Mother of the Brides

United States
March 31, 2007 11:25pm CST
I am new at this...since this is my oldest daughter, and she's never gotten married before. I seem to be a nervous wreck...and they haven't even set the date yet! Help!!! Any advice on how to stay calm?
3 people like this
6 responses
• United States
1 Apr 07
My kids are not old enough to even think about marriage yet, but my husband and I planned our own -- the biggest thing is to remember it is your daughter's wedding - let her plan and pick and choose, and you just give support and help as needed. Help her run the errands and take pictures all along the way. Start a scrapbook for her - that'll help keep you busy and involved and it may help keep you grounded. When all is said and done you can look back at all the decisions and planning and changes of mind over things that went into making this wedding happen. Just enjoy it! The wedding will go off and all will work out - so don't fret about it all coming together. It will.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 07
I love the scrapbook idea! My daughter asked me last night if I would do the catering for the reception. She has included both me and Hunter's mom in the planning so far, though it hasn't been much, just looking at wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses online etc... I haven't volunteered myself to do anything and won't because of the "help" I received while planning mine.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Apr 07
I'm sure everything will turn out beautifully! Have fun and enjoy the experience!
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Apr 07
Thanks friend!
@mishy24 (88)
2 Apr 07
i'm getting married next year and I have to say mum has been fantastic. Only reason i'm sharing this with you is because its made it so much easier for me, by sharing it I hope you can do the same for your daughter. From the start my mother has said she doesn't want to be the mother from hell. She's supportive of me, she's not taken over, she's helped me organise things and helped where i've wanted it and not where she thinks I need it. Like its already been said, its not your wedding so you have the fun of helping to arrange it and be involved without it being your day. Just be grateful the mother of the bride doesn't have to make speeches!!!! Oh and if the date hasn't been set yet there is no point worrying about it yet. The wedding might be a year or so away yet, which if your already getting worked up about it by the time that comes around you'll have given yourself a heart attack. Weddings can be stressful but just try to relax and enjoy it. Its all worth it in the end :)
• United States
2 Apr 07
My mother and my now mother in law were a part of the planning process of my wedding, but only when I asked them to. I got a chance to get to know my husband's family on an informal basis. I shopped with his aunts and just had fun. I hope that I can be that kind of mother and mother in law to Kristen and Hunter. Congratulations by the way!
2 people like this
3 Apr 07
I hope it all goes well and wish your daughter and partner a life time of happiness.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Apr 07
Thank you. I'm looking forward to it!
1 person likes this
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
3 Apr 07
How exciting! Both our daughters are married and we learned alot. One thing that we did and it was my youngest daughters idea. We had a Family style Wedding shower instead of a traditional bridal shower. We invited families and we had a cookout on the back porch. we set up banquet tables in the front yard and all over the living room and kitchen. We had the grill out then we all went and watched them open gifts. My daughter and her husband to be enjoyed it and so did all the family. Yes, even the men because they love grilled out food. We had about 100 people here. It was just the best way to wish them good luck that we found and was much cheaper than renting building for showers. They got more gifts because more people came. Many said that they came because the whole family could come. My girl friend volunteered to decorate the tables for us. We spent about $100 on the stuff to do it with but we reused it at the wedding. Instead of playing normal bridal shower games, we had families play against other families in out door games such as horse shoes, volley ball, crocket and such. They loved it and we gave prises to the entire family. We bought some DVD's from family feature films ($12.99 each) and a box of microwave popcorn to the winning families. Thus we encouraged more family time. We never heard one complaint and compliments. We do live in the country but if you dont, you could go to a local state park and it would not cost either.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Apr 07
I love this idea! Hunter and Kristen have done everything else as a family...so why not? I'm going to pass this idea on to the kids and to Hunter's mom. They are both country kids. He calls her his redneck woman. She's happier outside in jeans on a horse than anywhere else.
@GardenGerty (128400)
• United States
2 Apr 07
Organize, delegate, and only do the parts you love. In a face to face discussion I was having this evening, this lady said her daughter rented her dress, they rented bridesmaids dresses, and made silk floral arrangements. It is practical. I loved what we did for my daughter's wedding, though. What you do, depends on the type of person you are. We are very creative at my house, and it showed in the wedding. I guess you need to ask your daughter what she expects in a wedding, and listen to her.
• United States
2 Apr 07
My mother in law actually found Kristen a wedding dress! She told Kristen if she didn't like it, she could sell it and purchase something different. My inlaws live several states away, and there was a bridal shop going out of business. It was a discount bridal house, so the prices were already low. The Dress was marked $3500 originally, this bridal shop had it for $600 and with the clearance price, it was less than $400. She is sending it to Kristen this week. She can't wait to see it.
1 person likes this
@kgs_mommy (260)
• United States
1 Apr 07
I totally agree with everyone else. It's their affair, so you just be there when they need you! You've got the easy part! :o) Congrats to your daughter!
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 07
Thanks! I know that she is going to be happy. I've made it a point not to butt in unless she asks. That doesn't stop the nerves about my baby growing up!
1 person likes this
@judyt00 (3500)
• Canada
1 Apr 07
Yes, remember one thing. Its not YOUR wedding, its your daughter's There is absolutely NOTHING for YOu to be nervous about.Try not to get too involved in the planning, or your daughter will begin to resent you. She should do what she wants
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 07
I have actually told Kristen that while she's planning this she and Hunter need to learn three words..."It's our wedding". My nervousness doesn't stem from planning the wedding...but from the emotions of my daughter getting married and growing up.
1 person likes this