this is tricky one......not a serious one.........about best responses
By vega83
@vega83 (6342)
Bahrain
April 12, 2007 4:12am CST
okay, I couldn't think of any other title for this one.
So, here goes.
Suppose, you come around a discussion with no responses, it's not a discussion from any of your friends' list, but you like the discussion, so you take your time and give the best response to it as you can, like you would do with any other.
And then a few days later, you check your best responses section and find out that your response is marked best in this very same discussion, you also notice that it didn't get any more responses, even though it was good discussion, and you notice that the last response was from the owner of the discussion themselves.
So you excitingly open up the discussion to see what comment the owner has made on your response, and then all you find in the comment is a sort of note, explaining that they had to choose your response as the best because they didn't get any more responses. And you don't know what to say, or what to even think, because you thought that your response was good enough to be chosen as best anyway. So there's no comment or elaboration or response to your actual response, but just that note.
Has that ever happened to you?
It's happened to me, more than once now. Of course, if I'm the only responder I would automatically know why it's chosen as best, without the owner having to mention it, plus what about the fact that they didn't even choose to comment on my views on the topic? Did they even read it, or were so upset by getting no response that they just blindly marked it best just to resolve it, without even considering the actual subject matter.
What are your opinions on this one?
10 people like this
24 responses
@lossforredwords (3620)
• Philippines
12 Apr 07
Well if they choose me as best response without giving any comment from it it would be fine with me. I understand that some people just want to resolve there discussion by choosing a best response and don't bother to make any comment.
this happens to me too and I just ignore it cause I know it may don't mean anything to them. I like it more if someone left a comment to me who choose me as best response cause that means they know what they really talking and choosing about.
3 people like this
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Interesting thought-- I haven't actually run into this kind of situation, though. The closest has been a couple of my own discussions that sat for several weeks with just a single response... but I elected to NOT choose a "best response" in the hope that someone would eventually find them and get the discussion going again... which DID, indeed, happen.
I think some people just get kind of "crabby" when one of their discussions don't get an responses-- and maybe that's what you're picking up on, with your experiences. I think if it happened to me, I'd be likely to just go "hmmmm" and leave it at that... no point in losing sleep over trying to figure out someone's motivations. If their response seemed rude, I might think twice about responding to any more of their discussions.
@vega83 (6342)
• Bahrain
13 Apr 07
It's not that interesting a thought, because it's not really invented by me, it's based on a 'true' story, my own true story.
Well, I usually reply "thanks, I guess" and then maybe sometimes I'll prompt them by asking them what they thought about whatever issue it is that we are discussing, or something like that.
Plus I always just randomly choose discussions that I'd like to respond to, and I really don't remember everyone here on my lot, and I really don't wanna go through all of the trouble of consciously boycotting anyone from my response list.
@weemam (13372)
•
12 Apr 07
actually I have had quite a few best responser where I was the only response , Mainly because I try to answer some no responses every day , i have never been given an explanation with it though , sometimes the person will l wave a response to mine and sometimes there is nothing there only my answer , I always thank them anyway for giving it too me , It is still really nice of them ( I think) because there are some on the site whom I don't think ever give best responses , I really don't know if it effects our earnings , but it fair makes my day and puts a smile on my face when I get mine . I love the site anyway , Welcome to My Lot and have fun ,,,, I do xx
@vega83 (6342)
• Bahrain
13 Apr 07
Of course, I'm glad when I do get it but it only bums me out, when that becomes the end of the actual discussion and we can't continue it any further, if the starter doesn't give me any feedback on it. And I do thank them, yup, I'm sure I do.
Oh, and I do have a lot of fun too, that's the best part.
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Well, that is horrible to go and put forth your best efforts and not get any comment back besides being told you get best response by default.
I put a lot of thought into my responses. And it would kinda irritate me that nothing else was said.
But at the same time, I just shake it off and move on.
If I get best response, that is great then. At least I will get a few more pennies for being marked best response.
2 people like this
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
14 Apr 07
Thanks for the best response! :)
Its nice to be awarded for our efforts.
And even better when we get a good comment left showing that someone actually read and was interested. :)
Cheers sweetie! I look forward to reading more from ya!
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6342)
• Bahrain
13 Apr 07
oh, finally, thank you, thank you, you totally understand what I meant, I wasn't complaining, or being emotional or extra sensitive, just annoyed that I didn't get any comment on my actual response except that note. Finally, someone truly got what I meant. At least you're the first one to totally get it.
Guess what you deserve for this?
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Apr 07
LOL, what an experience!
Thinking back, I don't seem to have encountered such a time before. If mine was the only response, it would probably be chosen without any comment. Or at most, it is some thanks for responding or if it was really a good response from me, then it would be something relevant.
Maybe that discussion starter was a new guy? Well vega, just be happy you have one more best response under your belt. Don't be so fussy, alright? :P
There are many reasons for marking a best response. For a discussion that has been left idle for a long time.. to have you come and pick it up, they probably think it is manna from heaven. Chances are that they will think it is unlikely to get a further response - so they will just mark it.
Remember how I answered one of your discussions and you gave me the best response when I was the first one and only after a short time? You told me you gathered that no one would understand the discussion and answer it anyway. I said that given a bit more time, there might be more answers? And do you remember that there were indeed a few responses that came after mine? :PPP
2 people like this
@vega83 (6342)
• Bahrain
12 Apr 07
yeah, I do remember that, but i also remember mentioning that I thought your response deserved it, and I'm like that sometimes a response really hits me, and I'm like this one's it, I don't have to go through all of them weeks after to know which one I liked best, whether a discussions had 50 responses or just 5.
And hey, I didn't mean to sound fussy, that's why I said 'nothing serious' in the subject, and of course I'm glad that I get another best response falling into my lap like that, I'm not complaining here.
It's just that whenever someone comments on your response, you expect some "comment on your response", at least something, like "i agree" or "I disagree" instead of "you were the only one, so here's your best response" makes you feel that your response wasn't even good enough, when in fact it was the best you did. I deserve at least some feedback on my response about the topic, right? Every one does.
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Apr 07
Yup yup, I wasn't implying you are fussy. Far from it. :P
But you are still feeling sore, ha! :PP
2 people like this
@tonyxxx (693)
• India
12 Apr 07
Though it has happened to me that I have got the bset response as I was the only on ewho responded for the discussion but I have never got any such comment from the discussion starter.There were comments related to the response only.Well I think the situation you faced is quite funny .It is a very immature and childish behaviour on the part of the owner of the thread.I think most of the members do read the responses, even if it is the only response, for selecting the best response.As you have mentioned that there is no need to make a comment, "they didn't get any more responses that's why they are selecting it as a best response".
2 people like this
@vega83 (6342)
• Bahrain
12 Apr 07
Yeah, I mean that is self-explanatory and even if they had the need to explain that, I wouldn't mind it, but I still would have appreciated a comment on the actual response, you know, the actual topic of discussion, because if I had a comment on that, perhaps I could make my own further comments on the discussion and at least it would BE a discussion.
All I can say to a comment like that, and I can't help but comment, so I usually say, " thanks......I guess",
I mean, what more can I say to that. Or usually I put it in something like, thanks, but you gotta admit my response is good enough to at least be a candidate for best response, if you had received more responses.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
13 Apr 07
So far I don't think I have ever been the only person to respond to a discussion but if i did and the same thing happened to me. I would just think to myself I made money by getting best response so I'm not gonna complain about the fact that they didn't comment anymore .Just move on and look at the good things and don't worry about the bad. Its not worth it.
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6342)
• Bahrain
13 Apr 07
I don't mind the extra best response money either, and trust me, I'm the queen of the 'silver lining' and the 'bright side' and this case the bright side would be, that because of this story, I actually got to have another good discussion with my lotters here about the very same thing.
1 person likes this
@essilem (286)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
The reason we respond to a post is because it interest us or we have something substantial to add not necessarily to get "the best response" but if you do so in the process then it would be icing on the cake. I feel for the person who posted and there was no responses that is why i try and take time to look at it and if i have something to add then i shall post to get her discussion running. I too have my share of no response, and i feel someone finds time to post on it, lol! But if the mylotter still pssts a note that the reason she marked you best is because you are the only onee is not necessary. It's self explanatory. wee different strokes for different folks
@complexvanilla (653)
• India
13 Apr 07
Well, you are perfectly right when you say that this is a tricky question! Getting a best response when my response has been the only one has happened to me too, but fortunately for me, nobody has commented saying that they have given it to me on account of nobody else responding! I guess it is implicit, but when a person mentions it explicitly, it just takes away the pleasure one feels when one gets a 'best response'. As it is, it is an embarrassment to win a best response when nobody or very few others have responded, but to note it is like adding insult to the injury. I would never do it to anybody else.
1 person likes this
@gmbvea (19)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
i can't remember having the same experience as this before.Nevertheless, everybody presumed to be at their best in replying or providing a comment the moment our fingers hit the keys. Unconsciously, it's the inner desire of oneself to be at his best the moment one asks for the "best" replies for- whatever subject it maybe. The "do" factor of answering provides our inner intelligence to put into action the "things" that will help execute our capacity to provide information at its best, no matter how deep or shallow it maybe.As it goes, even if i'll be the only one who responded to that blog, recognizing as best is what makes me desire to do my best...
@sudeshna22 (390)
• India
13 Apr 07
What you said in you topic has not happened to me yet. But I respond to a topic if I feel to respond, without caring that whether others have responded to it or not. But if the owner choose some response as the "best response" then he should consider the subject matter of that response. In my view, if anybody gets only one response to his topic and do not feel the response as a good quality response, he should not mark it as "best response." Now marking it as the best response and at the same time leaving a negative note shows the bad nature of the owner of that discussion. It is beter that in future you do not respond to those people,who are maintaining a double standard like this.
@jc_star10 (953)
• Indonesia
13 Apr 07
I don't get a best response so often, so I don't really know how you are feeling. And I am also when mark a best response from a discussion that i made, I usually did not leave them a note. I think i should leave them a note right ? Anyway, If that happened to me, that's kind of harsh don't you think ? That means that they don't respect their own discussions and of course they don't respect you for trying answer it the best you can. When i responds and i want to make a decent posts, I can spend about few minutes to write and to think. I think hard if I want to post decent posts. Being neglected like that, that will dissapoint me.
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6342)
• Bahrain
13 Apr 07
Well, it's not that big a deal, but I guess it is something to think about. And I wouldn't exactly use the word 'neglect', that's a strong word, I would maybe it's just carelessness on their part, and not really thinking before you speak, or in this case, thinking before you write.
@tim_un (354)
• Malaysia
13 Apr 07
hello vega, yes i agree with you because sometime the poster will never check their discussion maybe due to they seldom check myLot for their discussion and if they are busy. But what you can do is, post into those posters' discussion that you know is "active" by looking at the responder and their nick name. That's what in my opinion. Hope this can help up :)
1 person likes this
@tim_un (354)
• Malaysia
13 Apr 07
hello vega, yes i agree with you because sometime the poster will never check their discussion maybe due to they seldom check myLot for their discussion and if they are busy. But what you can do is, post into those posters' discussion that you know is "active" by looking at the responder and their nick name. That's what in my opinion. Hope this can help up :)
1 person likes this
@sensesfail (2251)
• India
12 Apr 07
No, i never knew people could be so rude.My responses have been selected a few for best response when there haven't been any other response to it.But no one has ever written something to me.I guess they know that it would rub me the wrong way.
In fact they would have to be grateful that we responded to them otherwise they would not would not get credit for it.I guess there always exist people are real losers.
1 person likes this
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
12 Apr 07
If somebody left a note that my response was chosen the best because they didn't get any more responses, I think I wouldn't really mind at all. But then, the fact that the thread owner explained why it was chosen and did not even comment on the post itself, I got to say that he shouldn't have bothered with the elaborate explanation, thank you! Because it's like saying it to your face that 'hey, I didn't have a choice'. Luckily I haven't experienced this yet. But then if I it does happen to me in the future, I wouldn't want to stress over these things and rather concentrate on responding to other and more discussions. I try to shed my sensitive side whenever I'm in mylot. Members here have different personalities and it's a fact that we can't please everybody. If you take things personally here, you'll just end up leaving the community or making enemies in the process. Not to mention the negative rating anyone can hit anytime.
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6342)
• Bahrain
13 Apr 07
Well, this isn't a sensitive discussion anyway, or complaining either, it was just a curiously odd thing and I decided to start a discussion about it to see how odd it really was. I don't take things personally anyway, and don't believe in making enemies, so no worries there.
But thanks for the advice, anyway.
@nowment (1757)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I haven't really checked enough to see if I have this kind of best response. I would however be disappointed that they didn't respond.
I have had discussions where no one responded then suddenly one person did, I answered the response, then I suppose because of that others began to answer it. I have had it happen when no one else answered it as well.
But the point of the topic for me is to get the discussion going exchange views, so that kind of reponse would be disappointing.
1 person likes this
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
12 Apr 07
I actually had this happen. I responded to a discussions a while back that didn't have any responses. When I checked my Best response page a few days later, I noticed it had been marked as Best response with a comment from the author of the discussion.
They didn't say anything about choosing my response as best because it was the only one though. They actually made a nice point about some of the things I'd brought up in my response and told me that they agreed with them lol.
I guess some people may be upset at getting just one response but I personally don't see the issue. One response is better than none at all.
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6342)
• Bahrain
13 Apr 07
That's what I wanted, i don't mind that they mentioned the reason for choosing my response as best, I just wanted that feedback on the points I'd made in my response.
And I've marked best responses this way too, when I got just one response, but I never just mentioned that I had no other choice but to choose theirs and then not give them feedback about the actual discussion.
That's the issue.
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I've never had that happen to me, but I can see where you would be upset. It's like being picked last for volley ball in gym class. They have to pick you because you were the last one not taken for a side. It would have been nice if the poster who began the thread could have commented on the content of your post rather than pointing out that they had no choice. That would have been the smart thing to do here. You really want to make friends on this site...not enemies.
