Why does most things in life have to be so hard?

@stephcjh (32303)
United States
April 4, 2007 11:17am CST
I have noticed through my life that most everything is hard to achieve or come by. Here recently everything seems to be going so smooth for some reason. I don't understand why it couldn't have been this way all along when I tried to make things go smooth all the time as it was. I just wander why it is all going smooth now and not back then. I am not doing anything any different. I am still working and trying just as hard as before. Do any of you go through this or exprerience constant failure or has your life changed now also? I wander why we have to fail alot before succeeding, especially when we are not doing anything different now than before?
20 people like this
52 responses
@yanjiaren (9050)
4 Apr 07
Yeap that'sthe story of mylife man..Only now at the age of 41 I see a small light at the end of a long tunnel..and I have a long way to go..I have toleave my husband next week..not knowing if or when I will see him again.But at least I can now say that some one loves me a little bit on this planet..I understand where you are coming from..
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
4 Apr 07
That is the sotry of mine also, but for some reason here recently, everything seems to be going okay financially. My marriage isn't all that great though. It seems we can't have our cake and eat it too. I mean, my husband and I love each other but we never have time to show it. It feels like we just live together any more. I am also glad that I have someone also who loves me a little bit, but sometimes I wander if that is just a joke also. I know how you feel also.
2 people like this
@mrsturner (518)
• Canada
4 Apr 07
God has been very good to me. I've never gone hungry; my parents are wonderful; and I never even lost a Grandparent until I was 28. Then things stopped going so smoothly and life became harder. However, the things that I have accomplished through hardship are that much sweeter to me. I failed to get pregnant for so long that when I did the kids were that much more precious; I have no Grandfathers so the lives of my Grandmothers are important and I try to be with them etc. I know I'm young so the lessons will keep rolling in. I hope that I learn from them rather than fall apart under them. Thanks for making me think deeply for a few moments. :)
3 people like this
• Canada
5 Apr 07
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that things will go well for you and that you will have the physical stregth to enjoy the good things. You are such a kind person and have experienced so many things in your life that you make a good friend. You are able to give advice that means something and I know that more than just me appreciate what you do.
2 people like this
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
5 Apr 07
Thanks alot for your kind words and well wishes. I do value those and hold them close to my heart. I don't hearsuch kind words very often. I really do appreciate it from you. I wish you the very best also. I know how very hard it can be sometimes for all of us.
2 people like this
@sizzle3000 (3038)
• United States
16 Apr 07
I have never understood why we fail at some point. I found that when my husband and I first started out we had financial troubles. After about ten years we were both working and making good money and we bought a home and every thing was peachey. I lost my job and shortly after that my husband lost his. We were up and then down. I think maybe we have to go through the rough times to really appreciate the good times. Or maybe it is just to keep us humble.
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
17 Apr 07
I have never really understood it either. My husband and I had alot of financial problems also due to his previous divorce. We bouth a home about 3 years after we got married but we were still struggling to make it because we paid child support for 3 children and I wasn't receiving child support for my daughter. We always have our ups and downs with money also. I know we sure have been through some hard times but I just don't understand why we had to go through so many.
1 person likes this
• India
15 Apr 07
I have experienced in my personal life all those constant failures , and now achieved something more enough for my family.. I think i did not achieved many things in those days because i did not worked out my plans in time and also don have confidence. but now i have gained little experience from my past failures and also i can execute the failures as success day by day. as you said i also wander why it was not possible for me before..I think god has decided to give each thing to us in a particular time.
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
15 Apr 07
I have experienced constant failures also. I succeed at somethings and fail at alot more following it. I am starting to see some success for my family also these days. I have confidence in myslef to achieve my goals but life makes it very hard for me to do so. I make great palns but they do not work out sometimes. I also wander why things were not possible for me before because i worked just as hard and didn't do anything an differently than i am doing right now. I think God has all of our lives planned out for us and we just have to follow the path he gives us and if something isn't meant to be, then it just won't happen.
1 person likes this
@sidoney (1033)
• Jamaica
15 Apr 07
well like don't go the way we want it but I like to thinks it goes the way we need it as some failures are opening doors for bigger and better things so i'm glad sometimes for the many little failures and very happy for they great succcess
2 people like this
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
15 Apr 07
I think life is already planned out for us when we are bron. We will have many roads and paths to choose from. Some are right and some are wrong. I do believe that when one door closes, another one will open for us. I can also deal with the little failures that bring much success inthe future. It is just very stressful and tiresome sometimes.
1 person likes this
@Avichail (694)
• Indonesia
9 Apr 07
Dear Steph, The hard things in life serve as a mean to teach us there are no things that can truly bring joy to us if they come from this world. The person/thing that we love the most will have the biggest capacity to hurt/disappoint us. I think we should be thankful if we go through hardships eventhough we might not understand while going through it. Hardships make us better person. Help us understand other's hardships and therefore might equip us to help them better. It teaches us about patience and will mold us to be more patient if we allow it to. My hardships and constant failure always remind me that life is not only to be spent here. My true home is in Heaven. Failure after failure teach me the value of success more than if I succeed at the first time I try. It's always sweetier when we have to go through a lot to reach something...=)
2 people like this
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
15 Apr 07
I think everything is to teach us also and it is very hard for me to enjoy any parts of life at all. I also think the ones we love the most, tends to hurt us the most, sometimes. I have been through many harships and was very hurt from it but later on I was thankful for it. I have learned to be more patient also. I don't think my good life will be spent on earth either. there has to be something better for me, some place else. I think my true home is in heaven also as I have nothing but grief here on earth. I do value everything whether it comes to me the easy way or the hard way. It isn't always sweeter to go through alot before succeeding in my life because I feel like I deserved some of it way before now and when I finally get it, I am out of the notion of wanting it any longer. It wears you out from trying. I don't mean to seem unthankful for things because that is not the case. It is just very tiresome and frustrating to have to go through so much all of the time and then when something good happens to me, a ton more fall apart. It is very stressful and very tiresome in my life.
1 person likes this
@mauier113 (688)
• Philippines
9 Apr 07
Maybe, that's life my friend. Everything has its' ups and downs, humps and smooth roads. There isn'y anything we can do, its what lifes us want to be, to learn and to learn more. That as we age, we learn to follow and to go on with life wherever it takes us. But the best part is we learn and we became stronger and that makes life easier , because of our past experiences. My husband and I had gone through so many ups and downs but we regain strength from it and from each other. We're having the best time of our married life now, enjoying each other even though financially were not at it but important is we have each other...
2 people like this
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
15 Apr 07
Yes. that sure is life. I know alot of people have their ups and downs but alot of us have more than others. I do agree that we can learn from some of it. I have learned to accept that things will always be hard for me in my life. My husband and I go through our ups and downs also but we work through it each time. We are trying to have good times in our marriage now also but there are other problems outside of our marriage that tend to drive us crazy. We are trying to get financiallystable so he can get ready for retirement in a few more years. It is hard to do and I am the one who is trying to figure it all out. It gets very tiresome sometimes.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7602)
• Canada
4 Apr 07
Well my take on life is that we all have our high and low points in life, and it seems funny but what used to be a problem often turns into no big deal later on in life. Therefore I think we all change even though we may not realize it. I've tried all my life to have things running smooth but that just wasn't the way it worked out. I think God has a plan for all of us I really do.
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
4 Apr 07
I think God has a plan for all of us too. I think everything that has happened in my life has happened for some reason or another. We never know exactly why but we do know there is a purpose for it later on. I have prayed to God for some things before, but it didn't really get answered in the way I asked for it, but it did get answered in some form. I like the song also that says, "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers". I remember praying for things a while back and now I am very greatful that God did not answer them.
• United States
4 Apr 07
Life is very hard, it has always been a struggle. Unless you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, we will stuggle. And, it is getting worse it seems. We do have to fail before succeeding most of the times. But, succeeding is much harder now. Life is like a roller coaster, it goes up and down. I guess we just have to keep working and be glad if we have the health to do it. If we don't, we will have more problems. Bless you sugar.
2 people like this
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
4 Apr 07
You are so right. Life has alot of ups and downs. I just have a hard time understanding why everything seems so easy rightnow for me to achieve. I have done all of the same things as I have done before but I am trying just as hard to do right in my life. I guess it is just my time to shine, is all I can guess. I am very glad that I have my health and my family, but I just cannot understand why I couldn't live in the spot light years ago. I am very thankful for it, but it leaves me guessing and wandering. Thank you for the reply margieanneart. Bless you too.
1 person likes this
@Stephanie5 (2947)
• United States
4 Apr 07
I ask myself that everyday! I think sometimes we make life harder and more complicated than it actually has to be. I know I have! But, still, the older I get...the harder it seems to get. The kids are older and want EVERYTHING, money is always tight, bad things always happen...blah blah. I just started a new home biz and I'm hoping and praying that it works well. Cause if not, I'm about to throw in the towel and just move into a cardboard box, lol. Good Luck!@
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
4 Apr 07
I used to ask myself that every day also. I think some people do make life harder than it has to be sometimes too. Some people do not have anyone to show them a direction on achieving things and some do not know how to achieve their goals. Some wait for others to achieve it for them. As I have grown older, I make life easier for my family as much as I can. It just never seems to come back to me. Money used to always be very tight here also, but I am finally managing to pull us out of that. I wish you lots of luck with your home business. I will say a prayer for you now for that to happen. I understand how you feel when it comes to throwing in that towel. I just get one thing on the right path and 15 more fall off of the path and I have to deal with every one of those again. Good luck to you and I wish you the very best.
2 people like this
@prasad1961 (5601)
• India
4 Apr 07
Its not failures, lessons for us to get experience. In other words failures are stepping stones for our success at a later date. For that particular day we have to wait and get joy with the sky is the limit.
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
4 Apr 07
I have learned alot of lessons then I guess, laugh out loud. I learned alot back then from every failure but everything I learned didn't get me any further the next time. I didn't do anything any different and I am advancing more now and faster than ever. I am still working just as hard to achieve my goals but everything seems to go alot smoother now for some reason. I think it is just my time in life to succeed. They say everything has a time and a place and a reason. I'm glad it is all coming about for me now. I didn't think the day would ever get here.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Apr 07
i guess i do... maybe thats one way of God to make us strong !!!
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
5 Apr 07
Yes. sometimes I think the things we go through is either going to make us or break us. Sometimes it can make us strong and other times it can make us very weak.
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
7 Apr 07
SunSix I think so too. It is just hard to understand sometimes. It is all a learning process, I guess.
• United States
5 Apr 07
i know what you mean. my life is like a big swing that wont stop. for the last 3 years everything has been great. we have been able to afford our bills and do a few extra things. before that we were always on the verge of something being cutoff. we didnt change anything in our lives but we moved to a smaller city. i think that is what helped all of that. we had made a promiss no matter what family comes first then work. well all was great for 3 years then my landlord past away and well. since the beginning of this year everything has gone wrong. lol. it is like since we had 3 good years this whole year is going to make up for it lol. i did get sosme good news though. i should start getting my unemployment so at least i can pay a few bills now and afford to go job hunting. now if i can find a place to move i will see some light. the one thing i have learned is that when things are going good take advantage of it but also put back some for those other times so that you dont end up going to far backwards. always remember murphys law too. i am glad you are seeing some light now hang on to it. lol
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
5 Apr 07
I know exactly what you mean. The same things happen here too. I don't know how to act right now with things looking on the up and up. Every time this happens, something bad happens to take all the happiness of it away. I wish you luck in life also because I have been in the same shoes you are wearing many times. I always live by Murphys Law also, that whatever can happen, can and will. That is so true. I have too much bad luck to think about it any other way. I'm gonna try to hang onto this but when I succeed in one thing, other things start to fail. It just goes on and on and on.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Apr 07
it really does seem to work that way but just remember no matter what everything happens for a reason i truely have to believe that or i would be nuts lol. hubby made a good point the other day it seems like people that dont take advantage of others are the ones that have it so tough and the ones that it does not bother to get over on someone is there ones that have it all. then you wait till they are old and so are you and look. the ones that take advantage of others are the ones that are alone. the ones that dont are the ones that have family and friends close by. i would rather suffer now and be happy later on in life with myself then getting one over on someone and being in good shape now and having no one in the end.
@ESKARENA1 (18296)
4 Apr 07
why life has to be so hard is a question that has often puzzled me. After years and years of observation all I can say is it has to do with the value we place on things. If something is of value to us, we imbue it with more if we have had to struggle to gain it or indeed to struggle to hang on to it, if we dont struggle it becomes of less worth to us. At an individual level, i think in general, life is getting harder. As greed increases, those who have seem to be in hot pursuit of more. Those who have little or nothing will therefore struggle to get even the minimum of resources to suvive. In short, why do most things in life have to be so hard? well its just greed, nothing more. Blessed be
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
4 Apr 07
I agree and disagree to an extent on some of this but please let me explain why. I do not think I am a greedy person at all. I just want the necessities in life and I try very hard to get that, but even those have been a struggle for me. I do agree that some people are greedy and they strive to keep up with others or get more than others and they do forget about the most precious things in life. Those types of people do not know how it is for otherpeople who just want and need the basics, but it is very hard for them to get it, no matter what they do.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18296)
7 Apr 07
hey steph i never meant to imply you was a greedy person lol. However, i maintain that after the essentials of life have been covered, what drives us on for more is greed blessed be
• India
4 Apr 07
No Gain without Pain. That is the practicality of life. Every failure has to taken as a stepping stone to success. Its only when we take it like that we gain experience, we learn and become more successful. Big companies like Microsoft, Apple, Dell, Infosys have all gone through them. All leaders have failed first and become successful next. Napolean Bonaparte is one of the biggest example for this concept of failure first and success next. Hope I have answered your question. All the best Keep trying. mike the lil smiley devil
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
4 Apr 07
You sure did answer my question. I think all of our lives are pretty much planned out in advance and it is up to us to keep going through the trials and errors. We cannot give up on our hopes and dreams. I feel like if I give up, then I have failed myself of ever seeing things happen for me. Thank you for the nice reply. I appreciate it. I wish you the best also and I hope you do keep trying too.
@weemam (13377)
7 Apr 07
I feel like that too steph , nothing has ever come easy to me in my life and I so often feel that I have taken 5 steps forward and 4 back , I have had a lot of obstacles put in my way too ,but when I look around and see what I do have I am so grateful , My parents have Alzheimer's , My hubby and son are disabled , I have a disability too but I still have them all here with me and my 2 eldest sons their wife's and my 4 gorgeous grandchildren , Yes we have our problems but we have a lot of love and kisses and cuddles and that more than makes up for the stumbles along the way xx
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
7 Apr 07
I'm sorry to hear that but I am so very glad to hear the other parts of your life also. I just wish things could be alot easier for those of us who deserve better. All I have in my life right now, is my husband and my daughter. They don't understand fully how hard life can be, because I am always there to make it go smooth for them.
@mdarma (868)
• Singapore
6 Apr 07
Is life hard on us? Maybe it is “yes” and maybe “no”. You have rightly put that we cannot have both. Life seemed to hard or appears to be difficult, I guess that, we are taking our life very seriously without the sprinkle of challenges, at the fun of doing it. It is because we want badly to give o good life to our family and want it sooner then possible. Because of these, it appears too difficult. Sometime we tend to take a bigger bite then we can handle and frustration creeps in. Maybe, we should go a bit slow and have a smaller bite. Organizing our thoughts and action can be of help.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
7 Apr 07
I have been going slow now and now things are finally happening for my family. I just don't understand when I was working so very hard to make it happen, it had to be so hard for all of us? Now all of a sudden, things are happening very easily. I am always organised but life just doesn't seem to be in m organization. It has it own time to make things happen for me, I think.
@kylanie (1205)
• United States
5 Apr 07
I am glad that things are going smooth for you now I know how rough things can be we had copper to clean and I sliced my finger not to bad but just enough to throb but it's ok and I thought it would be easy but kind of hard to make money.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
7 Apr 07
Hi kylanie. I'm sorry you cut your finger. I know it is hard to make money sometimes. It seems something is always there to get in your way sometimes. Things go smooth for a while then all of a sudden crap happens. I hope your finger heals good. We have done scrap copper before also. I hope things work out for you soon. Just hang in there. Best wishes.
@easyman (28)
• United States
5 Apr 07
.. Knowldge, experiance, wisdom. learning part is more difficult..or before you experiance knowldge life is hard.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
5 Apr 07
I do believe the things we go through is the hardest part. The part of being shot down and told no over and over is the hardest to accept. I had the same amount of knowledge back then but I am just now being heard with the knowledge I have had all along.
• India
5 Apr 07
Yes, I too have been a complete failure in life so far, and am without any money, and jobless...., i have joined mylot now and am hoping for the best, and hope i make money from it, as you are doing now..., wish me luck, man........
@stephcjh (32303)
• United States
5 Apr 07
I seem to get one thing going in the right direction and then ten more take a turn or twist in the opposite. It drives me crazy. I wish you the best of luck here at Mylot and in the future with everything you do. Good luck and best wished with it all.