Why do we always end up with the wrong person??

Malaysia
April 26, 2007 12:40am CST
Do you experience this situation before? Well, for all my life, i kept ending up with the wrong guy.. Is like as if the right guy is far beyond me or somewhere.. Anyway, how do we know if we have find the right person or partner? When will the right person show up? Have anyone found the right partner yet? Or everyone is still struggling through this obstacle?
5 people like this
25 responses
@Jennifer21 (2476)
• United States
26 Apr 07
Well, I tend to believe I have ended up with the right person, I love my husband more than anything, and that is how I know it is real. I cannot live without him. I need him to keep me strong, and his everlasting love, just as him for me. The way to know if it is real is if you BOTH feel the same love towards one another.
@Ciniful (1589)
• Canada
26 Apr 07
My advice would be to stop looking. Your expectations are setting you up for disaster, and to make matters worse, you seem to have gotten into a pattern, which is normal. Psychologically, we look for the type of person that reaches our comfort level. If your comfort level is the "wrong" guy, then you'll just keep looking for him and bypassing the good ones, no matter how much you try to change the pattern. Take some time to STOP looking, and just enjoy being you. Get to know yourself better, alone, and you'll soon learn to recognize the parts of yourself that are allowing you to gravitate towards the wrong guy. Once you've fixed those aspects of yourself, you'll find that you don't seek them out and you've changed your pattern. The right ones are out there, believe me ... but we often don't see them while we're following the paths our self esteem, self confidence and behavioral influences have planned out for us. The trick is to enhance our self esteem, build our self confidence and recognize the behavioral influences, so that we can change them. Good luck. :)
1 person likes this
@dineskie (155)
• Philippines
26 Apr 07
I think we sometimes or always end up with the wrong person since we are trying to make him the right one. Because we think, and we want him to be the right one, we don't notice that the right one is just there. Anyway, how old are you? If you're still young. Maybe it's not just the right time for you to find the right person for you. Always hope for the right one to come girl but don't expect that when a someone already comes along, he is already the right one. You'll learn that in time if he's the right one.
@girl079 (147)
• Malta
26 Apr 07
i think that if you focus on giving other then getting you will have a happy marriage
• China
27 Apr 07
Hi, cheerie, welcome to mylot and thanks for your nice question. In the meantime, I find you are also a beginner of mylot, me too, hehe... Admire for your brilliant issue, which has attracted so many friends to see, you are a lucy guy! I have never meeted with so many responses since joined mylot. Maybe I should learn from you, go for it, wish you post more and more excellent discussions in the future! Now to the point of your question, I really feel the same as what you said, and I have been endureing it till someday signs and wonders occur. Even though the person with me day by day is wrong, and we have no final result. but I don't have courage to give up it.
@mansha (6301)
• India
27 Apr 07
may be you are looking too hard for the right guy.sometiomes you are so focused on looking that you miss those who are standing next to you. I will suggest stop looking enjoy being single and when the right time comes right guy will come to you. You have fallenm int o a pattern of accepting who ever is there available thinking this must be it but don't do this, stop looking say no I will wait for better person no compromises now, mae a list and always see what is missing and stay focused go for the one who loves you not whom you love.
@tess1960 (2387)
• United States
26 Apr 07
Honey, yu r 19 years old. U have a lifetime ahead of you to find Mr. Right! The best way to find him is: TO Stop Looking! And that is always the way I hear that people found the right person for them. R U a friend to yourself? to your potential boy friend? Be a friend first and U wqill find love!!
• United States
26 Apr 07
I don't know but I keep asking myself the same thing. I have a boyfriend who I live with and sometimes I wonder if this will end up being a mistake. Relationships are soooo hard. I guess that's the problem. Relationships take work. Most people don't want to work. They want what's easiest and sometimes whats easiest is breaking up. I guess it all comes down to what you can and cannot deal with. See what weights more in your case. Does the bad weight more than the good? ARe you happier or more miserable with the person you're with? These are questions you need to ask yourself when you're in a relationship.
@wisedragon (2331)
• Philippines
26 Apr 07
Try to look at it in a positive way. Every bad relationship that you had, every wrong guy, every hurt, was an opportunity to learn. Use that to make yourself a better and stronger person in every aspect. That will increase your chance of finding a better kind of guy.
• United States
26 Apr 07
The right person will show up when you least expect it. Stop looking and you will find the right one for you. However, since you keep finding the wrong guy, you have to ask yourself what attracts you to this type of person? Or what is it about me that keeps attracting this kind of man? I was with my ex ten years and everyone thought we would be together forever. However, he was the wrong guy. I found the right one at a cookout and we got married six months after that and have been happy ever since.
@easyzheng (666)
• China
26 Apr 07
Many people believe that you always end up marrying a person that you don't love most, but hopefully most suitable to you. But in most cases, it turn out that he is neither the person you love, nor the person that suits you. How sad. But this is life.
@aciddrop (798)
26 Apr 07
are you too popular to meet the right person?lol i mean when those wrong ones keep coming to you so they are in the way,you'll miss the chance to notice the right ones.does it make sense?:P cheer up!i am sure your mr right will come up soon!:)
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
26 Apr 07
i dont think we always end up with the wrong person, we could only be looking for a different person than what we already have found. sometimes, we jump in to relationships without thinking and that is the worse of all.
@ajaleelp (131)
• India
26 Apr 07
It is not that a person is right or wrong.What matters is how good you are able to adjust with him. Everyone in this world is unique in one way or the other.No one is mr.perfect for anyone.We all have our own likings and dislikings.So do others.There can be many things which we share our liking with others.I think the person with whom we can adjust the best is the one who shares the most common interests with ours.Its is them whom we say is 'the right one' for us. About getting involved with the wrong ones always.This feeling comes up when some things of our interest dont turn out well and we feel like blaming the other for it.Am i right?.One possibility is that you are being too narrow minded and selfish unwilling to adjust for the others interest also.Or it is just that your interests dont match at all.Then you are with the 'wrong person'.
@meljessxena (2319)
• Australia
26 Apr 07
i was with a guy (not so nice) and my self esteem just went just like that and well ever since then all i met were dropdead idiots that basically wanted 1 thing or just using me for something else etc etc. so i just went in the faze of not worrying about a guy, do my own thing and the next minute i knew i was in the arms of this wonderful guy that treats me the way i should. so dont look hun, and he will pop up just like that.. but just make sure when he pops up you dnt let him slip away, sounds hard i know but it will work.. good luck
• United States
26 Apr 07
It generally depends on our understanding with our partner. When life passes by, you understands your partner and as time passes by, your expectations are also increases. So i think, just control your expectations and you will never end up with a wrong person. And always try to find out positive, not go in the search of negative. So, while, having love in relationship, just think of only to give and not to take. As a result, you did not have any expectation and when you get love without any expectation then you will feel good. So as a result, you will never end up with wrong person. Thanks...!!
• Philippines
26 Apr 07
You know, I think there is never the right person for us.. Whenever a person comes make it the right one for you... It's like an opportunity that comes and make use of that ooportunity, utilize it and you will come to realize you are given a blessing... Sometimes, we fail to realize ourselves how are we doing and how are we treating other people... Or sometimes, we forget ourselves and that we are focusing on one person and when that person has done one thing that we did not like, it hurts us so much coz we cannot believe how could that person ever have done such thing as that... I mean, let's try to balance things but not to totally change things... Deal with the situation and be practical... Be fair with your judgment...
• India
26 Apr 07
because we end up only when we find the wrong person,if we would have the right person, we won't end up friend.
@sallyxu126 (1185)
• China
26 Apr 07
I think I already found the right one,he is my boy friend. he is with good temper and he can cook good food. though he don't earn lots of money and he has lots of absence,but we love each other . that is the right one, I think. if without love, or love goes, so the right one can turn to the wrong one . Just try your best and find your love.
@ESKARENA1 (18304)
26 Apr 07
of course, we only end up with the wrong person until we find the right person. Therefore we are constantly searching blessed be
@mystery5 (351)
• India
26 Apr 07
When you're longing too much to have a male presence around you, you will end up attracting the wrong boys. Just let go, and enjoy being single for a while. Then start telling yourself that you're ready to pair up with your dream mate, and start dreaming of the things you will do together. Tell God that you're ready, and wait a few months, and voila! This has worked in a few cases, so you might want to try it too. Thing is, you have to have patience while waiting. Regarding how to make out when you meet the right guy? Your heart will just know it. You'll move beyond lust, into love, and if you ever doubt your relationship, just watch out for omens -there will be plenty to tell you that you are on the right track!