The past...

United States
April 24, 2007 10:00pm CST
Yes, I am divorced and on marriage #2. So what, people make mistakes and the past is the past. Well, at least that's what I thought. My husband and I are buying our house and we are using VA. I had no idea that it was going to be such a long, drawn out, fine tooth comb process. Not that I have anything to hide, because I don't, I just didn't think it was going to involve rehashing my past. I get a call from the lender today stating that they needed my divorce decree to review. I'm like, whoa, what? Wtf??? I don't have it anymore, I believe it's in a box in my parent's house in Florida and I'm living in Texas now. Didn't think I would need it ever again. We had no kids, no hhouse, no assets, no alimony. It was a clean break and I had thought once the divorce was final, I could move on with my life and start fresh. Apparently, VA won't let me do that. They need to make sure I don't have any extra income from child support or alimony. I already said I didn't on my loan app, why would I lie on that type of document?? So not only do I have to find this stupid document now, but I have to rehash my painful past to get my loan approved. And it may even involve having to call the ex to get a copy. Ugh. I can't even bear the thought. So now I keep wondering...will this haunt me for the rest of my life? Next time I apply for a loan, will they do the same to me? Am I never going to be rid fully of my past and the crappy 8 years I endured?
2 people like this
2 responses
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
25 Apr 07
I am not sure how it works in the states, but here in Canada you have to prove that your ex husband has no hand in your life now. I have just applied for my old age pension I was divorced in 1989, I had to prove my divorce because apparently my ex husband can try and get part of my pension, seeing as he was the one that sat on his butt and didn't work and I had no choice he is entitled to part of my pension. I said to the lady he leached off me for 20 odd years he tries to touch my pension and he will get a casket right smart like, She calmed me down and said that it also worked in the reverse if he had been the breadwinner I would be entitled to part of his pension. In the end this was all for naut, I was divorced and this rule was implemented in 1990, So he can't touch my pension, or I know he would have tried. . So I would suggest you get a copy of your divorce papers and have them framed as there is going to be plenty of time you are going to be reminded of the dirty deed.
• United States
25 Apr 07
That is so crazy, I am sorry to hear that you are having to go through that. I do hope everything works out for you. I work in real estate, so I know how divorces can affect the seller's side of it, but I had no idea they would affect the buyer's side so much. It was very startling and a bit hurtful, having to drudge it all up. Of course, it didn't make my new husband happy at all.
@kylanie (1205)
• United States
25 Apr 07
I hate to be the bearer of bad news you will never be rid of the past it always haunts you and it always comes back in one way or another because I have a ex that I would like to forget but can't for different reasons.