The Good Husband (Joke)

United States
April 13, 2007 3:39pm CST
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean?I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!" Broken Coffee Table $239.99 Hot Breakfast $4.20 Two Aspirins $.38 Saying the right thing, at the right time . . PRICELESS
5 people like this
11 responses
• United States
22 Apr 07
That was awesome! Thanks so much for sharing. I needed a big belly laugh today :D
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Apr 07
I love it Texasgal! It's so hilarious yet so sweet. And of course, if I was in the same situation, I'll do the same. To say the right words at the right time, is really priceless! Thank you for this post, funny and inspiring! Have a nice day! (^^,)
@gberlin (3836)
16 Apr 07
That is a great joke! Thanks for sharing it!
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 07
oh my gosh, thanks for the laugh! the kids brought flu home from school this week and we've all been taking turns, so a good laugh is truly truly appreciated this morning, thanks!
• United States
14 Apr 07
WOW!! he got lucky with that!!
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
14 Apr 07
I really like this joke; got a good laugh at the end. Im not sure if I would maky my husband a cooked brekky if he had vomited in the hallway!
@marciascott (25550)
• United States
14 Apr 07
that was very funny I loved the story. How are you this eveing, have a nice week-end!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (128563)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Well I like this take off on the commercial for the credit cards, and I like the positive twist. Not all husbands are lying, cheating jerks, even when they are drunk. Glad for the happy twist, even if it is a joke. Jokes often have their beginning in truth.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10715)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Now that is cute - or "priceless". When I started reading it reminded me of some old friends - he was a drunk and she'd about had enough of it. One night he came home in bad shape, passed out in the bed, and started snoring loudly. She was annoyed to begin with but couldn't sleep because of his snoring. Not really thinking she bunched him, she said it felt so good she did it again, and then again. She messed him up pretty bad. The next morning he was sure he'd been in an accident or bar fight. When he couldn't figure out what happened to his face and her feeling very quilty she finally confessed. He quit drinking that day and didn't for nearly a year - said he knew he was in bad shape if his wife could do that much damage to him and he didn't even know.
1 person likes this
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
13 Apr 07
That is so so cute!! Thanks for sharing it!!
@finlander60 (1804)
• United States
22 Apr 07
As usual, you have managed to come up with one that I will repeat. Provided I can remember it. Thank you very much.