Relationship question---Guys and Girls respond please!

@stacyv81 (5904)
United States
May 11, 2007 7:50pm CST
ok, so say you have a family, and the guy you are with says he doesnt know if he wants to be with you, because he doesnt want to be the one not allowed to do things, but you dont say anything when he goes out with his friends, and never say he cant do anything, but I guess he feels tied down by the family, but Dont you think he should've thought about all of that before he decided to have a family? Why do guys do this sort of thing? What is the deal with that?
6 people like this
8 responses
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
12 May 07
You have to be more demanding with guys...if you let him do what he wants to do...and go out with friends...hmmm...it seams to me like he is manipulating to have his freedom...to go out and play...don't take it wrong...I have been with someone just like him...I am divorced now.... Just believe that you are worth to have someone who cares and wants to be with you no matter what....believe in yourself, please..... Women are superior!....:))))
3 people like this
@PsychoDude (2018)
• Netherlands
12 May 07
That's one of the many reasons why I'm definitely not going to be taking kids any time soon yet. I don't know why exactly guys do such a thing, but looking at your profile you're 23, if he is even close to that age I can already pretty much imagine that he might still be in a phase in his life on which he would rather go out, have fun with friends and such, etcetera. Perhaps you can try doing stuff he wants together with him, dropping kids over at a parents place or babysitter sort of allowing to enjoy the time of being young again a bit more.
1 person likes this
@stacyv81 (5904)
• United States
17 May 07
he's 25, and the problem is my daughter is very finiky and has separation issues with me, so only his mom will watch her no one else has the patience, so that is the stumbling block for that. But thanks for the advice =)
• United States
12 May 07
He definitely should have considered all these "fears" of his before comitting to having a family. But, such things happen everday- that men either don't think about, or maybe they did, but still feel "tied down". Everyone is different. It is easy for some to fall in love with family life and do all they can to cultivate it. It is not so easy for others and there are many reasons for that. It's not just a guy thing though. There are single-parent homes with only the dad b/c mothers have made the choice to leave and not be "tied down". Hopefully these parents will come around and/or stick to their committment. But, those who are hurting because of these types of situations must stay strong and not slip into bad choices. They must support their children and try to encourage their spouses to do the same.
1 person likes this
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
12 May 07
That is a tough situation but it is definitely something that should be talked about before you get married. I know at first my husband said he didn't want to have any kids. We didn't expect me to get pregnant either time that I did but we wouldn't have it any other way. My husband is a wonderful father and loves his kids very much! :)
• India
7 Jun 07
I think, nature has made man as a free individual, resisting to be tied to anything, whether be it one woman, or one family. However, the changed lifestyle from being in jungles to having families in cities has forced some restrictions on men. But still the natural tendencies come out sometimes.
@mgmagana (3621)
• United States
7 Jun 07
i know plenty of people like that! they had kids at young ages and then realized how tied down they feel and leave the women taking care of the kids. 1 friend of mine started partying herself once her ex left her, and just leaves her kids with her mom! that's horrible, i can't even go to dinner with my hubby w/o my kids, i feel i'm cheating them of a night out also!
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
12 May 07
Because he wants to have his cake and eat it too LOL Being in a relationship whether married or not, is a lot of responsibility and some guys are not up for that, or at least they thought they were until they had children. The thing is they should still be able to have time to themselves and with their friends, however still remembering that their first priority should be their wife and child/children. I really don't know what it is and why they think this, maybe because he's the only one amongst his friends/bachelors that have settled down and probably feels left out when he gets together with "the boyz".!!!!
@Stiletto (4584)
12 May 07
It's very easy - guys do that sort of thing because some women let them get away with doing it. Personally I wouldn't waste a second of my time on a guy like that - I'd tell him he could have as much freedom as he wanted while I moved on to find someone decent.