Why Do You Want To Be My Friend?

@kelly60 (4547)
United States
March 31, 2007 12:12am CST
I hate denying friends, but at the same time, I hate to accept friends when I cannot find any reason why they could have possibly requested me to be their friend. Right now, I have many pending friends. I have looked at their discussions, and do not recognize any as ones that I have responded to. I have looked through the discussions that they have responded to. They have not responded to any of mine. Sometimes we do not even have any of the same interests. Why would these people possibly want to request me as a friend? If we have absolutely nothing in common, why would they even want to be my friend? Do not get me wrong, I enjoy people and have nothing against making new friends, but if we have no common interest, I cannot justify adding you to my friends list. How does anyone else feel about it? In addition...If you have requested me as a friend, here is your chance to explain why!
10 people like this
35 responses
• Canada
31 Mar 07
I'm not really sure why people request to be my friend, but I figure that they must have found my name on something that I posted, and liked what I said, so they requested to be my friend. I also believe that there are lots of people out there that just ask and ask and ask many people to be their friends so they can have a long list of people as their friends. I don't like denying friends, so I always just accept them as my friend. There's only been one person that I ended up taking off my list, and that's because she was always posting up conversations with pictures of naked people in them, and I didn't really want to see that so I had to delete that friend. I like to have a lot of friends though because when I'm replying to conversations, I pretty much only use the "discussions from my interests" and the "discussions my friends started" sections. And the more friends I get, then the more topics I can choose from to respond in.
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
31 Mar 07
It just makes me curious sometimes if I am just another name to add to their collection. Does that really do anyone any good?
• Canada
31 Mar 07
Well, I guess it depends on the person... but I enjoy having a bunch of friends, because then I have a nice range of conversations to talk about with them. I like to talk mostly with people on my friends list, because if they thought they wanted to be my friend, then I figure they must have a reason for choosing my, and then I might as well be friendly with them. I don't have to agree with what they are saying in there topics, and sometimes I don't and get in really heated debates about things with them, but we still talk and reply to each others discussions and I think that is the point.
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
31 Mar 07
I try to respond to as many of discussions from my friends as I can, but there just is not enough time and I get so far behind. It is not that I do not want to meet new people; I just am curious why someone who has never shared a conversation, nor has any interests in common would want to request me as a friend. I am not saying that I will not accept them eventually just that they are waiting on my pending list for now. I keep busy with the friends I have and do not want to neglect any of my friends, old or new.
@wildhorse (1293)
• Egypt
1 Apr 07
Why not accept them all and send them a PM to clear things out, you can delete them later on if they don't answer or they are not interested to be really "friends" and add people randomly.. I don't know about friends lists but I accept all those who request it, if I'm not happy with their discussions i don't respond to it, I guess it's not really about "friendship" and it's just a term, it's more of a small communities inside of mylot. anyway, I'm not sure about all this I just hate to "deny" anyone how comes to me :)
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
1 Apr 07
I guess that is one way to do it. I really hate to deny anyone, but I would hate to delete them too. Like I said, I haven't denied anyone yet, I am just curious how others feel about this.
• India
31 Mar 07
same way i feel about ppl asking for friends requests. and not then talking back to questions.
2 people like this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
1 Apr 07
I don't expect them to respond to all of my posts, nor will I respond to all of theirs, but it is nice when we can find some commong ground. Thanks for your response.
@moonmagick (1458)
• United States
31 Mar 07
When I first started here, I started hitting accept to every request. But in a hurry I realized that it didnt mean that I would necessarily have quality discussions to reply to, nor did it mean my discussions would recieve replies. So I have become more selective when people make friends requests. I check out their profile and read discussions they have written and replied to. If they have common interests, or make quality discussions and replies I add them, if not I decline, or if I am not sure, I leave them pending until I see whether or not they become a valuable contributor on Mylot, or just sort of sink into the abyss. Your discussion reminds me, I need to go in and clear out some of those mistakes I made in my early days here at Mylot.
2 people like this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
1 Apr 07
Actually, I have one that I should probably remove from my friends list, but I haven't had the heart to do it. This one was added my first week or two here, and I haven't heard from them since except one spam message. One day maybe I will do it. I don't know.
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
Hello Kelly, I am of the opinion that one more friend is better than one more enemy. This is also one of the main reasons I accept all friend requests, and liberally extend the same. Also, when someone makes a friend request, it is also in the hope that the new friend will be inclined to answer discussions he started. So why not? After all, it doesn't hurt to ask. The worst that can happen is to be rejected... back to square 1. ;P
2 people like this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
1 Apr 07
I usually accept friend requests too, I just am curious as to why someone who has no idea who I am would request my friendship. I guess I'm just the curious type.
@24111983 (106)
• India
31 Mar 07
well, i don't find any reason to choose a frnd, it very simle, if u realise u want to do frndship with the one u came across then go for it,n let the destiny deside what is good os bad, i do believe is that,"anything that happens, happens for the best."
2 people like this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
1 Apr 07
I think that's probably the way it works in real life. I think that those on myLot must have some reason for deciding who to request. Thanks for your response.
@Eskimo (2315)
1 Apr 07
First of all, I haven't requested you as a friend. I have a number of friends, most of them have never responded to anything I have written, so the only reason that they want friendship is the hope that I will respond to their discussions - some I do, and some I don't. What I do now, is only have e-mails from the ones who either respond to me, or who post intelligent discussions, the others I probably just ignore, and may delete eventually.
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
27 Apr 07
My friendship has also been requested by many who have never responded to any of my discussions either before or after. If they request my friendship yet have no response with me afterwards, it makes me think that they must only want to get others to respond to their discussions. Thank you for your response.
@Fishmomma (11378)
• United States
1 Apr 07
Some members do want to have a big friend list just to look important; however, that isn't why I joined this group. I look for common interests or questions that I thought were so interesting that I wanted to see more of them in the future. I do have several people on my friend list that don't have a lot in common with me, if you look at our interests, but many of us have interests that we haven't listed. I welcome people from any country, age or interests. My belief is I'll see a topic you have posted and respond. I hope everyone that reads this message and agrees with me sends me a friend request.
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
2 Apr 07
That's my feeling. I'm not here to be part of a popularity contest. I think that friendship is more about having interests that we can discussions. After all, isn't that the idea of having discussions? Thanks for your response.
@dionmanis (130)
• Indonesia
1 Apr 07
for me, friend is one who i recognize although only internet, and to become my friend, i have to know to what i recognize them. and hitherto this i still look for what is such with real friend. I Wish you become my friend because i wish older friend and more adult in thinking from me, because if me do mistake, you ready to tell is crummy. Friend comprehending us very difficult found, but if comprehending that friend which they wish. Forgiveness if my language less understood, because i'm use transtool. Otherwise use transtool, I can't speak like this. my education only elementary school, of course you know hot to my submit something to be discussed. I From indonesia
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
2 Apr 07
Thank you for your response my friend. I know it must be difficult for you to use transtool to make your posts. Many people don't realize how difficult it can be for you and many other members.
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
31 Mar 07
I think for a lot of people it is just a big "popularity contest." It's a bit like the kids on MySpace who collect several thousand friends, because it makes them feel validated and good about themselves. I have a lot of "pending" friend requests, too... most have not posted much and I am waiting to see if they are going to become regular contributors of ANY kind of quality content before I approve them. I am always loath to approve someone who's brand new and already has 100s of friends, because most likely the first thing that'll happen is that I'll get a bunch of referral links. And that just annoys me.
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
31 Mar 07
I have seen that too. There are a lot of members who have practically no discussions or responses and nearly a thousand friends. Obviously, the friends are only being there to add to their "collection" and I want no part of it. I do not consider that any type of friendship. It makes me wonder if they are trying to collect responses for their few discussions, or a list to send their referral links to. This probably is not the case with all of these requests, but it does make me wonder about others.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
31 Mar 07
I like having you on my friends list. I sometimes look for people from Canada but so far I only have two. I am always happy to answer as many posts as possible, but I do agree with you it's much nicer to have people on your friends list that can and will answer our posts. Take care.
2 people like this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
31 Mar 07
I am happy to have you on my friends list too. I enjoy your discussions, and although I do not always have time to answer all of them, it's great when we can respond to each other's posts whenever possible.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
31 Mar 07
Well, I have never requested you as a friend and after reading your post, that is not something that you have to be concerned about. However, I know that I have come across you before. I think there are millions of reasons why a person may choose another person as a friend. Maybe they have seen something on your page that they admire. Or you remind them of someone. This sight, to me is different from Myspace, in that there are more opportunity's to expresss yourself and be heard. That being said, I feel honored when a person wants to be my freind, i may not have chosen them, but maybe I can learn from them. They could be a blessing to me somehow. I have never rejected anyone's request to be my friend on this site. Personally, I could use the feedback. Not only that, people who are not like you can give advice from a broader angle. If you fear deversity, then that is something that you must work on. I just really feel that this was not at all a nice or even appropriate thing to say. Since I know that I have seen you before, I am going to have to make sure that you are not a friend of mine, although, with you attitude, I find it very unlikely. The Bible says, He who wants friends, must first show himself friendly. You have looked at these peoples pages and judged them by what you saw, I sure hope no one ever does that to you.
• Canada
31 Mar 07
That is a really nice way of looking at it :)
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
31 Mar 07
Do not be so judgmental Rozie37, I am just asking because I am curious. I just wonder why they would ask me if they have never read my discussions nor I read theirs. I did not mean to offend you by asking this question. In addition, I do not feel that asking this question was any less Christian than was your response.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
31 Mar 07
I'm really open to any kind of friends. Actually even if I don't know them I add them to gain more friends. I think it doesn't give any harm to me.
2 people like this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
1 Apr 07
No, it usually doesn't cause any harm. As I said, I mostly ask out of curiosity. Thanks for your response.
• United States
19 Apr 07
this is why...you love karaoke as much as i do...for one, for another i have been reading through some of your discussions, or the headlines and i think you really have a wide range of things i would like to add to.
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
19 May 07
I was glad to see your friendship request and accepted it right away. I am happy to call you a friend.
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
1 Apr 07
When I go to someone's profile, it is usually because I first liked their avatar, or I was impressed by a response they made to a discussion. Next, I would have noticed their star rating. If it is high, I probably would check out their interests to see if they were similar to mine and if I didn't find any weird discussions, I'd ask to be their friend. Sometimes I've asked just because they have a high star rating. I figure me rubbing shoulders with the best can't hurt! LOL
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
1 Apr 07
You've made some good points. I hadn't thought about the shoulder rubbing angle. Anyway, thanks for your response.
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
1 Apr 07
I wonder the same things alot of times!! I get alof or people wanting to be friends and when I look at their profile it is all about making money and no other interests, I deny them because I don't want a bunch of money-maiking opportunity e-mails. I would rather have friends that share my interests.
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
1 Apr 07
I feel that way. If I want information on moneymaking opportunities, I will ask them to send it. I do not need it coming from all directions. I do not come here for that. I come here to share discussions from common interests. I hope that my friends will share my interests so that we can have interesting conversations.
• United States
1 Apr 07
No I never requested to be your friend, but I hope you will give me a chanee. We about the same age, and may have the same interests. Look me up on my lot and see if I could enjoy knowing you!
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
1 Apr 07
It's nice to meet you. Thanks for your response.
• China
1 Apr 07
OK,i am a newbie here and i've made more than 30 people as my friends.Like you,i hate denying friens cause i feel that those who want to make friends with you must have their reason. I have some friends who have not responded to any discussion i've made,but if i find that we have common interesting,i will also happyily make friends with them. You say,"if we have absolutely nothing in common,why would they even want to be my friend?"i think you must be have an outstanding glamour that interests the people who wants to be your friends. If i want to be your friends,i will tell you that i appreciate the discussion you've made,you and i have some common in our thinking. Ok,welcome to mylot.I want to be your friends also,but i am a chinese,and i am not good at English.
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
2 Apr 07
It does not really matter whether they have responded to my discussion or if I have responded to theirs, or at least had some contact. In addition, I enjoy having friends from all over, and you are better at English than many that I have read. I would be honored to be your friend.
• China
1 Apr 07
oh.. well..i think i am one guys of who want to make friends with you yap..? as a new here, when i post my first note here, the person who responsed my note first would always make me feel warm. i believe friends here would have a same feeling as me. just make a imagination, when you go to a new place you never been here before, the first person who talk to you will impress me much, because as a stranger here, i want friends here would like to make friend with me but not treat me as a stranger.. oh..i dont know what i really want to express about...i am a shy and sensibility guy....
1 person likes this
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
1 Apr 07
Thanks littlewhite, I appreciate your response. It's good to hear from you my friend. Thanks for your response.
@sebs89 (56)
• Australia
1 Apr 07
Wow interesting topic. I can understand what you are saying here. However as this is a program for making new friend and meeting new people I would have thought that accepting new friends would be inportant to you. Baring in mind that if you find they are not quite the friends that you actually want to communicate with, you can always delete them. Sometime when you meet someone for the first time you dont always hit it off right away. It may take a few times of communication before you find out that they actually do have something in common with yourself. I would rather not be too quick to judge people as a whole whether they have the same interests as you or not, because you probably could end up missing out in meeting or communicating with some real nice and potentialy good friends. Please dont take this response the wrong way. Its only my view for what it is worth. Give people a chance in life to be your friend they final choice is yours at the end of the day!!! NOW LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING!! would you like to become my friend?? Have A Great Day Sebs89
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
1 Apr 07
If I were judging them as being unworthy of my friendship I would deny them. Instead, I leave them as a pending friend for a while so that I can return and look around. Actually this gives them the advantage of not being lost amongst my friends list. I have a constant reminder that they are there as long as they are in my pending list. Thanks for your response.