Would you accept back your first love?

@joshua_w (501)
Malaysia
May 7, 2007 11:34pm CST
Your other half is a loving, caring person whom you loved. Then, all of a sudden, your first love shows up in your life again. She (or he) wants to continue the relationship that both of you shared before. You loved your present sweetheart and valued this relationship very much. Yet, your first love still has a place in your heart. Would you still consider giving that first love of yours a second chance or would you stay with your current relationship? Give me your thoughts on this?
5 people like this
19 responses
• Philippines
10 Aug 07
well personally i wont waste my time dealing with what i feel with my first love.in the first place if im ok now and happy with my present boyfriend why should i dump him,, if we're really good together why am i happy with someone else now, i should think of all the time that we shared together and is it worth it if a get back to him,,this are some of the things i should consider..
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
13 Aug 07
You have a valid point there. But what if your former boyfriend is really serious in getting back with you and you still had feelings for him? And if the reason he leaves was not because of someone else but other reasons?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Sep 07
No matter how serious and determined he is. Its still not enough of a reason for infedelity. Your time with him has already lapsed. If his that determined then maybe his willing to wait for his time to come not in the time with im already happy with someone. It will be unfair to the person im having relationship at the present.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Sep 07
Point noted, sheen. Thanks for your thoughts.
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22912)
• China
10 Aug 07
I will never give her another chance for the sake of my present wife whom I love so much. She is supposed to know that I am having a happy life and not to get involved in my life. But if she really wants to, then it is only ok to be my secret mistress and no marriage is allowed. lol. (in fact I have never had this thought since my first love left me.)
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
13 Aug 07
Secret mistress? I supposed mistresses are a secret from everyone else. You never have this thought then but you did now, ha-ha. You have a great day and thanks very much for posting.
1 person likes this
• China
13 Aug 07
Smiling. A secret mistress is ok without ruining the family relationship. Thanks, friend, for your response.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
15 Aug 07
But most of the times we heard or read about families destroyed when the wife found out about her husband's mistress. But i gather you mean "secret" as in never getting found out. Thanks again.
• Philippines
20 Sep 07
If that's the case,i will not accept him anymore. What's the use? We have already choosen our lives to live with. Eventhough the same old feelings for him is still there i will still be firm on my decission. I have already choosen the man to marry and i'm happy and blest with him. So i guess ours is long over due. There's no use on going stray it will only add to my problems. So as much as possible I will detached myself from any possibilities to cheat my better half.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Sep 07
A sensible thing to do, no doubt. But people in love often do insensible things which they don't think of as a problem. Thanks again for your thoughts.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Sep 07
Hello there JOsh, It's true but I believed that's why our heads are put over our hearts so that we can think logically and weigh things and do the right things. Sometimes listening to our hearts works but in situation like this we have to rely more on our minds for if we listen to it in this kind of situation we can't go wrong for sure. Thanks buddy.
1 person likes this
@ericajoyce (1749)
• Philippines
26 Sep 07
No, I wouldn't accept him back. We've already gone our separate ways.I wouldn't give him a second chance. Ive already moved on. Im already happy with my life right now.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
26 Sep 07
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on an old topic. To be frank, i do not know how to response to this subject because it's been awhile since this thought came to me. And i just could not get into the same mind frame i had when i first expressed this subject. So, all i can say is thanks again for yours and everyone who give their thought here.
@lucy0713 (32)
• China
23 Sep 07
One of my dear friends is having the same probelm.She told me her first love ipmressed her a lot,while it also hurt her seriously.In front of the problem,she choose the present love as a reason of that she wouldn't bring the current boyfriend into the similarly depression she had been in.Then I think if I was her I would have the same choice with her.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
25 Sep 07
Your friend would not want to hurt her current boyfriend the way she'd been hurt before. And you feel the same way too. But if it really happened to you, would you do the same, assuming you were still single?
• Singapore
23 Sep 07
Nope, I never will. As far as I am concerned, the relationship is long over. I prefer to put it behind me. We can never go back to those days as things are no longer the same. I do not have any feelings for him anymore and nothing he does can ever re-kindle these feelings. Also, I prefer to have a permanent clean break from my ex and concentrate on my current relationship.
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
24 Sep 07
Most people who commented here seems to be of this opinion. Well, what can i say. But is there really no place in your heart for him at all?
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
20 Sep 07
No, i will not. I have no feelings anymore to my ex. But if ever i have.. i guess its still a big NO. if i am happy with my current relationship and we love each other i should choose him than to my ex. :)
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
22 Sep 07
Ciades, but have you been through this experience before?
• Malaysia
4 Sep 07
I will be firm on my decision. The past is the past, and the present is the present. I would not cheat my current relationship just for the sake of my first love. If I were supposed to be happy living with my first love, our relationship should be in good shape long ago and didn't end in a break. Now that I have found a new love, and he is loving me and giving me happiness, why should I give a second chance to the person who broke my heart and broke our relationship in the past? Even though he still has a place in my heart I would just ignore it. I know it will pass. I will cling strongly to my current relationship. Nobody can jeopardize it, even if it is my first love. He can go away and find someone else. Lol. That's my point of view in this matter.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
5 Sep 07
You make so much sense there. I felt the same in some of the sentiment you had written there. "He can go away and find someone else". That is...funny in a sense.
@youless (74256)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Sep 07
No, it is not possible. When I already have started a new relationship with another. I can't accept others any more. I will feel guilty to it.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
5 Sep 07
Guilt does stop us from doing stupid things even if our hearts may want to. If you have been hurt before and if you really loved your present partner, then you would not want to hurt her/him. You know how that feels.
@xiuluoelly (1226)
• China
3 Sep 07
I will not, I care about the people in front of me. Right, I lost things, even back is not necessarily belong to him about love that has lost Ran, it is still not as good as the memories buried souls.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
5 Sep 07
We often forgot about the people in front of us when we're sad thinking of others who don't even know we're thinking of them.
@sneese (95)
• United States
10 Aug 07
As much as we would like to, you can never go home again. Over time our mind takes our memories and turns them so that we have either sweet memories, or sours them so we avoid getting hurt again. I would love to be able to see and talk with my first love as we were best friends growing up and I miss my friend. But there could never be another relationship there.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
13 Aug 07
You write it so well there. It's either sweet memories or bad memories. I presume yours would be sweet. Still, when there's memories there is still a place in our heart for them? And yes, there would never be another relationship because time and us have both moved on.
@eaforeman6 (8983)
• United States
8 May 07
you would have to look at all the reasons that you did not make it in the first place. what has changed? what reasons will make things beter now? Would it be fair to hurt the person you are with now if they havent done anything wrong? you have to use rightous judgement to make the decision and try not to hurt anyone.....its one to do alot of thinking about.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
8 May 07
If I was in this situation, i don't think i would risk taking a second chance with my first love, especially if i value my present relationship so much. But it is also difficult to say because i used to loved her too although that's in the past. For a nostalgic person, the past is an important part of that person's life. And judgment, in matters of the heart is prone to subjectivity. When it comes to love, reasons and judgment would almost always come behind emotion. God bless
@tenchiwei (149)
• Philippines
2 Oct 07
I guess not.:) The feelings from before is soooo different. I have constant communication with him (probably because I stalked him too much when I was in high school! LOL) and I'm pretty sure there is nothing left for a relationship to sustain. He is a good friend and I think we were meant to be friends that's why it never did work out.:)
1 person likes this
@mykmari_08 (2466)
• Philippines
25 Sep 07
Honestly, it will depend on the present situation I am in. I'm currently in a marriage and has been married for more than four years now. I value my family very much; more so my daughter and her future. I feel that if ever my first love or former boyfriend shows up and wants reconciliation and a second chance, I would not accept his offer no matter how much I loved him then. I don't want to ruin my family. But if I'm still single & unattached; maybe I would give it a thought. I don't want to hurt anybody in the process especially someone who loves me and respects me so much. I'm afraid of karma.
• Philippines
25 Sep 07
Hi there Joshua, Well, i am so inlove with my current girlfriend and so there's no way for me to go back to my 1st love. And actually me and my 1st love are ok, we're still friends and seeing each other and hanging out together with her boyfriend and my girlfriend. I don't know, but we tend to feel awkward somehow but it never happens, it's so cute and nice. But then, my girlfriend and her botfriend feels awkward i think, im not just sure about it but maybe. And as the matter of fact, my 1st love and her boyfriend are engaged and they are going to get married sooner and we are INVITED! Can you beat that? isn't cute? Have a nice day ahead buddy! Kiko
1 person likes this
@cutepenguin (6460)
• Canada
23 Sep 07
I wouldn't. We've both moved on, changed, and grown apart.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
23 Sep 07
hi, joshua_w.. my first love is start at march 2004 and end at jun 2004.. i think i have to think that she really want back with me.. if she just want me replace her bf or what.i think i wont back with her.. and need to me now got girlfriend..
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 07
I think it all depends on how you much you think you love what you have and what you had.
• India
30 Sep 07
In no way i mean in no way what so ever i would leave my present sweet heart for a past one even if its my first love because as far as i am concerned i wud have left my first love because of the pain she had given me so when she comes back there can be no surety that she is gonna love me truly and that too when i am committed to someone ele ,in no way i can cheat my sweet heart for someone who broke my heart