The fight of the year(with my mother in law)

Philippines
May 7, 2007 10:40pm CST
The fight of the year(with my mother in law) I have written here in mylot how cruel is my mother in law. Last holiday, Holy Week, my husband, my child and I went into vacation into my parents house. While we were there, my mother in law went into our house. She went inside our room and read everything she saw there, and she even read my diary. She read something there all about my heartaches with my husband and with her. What I wrote there is about my husbands continued support to his family even if we are married. It even happen that he almost gave all his earnings to his family and we have no money left. We even make a credit for the milk of our 5 month old baby. Then my mother in law got angry and texted me that I am a bad person. I am her in law that make her cry. She texted me several stupid texts. In my anger, I replied to her also some words of anger. We have a fight on the cellphone. To the point that on the next day the brother of my husband went into our house to asks what happened because her mother got a heart attack. Can you blame me for the event? I think my mother in law was just acting so that he can win my husbands sympathy. She even texted my husband that if they want her to lived my husband should make something about me. I don't know but I do really hate her. Sometimes, I can sense that my husband would have a private call with her mother. It seems that they make a sabotage against me. I feel tired. I hate them all.
3 people like this
4 responses
@joice86 (1079)
• Philippines
8 May 07
Hello, kababayan! Yes, i understand what you are going through. It's really difficult dealing with your in-laws. They are not the one whom you married but it seems that they are always in your way. Especially here in the Philippines where that is always the situation with in-laws. Just try to talk with your husband, he's your husband anyway and try to work things out between you. Does he know, what your in-laws did to you? What did he say? Hope everything will be ok with you and try to tell him what you feels about your in-laws.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 May 07
Thank you for the response. Yes, they are so hassle. It even come to a point that she would interfere into our decisions. And she always come into our house most of the times. Making negative and tackless comments. Everything. My husband also favors most of the times his family. He even said that he would give his health insurance to his mother, father, brother. And my son and I will not have ours. I feel pain because he knows that we don't have an insurance if we will got sick. My husband prioritize his family, and forgets me and his son. Even if I already spoke to him about our problem with his too much support with his family. He seems to ignore me. Sometimes I just want to end our marriage and let my son and I lived together.
1 person likes this
@joice86 (1079)
• Philippines
8 May 07
Can i ask you something and hope you will not get offended by this. Have you ever tried to talk with your mother in a nice way? Or is there something that made her hate you that much or it is only because of the diary? which in the first place she should have not read. I can't suggest that you should live far away from your in laws because for sure your husband will not like it. Or do your husband love you that he treats you that way? Am sorry but i am curious on what's happening in your relationship because if love really exists then there will be understanding between you. Hope that you will solve your problems one day.
• Philippines
16 May 07
We are friends before. I don't know if it was true or fake. Because basing from her relationship with other people she will talk nicely if the person is in her sight but if the person is not present she will talk negative things about the person. Actually we are living far from them since the time we got married. But she always visit our house, twice or thrice a week. For me it is okay. But by the time we went for a vacation in another island she went into our house and get inside our room and read things there. For me, that is an invasion of my privacy, especially it is my diary. What I wrote there is just my heartache how I suffered because my husband almost give his all earnings for his family. Actually my husband still send his brother to school even if we are married. For me, that is okay but not to the point of almost giving all his earnings because we are force to credit our basic needs. And my money is not enough for all of the expenses for the house. My mother in law got angry because she said that we have already promise to give money to them. But I just hate the fact of us sacrificing too much, even if my brother's parents still have earnings. I don't know now. I don't know if we are in the love state with my husband. I don't know. I hate to think of it. I hate to think why this things happened. Actually we have been with my husband many years before we got married. I don't know why this things happen now. I am badly hurt. Hopefully I will know the reason why we have these things happened. And I am hoping to fix it.
1 person likes this
@limcyjain (3523)
• India
31 May 07
I feel very sorry about you but this is a common trend evreywhere. My mother in law is also a nusance always trying to device methods to make life horrible for me. But i have got my husbands support now. Initially he tollerated all this but then one day he revolted and things changed for the better. Can we take such matters to human right orgnaisations and get their help for justice or another way could be to get it to the media and let the masses know about your mother in law.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Jun 07
That is good to hear that your husband is in your side now. My husband is still, I don't know maybe on the side of his mother still. I just want her to stop sending me annoying text messages now. She said I am greedy to his son's earning even if I use my own money. Well, I hope someday she will realise her doings and stop sending me rude messages.
@ShawnDay (227)
7 Jun 07
Can you block her messages? You shouldn't have to put up with that.
@eaforeman6 (8983)
• United States
8 May 07
I would, and I am speaking about me and what i would do.....call a conference and ask everyone to sit at the table and openly discuss the problems in a calm , and reasonable way. Each person should be given a chance to explain and express their feelings... .I would have a private conversation with my husband and ask him for changes or to work out better solutions between you and him so that the marriage will be in peace and you can be happy.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 May 07
That seems to be a good solution. But as of now I hate my mother in law so much. She talks so much harsh word to me. And even invents story against me so that my husband will win her sympathy. I just hate to see her face. I hope someday when I can forgive her, because I am not a pretender person, I can cry because of anger and pain easily. I just hope I am strong to talk to her what wrong she does to me especially for getting my private property.
• India
7 Jun 07
oh dear, it is so sad to know about all that you have been undergoing.... i would give only one suggestion.... try to be yourself and i am sure all your problems would come to an end.......
• Philippines
7 Jun 07
Hopefully I can be strong to face all my problems. Yes, this problem has really affected my life, even my family. They are worried what will happen to me and they got angry why I marry a guy of this kind of family. My mother said she will get me back if things will get worst. I hope to be strong despite their constant bothering with our life. I tried to not think of it but sometimes it's hard to just leave it out of my head.
1 person likes this