How do you handle your kids when they get whiny?

@cynddvs (2950)
United States
April 30, 2007 10:02pm CST
My daughter has been so whiny today. I think a big problem is that she is teething and in pain. But another thing is whenever she wants something she will just go and point to it and whine. I've been trying to work with her to get her to tell me what she wants instead of whining but her vocabulary isn't quite there yet. Days like today I just get so tired of hearing constant whining. There was a point today when I couldn't handle it anymore and just put her in her room for a while. So how do you all handle you little ones when they get whiny?
5 people like this
15 responses
@smartmom (827)
• United States
1 May 07
I know the feeling. My oldest son is now four and a half years old, and this is the age that I call the whining age. I know he used to whine, when he was younger as well, but from all my babysitting experience, I really remember the fours as a whining stage. I also get fed up at times, and although it is easy for my son to understand as he is older than your daughter, asking him to stop is still not always an effective solution. In my book there are two types of whining. First of all there is the whining, because our kids want something. When it comes to this kind of whining, I am very strict, and my son never gets anything, if he whines. The second whining, is the one where the whole world seems to be against your child. It seems as if your daughter might have caught a bit of this whining at the moment. This kind of whining I am more lenient towards, and I have found that sometimes it helps just to sit with my sons (both the older one and the youngest), as this might just take a little motherly attention and loving. When this is said, (and I am not saying that you do not give your daughter love and attention), there are times, when the whining really gets to you, and here my solution is to either remove my son(s) from what they are doing, and giving them another thing to do, to get their attention away from the whining. Some times I do like you have done today, I put my son (the oldest one) in his room, and tell him to draw a bit, make a puzzle, read a book etc., anything, just as long as I get at least 10 minutes of whining free time. After all, in my opinion, it is better to remove the child, than to start snapping at the kid (verbally or physically) Again, I am not suggesting that you would ever do a thing like this to your child, but I know sometimes parents need a break. I hope your daughter and you will have a whine free day tomorrow.
@cynddvs (2950)
• United States
1 May 07
Thank you for the great advice! I absolutely agree that it is better to put that separation between youself and the kids before you get snappy with them. I know getting snappy with only make the situation worse and my daughter would just feed off of that negative behavior. That's exactly why I put her in her room today. I could feel myself getting to that point and just needed some quiet time. And she probably needed that as well.
1 person likes this
@prestocaro (1254)
• United States
4 May 07
I had a cousin that I used to babysit that was like this. When he wanted something, he need only point, wait a moment, whine or grunt, and his parents would give it to him. His vocab was extremely stunted and he basically knew "NOW" and "NO" only. When I babysat him, he would point at something and I would name it for him. Then he'd grunt and I'd name it again. He'd cry sometimes, and I would just let him, because at that age it must be very frustrating to see what you want and not comprehend how to get it. But after only a few weeks of caring for him, my approach won out. Even though he didn't have to do it around his folks, he picked up words like "ball" and "doggy", etc. around me. It's so very trying, though! I remember being glad every day when I left because I would be so frazzled. That constant barrage of noise is enough to drive anyone crazy. I think putting her in her room is fine. After all, she must learn that whining doesn't really accomplish anything, and also that people don't like to listen to whining. Congrats on deciding you need some sanity/quiet time! Many mothers try to deny this for themselves and they are really only doing a disservice to them and their children.
• United States
2 May 07
i would whine back like a little baby then it would kind of confuse her, i don't know like a little psychology on her would do the trick you know what I mean
1 person likes this
@Foxxee (3654)
• United States
1 May 07
Not sure how old your daughter is, but if she is in her toddler stage then that is normal, you just will have to break the habit and it can be hard. But you said she was teething, how old is she? I don't think putting a child that young in their room is the answer. She is cranky beccause her gums hurt from teething. My son is that way. He is 15 months and when he is teething, my day is extra hard and is stressful. But I deal with it because it's not every day, only when he is getting sick or teething. Anyway, if she is older and alls he does is point to things and whine, well you could tell her to use her words and then point to her mouth and say "use your words okay" and just keep doing that and don't do nothing for her until she starts trying. But that all depends on her age. A friend of mine had a problem with her 3 year old just pointing all the time.
1 person likes this
@mememama (3077)
• United States
1 May 07
ahh we're going through the same thing, he's got four teeth coming in that are taking their sweet time! When he points to something, I say over and over what it is, like if he wants his sippy, I say "sippy?" over until he says it back. Sometimes I can predict what he's going to want, like he always wants a sippy of water when he wakes up from a nap, so avoid the whining by getting it ready beforehand. It's a trying time right now, good luck!
1 person likes this
@cyntrow (8527)
• United States
1 May 07
OMG, I have five kids and I know how hard it is to watch your child go through pain. The best thing to do is get some baby origel and talk to her like a person. when she whines, tell her, "I don't respond to that tone," or "I can't help you if you don't talk to me." I know she's too young to put her feelings into words, but the tone will change. She will imitate your tone. Then when she points to something, say the word and make her repeat it. It is a great learning experiance for both of you. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@mari123 (1862)
• China
1 May 07
maybe she is ill,and teething in pain.the little child cann't use words to express his pain,so i advice you to take you child to see a doctor,child is cute,health to a child is happy to you family,so you must go to hospital and see a doctor quickly.
1 person likes this
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
1 May 07
IT really depends on why he is whining, how I deal with my son, if he's whining because he didnt sleep well, or he's hungry, he gets an extra nap, or a snack, if that doesn't fix things, then usually he'll get a time out. He'll be three in August, I don't know how old yours is, but I think time outs work best for 2 years and up. Once he starts whining and I tell him to quit, if he does it again, he goes in time out for 2 minutes, and then I tell him, if you are happy, you can get up, but if you want to stay upset, that's fine, but you must stay put. He usually will give me a big smile and say, I'm happy mom! I think the most frustrating time for us both was when he was 1-1 1/2 years old ,when he couldn't really communicate with me. If your daughter is about that age, it will get better. I think the best course of action, regardless of age, is to never give in to the whining, this will only teach her that it is an affective way to communicate her wants or needs. I know of alot of people who will tell their kids, I cannot understand you when you whine (and then demonstrate what whining is with your own voice) and then simply tell her, when you stop whining, I will try to understand what you are saying. Good luck, and if you have to, put her in her room for a few minutes, it's better for you to get a break from it, and maybe she'll calm down on her own. Don't worry, it gets better...eventually. (:
1 person likes this
• United States
1 May 07
Babies get so frustrated when they can't communicate what they want. My son whines a lot too, and sometimes I just have to step out of the room and count to ten. The most advice that I can give you is to keep trying to teach her words for things. My son used to whine for a bottle all the time, and he still does. Now, though, when he starts whining I ask "what do you want?" and he usually answers "baba" and he gets rewarded. I will only give it to him if he answers me, though.
1 person likes this
@villageanne (8579)
• United States
1 May 07
LOL My daughters are grown and married now. I can tell you from experience that they are easier to manage when they are whiny toddlers than whiny teens. Teens get whiney and there is nothing will pacify them. LOL Good luck with your daughter. Mybe she is teathing for sure. That is a hard time for them. I use to wet a washcloth with cold water and wring it out. They loved to chew on it as it was soft and cool. They liked it better than a teether.
1 person likes this
@TiffanieC (827)
• United States
1 May 07
I don't know how old your daughter is but if it were my child I would not acknowledge that type of behavior.
1 person likes this
@KarenO52 (2951)
• United States
1 May 07
When mine were little and couldn't tell me what they wanted, after trying for a while, I'l just put them in their room. They can get pretty fussy when they're teething or not feeling well. Sometimes you just have to let them alone and they'll eventually settle down.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 May 07
My little brother was a whiner. More than that, he was a grunter and pointer. When he was about 2, he still wasn't out of his grunting/whining/pointing stage. My parents simply wouldn't give him what he wanted until he asked for it properly. If he wanted it, he'd have to talk. They made that clear to him, and he learned quickly. Hope that helps!
1 person likes this
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
7 May 08
Kids tend to whine and kids especially tend to whine when they are teething or are sick. If your daughter is teething, I would recommend getting some Hyland's Homeopathic Teething Tablets. They are completely natural and they are little tiny chalky tablets that melt in your child's mouth. I used them with my son and I was so thankful for them. Doctors told me there was nothing I could do, but then I found Hyland's line of homeopathic remedies. They also make earache tablets that were a GODSEND. I know how difficult it can be when your child is trying to ask for something but doesn't know how to communicate what they want. Just remember that it is also frustrating for your daughter not being able to communicate with you. When your daughter points for something, try reinforcing the words. You could say, "Do you want the toy?" Your daughter might learn to nod or say yes when you ask the right question. As you speak to her, she will start to learn to ask for things herself and it will be a little less frustrating for both of you. If you get to the point that you feel yourself getting angry or feel like you might hurt or hit your child, then by all means put her in her room. I used to do that with my son on days when he just would not be happy no matter what and I couldn't take it anymore. He eventually got the idea that whining is not the way to make mommmy happy or get what you want.
@foxygirle (377)
• Philippines
5 May 08
Kids are whiny and mine (of 6 years) whine most of the time too. First find out what is the root cause of Whining. It may be kids feeling some discomfort, pain or they are sick. Most of the time kids to whine if they feel bad and sick. If all things are well, then they maybe seeking some of your attention and time. Most kids would complain whenever you are upto doing something. Busy doing some work, talking to someone or being on the phone, or just enjoying and relaxing some time out, then they will come in with some of their best whining lines. Then they may need some time to feed into their whining since I noticed the the more you ignore them the more they wont stop whining. Goodluck to all parents, i think that's something we need to learn to live with it.