar 07
i'm sorry to hear that.. but i'm sure your mom won't be happy if she sees you that you're sad. i guess you should try and move on.. but you need not have to forget her. that's life.
1 person likes this
• Hong Kong
27 Mar 07
The person is nothing is bettter than the most sad in lose time of closed relative, I have ever had this experience as well. Much time will remind of them, corncerning about them. But the time can dilate everything, a little bit and strong. Sad the day always will be past.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11410)
• Davao, Philippines
27 Mar 07
i have still parents as of today..not gone yet...but i know what you mean and felt about the loss..nobody can replace a parent to us...its a great loss if ever..even sorrounded by freinds and relatives even a husband...my mom's husband also past away 2 years back and i know what he felt and same with you today upon reading this
• India
27 Mar 07
Losing someone close is such a horrible thing in the first place. Secondly, the mental trauma is almost unbearable. The later part is the most difficult to come to terms with. I lost my father when i was just 16 years old. I still remember him today as if it were just a week ago. I understand how u must be feeling. All i can say is : Be strong at such a painful & vulnerable moment in your life.
• Indonesia
27 Mar 07
I'm sorry to hear that. But be patient. You can be better than that day. Just remember to do what she like to ask to you to be a good daughter. Do you know, if you can do that all, I think you will make her be proud of you. Never give up and always try to build her hope. By doing that, you can show to everyone, that you always love her and she always lives in your heart.
1 person likes this
@ebudae88 (110)
• Philippines
27 Mar 07
it's about grief. it's more enduring than mourning. i also lost a very important person in my life last February. And the feeling of grief just lingers and it really affects how i live day-to-day. I think we just have to make do with it and live as if that person is just around us or is just in far-away place. it's really hard to cope and always you get the feeling that there's no more purpose for you to live life. Coping with grief is really a struggle. you might want to find an outlet for this feelings. . .
• Philippines
27 Mar 07
Losing a mom would be the hardest thing a person can go through especially if our moms are our best friend. I do feel lost sometimes. I guess we all gp through certain situations.
1 person likes this
@dfinster (3535)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I'm truly sory for your loss of your mom and how you feel now. I know how horrible that feeling is after losing someone so close to you. I think it's wonderful that the two of you got to spend all that time together. I'm sure it made your mother as happy as it made you. I don't think there is anything that anybody can ever say to make someone else feel better in this situation. Rely on your faith and know your mother will always be with you and watching over you sweetie. Take care of youself.
1 person likes this
@salsen (108)
• Turkey
26 Mar 07
I sometimes feel lonely and have the feeling like there's something missing in my life. Maybe the reason is I don't have a girl friend right now. I'm not sure!
1 person likes this
@anandjee (282)
• India
26 Mar 07
Dear Friend , i don't know your age but we all are face same problem in past or future in life, so try to not attached to anyone on earth because everything is change nothing is same at long time, iam trying to get help you, please find a GOYANKA ASHRAM OR BHUDHA ASHRAM they are teaching in his place of 10 days meditation, In that place without talking . after that your all problem will solved , this is my Assurance, to you my name is kashinath Mishra from India, my emailid is emailkashinath@yahoo.com May GOD help You in these matter
@shezah (47)
• Pakistan
26 Mar 07
Yah it happens when some one very close to your heart seems to be very far from you ...and even if you are in a room full o f people it seems that you are alone ...its the same feeling i experianced when i broke up with my beloved and he cheated on me i felt so lonely in this world full of people.I still feel the same even after passing of so many years.
1 person likes this
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I'm sorry about your mom. After I lost mine, I felt that way for a long time, as much as you try to fill your life with your family and other things, their is still a big void where that person belongs. It's been almost 20 years since I lost my mom, and I can just tell you that after a time it does get easier. There are still times when I miss my mom as if I had lost her yesterday, but now I can also look back and think of the memories with fondness and find comfort in that. And one thing that helped me was thinking that she still lives on, in my memories, and also physically through me, my siblings, my children and grandchildren, and my nieces and nephews. She lives on through us because we all have a part of her in us.
@Willowlady (10666)
• United States
26 Mar 07
You are grieving and it is perfectly normal. So many do not have that kind of connection so you are a fortunate one. Take care of yourself and I hope you can find a way to honor her so that you can remember her and let the love between the two of touch others since that may be the sweetest thing that they may have ever felt. I mourn over my house. I drew it built it and lived there until the fire. Through no fault of our own we had a lost job, loss of insurances and were trying to our best for new insurance. The timing was against us. So now we struggle. I will not be the same until I am back in my house. In a way, you will never be the same. Again, find a way to touch another in honor of your mother. I think it will help!
1 person likes this
• Davanagere, India
27 Mar 07
Ofcourse not..!