Would you go back?
By arkaf61
@arkaf61 (10881)
Canada
April 6, 2007 10:59pm CST
When I came to Canada I thought of it as something temporary, maybe just long enough to convince my husband that staying here because of his parents was just an excuse, and not a very good one.
We used to go back home quite often. I was still in touch with many people from there and I knew I could still get a good job there fast if I went back.
It's not like I didn't like it here, just that I didn't see any special reason to stay.
Then time passed. The kids were born. And more time passed.
Last August my daughter went to Portugal. She wanted to spend one year with grandma.
She loved it since day one. She actually keeps asking us why we came here, how come we didn't stay.
She keeps giving hints that she would prefer that we went back. Actually more than hints. She got as far as explaining that she would love to be with us for a few more years, but that she wants to be there, so she will come here to finish her grade 12, but wants to go back there for university.
That got me thinking. Would I go back? Would I want to go back?
I didn't want to come in the first place, so I should be jumping for joy with this option right?
I don't know. As I lived here and grew older, some things might have changed for me.
Do I like here more than there? No, not really, yet...
I just find that I got used to certain things in here. They're not better or worse , just different from there and I"m not sure if I would prefer to lose them.
Small things that irritate me there now and probably wouldn't if I hadn't left in the first place.
I don't think I would have the patience to walk on the street because most cars where parked on top of the sidewalk. This doesn't upset my friends back there much, they complain, but are so used to it it doesn't really bother then much.
I don't think I would have the patience to deal with all the bureaucracy or the prefect health care only in big cities, or many other small things that are part of life there.
It's not worse than here. Just different.
I find it interesting the way I feel about this... I thought my dream was to go back...
DO emigrants loose a bit of what they are/were? Do they want to go back at all?
Will they ever feel comfortable back home again?
OR will they be forever not completely comfortable in either country?
3 people like this
6 responses
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
7 Apr 07
No I don't think I would go back after so many years as you will also find that a lot of things will have changed that you have not been there to see changing and it probably will never be the same for you as it was all them years ago As the saying goes you can never go back in Life only forward
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
7 Apr 07
Yes! It's exactly as you are describing.
Changes that happened when I wasn't there to experience them, make it a little bit like another place , not the one I knew and where I grew up.
MY memories refer to the place before the changes so when I get there, it's not the same thing anymore.
I changed to as well, to make things even more complicated.
I'm all for change, and I know how important it is, it's just messing up with my idea of what back home is LOL
The main problem I see for me, is that now I am not 100% here or there, and I think I will never be again.
This doesn't mean that I don't enjoy being here, just that "HOme" is now a place that doesn't exist anymore. Grrrr :)
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
7 Apr 07
I was born and raised in South Florida and moved up to Northern Illinois 5 years ago. I would not want to go back there now. The cost of living is way higher, pay is lower, crime rate is higher. I like it where I am. My husband is from Cuba and when he visited there 8 yrs ago (we are about to go in July as a family) he said that he felt different as well. He thought he would fit right back in and not want to come home. Other than missing his family, he was dying to come home. He always says no matter where we live, he doesn't feel at home or comfortable. But yet back in Cuba he didn't either. I think it depends on the person really. I feel perfectly comfortable up here.
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
7 Apr 07
I also feel comfortable here.
It's just that, like your husband, I always thought that I would fit right back in. That I would feel better there.
I thought I had considered all the consequences of emigrating, the thing is apparently I forgot to consider the fact that I will never feel 100% at "home" again. darn :)
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
7 Apr 07
I was born in the United States, but have lived in different parts of this country. Presently, I'm in California where the cost of housing is high, gasoline is over $4.00 at some stations and many people are living on the beach, as they can't afford to live in any other place. Our minimum wage is lower than many other states and people can't rent an apartment with that amount. I'm one of the lucky people, as have a good businesses and my husband works for the Navy. We will be leaving when my husband retires to a lower cost area.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
7 Apr 07
yes, some places have a very high cost of living.
If I compare both places I think they are more or less the same.
Plus financially I was better back home as strange as this might sound.
Now that you talk about cost of living I think that maybe there is a bit of that included in my thoughts... maybe, I"m not really sure :)
1 person likes this
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
17 Apr 07
man, arka, now you made me think ....i might go to canada in the next two years, and i mean go ther eto stay....at least for some years .....and well just making up your mind to decide that you're gonna do it is really tough, so i can imagine how it is for you to decide if you should return home or not. I don't think that emigrants lose a bit of themselves at all. Life is just a line of choices, with some u make the right one with others the wrong one...but if you are happy then no matter where you are...you just have to make sure you are with the person/s you want to be with , and doing what makes you happy...cause after all plane tickets are cheaper nowadays..it's not like decades ago when someone who went to a foreign country overseas never got to see their family again in their lives, or at least not in like 30 years. Nowadays most ppl are able to go home at least once a year. And if i finally move to canada, that is what i am intending to do, and the person i would move with knows that our holidays would be used for that, at least most of them, cause well, it's fair, isn't it?
2 people like this
@SKLC_PT (1234)
•
13 Apr 07
I left South Africa where I was born at the age of 5 never to return. I really want to re-visit as all my mom's family is there and I haven't met 99% of them. I've never really been happy here. I don't know why, but I've never truly felt good here. I was in the UK for two months once and felt great. I don't know if that's an answer for the post, but it's my view!
@Karmalina (647)
• Australia
7 Apr 07
I came from the US to Australia about 5 years ago. I even went home for 8 months during the time. I was never completely comfortable here and sometimes I still think about going back. I miss people nodding and smiling as they walk by (I'm from the south) And call me a prude, but I like the slower pace people take with things like relationships. Also, I miss how some places stayed open and it was easy to get a decent meal in the middle of the night or go get a new mouse if it broke past 9pm. People are also a little hard on Americans here. Not so bad in the region I live but the one I was in before was pretty bad and people acted pretty childish towards me. I am really trying to settle down here, but I do get terribly homesick.
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
7 Apr 07
I really know what you mean. That was the way I always felt in here. I missed all the things you mentioned.
But suddenly, now, confronted with the thought of maybe going back...I started analyzing everything and found myself in doubt.
I never thought I would have any doubts.
1 person likes this
