Child Care
By SaSaJ05
@SaSaJ05 (22)
United States
April 11, 2007 11:53am CST
My son is 6 months old. I went back to work when he was 7 weeks old. My mother watched up until the beginning of April when she had to go back to work herself. My husband and I have spent the last couple of months looking for decent day care around here. We have finally found what we believe to be the perfect place, but it was after we found a bunch of not so perfect places. My first experience interviewing a potential babysitter was horrible. We went to visit this woman at her house. She has a certified day care "center" run out of her home. First of all, the entire time we were there she mainly talked about her wedding. Second of all, her demands were outrageous. She demanded that she be paid for 24 vacation days every year. This meant that we would still have to pay her and pay someone else to watch my son while she was on vacation Furthermore, she also said that if my son decided that he did not want to go home with the designated person I chose, she would not let him leave. This means that if he was simply having too good of a time with what he was doing and refused to leave (like most children would do) she would not let him go. This is only a small example of her outrageous demands, but you get the idea.
Has anyone else dealt with anyone like this? Is this normal ANYWHERE??
7 people like this
17 responses
@judyt00 (3497)
• Canada
11 Apr 07
My daughter has a neighbour who ran a dayhome and she had similar demands, she also treated the kids very meanly, not allowing them to play with her kids toys, and making them wait until after her kids had eaten to eat. She had her licence revoked by the city last year.
3 people like this
@sarah22 (3979)
• United States
11 Apr 07
i have not had that experiance but i was always worned about home day cares. I have heared and seen some things on tv that put me off them. this women is crazy, and not to be there for you and your child but what she wanted out of it,showed shes not there for the kids but the money. good thing you did not leave your child there. thats great you found a place for him and he is safe.
2 people like this
@SaSaJ05 (22)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I would love to get my son into a licensed day care center around here, but all of them have at least a year long waiting list. Home day cares are pretty much all that is left. I can't afford not to work, so it doesn't leave me with much of an option. It was quite obvious after talking to her that all she wanted was the money. She was even telling me how she was probably going to take most Fridays off during the summer and that she would have some substitute. I'm just so glad I found the woman that my son is with now. She is amazing to him.
2 people like this
@mansha (6298)
• India
11 Apr 07
To tell you the truth stories like this make me fear ever going back to work again. I had my aunt who had baby sat few kids on regular basis but the way she kept those babies was pathetic. no hygine or cleanliness was ever observed. only thing she was good at was dressing up the kids again just before parents came to pick them up. I used to think it was horrible. that has left me with so much distaste about crexhe and day care, I am not sure I want my kid to go throught this. lets see by next july what will I choose to do, I am still postponing it as far as I can.
@cjthedog64 (1552)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I almost can't believe these stories! Well, I can, because so many people deal with their own kids like that. My DS went to a friend of ours for daycare while I worked and we didn't have any problems like that with her. I'm starting my own daycare in the next month or so and would never dream of doing anything like that. I wasn't even expecting to get a weeks' vacation, but another mom who does a daycare told me that it's standard. I'm planning activities and games and all sorts of things for the kids to do, and won't let them watch TV except for Sesame Street in the mornings (DS loves it and I wouldn't separate him from the other kids). I'm working on deep cleaning my whole downstairs area so that cleanliness won't be an issue or anything. I feel so bad for any parent or kid who has to be in a situation like that!
1 person likes this
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I have not heard of such demands and I would never accept them either. 24 days vacation wouldn't we all loved to be paid for that. You are right all kids have a time or two when they want to stay and play and I would never allow anyone to not make my child go with the person that I sent to get them. It all sounds a bit odd to me. I am lucky my kids are past that stage but I remember what it was like trying to find one. I went to one ladies house that had a "time out chair" it had a belt acrossed it to strap the child in. I left their and cried in my car for a very long time. It is really hard to find good day care. After my awful experences I learned that going to local churches and getting referrals from them worked out much better for me.
@SaSaJ05 (22)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I know I would definitely love it if I could find a job that would pay me for 24 days of vacation - especially after only working for a year. The woman has only had her daycare open for a little over a year.
That is a terrible experience! I couldn't imagine seeing smoething like that. I get so nervous about leaving my kids ANYWHERE when I hear stories like that.
1 person likes this
@xlilkttiebanix (156)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I've not dealt with that, but I'm looking into finding daycare for my children currently. I work 9 hour days, and the hours are really messed up, so I need to be able to find someone that can babysit up until 9 pm so that I can work my schedule, without having them live with me. I had a babysitter, but he up and left me hanging without any warning, and left me in a lurch. I was lucky enough that my mother was able to come stay, and watch the girls. Unfortunately, I've not been able to work this past week really, since I'm fighting my 7 year old's dad for custody, and the fact that he feels he's free to come take her whenever he wants. Facing losing my job, I don't know what to do anymore, but I'm going through the legal resources available to me, to see what can be done.
2 people like this
@ladymoonstone143 (1507)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I am just working at home and I got peace of mind that I can just take care of my toddler. Months ago, my mother inlaw proded me to look for a day care center for my toddler so she can meet other kids and socialize. So, I look around. The first day care center I went into was my last one. I met the owner, she got so many kids with her but still accepting. She was at the facility, with her tube top on and super short shorts. As she keeps on talking, my impression was getting worse and when I tour the center, I can't imagine my child being there. The place was a mess and literally not clean. I observe that she just let the kids do whatever they want...no definite activities. She got like 20 kids but it was only her and an assistant who doesn't speak the language. They got 3 rooms for different age group, so who will be watching the third room? There is only 2 of them. I was mortified. That is why I guess it is so hard to find people nowadays you can really trust to watch over your kids.
@coolchai (753)
• Philippines
12 Apr 07
that is absolutely NOT at all normal! though you are really in the mercy of a nanny but you can find a nanny who is not that demanding! i cant believe that kind of people exist. i mean if they want a job they cant dictate what they want. though i give my nanny 12 days of vacation leave. 1day per month so she can have a breather. though i also give her time to have a 2 month vacation after every 2 years though she has been with me for 5 years having no vacation leaves! so i guess giving her demands would be OK coz she has proven her loyalty and love to both of my sons. but for 1st time nanny, my gosh she must not be that demanding!
@suspendedindusk03 (319)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I certainly wouldn't leave my child with a person with such demands. And if I were running a daycare from my home I certainly wouldn't have the nerve to demand that many paid vacation days or any such crazy demands! It sounds like she's in it more for the money rather than really caring for the children.
1 person likes this
@dassilavs (47)
• Germany
12 Apr 07
...although not all child day cares are that bad - but finding the right one is a big problem ´coz it may take longer than we hope. and the licensed ones usually have a long waiting list. the NOT licensed ones are usually the only possibility although it is too risky especially when you don´t know the person -who is most likely only into it for the money. but maybe its possible that YOU KNOW a mom personally in your circle of friends who also has a child to take care to and is staying home - one child more won´t probably make a difference. like i have a 2yo at home and am staying home and would surely appreciate having a playmate for my child. my 4yo has to visit kindergarten ´coz it is much like a "must do" here in germany -and it belongs to our church and it seem to be everything ok there. although i sure would have preferred to have her at home with me ´til she goes to school...
@sanyah1988 (306)
• United States
12 Apr 07
OK WOW she sounds really crazy I have exp. something like that except she ran away with my child because zit reminded her of her own after I got my child bak I promised that I would work online so that she was always in my care.
@charlestchan (1415)
• Malaysia
12 Apr 07
i dnno much about childcare.. what i can say is.. if u wanna find 1.. find a good one.. or not.. u will know the bad consequences later on =)
@domesticengineer (576)
• Philippines
12 Apr 07
I guess we have a different situation here. Because here in the Philippines since a lot of girls aged 18 and above has no available work they would apply as babysitter in a very affordable salary. They are actually good babysitters because they have experiences in taking care of their own baby sisters or brothers. I have two babysitters now with me to look after my kids when my husband and I are out. But they are now on vacation so I have limited time here on mylot. They are like family members to us. My eldest daughter cried when they she saw them leave. She thought they'll never come back. I just explained everything to her. I can't wait to see them again.
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
11 Apr 07
It is certainly a learning experience when interviewing a babysitter. I hired a mothers' helper for my children just so I could get out and have some alone time for an hour or two a week. This college student told me that she worked at a day camp and had lots of experience babysitting. She was a nightmare. She never changed my daughter's diaper and half the time never showed up at appointed times. I do think it's a good idea to look for a stated licensed daycare center, but be wary of anything out of another person's home. For some reason they tend to make outrageous rules like you stated. I hope you can find someone you trust who isn't going to take advantage of you.
@4cuteboys (4099)
• United States
12 Apr 07
YES, I did family child care in a licensed home. The military licensed us, and WOW I saw some CRAZY contracts from some of the other providers. Outrageous requests, like getting paid for vacations (seems very unfair to me, and i would never do it), and things like that. That was in Florida. Out here in NJ they sort of look over the contracts, so it isn't as ridiculous. It's so hard to find good daycare!
