Breathing Down Children's Necks.

Thiruvananthapuram, India
May 14, 2007 11:20am CST
Your child..you follow him or watch what he is doing closely. This would make him uncomfortable. He would be unable to act freely or make his own decisions. Shouldn't parents stop breathing down their children's neck when they grow up ?
5 people like this
18 responses
@maddysmommy (16235)
• United States
14 May 07
It's hard not to sometimes when you know that something might happen if you let them out of your sight. I've heard many stories of where kids are kidnapped and I would rather have a close eye on my son than let that happen. Yes it may mean I am all over him but i still give him the chance to roam around, look at the shelves in the shops and so forth, always making sure he is close by. My hubby reminds me that I am too overprotective, but I think once I let my guard down something may happen and I just don;t want to take that chance!
@Darkwing (21588)
14 May 07
Yes, they should stop breathing down their child's neck. The reason I say this is because children have to learn about life... what is good, what is bad, what is going to hurt, and what is not, etc. When a child goes to school, he has to fend for himself to an extent, and he can hardly do that if he has been mollycoddled all his young life. He needs to know what's what before he starts school Ok... stay close to him in case anything drastic happens, but I feel a child should be left to discover what life's all about, rather than to be stopped from doing something that his parents might consider wrong. He really has to learn so much for himself in order to survive later life.
2 people like this
• United States
14 May 07
It depends on the age. Once they were teenagers, I let my kids make a lot of their own decisions. They were responible to tell me where they would be. If they lied to me, as teenagers are prone to, then the trust they enjoyed had to be earned again. As they proved their ability to make good decisions, they were given more and more freedom. When the oldest got out of high school, she was able to make great informed decisions. As far as creativity, she is an art major and special education teacher. She uses art to reach her kids.
2 people like this
• United States
14 May 07
once they are grown yes i do however as children they need much guidance and good parents need to know what mischief they are getting into!
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
14 May 07
Imposing strict controls would make them lose their creative talents. Thanks.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 May 07
it might also keep them out of a lot of trouble if more parent were aware of what thier children were doing and where they were i believe it would help solve many crime problems ,Some creativity needs a little stiffeling these days
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
14 May 07
I agree I think that the should too. This causes kids when the grow up to be unsure of themselves.
1 person likes this
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
14 May 07
You got it very well . Thanks for the response.
@charms88 (7541)
• Philippines
14 May 07
My two girls are pretty much on their own. I only stayed behind them like a shadow and at the same time, continuously teaching them the values of life and disciplines. I tried to give them the spaces they needed. I rather play the role of being a cool mom than a strict disciplinarian,. For as long as I saw my girls going on the right track, I will be assured that they will learn how to be independent in the future.
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
14 May 07
You are very positive in your outlook. Guiding your children on the right track ..at the same not imposing strict rules of behavior.Good.
@sizzle3000 (3040)
• United States
15 May 07
I feel that a parents job is to guide their children in the right path. I also think that by knowing where, what and with whom your child is with is important. My daughter is sixteen and well adjusted. She thinks I am too stricked however, by being this way she has been in no trouble what so ever. Then you have parents like my girlfriend who left her son run the streets till he wanted to come home and she never knew who he was with. He is also sixteen. He has a child, doesn't go to school and is on probation. You tell me what way is right. There was a woman who had her five or six year old child kidnapped from the front of her home. Come to find out she left her child in the front yard of an appartment complex while she was upstairs in the apartment. How is this watching you child? I am not saying it is right that the child was taken. I am saying that if that parent did not leave the child on its own this probably would not have happened.
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
15 May 07
Yes, of course as parents we should be constantly mindful of this for which you speak. But there is no one answer to the dilemna. Unfortunately, the world and is just not a place where you can let them run free and make decisions too early. I live in a metropolis area and it frankly is not safe. If we lived in a more rural setting with less dangers I could let up on my child a lot sooner.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 May 07
It depends on if the grown child acts like he or she has any sense or not. The ones I feel are fine, I check on less; while the ones that keep screwing up, well, I must say, they need their necks breathed down--sometimes it keeps their butts out of slings, if ya know what I mean. BUT, there's a time when you have to stop holding their hands for them and doing their thinking for them. That is hard when they are screwing up left and right and never have a roof over their heads more than 10 minutes. That's a tough one, sukumar, really it is.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
15 May 07
When our children grow up it is so difficult to let go of them and let them become their own person. I know I am a mother of a 12 year old and it is ever increasingly hard to look toward the future to see my little girl grow up and move away and become her own person in this world. I think that is why we are "breathing down our kids necks" most of the time. I know it drove me crazy when my parents did it and they still do it, but I understand why now.
1 person likes this
@Sherry12 (2475)
• United States
14 May 07
Yes, but it is very hard to do that. They are still kids to us, no matter how old they get.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
14 May 07
I can see what you mean but in this day and age we have to ensure that our children are as safe as we can! A lot depends on the age of our children, I have a son who will be 14 this August and while I loosen the apron strings I need to know where he is going to be and who he will be with etc! I am a great believer in letting our children learn from their own mistakes and letting them build up their ability to make their own decisions and figure out what they like and don't like! All of these are important and we have to trust that we have taught our children well enough about morality and what is right and wrong and let them make their own choices but surely we are also responsible for knowing what goes on in their lives so that , as far as possible, we can ensure their safety! xxx
1 person likes this
@mamacathie (3929)
• United States
14 May 07
Yes, parents have to cut the apron strings sooner or later. Let me tell you from experience of being a parent and grandparent that it is one of the hardest things to let go and let your child make their own decisions. You have to teach them right from wrong and then pray they make the right decisions. It is a lot easier said than done.
1 person likes this
@cynddvs (2950)
• United States
14 May 07
This is a tough one for me since my daughter is still so young. I hate to imagine the day that she wants to go to the mall without me lol. But at the same time I want her to be able to know that I trust her judgement and I think trusting her judgement will allow her to have better judgement. Kids need to know that their parents are confident in them. And I agree that by breathing down their necks you are telling them in your own way that you don't trust them. But at the same time you need to have a good balance. When my daughter is old enough to do things on her own I will want to know where she is, what she is doing, and who she is doing it with. I think parents have to know these things with all the dangers that are out there now.
1 person likes this
@DawGwath (1044)
• Romania
14 May 07
I agree with you, they should be left free, to make their own decisions in what they want to do in life. Luckily, my parents were quite understandable, and they left me some freedom. I can't say it turned out well, I did some stupid things in my life. But that just life teaching us lessons, so I guess it was for my own good.
1 person likes this
• India
15 May 07
One of the important thing to be remembered in this contest is that we must build confidence in the minds of children. For that I am having the opinion that we must look the children at a safe distance and permit them to move freely.
• United States
15 May 07
I went threw that growing up and i hated it and i had a serious complex growing up because of it,now i have a son and i have made it a point to give him space,,but not toooo much lol..I let him do tricks,and learn new things and if he falls..i dont panic anymore,but know he has learned one more thing in life,I want him to be dependent and think things out and discover,,but i will always be in the bleachers waiting in case he needs me lol..
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
14 May 07
When parents have instilled good values in their children, had spend quality time with them when they were kids, parents should have every confidence to free their children without their shadow behind them when they grow up to face life courageously.