What number of Friends is enough for you.

@RobinJ (2501)
Canada
April 11, 2007 11:36am CST
Hi everyone. Lately I have been getting a few friends requests, and I am having difficulty with giving approval on some of them as I can see that we have nothing in common, I do check their profile and see what other discussions they have answered and started and I wonder at the request. Right now I have 43 on my list and I am at the point that I would prefer that my friends that I accept have at least a small thing in common with me. That being said I need to learn and to do that you need to have an open mind and be willing to look at things that may not be in your commonality right now. I honestly feel like I am between a rock and a hard place and would appreciate your input as to how you deal with this or do you just approve every one. Thanks Robin
15 people like this
33 responses
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
11 Apr 07
We also get paid for responding to others discussions. So a lot of people request many friends just to have more people responding to thiers. I have 70 some friends. I am about to weed out a few at this time. The ones that dont respond to my discussions usually get the boot. Im open to new friends but they need to at least answer one discussion of mine a week I feel. I dont deny many requests. But I do weed them out about every 2 weeks. Its all a matter of personal choice as far as requests etc. So do what you feel you can handle etc. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
11 Apr 07
I would prefer that as well but I hear almost always from about 6 on a regular basis and the otheres not at all or seldom. but I don't want to give them the boot just yet, as maybe I haven't posted the right question.
2 people like this
@mslena75 (562)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I approve the requests I get...only because I know me personally like to search for discussions under what my 'friends' posted. Likely others do the same, and it may help you get more responses if you have lots of friends.
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
11 Apr 07
Hi mslena You are right , I hadn't thought of that I also start off with the discussions my friends started, As for getting more responses I get about 50/50 on my discussions. and that is great. as I do love anew insight.
• United States
12 Apr 07
Don't feel like you are between a rock and a hard place RobinJ. You could just accept them as your friends, unless they are completely against everything you believe in. It's kinda like judging people in the real world. You don't have to like everyone, but if you had a bunch of people come to your house for an open house dinner, who are you gonna turn away? How do you make the choice of who eats and who doesn't. It's the same with mylots. How do you make the choice of who might offer you, someday, the ultimate discussion or set of tips about a certain issue. Better yet, by allowing them as friends, you might be able to someday answer a concerning question for them. Mylots is like your home. You have the option of inviting people in or not. With mylots, the emotional attachement isn't there for the most part and you can certain decide who you let in your 'house' or not. You always have the option of not responding to their discussions. Hope this helps.
• Malaysia
12 Apr 07
1 friend is enough.. as long he/she is true to u.. no backstabbing. .and so on =) ..and will support me whenever i need his/her support =).. a good friend is better than 10 unfaithful friends :)
3 people like this
@estherlou (5017)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I've always looked at their profiles to see if they had similar interests to mine. I also tend to approve people who are closer to my age, as we would have more things in common. I also look at a few of their discussions to see what type of things they post. If I see nothing to stop me, I'll go ahead and approve them. I have deleted a couple later though...usually if they post discussion after discussion about se* or se*ual things...not interested in reading about it.
3 people like this
@Katlady2 (9920)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I'm one of those who, when presented with a friend request, goes and checks out the person's profile before making up my mind. If we seem to have something in common, and it isn't someone that is only on Mylot to promote their business and nothing else, then I will accept them. I firmly believe that you can't have too many friends, provided that they are really and truly your friends.
3 people like this
• United States
11 Apr 07
I'm having the same problem myself. I currently have two members in "friend limbo" because they requested to be friends with me. I checked their profiles, I've never responded to a discussion of thiers, nor they to one of mine, and it doesn't even seem that we have both responded to a 3rd party's discussion to connect us. I feel bad declining someone, but if I don't think we will ever benifit one another, why should I bother scrolling through their discussions everyday in my friends discussions page? Both the people requesting are very new members, so I think I'm just going to let them hang for awhile and see if they will even stay with mylot. I'm afraid I haven't really helped you, but I just wanted to let you know your not alone. :-)
3 people like this
@angel68 (138)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Robin i am new to this site still but... one can never have enough friends i dont think. maybe just maybe you may not approve that one that really could be helpful to you down the road somewhere. if i get a request i do approve but now if later they get out of hand they get a big boot. best of luck.
2 people like this
@gabytza (28)
• Romania
12 Apr 07
Honestly I do not think that just watching of one persons discusions you can find out if he or she has something in common with you.In my opinion you are a little bit exagerated.And now I think that you should accept all the friends requests you get and then you descover if they are or are not good enough in order to be your friends.So long!
2 people like this
• India
12 Apr 07
very few may be 1-2 is fine provided they are really good.,Its not htat you should have a lot of friends but even if you ahve a few they should be too good for you and they should be able to help u out when u r in need cos we all know that a friend in need is a friend in deed.
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
12 Apr 07
I approve everyone, I enjoy people with a different culture and background, and if I find it is not working I can delete them and no harm is down.
2 people like this
@louiselai (181)
• Philippines
12 Apr 07
The more the merrieer I think...=)
2 people like this
@villageanne (8554)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I always check their profiles out too. If I have nothing in common with them, I deny them. Some people on mylot are just too s*x oriented for my taste, meaning all their discussions are s*x content and I dont want anything to do with it. When I first joined mylot, I approved everyone but now I know better. I do have over 200 friends though.
2 people like this
@Augustta (1860)
• Poland
20 Apr 07
I am not thinking like you in this way,my friend.See you and me may have just few things in common but we are friends in mylot,and i am glad because this...and i am sure i can learn a lot from your experience life...this is my point:to have how many friends i can here because is a great place to learn and to make spectacular interactions... In real life i will be very careful at my real friends,and even in mylot i have few real friends...but in this place i love to talk with people no matter his/her lingo,color skin or country... My point is having more friends you can have more experience and knowdelege... Augusta
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
20 Apr 07
I've only denied one person and I'm thinking of going back and sending him a friend request. Since then, I've accepted all the requests. As far as the requests that I send, I send to those who reply to my discussions. Not everyone, but most people. I also send to people who's discussions I have replied to. Sometimes I send requests to people who have replied to discussions that I found interesting, especially if they had a response that I found interesting. I also look at profiles before I invite and before I request. There are a few who's profiles I looked at and chose not to send an invite too. I don't limit my friends to those that I have somethign in common with. I think we can learn a lot from people who are very different from us. I have chosen a few for that very reason.
@KrauseHome (36750)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Well, sometimes the people I choose as Friends are people I think I can personally relate with, or the ones who I have been able to respond to some of their Discussions they have started feeling they are genuine people who I can expect a response or two back from as well. I also have a Few friends on here who are Business minded such as I due to I have an Online Business or two I do who give me a lot of tips and encouragement as well. Personally I think a lot of it is what you are looking for.
@weemam (13377)
12 Apr 07
I just accept every one , I am never sure what their discussions are going to be like and you know me I am frightened of hurting someones feelings , what does worry me though is that I have so many now , and I worry that I am not getting round to answering all of them , some of my friends stick in my mind ( like you ) and I go back to them all the time , I just hope through time that I can get round to all of them , I hope so , xx
@Suze05 (480)
• United States
12 Apr 07
That's a tough one, but I think you have a pretty good system for adding friends going. There's no number that is too many or too few, its all about how many you feel you can handle, and how many you feel a connection with. I tend to accept everyone, but I haven't gotten a whole big bunch of requests.. I get one every couple of days maybe, but I do check out their profiles too. I check their discusssions, see how many they've started, if they have responded to a lot of them, make sure they're not just promoting some program or business and are truly participating in discussions of all kinds. Then I check to see their interests and if we have a lot of similar interests..then as long as I don't see anything objectionable I will usually approve them, because even if we don't seem to have whole bunch of stuff in common by their interests, you never know what you can learn from someone else, and their interests might lead me to something new or give me a different perspective on things. I figure, if we only accept people who are just like us as friends, we'll never learn anything new. Plus, they may have interests similar to mine, but just haven't written them into their interests on MyLot yet. I would only deny someone, at this point, if most of their discussions they start are frivolous and clearly meant to just be posting something to be posting something..not anything of quality. I don't mind getting tons of discussions from my friends to wade through, because it only takes a minute or two to read the topic and ignore the things I have no interest in responding to, and the more friends you have, the greater the chance you'll get something interesting you actually want to respond to.
@kaperkitty (1097)
• Canada
12 Apr 07
You know hon I was thinking about just this issue myself the last couple of days.I few newer people have joined and asked to be added to my friends list and I have accepted a few based on there profile because i remember a short month ago I felt all alone here.I wondered if I would ever fit in.Then I met great people and of course your one of them and I got lucky and broke into your friend's list lol. But your right I do deny people that i see there posts are not my cup of tea so to speak and there profiles are nothing i share in common. It is nothing against them but I know I would no have the time to reply to there discussions. If your like me I look at my friend's discussions first and try to reply to most of them first then look at new discussion for any that strike a chord with me. How can you do that id you have 400 friends I think 50 is a good number of friends now I say that i better check how many I have I think it is around that number lol. great topic!!! hugs hope you have a great day hon Cheryl
@healer (1783)
• India
12 Apr 07
Hi Robin it does not matter even if they are there in your friends list or not. I have got quite a lot of friends here and friends request i receive it every day and i accept all of them but it does not make much difference as they don't even bother to reply to our posts also. Its like a decoration i should say lolzz, any way i never check their profiles also. Just approve everyone who wants to be your friend as some will help us in our discussions or other stuffs.