what would you do?

@kiwikidz (753)
New Zealand
April 12, 2007 7:31am CST
What would you do if you were invited to eat at a neighbours home where they eat totally different food to you. I had this experience tonight and I hope I handled it well. I was invited to eat an extremely "hot" meal with different courses, each one I'm sure hotter than the other, I cannot eat spicy food as I suffer with stomache ulcers and have to watch what I eat, so when the first dish was presented I ate a megar amount and had plenty of fluids with it which set me up well for the next course, which I did the same for, I had to refuse the next course and hoped that I did not offend the neighbours. When I left I thanked them for the extremely wonderful meal they had put on. I hope I did okay.
8 people like this
36 responses
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I believe I would have to take me some medication before I ate the food the neighbors had prepared for me. I love hot, spicy foods though. I would want to make sure I was protected from the food affecting my ulcers. I would try the foods they prepared for me. I'm sure you did not offend the neighbors. Did they know you suffer from ulcers and that spicy foods affects it? It really sounds like you did try the food and I bet they felt okay with the amount you ate. At least you tried it. Did it have an affect on your stomach ulcers after you ate it? If so, I beleive I would have to explain to them next time, that you just cannot eat that type of food because of your medical condition.
2 people like this
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
13 Apr 07
I would love to eat spicy foods but my stomach wouldn't. It was very nicely presented and one or two of the courses were only lightly spiced. One of the courses was with rice and capsicums, I just ate as much of the rice as possible as I love rice. If I am asked back for a meal again I would certainly try to say to them that my 'condition' does not allow too much spicy foods.
@4cuteboys (4102)
• United States
12 Apr 07
That would make me so uncomfortable! You did great, much better than I would have. I don't even know how I would have behaved in that situation. I also don't eat spicy foods..so I probably would have tried to leave as soon as possible and thanked them. It was really nice that you ate some even though it wasnt good for your tummy.
2 people like this
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
13 Apr 07
Thanks for the response to this discussion. I did feel a bit uncomfortable but I tried not to show my timid side, I am quite shy when meeting people and the thing that I find the hardest is eating around people I don't know, but I'm sure that will change as I get to know these people.
• United States
12 Apr 07
It sounds to me like you handled it very well. And kudos to you for going and trying something new. Did you tell them spicy foods hurt you? I would have done the same thing as you, trying it and thanking them nicely for the great time and meal.
2 people like this
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
13 Apr 07
Thankyou for your comments. I didn't tell them, they are both men, one really young and one a lot older, the younger one is learning from the older one, and as I don't know them that well I chose not to say anything about medical problems I have, maybe will if I get to know them a bit better.
• United States
12 Apr 07
I have had stomach surgery so I can't eat some things. When faced with foods that will give me problems I just politely tell them that it looks and smells wonderful but I can't. I explain (not in gross detail) that I am not able to eat certin foods due to a medical condition. I think this would work for you too.
1 person likes this
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
15 Apr 07
Sorry to hear about the stomach surgery, hope all is well with you now. Thanks for the comment. I suppose you would have to tell your hosts that with your stomach problem it would be impossible to eat some types of food, it can be hard sometimes especially when it looks and smells yummy but you know you will be very sick if you touch it, and I came home that night and was quite sick with the little bit I ate.
@KissThis (3006)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I use to have neighbors who liked extremely hot foods as well. I explained to them that I couldn't eat spicy foods because I was on a very bland diet due to my health. This made things alot easier on us both. I think that it is easier to explain to someone up front what the problem is so that they can understand why I wouldn't be able to eat much food.
1 person likes this
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
13 Apr 07
I would probable say something if I get invited out again, there is a little bit of a language barrier at moment, and as the tea was already cooked when I got there I felt I couldn't say anything, but I just tried some of the food which was very nicely prepared. Thanks for the response to this discussion.
@martinha (631)
• Portugal
12 Apr 07
You handled it very well but I wouldn't be able to do it. I love to eat and when I don't like it, I just can't eat it, it's even worse if it's bad for my stomach because afterwards I will be in pain. I know you didn't want to offend them but you should have said you couldn't eat spicy food. You could feel really bad after eating that kind of food, imagine if something happened to you in there, it would have been very bad. As you thanked they for "the wonderful meal" mayve they thought you really liked it and will invite you to join them at dinner again. Just imagine that!!
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
16 Apr 07
Thanks for your response to this discussion. I felt I was in a pretty awkward position at the time with people I did not know well and not too sure what the food would be like until I tasted it, I did like it and it was presented lovely but just a bit too spicy for me, I did the next day say thankyou for the lovely meal and that I could not eat really hot spicy meals.
• United States
12 Apr 07
I have had this happen and in my circumstances I hate the food and regretted it for a week since it destroyed my stomach so much I had to seek medical treatment. Ever since I voice my opinion right up front and tell them my stomach won't allow me to eat such foods and I would glad to stay for the company and have a drink but the food will not do that much pain to me again. I make sure of that.
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
15 Apr 07
It's a bit hard I find to just be up front and say I can't eat this and that before you get to their place for a meal especially when you don't know the people well and don't understand their language and culture, we don't have many people in this township from overseas, a few tourists here and there. I did thank them however the next day for the lovely meal but that I couldn't eat the really spicy foods.
12 Apr 07
Wouldnt it have been better to be upfront about it and explain that you can not eat hot foods due to health problems? I love new foods and would love the experience.
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
15 Apr 07
I should have been I suppose when they asked but it is very hard to understand the language and I really didn't want to offend them as they have only been here a few months. I did thank them the next day and said I couldn't eat really hot spicy foods. Thankyou for your response to this discussion.
@babystar1 (4235)
• United States
12 Apr 07
Well if this was me,and I knew that they were going to make something that was hot ,I would of told them thanks but I am sorry that I can not eat this kind of food, because of my stomache ulcers.I don't think they would of felt bad about it. Maybe the next time they would invite you over they will have something that you can eat.
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
15 Apr 07
Thankyou for your response to this discussion. I think they eat hot spicy foods most of the time as you can smell the food every teatime and it always smells the same, a couple of the other neighbours have been over at different times and they said they ate hot and spicy meals, I have invited them to eat at my home but as yet have not said they will, so I suppose I will just have to wait and see what happens.
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I would say you handled this situation very well - much better than I would have. I'm afraid if I knew the people were going to fix food that I couldn't eat that I would have nicely declined the invitation or would have done something like mentioned my eating concerns and possibly offered to bring something I could eat without causing health problems.
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
15 Apr 07
Hi, thanks for your response to this discussion. I had refused an invitation the week before so didn't want to make it look like I didn't want to eat with them, I am a fairly timid sort of person and don't like to affend anyone so I went over for tea, I did really enjoy their company although I couldn't understand the language very well and I am a bit deaf so I just politely ate what I could and after a while just thanked them for the meal and went home, I was a bit crook during the night though. The next day I thanked them and said that I couldn't eat really hot spicy meals. So hopefully they will invite me back.
• India
12 Apr 07
Well i think what you did is a right thing,sometimes it happens when you don't want to offend someone or to refuse somethin but you get yourself in such a situation that you end beinng or thinkin that you have offended or insulted the other,you don't have to worry about others you top priority should be yourself,and waht you did was right otherwiseyou could have landed yourself in a big mess!!!!!!!!!!
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
15 Apr 07
Thankyou for your comments, I was really hoping that I had not offended anyone, as they are a different culture and from overseas, I find it a bit hard to understand the language and I am a little bit deaf as well, so I just appologised the next day and thanked them for the meal but also said I was sorry that I coudn't eat very hot spicy meals.
• United States
25 Apr 07
You did fine honey. If you are very friendly with them, you may consider explaining that down the road to them. Otherwise, you will have to decline in the future, or do what you did. Usually, people should ask their guests if there is something that they don't like or cannot eat. That is propper manners. But, you did fine sugar. Have a great day. I rated you a + for a fine posting. It will help you with your stars and points.
@aweins (4203)
• India
25 Apr 07
once i also faced such a problem when i was invited by my friend on their festive occasion and i knew before hand only that it will be a very difficult situation for me to face at that time. but i left everything on time and GOD. i went there and there every item was spicy and full of oil, very rich food, all non-veg items cooked. but i m strict vegetarian. it was difficult for me to say no. my friend said, that i can eat egg based things, but i dont even eat egg, so i said that i m having ulcers in stomach so my eating all this tyope of stuff is banned. they also ten didn't forced me and i was also comfortable. GOD , i just thanked him for saving me at that time. After reading your discussion i was shocked that something as same as happened to me can happen to someone else too.
• United States
13 Apr 07
It seems like you handled the meal very well. You were polite in declining the next course. It's great that you went to their home to experience new dishes. I'm sure if you explained to them that you and spicy foods do not get along that they would be understanding. If I were invited to a neighbors to eat I would probabl ask about what they were thinking of serving and making sure they kno a few of the things I do not like so that it would not make for as much of an ackward moment later on. But I would be happy to go and try new foods.
@sensesfail (2251)
• India
13 Apr 07
Now thats an example of being polite.That wouldn't have been a problem for me cuz i love to try out new stuff.Besides there 's nothing hard in trying something new.But in your case you had ulcer and handled it very well. My sister too has ulcer and I've seen being choosy on whatever she eats.But she never minds going out a straight no cuz she's the one going through the whole ulcer thing and if she doesn't pass on that, the ultimate suffer would be her. Besides people usually understand when you say that you've got ulcer.So there's no need to have been so polite.But anyways that was so nice of you for having dealt it that way.
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
ive tried that too but i seemed to like their food and it is totally great and deliciouse.maybe we just have different taste...
@adicsen (32)
• India
13 Apr 07
Yes u have done better to ur extent.But first keep yourself healthy..Becz ur healthy then can able to attend several parties n can be no bother of any type of food..So health is wealth..This is ur photo the child is nice.. Bye take care.
• United States
13 Apr 07
That was a very polite way of doing it and I think you did it right! But what will you say next time they invite you over to dinner? :)
@igloo85 (150)
• China
13 Apr 07
I have dinners with my friends, who cook for us. We come from different places. Our tast is different. Sometimes, the dishes she love she will often buy it, but i hate it, i won't speak out, I will have a few stands for i am not hate the dish.
@suman76 (648)
• India
13 Apr 07
Party - Enjoying the party at neighbour . The Party was well organised.
Nicely handled by you. You are good to handle the situation. Infact If I were in your place I would have to take some to think that what should I do. But you have done extremely good.