My brother is using drugs again..

@Marie2473 (8523)
Sweden
April 17, 2007 10:34am CST
I do not know what to do.. For some reason I belived that the nightmare was truly over. He has been clean for a few years and I really thought that the past was passed. I am not sure when it started again - but for 2 weeks now he has been constantly high. My family all feel powerless and have no idea on how to move on, we haven´t recovered from the last time yet. My stomach aches - my head pounds (probably from high bloodpreassure) I can not sleep and not concentrate on anything. I feel so numb... I just wish that he would see what he is doing to himself AND to the whole family. I wish he would see that he is breaking my parents and me in small pieces, bit by bit.. i wish he would see how much he hurts us all... I can not belive that we will be forced to go through it all again - last time I was on the edge of even killing myself coz I just couldn´t take it anymore.... Will i be stronger this time? I am just soooo depressed right now.. Just wanna go home and cry, but no - i am an adult - i have a responsibility against my work... So I will stay - I will smile for the clients - but inside I am crying........
9 people like this
8 responses
• United States
17 Apr 07
Hey, I know how you feel. Know that you are not alone. Users don't think of anyone else but themselves. They don't consider the impact of how it effects those that love them. I wish there was something more I could do. I guess the best thing we can do is breathe and cry on each other's shoulders. Huggers to you Marie.
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
17 Apr 07
yeah, they become incrediably selfish...
3 people like this
• United States
17 Apr 07
Just keep your chin up my dear. I have given this over to the good Lord. I cannot fix them, neither can you. Huggers to you.
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
18 Apr 07
it is out of our hands =(
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
17 Apr 07
OKay I'm goin to be brutally honest here and I'm sorry if I sound harsh, I dont mean to... he is NOT going to see it and EVEN IF he did...HE WONT CARE...I'm sorry but he wont....when I was using hardcore I didnt care about what it was doign to my kids or my husband...all I cared about was getting my next hit...Its painful to hear but it IS reality... Here is something else you wont want to hear either...if he isnt goin to get help and get away from the area then I think you and your family need to cut ties with him...He WILL have to completely change his lifestyle and from the sounds of it since he did fall off the wagon, he needs to get the hell outta dodge to do it.... I've been clean for almost 5 yrs now BUT if I were to move back to my country/hometown I WOULD get high all over again in a matter of months I would most definately fall off the wagon.... Finally, he has to WANT to get it together above all else or its pointless...doing it for you or your family isn't going to help him or keep him clean...he has to want to do it FOR HIM and him alone/ first a foremost My heart goes out to you....I know how much damage us junkies can cause our loved ones on so many levels....Hang in there.....
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
17 Apr 07
Thanx alot for your comment. I am aware of the fact that he needs to do it for himself and that he is in a stage where he cares about noone, but like you said - it doesn´t make it any easier. i am usually a very strong person, but when it comes to my family I just cant bare to see them suffer. I just HATE it. All i can do now is to hope that he will straighten out like he has once before and that he is able to keep it this time.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Apr 07
You are exactly right Ravenladyj
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
18 Apr 07
hi marie.. plz be strong. if u r not strong enough..ur family will fall down easily..there must be at least someone who is strong to stand by them ..i kanow how u feel and i know how u think..because i have heavy problem myself and sometime it made me feel like i want kill myself..but..deep down inside me..i want to live longer so that i can see the changes in the future..
3 people like this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
18 Apr 07
Killing oneself is not the solution though and I will got through this with my head high!
@liranlgo (5743)
• Israel
17 Apr 07
Dear friend, i am so sorry to hear that you are going through this tragic story again. Being an addict is a sad story, and there is never a guarantee that the person that is using, or that stopped using will keep himself clean. I do not know what is your brother's situation right now, but i do believe that you and the whole family did everything to help him the last time, in every way. I am going to tell you something that maybe you are not thinking of right now, but as you described your situation, i really do not know if you can do anything to help him now, except force him out of the house, and register him in a rehab center. But the main point is, that you have to be far away from the situation right now, because it is breaking you. If i knew of a way, except the one that i told you, then i would tell you marie, to stay with him. But no it is not possible. With all of the pain and the worries that you are feeling towards the loved one and his situation, you will have to leave it. and take care of yourself. Keep your strength to when he comes back from the rehab center, then he will need you more then he does now. hope everything will be solved.
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
18 Apr 07
I so wish that I could distance myself - but that is very hard, coz even if he is a junkie, he´s also my brother =( I will keep away for a while though, coz like u said, it is breaking me
@mesmes (21)
• Indonesia
18 Apr 07
i advice if you trust God. Don't worry you just pray and believe Him very deep in your heart. I believe God will help you.God created us so God could heal us.
@usama46 (863)
• Pakistan
17 Apr 07
so sad it is very bad and i hope will not this again.
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
17 Apr 07
Thanx for commenting.
1 person likes this
@us2owls (1681)
• United States
18 Apr 07
I agree with ravenladyj - you need to cut the ties with him - its called TOUGH love. Suggest to him that he gets help now and if he doesn't let him go it on his own - find his own home and be completely on his own with no family connections. That might shake him into getting the help that he needs.
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
18 Apr 07
Thanx for your advice
• India
18 Apr 07
it is really a matter of tense and thinking.i think u should take ur brother to any physcratist and take some advice from him if he say to admit ur brother then admit him for few days.i think it helps.
1 person likes this