an honest opinion badly needed

sorry to hear that. I don't think you are overreacting. I think that your man should include you in the conversation and make you feel comfortable. He should tell his family that you are a part of his life now and tell them they need to respect you when they come to your house. If he really loved you then he would protect you and stand up for you. I hope things work out.good luck

Dear i'm sure your partner knows about this. From my own point of view, he just don't want to entertain this issue because he can't really defend you from his family. Maybe it's about time to talk to him more seriously on this matter. About he way you feel when getting ignored by his family members. You lay your cards. When you're about to do this, please be ready for the result may it be good or bad. A man who cannot defend your from his family is an example of a man who can't stand on his own feet. Why bother living with a man like this when he doesn't even consider your feelings?

nope. you aren't overracting. you do have feelings and your feelings are just right. i would get mad, too if i am in that situation as well. being treated as a ghost... like i don't exist at all. i think i can take it being ignored by the relatives. but the way the husband acted, i will feel really depressed and frustrated about the whole situation. your man should be the one making you feel you are a part of the family. atleast make you feel that even if he loves his family, he loves you more than them. atleast give you the feeling of security that he will choose you over his family. i am sad to hear that you are in such a situation. i hope you can talk to your partner more. you both need to talk. and if you kept on getting hurt with the situation, you better listen to your heart... your heart always knows what to do. take care.

No you are not over reacting. There is no doubt that what you feel is real. If they wanted you in the family they would welcome you and not shut you out. The question is what is causing it. Your man is not being on your side. This is not at all good for you. Sure he doesn't want to be in the middle as that is a very hard place to be but he needs to be more for you than he is. You are in a bad place here. You are separated, not divorced, from you husband but living with this guy. I am sorry to tell you this but if you were to get a divorce I think you may find him quite different. Right now he has his cake and can eat it too. He has you to sleep with but there is no danger of you wanting to get married. At least that is where he could be at. One way to find out, and I truly hope I'm wrong, is to tell him you are getting the divorce from your husband. Set a time frame so that he will think you will be free within that time frame. See how he reacts to that news. If he is all for it...great. But you may see a different side of him. Right now his family either doesn't like you or doesn't think you will be around long so will not get close. My guess it's the second one. You must take action and find out where you stand. If he loves you and your children as he should to marry you he should be standing beside you even against his family. And if he did his family would come around.

When my current hubby and I hooked up I was still married, and going through a horribly messy divorce. His family was okay towards me, but I think they were shocked when their 19 year old son came home with a 26 (almost 27)year old and her 5 year old daughter. They were a little apprehensive about the situation at first, as my family was towards him too, nobody really wanted to take our relationship seriously except us! You need to make an effort to make your presence in the household known, after all you are the woman of the house. Eventually they will get used to you and warm up, it just takes time. There is all this automatic judgement that comes with beginning a new relationship before your old one is legally finished, bear with it, and keep making your feelings known to your partner, just don't get hysterical about it when you are talking to him. It'll work out if it was meant to be, it's just going to take a little effort on your part and some time for his family to see you for the type of person you are.

It is such a hard situation when you both come from broken marriages. I am sure that his family probably is concerned for him. They may think that he is making another mistake with his life ~ as his first marriage must have been a mistake. I do think that if they are in your house, they should show you some respect. Talk this over with your man, and be very calm about it. Don't let it get into an arguement. Ask him to talk to his family and ask them to respect you while in your home or he will not be inviting them over. Hopefully he will take your side on this. If not, you might want to reevaluate your situation.

That must be frustrating for you... kuya means brother doesn't it???? My best friend is from the phillapines and her son calls his brother that.... I find it rude of them to only speak or direct their speech only to your partner... He should be trying to help you fit in with his family and make you welcome more than anything... It must be hard but you need to discuss with him your feelings and if he really loves you and wants to be with you he needs to make more of an effort too...

Oh that is terrible that they treat you like this what is wrong with them they sound like they have not much respect for you. Oh I do believe that this is a lot to do with your man and he should talk to his family about this and sort out the problem if he really wants to be with you and treat you as a person that he wants to be with. No I do not believe that you are overreacting at all. I would hate it and say something to my new man.

It sounds like they don't approve of you because you are married and living with their son or brother or whatever. They probably donut understand why you are still married yet living with another man so quickly. I don't think I would approve either. If you were divorced that would be another thing completely. They have different morals then you do. Since the whole entire family is against you then I think there is something wrong with the picture. If there isn't then your boyfriend needs to tell them if they cannot treat you with the respect he thinks you deserve they don't need to come over anymore. Maybe things will get better for you when you get your divorce. If they don't then you need to find out what the problem with all of these people really is.

I guess the root of all these is that you're still married in papers and you have a child with another man. We, Filipinos have some beliefs that are not really reasonable and just because of that people will put you down and criticize you as if you're a criminal. Why can't we open our hearts and let others make new beginnings without being judged. Well, if your partner really loves you then he'll make his way to get you into the acceptance of his family. Just be humble and never do what your feelings are forcing you to do. Compose yourself and let your love lead you to your happiness.

well, i'm so sorry to hear that. maybe you should try to work things slowly. they should see that your intentions are good. maybe they are just trying to protect their brother or something. i cant be sure. how about you try to do things that will make them like you. small thoughtful things. but dont do it in a rush..dont be in a hurry for these guys to like you, things will work out in due time. let time take it's course.. just be true to your self. but dont hate them too, becaue if you will, then there will never be any hope of peace and reconciliation between you and his family. dont keep grudges. just pray and lift everything to the almighty father. ask for his guidance to that he may make you strong in this trial..good luck dear. keep strong!:)

That is so sad to hear. I also sometimes get such a treatment where people who love me dont explain our relationship to their family members. It becomes very uneasy when they dont pay any attention to us when his/her family members are home. But i think you should straight forward pseak to your mate. Ask him whats wrong with him? why isnt he introducing you to her cousins and make them understand that how much you love eachother. And i tell you they will surely understand. And why shouldnt they? after they are his family members right? Remember one thing, if u want a healthy and comfortable relationship with ur buddy, then talk everything openly with him. Be very frank. Be sweet to his cousins. Ask them what they would like for dinner. Make special dishes for them. Make things cheerful and i it will surely make some difference in few days.. hope this helps, bye...

i am sorry to hear that you are in a inhospitality family,you man is not doing anything between you and your family,you must feel too disappiontment.

My husband's mom actually takes major precautions just to avoid me. It drives me nuts. If she's dropping something off she'll call my husband at work and tell him to tell me to get it off the door step, and if she's picking something up she'll call him and have him call me to put it in the mailbox or on the doorstep so she can pick it up. This actually started when he talked to he and told her she should maybe take a step back and let me take care of him. She'd gotten so bad that she would call every morning at 6 am, knowing he leaves at 5:45 just to be sure he didn't oversleep and wouldn't be too late to work. he's usually already out the door and i'm asleep. She would avoid talking to me in conversations that we were all involved in. What i did and it worked really well was sit him down after she'd left one day and explain to him what had bothered me using examples from what had just happened so it would be fresh in both our minds. That got him to finally decide to talk to her, that's how we ended up with the doorstep method, lol. I don't think you're overreacting, i think you two should sit down and discuss it, if he loves you he'll be willing to discuss a way to fix it with you. If he's not willing to talk to his family about it then maybe you should think about what you yourself need to do either with or about him. Noone should be made to feel foolish in their own home. His family doesn't have to like or love you but they should atleast respect that you live there and that you are with him. If they don't have enough respect and love for him to make some adjustments then he needs to see that. this is hurting you, that should be his main concern.