I dont want my little girl to be a tom-boy

United States
April 23, 2007 11:35pm CST
I have a 9mo old little girl she is the only girl in the family right now everyone eles has boys 12 in all and she has two brothers and now that she is walking she wants to do every thing they do.i want her to be a girl not one of the boys what should I do.I never even wanted a girl and then she was born and now I want her to be my pretty little girl.Can any one help me keep my baby girl a little girl.
8 people like this
20 responses
• United States
24 Apr 07
Invite friends over that have girls in their families for play dates. Just because she does what the guys do doesn't mean she will be a tom boy. I grew up with 2 older brothers and a lot of male cousins and I was a little bit of both. I would play with the boys and dress up and play with my dolls
3 people like this
• United States
24 Apr 07
Thank you it helps to here from someone who has been there I just worry to much I think.
3 people like this
@Gemmygirl1 (2871)
• Australia
24 Apr 07
Well, in my family there was only 1 boy & he didn't grow up girly :) He's got a professional football career (Australian Rules), he's in to his cars & all the usual stuff guys are in to (he's 19 now). I, on the other hand, went through the tomboy stage, i loved playing football, i love cars (still) & would love to be a mechanic (still), i dress usually in jeans & a jumper or t-shirt coz i have never been interested in the girly things, so i don't think there's much anyone can do to stop her being a tomboy if that's what she likes! I have a 10 month old now & i dress her in pretty little girly clothes, she has loads of toys (which does include a musical circus train) - she only has 1 or 2 actual dolls but will be getting more as she gets older. Like someone else mentioned, invite people over who have little girls, it might help a bit, don't be too concerned, being the only girl she might just want to be different to the boys! Good luck with that but still, don't be too concerned if she ends up being a tomboy - she'll grow out of it!
@cyrile07 (236)
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
hi :) dont worry she is still young, just be around her and let her do things she want to do but tell her the things as well that a girl should do or play... tell her the difference between a boy and a girl.. and just be there for her.. I also has 4 brothers and i thought that i would become one of them but my mom let me do things i love to do but still she encourage me to be a lady and tell me things about a lady should do.. its really on the upbringing of your kids... your pretty little girl will soon be an amazing lady.. that's for sure.. guide her all the way...
3 people like this
@syain1972 (1011)
• Singapore
24 Apr 07
I think the most important thing is the bonding between mother and daughter. I was atomboy when I was younger and I started to be more feminine only towards my teens after puberty. Mothers play a major role because the things that you do with your daughter is important. I make a point to dress my daughter more feminine and I do a lot of girl stuffs like going shopping, hair salon and etc with her. I even buy her girl toys and sweet bed linen to encourage her to be more girlie.
3 people like this
@coolcatzz (1589)
• Canada
24 Apr 07
I thinking growing up with brothers that does happen a lot. All you can really do is hopefully give her social time with other little girls. Especially when she is a bit older. Also dress her like a girl too. Many mothers just throw on track suits and nothing really girly. I guess all you can do is try.
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
24 Apr 07
Since she does most of the playing with boys, she doesnt know much else. Maybe it wouldnt hurt to join a playgroup or somehting so that she can interact with other boys... I do belive that this is something that also will go away with time and that u have nothing serious to worry about.
2 people like this
@wolves69 (756)
• United States
24 Apr 07
Kids will be kids. They have there personalities at birth, and only they can truly change it. I agree, exposure to girls of the same age is important, but eventually, the girl will be a girl. Sometimes later then you'd want. Enjoy the kids while they are young, protect them, teach them, and provide them with strong values and beliefs. Let them experience life and generally they'll be just fine.
2 people like this
@KissThis (3008)
• United States
24 Apr 07
My daughter is now almost nine years old. Except for when she goes to school she is surrounded by boys. She is very much a girly girl as she calls it. Just because she has been raised around boys hasn't made her into a tomboy. I continued to buy her pretty girl clothes as well as girl toys. She played cars and all with the boys but she also has gotten them to play with her toys as well. Install in her how wonderful it is to be a girl , I think that helps.
2 people like this
@deebomb (15347)
• United States
24 Apr 07
I raised 2 boys and 2 girls. They were all close in age having 18 month between some. Wel I wanted a girl and when I got her I wanted Her to be the girly girl but she decided to be a tom boy. The youngest girl wwas the one one to play tea party and liked to wear dress and so forht. The older one is the one to be advensuresome. and is getting ahead. The girly one is is doing more struggling. So Which is best? Let her be herself but provide her with the girl toys too.
• United States
24 Apr 07
I think it is just a phase we all go through. I was the only child at home when I was growing up, my sister was in college and my brother in the army. I had mostly little girl friends that would come over to play, and the occasional boy. But, still I went through the tom-boy phase, and then just one day it was over. I don't know if every girl goes through this, but I think we all do have a little bit of tom-boy in us. Just be there for here, and help her to know how pretty she is when she is all dressed up. Keep buying little girl things and have fun with her playing dress up and barbie dolls. That is the best advice that I can give.
1 person likes this
@wenfri (1188)
• Canada
24 Apr 07
That's is a really tough call. I had an older brother and 2 younger sisters. I was a Tom boy and probably still am LOL My brother was more feminine than I was (at least that is what I keep telling him) We have 1 granddaughter (the only one) She has a younger brother. Plays with her little girl friends all the time She would much rather wear jeans and play trucks etc that bbe a little lady Wish the best of luck Seems they turn out the way they want to Not much we can do about it. It's in their genes (jeans)so to speak Wendy
1 person likes this
@thai11 (239)
• United States
24 Apr 07
My mom tried to make me a girly-girl and she had me in the ballet, tap, gymnastic classes. Cute little dresses with bows in my hair and all. I changed out of that stage myself, I am an only child and on my block where I grew up, it was all boys. So all my playmates when i was young, were boys and i wanted to do what they were doing- running around getting dirty, not playing with dolls inside my room! So I turned into a tom-boy until I hit high school and now I am pretty girly! So don't lose hope if your daughter wants to be a Tom-boy- it won't be forever!!
1 person likes this
@Arkadus (899)
• Canada
25 Apr 07
Well that having friends with daughters her age may or may not help. Just because she's got two brothers doesn't mean she'll be a tomboy. Nor does her having female friends gaurantee she'll act femenine. Personally if she were my daughter it wouldn't bother me. I'd identify witha tomboy better than a "normal" person. Besides, gender roles are over-rated.
• Philippines
25 Apr 07
always try to talk to her...dressed her as what a girl really look like...teach her the things the girls do..give her those toys that may help her understand til she grow up that she's a girl...starting it on a childs early days may help the child to understand what she really is...and tell it to her when she start to understand everything in this world..that GOD had just created to kind of person..a man and woman...those person that who dont like the personality that GOD gave to them is a sinful person...=)
• United States
25 Apr 07
You should let your little girl be what she wants to be. If she wants to be a tom boy then let her. If you try to mold her into your frilly little girl and she doesn't want that, she might resent you. Parents should let kids be themselves, not what they want them to be.
@brokentia (10396)
• United States
24 Apr 07
It is actually very normal for her to follow her siblings around at this age. And just because her siblings are boys, does not mean she will be a tomboy. :) And being a tomboy is not so bad. I was a tomboy when I was young...but I grew up and learned of my girly ways. When I was young, I was out there playing ball with the rest of them. But now, I am such a girl, I have to giggle when my sister points it out. ha ha At the same time, I am also very strong. I will not cry if I break a nail and I will go head to head with a man without worrying about difference of genders. Keep in mind though too...as she grows up, she will look to you as her role model. So, if you are girly, it is less likely that she will be a tomboy.
@mememama (3077)
• United States
24 Apr 07
She'll probably be a tom-boy until she goes to school. My dad wanted my sister and I to be boys, so we played with cars and tools until kindergarten when we started to make more friends that were girls. Regardless, she'll do what she wants to do anyways. My sister in law is a tom-boy and I can't ever see her acting more girly, it's just who she is.
@emeraldisle (13158)
• United States
24 Apr 07
Well I don't think you need to worry especially right now since she's not even a year old. Overall children need to be true to themselves. Let her be what she wants to be. If she wants to play baseball and climb trees so let her. My sister did all that while wearing a skirt because that was all my mom bought her to wear. It didn't stop her from doing what she wanted, just made it more difficult. For myself I was both. I did everything the boys did along with playing with dolls and doing dress ups. You really don't want to force her to be something she is not. Allow her to be whatever she is meant to be. Offer both to her and see what she wants. It really is best. You don't want to have her later in life resenting the choices you made for her and trust me that can happen. When one is allowed to be oneself they are generally happier.
@rx4life (1935)
• United States
24 Apr 07
Don't worry about it so much...I was the only girl and there were 3 boys..I loved to do what they did..but also developed my own interests and style...I played with the little girls in my neighborhood and friends that would come over...but I loved that my mom didn't try to make me too "girlie" ...I came into that part of my life on my own with my friends...I got to enjoy both worlds...climbing the trees and playing baseball and playing with dolls and dressing up in play clothes...I was well balanced in that I liked to wear pants and dresses..liked to play dolls and cars...liked to go hiking and dancing...it's all a balance and you'll find it for her...some girls are so pushed by their parents that they become sort of overdone as a girl...( can't play in the dirt, can't roll in the grass... have to have bows in their hair all the time...have to be fragile)...a well rounded little girl is the best..one that can run with the boys and still play with her tea set...You'll see her go through many stages...and they are all natural... just enjoy every minute of her sweet self!!!!:)
@pendragon (3354)
• United States
24 Apr 07
You don't want to ostracize her because of her gender,she may rebel or feel very spoiled and not in a good way.Let her do what the others do, let her keep up and hold her own, but also take the time to help her celebrate being a girl,not by making her feel strange and incapable because of it.