How can girls stay with guys that abuses them?

I can understand what your friend must have gone through she might have been in the relationship because she must be loving that person truly all you need to do at this time is support your friend who needs you a lot at this phase in life.

i know a friend who is being abused and hit by her boyfriend and yet she doesnt want to leave him. her boyfriend punches her, pulls her hair, curses at her in public and even slaps her in the mall! i dont know why she stays with him even though we keep telling her that she should leave him. :(

This is so hard to understand for someone that has not been in the situation themselves. I was a girl that always used to say, a Guy that hits me will be out the door before he even knew what happened. And then I met a guy, he swept me off my feet and was the most wonderful guy in the world. Slowly he started to make me feel that all I had was him, that noone else would love me. Eventually all I did was wrong and my mission in life was to please him. Then he started to hit me. I had NO confidence at all left and I belived that he was the only one who cared about me and that he hit me coz I had done him wrong and that i deserved it. All people around me - I slowly cut out of my life and i almost even told my parents that i did not want them in our life anymore. To make the story short I eventually got out and in the beginning I wa sooo said and i missed him so much, but with time i started to see the truth and what was actually going on. Today I am with a guy that loves me and would never even try to do what he did. I do understand why people stay, even though they shouldnt, just because i have been there myself

I was abused for years. It's hard to understand if you're not in the situation. I lost my best friend as a result. When you live with someone who constantly reduces you to nothing more than dirt and threatens to kill you if you leave, well, lets just say that fear is a very powerful emotion.

i'm not sure why. i wouldn't be with an abusive guy, i'd get out of the relationship quickly. how could you stand someone who beats u up all the time? love is a strange thing. my cousin used to date a guy who was abusive too, he kept on beating her until she got hospitalised. she said that it was hard to let go, partly because she was scared and because she also loved him deeply. i don't get it either, but thank goodness now she's not with that guy any longer..

Trauma bonds. Trauma bonding happens when 2 people experience risky emotional and intense situations together.

well.... i dont know... maybe because the guys are also good people... everyone has bad habits... and those girls might consider the good qualities of the guys before the bad ones.... and hence they think with time the guys might improve... i think so

I have a friend who was recently abused by someone she thought was going to be the one, and in her video production class she did her project on spousal abuse and the like, and there are some very scary statistics associated with her project. The reason I'm saying this is that one of the statistics that was found was that women who leave their batterer are 75% more at risk of being killed by their batterer, and I'm not sure about this next one, but close to 25% of men in prison are guys who have killed their mother's abuser. Scary stuff if you ask me. I would have to say though that fear is the biggest reason that most girls will stay in the relationship if it's abusive. My heart goes out to all those girls, it breaks my heart that this happens in the world.

I dont know... maybe he choose the wrong guy for the second time around... or there is also something wrong with your friend... I dont mean anything... im just stating possible facts about this... If she has chosen the wrong guy again... tehn maybe help her realize that she has to decide for herself and find someone better for her.. if the guy really loves her.. then he would not have the heart to hurt her... Just stay beside her... I bet she would be needing a good friend in a situation like this...

Most physical abuse starts out as emotional or mental abuse. The abuser isolates the victim from their friends and family, so they feel they have no where to turn for help. Then the abuser starts to tear down the self-esteem of the victim, so that the victim will feel so low and powerless that they'll stay with the abuser. That is why many people who survive abuse need counseling for depression and anxiety issues. The abuser has spent a long time drilling into the victim's head how unattractive, stupid, worthless, etc. they are. The victim stays because they have noone to ask for help, and they feel that no one else will love them again! They often feel that they are "lucky" to have found a person who loves them at all, and that is why they put up with the abuse. Many people are also in denial and wait until the relationship is very toxic before they even consider ending it. All you can do for your friend is try to help her get back on her feet and not judge her. She's been through a lot. While I know it is frustrating, and hard to understand, what she needs most is some guidance and friendship.

Keep being a shoulder to cry on, women in this situation need all the support they can get b/c they are in such a negative situation. Let her know how you feel in a tactful way so that she won't feel like you are just attacking her. get her started in some hobbies or interest that will make her feel good & confident about herself. Once she can realize her self worth, she'll be unstoppable and she'll see that there are better men out there for her than what she has choosen in the past! If you guys hang out with a group of girls, suggest starting a weekly girls night out or just make it the 2 of you!! Its hard to determine why women stay in abusive relationships unless you know from experience, everyone is different! Good luck:)

I don't think women who stay with abusive men are necessarily lacking in brain cells. Proffessional women with degress have been known to stay in such relationships. I think it has more to do with lack of self esteem on the part of the woman. She does not value herself enough. There is also a pattern of women who have physically or emotionally abusive fathers choosing the same type of lover later in life. Which is a very good reason for women with children (and especially daughters) to leave husbands who abuse them or their kids.

Girls who stay in abusive relationships do so for different reasons. Sometimes, it's fear of retaliation if they leave. Sometimes, it's economic necessity. Sometimes, it's fear of being alone. I left an abusive relationship when I realized being alone would be less painful. Sometimes it's a belief that if they just do everything right, the man will become the loving partner they want-and most abusive men can be that loving person some of the time. The good times give the abused partner hope that he's really changing this time.

I think girls should not stay with a relationship that doesn't work and the guy should give due respect to girl who loves him. I think your friend is afraid of another new relationship and that's why she restricts herself to see only the good qualities of his. No girl should stand abuses and ask her to get rid of him,I too don't understand why some girls are tolerant to such mean guys, if she's my friend I would tell her straightly that she should break her relationship with that guy who doesn't have any qualities to deserve such a lovely girl.