Doctors
By Gabs
@gabs8513 (48686)
United Kingdom
May 17, 2007 4:36am CST
As most of you know I was at the Doctor yesterday about my Hip
Well my Illness came to discussion as I had Xrays done on my Lungs 6 weeks ago to see what is happening to them again with infections
Anyone who does not know I was Diagnosed with Emphasimia 6 years Ago since then I have been on Anti depressants because even after all these years without them I will not accept it and I get in a State and my Lungs Swell, I suffer with a lot of Infections and also at times with Pleuracy bad for someone who was always healthy and active and worked all her adult Life.
Anyway he started about my Smoking again. My Previous Doctor explained it to me once but she understood me.
I will be ripped to pieces now by non Smokers I know and by People who do not understand
But let me tell you what I had to give up
I was bullied out of my Job because of my Illness which made me worse as Stress can deteriate it I could not get another Job as soon as I declared my Illness which I have to the attitude used to change of People
I had to sell my House to my Son who fortunatly decided to buy it so we do not loose the House I had worked for
This was due to the little Money I was getting and the fight for Disability when my Doctor announced to me that I will not be able to work again, due to the bad way of breathing and other things like fear, Panic Attacks
I very rarely go out last time I was out on New Years eve 2 years ago and with this I mean a night out
I can not be as active as I used to be I have to take things step by step
When I go shopping I start to panic and I just want to go home because 4 years ago I collapsed in town
When I walk round town after half an hour I have to stop as my Breathing is so bad I used to walk round Town for hours
Basically I gave up an active and working Life
There is a few more things that I am restricted to
Anyway again yesterday the Doctor said that I am making an early Death bed for myself by smoking, I got angry I bit my Lip but what did it is when he said Doctors grow cold when People smoke specially with an Illness like that
I could not bite my Lips anymore I just very quietly said to him through Tears "Do you know how much my Life changed from an active needed to Life to someone totally useless that is no use to anyone anymore
To have my Kids worrying over me to teach my Kids not to build their Lifes round my Illness, do you know how it feels to be totally useless
The only thing I do is smoking which I am trying very hard to stop but which is not working at the moment
He looked at me and and said Well you are going to have to stop there is the Chemist who deal with the stopping Smoking
Hello why the Chemist and what am I suppose to do just lead my Life going to one Person for my Lungs another Person for my Hips another Person for stopping smoking another Consultant for my Lungs.
I sai no more as I knew I would loose it
when I walked home I cried all the way
I am sick of being told about smoking but no one understands I don't even expect anyone here to understand and I know I am going to get some awful Comments from People well fine get on with it I can take it why not I have had the Grief from 2 Doctors who do not understand
Just remember I could stop smoking tomorrow but my Lungs are still getting Crap in them from outside but please if you are going to give me the Crap do not concentrate on me smoking unless you know exactly how I feel about the change in my Life
Ok I needed to get this of my Chest I am sorry about this but it is getting to me and it is how I feel
No matter how many say I am not useless in my eyes I am very useless I am not the same person anymore I was before this, active being able to help everyone working in a job I loved being strong for my kids and Friends
This is not self Pity either it is a fact and People who have been through it will understand
20 people like this
27 responses
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
17 May 07
Ohhh gabs honey, I don't know what to say, but my heart breaks for you. I do feel your doctor could have been a little more compassionate at least. Maybe you could go to a different Doctor?
I don't know what it's like for you suffering as you do. My partner suffers with Bronchitis though, and it's harsh for all of us when he's laid low with it.
I wish there were something I could say or do to make you feel better, but I can't. I don't have the words or the means. Please know that you're in my thoughts, and if there's ANYTHING I can do, just message me. I'm only a message away.
Hugest [[[Hugs]]] to you honey.
5 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 May 07
Thank you Sweetie
No he won't be more Compassionate I am a smoker so I am bad
I know where you are Sweetie and thank you for being here for me
I think I better go to bed lol this new Medication is making me sleep
Love and Big Hugs to you
I hope you are ok xx
3 people like this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
17 May 07
Gabs I think with your hip hurting you has added alot of stress to your illness. I do know what its like to have emphasmia my uncle had it and he finally stoped smoking. I seen how he suffered with that terrible illness. Im not the type of person who is going to tell you what you should do and not do. I just want you to be happy and feel good again. Please dont cry my friend you are so loved by many people and especially your family. Im always here for my friend. Big hugs to you my sweetie.
5 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 May 07
Terry Sweetie thank you
I will go back to normal I get like this every time the Doctor Starts but then to say that Doctors go cold towards Smokers that did it for me
I wanted to scream at him but I didn't
I will be ok once this has calmed down inside me again
And to make it worse these new Pain killers are making me tired
Lol I will be asleep on here in a minute Love and a Big Hug
3 people like this
@banta78 (4326)
• India
17 May 07
Hello sweet Gabs,
I know you are a strong willed person with a big heart. And it can be tough, life can be tough. Like in your case too. I personally don't smoke. And i know you too want to quit the habit but i can try to understand your point. I just want you to be healthy and enjoy your life. My best wishes are with you. be happy. have a nice day :)
@nannacroc (4049)
•
17 May 07
I really do understand. As a smoker and being married to someone who suffers with chronic bronchitis and depression, I totally understand what you are saying and, I don't know if ths will help, a few years ago when a neighbour of mine was in a similar situation to yours, her specialist said that trying to stop smoking would just cause more stress and have a worse effect than if she just tried to cut down. You aren't useless, no-one is and you're a lovely person. Having said that and having lived with a person with depression for years, I know it will make very little difference to how you view yourself but I said it anyway. Take care and take things one day at a time.
4 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 May 07
Nannacroc thank you for this and I am glad that you understand me
And yes I have heard it before that Stopping smoking like that can make a person worse but not many Doctors will admit that
The Illness is not curable that I have
I am suppose to just accept everything but do some People know how hard that is
Thank you so much for your Kind words
Big Hug to you
3 people like this
@ausnikki (4054)
• Brisbane, Australia
17 May 07
Gabs,hun reading your post just broke my heart.You really are doing it tough.Being a smoker myself I know how hard it is to give up.I have been trying for years and years.Please don't be so hard on yourself.You are one of the sweetest,most caring people I have ever met and I am here for you if you EVER need a shoulder.These doctors just don't understand and worse than that they don't even try to understand.Love and many hugs to you dear friend.
4 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 May 07
Thank you Sweetie you know how much you mean to me as a friend and I know I am not the only one going through tough times but when the Doctors start on me they turn me like this as I do not like talking about it and I do my best to keep it in the back of my mind even though the breathing and the Pain reminds me of it but I deal with that but I can not deal with having it put in words
Love and Hugs to you xxxxxxxx
3 people like this
@ausnikki (4054)
• Brisbane, Australia
17 May 07
Hun,you know you have many friends here that are willing to help you through the hard times.I have certainly found that in my case.There are many shoulders to lean on and ears (or eyes) willing to listen/read.I just want you to know you are not alone! Love and hugs xx
4 people like this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
17 May 07
Errrrr - I just wrote a beautiful response for you but when I submitted it myLot kicked me out. Afraid I don't have the strength or time to try to duplicate it but here's the general outline.
I do understand, totally, been there done that!
Certainly not a pity party - it honestly does help just to get it out and off your chest.
Been there done that, can't do anything right and the world is against me...
I do care dear and am here for you - often just a shoulder to cry on helps and mine are pretty strong right now :)
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
17 May 07
I'm using IE today but am always logged into myLot and haven't had this happen to me in months although I've heard other having the problem. Really strange thing was I had mylot discussions open in 3 other tabs and it didn't do it to them...
4 people like this
@Darkwing (21583)
•
17 May 07
I think I can understand where you're coming from. Ok... I'm not disabled or anything but I feel useless because of what I can't do for my friend. I can't give him back his fully-functioning liver or physically take the cancer out of his body. He's the same age as you Gabs... ok, he gave up smoking when told, but in his case, he couldn't give up the drink.
Why? because that was the only thing that would dull his mind from thinking about what was happening to him. I think this is why you can't give up smoking.
ok... some may argue, but let them... they who pollute the air with their cars, bonfires, barbecues and the like. They who thing they're holier than thou because they don't and never have smoked.
You have to be ready to give up smoking and I know that when you're ready, you will... and successfully. But I find the doctors make too much of things and their harsh approach puts your defences up. When you're ready, you will know and you will give up just like that!
Brightest Blessings and a big ((((((HUGG)))))) to you my dear friend. xx
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 May 07
Sweetie there was no mistakes in this one lol am I rubbing of on you
Thank you Sweetie and yes you are right when I do give up it will be the time I am going to inquire about these Chantix Tablets as well and if I can have them then I will go for it as a lot of People seem to be able to stop on them
Love and hugs to you a big Hug xxxxxxxxxxx
1 person likes this
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
17 May 07
First I want to give you a big hug. I do know how that is and how frustrating it can be. Smoking is one of the few things I am able to enjoy in life. I do have lung problems but they aren't due to the smoking, they are due to allergies which cause asthma. That being said it doesn't stop others from telling me I have to. Well I've had to give up a lot of things I used to love to do because I can't do them anymore, I can still smoke so dang it why not?
Believe me I do understand the need to get things off your chest. The last few days I've been trying to have my brother do work on our kitchen. All I do is hand him tools and after a couple of hours I'm in serious pain. There are days when I can accept this is but there are other days when I too feel very, very useless. I know others tell me I'm not but when that feeling hits it is hard to overcome. We aren't useless though. We can do things. Like today you made me feel better to know I'm not the only one who feels that way now and then. That even though my life has altered far more then I ever thought it would there are still people I can talk with, interact with and perhaps help as well.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 May 07
Emerald first of all a big Hug back to you
And yes you are right a few of my dear Friends actually all of them on here tonight have opened my eyes to myself and it now makes me happy to know that this Discussion has helped you to
Love to you Sweetie xxxxxxxxxxxxx
3 people like this
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
18 May 07
Aww thank you :) I'll always take a hug from a friend. Friends can be wonderful can they not? It does make me feel better and I'm glad to hear you are as well.
Hang in there.
2 people like this
@LilacMoon54 (106)
• United States
17 May 07
I understand where your coming from!! And I feel for you.
I too am a smoker with some breathing problems. It is not easy to quit. I have tried many things to quit but have failed at all of them. And I know it is because I am Not ready to quit. I use it for stress also. Which I know "they say" it does not really help stress! But it does for me. I had pluracy when I was younger. So that is probably why I get winded faster than others.
Doctors are always telling us to give up this and give up that. Well sometimes we just have to have one vice wether it is good for us or not!
So dont get down on yourself because you have enough stresses in your life to let some Doc get you down.
I wish you the best Gabs!!
Love ya
Lilac54
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 May 07
Lilac thank you I am so glad to see that at least my Friends understand even the ones that do not smoke
Yes I would be better of quitting I know that but then again would I
The last couple of times I managed I felt worse
So I just do not know
Love ya to xxxx
2 people like this
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
17 May 07
Oh Gabs - I am so sad for you. I wish there is something more that I could do apart from sending you a virtual hug over the Internet. About the smoking - well - you won't catch me telling you off, or preaching about it. I snoke, and have done since I was 13 years old. I enjoy it - and in my view, as long as I do it in the privacy of my own home, or car, or in the company of fellow smokers, it is really no one else's business. I get damned angry at anti-smokers who preach at people like yourself, when we're surrounded all day my filthy diesel fumes from cars, chemicals from factories, and additives in processed foods. If you want a cigaette - I say good luck to you, and don't let anyone make you feel bad or demeaned because you are a smoker. An ex-colleague f mine was also an emphasyma sufferer who smoked - he told people that his illness made it impossible for him to lead a "normal" life, and enjoy the things he used to enjoy, and smoking remained one of his remaining pleasures. Good for him - and good for you. Take care sweetie.
@crickethear (1417)
• United States
17 May 07
Gabs, I don't judge you. I am have my deamons too. I addicted to surgar, and although I need to stay away from it, I can't. If this helps, my Aunt has smoked for 45 years, she was going through a lot of stress, and having a heart issue. She said to her doctor, well I know I need to quit, but just can't. The doctor said to her, right now you need to eliminate stress because of your heart condition. Quiting smoking is only going to make it worse, so don't focus on that, all that will do, is create more stress which you don't need.
Doctors can suck. I have Multiple Sclerosis, and I get a lot infections in my bladder and kidneys. Every so often they have to use a scope up my bladder. I hate it every time, because it is painful. I went in on Tuesday, and he came in to do it, and he asked how I was feeling. I said I am nervous. You know what he said to me, kind of in a sarcastic manner??? "Well, I don't know why, you had this done before". I responded to him, well who wouldn't be nervous, it is a painful procedure. I felt like if I could have, rammed that tube up his you know what and see how he liked it. I felt like crying. The lack of empathy from most doctors suck.
Hang in there, and don't stress yourself or worry about your smoking. There are enough other things in life, without worrying about that.
Hugs
3 people like this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
17 May 07
No dearie, you are wrong. I may not be having the same troubles like yours, but I UNDERSTAND. I would gladly tell you to go ahead and continue smoking. Life is too short for us to restrain the thing we like to do. I am not a smoker. I am still healthy. But I didn't reach this age not to know and feel what you're going through. Understand this though, for as long as you are still alive, you are still useful not USELESS. It is a privilege bestowed to us. I am not God either. If I am, I would have taken the pain out of your chest. There is always a reason for every pains we have to endure. All the trials, troubles, sorrows and griefs, we all have that. Be strong, dearie.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 May 07
Charms thank you for your lovely Words and I am glad that you understand me I really am
I mean one tells me I caused this through smoking another tells me I am to young to have it even though I do smoke another Doctor tells me that it must be in the Family and then another one comes along and tells me that my Chronic Bronchitias have partly caused and also that my right Lung is slightly weak but it has never been detected
Charms what do I believe I know smoking is not good I do
And I hate myself for being like this at the moment but Doctors always reminding me of my Sickness throws me into deep depressions then they say I have to stop living in denial and accept it
2 people like this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
18 May 07
Don't be too hard on yourself, gabs. We both know that smoking is bad. But we are all entitled to do some crazy things once in a while. A very straight life can be too boring. There is always curves that we must bend. Life is like that. "hugz"
2 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
17 May 07
Sweety - you know I am not going to give you any nasty comments or have a go at you! You also know that I would love you to stop smoking for your own health but I know how hard it is to stop - espescially if you are stressed and feeling low! As for being useless - I know your live has changed dramatically and I understand how you feel but you are loved by so many people and you help all of us by being a friend and being there for us! Do you remember the state I was in on the phone the other day - and do you remember who it was who made me feel better? Do you remember when I was lying in a hospital bed the other week feeling miserable - who was it that gave me surprise phone calls and helped to cheer me up and make me feel better? Those are just a couple of examples angel - there are many , many more instances of just how useful and needed you are and please let that seep into that stubborn brain of yours! As for the smoking and the doctors - even the ones who smoke have to advise you about the dangers to your health - try not to take it to heart sweety! and many others love you and need you so please try not to be so hard on yourself - and you know I know where you are coming from and understand why you feel the way you do but you are a better person than you think you are - take my word for it - would I lie to you? xxx big hugs xxx
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 May 07
Awwwwwwwww Sweetie you have just brought tears to my eyes
I would have done those things anyway as that is part of who I am am
I love my Friends and if they need me I am there and I will do everything in my power to cheer them up and make them feel better but thank you so much Sweetie and you know I did it straight from my Heart
I love you Sweetie xxxxxxxxx
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 May 07
Thank you Sweetie it is just at times when I get like this I wonder what use I am
I believe that I must be getting on Peoples Nerves and that
That is just me I will snap out of it soon
The main time I get like this is when I get told over and over about my Illness why can't they understand I know and I do not want to know right now
2 people like this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
18 May 07
Sweets,
Ofcourse I wish you could stop smoking because I care about your wellbeing and I know if you say you are trying that sooner or later you will be able to.
I understand how hard it is because I go through some of the same feeling of discouragement and disappointment in myself from being disabled.
Gabs you are the one that needs to make decisions for your health and your life.
No one else has a right to judge you because they haven't lived inside your skin during your life.
We all have our bad habits and weeknesses or we wouldn't be human.
You are my friend and my angel and you would be no matter what your habits are.
Love ya Angel
oxxoxoxoxoxoxo
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
18 May 07
Thank you Sweetie and I agree why do they not bann them from being sold
I will shout for you you know I will
The last time I stopped I was horrible I really was and I don't want to be but I could not help it so I hope when I do give up again that I will not be like that
1 person likes this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
18 May 07
You are a strong lady and will quit sooner or later.I quit years ago and am very glad that I did but it was hard.I kept going back to it then I finally made it.Non smokers don't realize how the cigg's get a hold on you and don't want to let go.There are a few other mylot friends that want to quit some of us that have so maybe we can all support each others and help each other to be non-smokers.Anything I can do I will,Love,just let me know.I blame the cigg companies for making their products so adictive.They should have to pay for you medical issues accociated to the smoking.Everybody is so busy attacking the smoker when they should be yelling at the companies that have made it hard to walk away from ciggs.
hugs
xoxoxo
1 person likes this
@brendalee (6082)
• United States
20 May 07
Oh honey, I am sorry that you are going through a tough time, but I want you to know that you are very special to me. I sort of know how you feel. I get so worked up before going to the doctor because I know he is going to complain about my smoking and being overweight. But the way I see it is, if it wasn't for us fat smokers, the doctors wouldn't have much work to do. And if people didn't smoke and weren't overweight, what would they blame any illness on. Hang in there girl!
1 person likes this
@brendalee (6082)
• United States
21 May 07
Ok, Gabs. I will fly over to your place and we will quit smoking together.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
18 May 07
Stupid b*ast*rds. Why are they telling you not to smoke? That's just ridiculous...there's simply no point. Why take away something that you feel you enjoy when you've lost so much else. Not smoking at this stage will not help you. It won't cure you.
I stopped smoking on 20th August 2004. I started again about 3 months ago.
If you ever do want to stop, let me know because I know a really easy way to do it. I promise. I'm talking about an aid that helped me. I have loaned 2 to friends and I'm now trying to get one back so I can stop again. It costs too much!! Sending you lots of hugs and cuddles dear Gabs.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
18 May 07
MsTickle I would appreciate any Help that can be given to me I will try anything specially if you say it is an easy way then please do let me know as I will try anything
As for not smoking at this stage they do not see it like that they just like making you feel like Dirt and that is what they are doing making me feel like I am doing something dirty
I mean they have their Life's so who cares about People like me
I am doing it to myself so why should they care, they do not look at it from the Persons point of view though
I have never been on Anti depressants I have always fought what Life threw at me even rape and now look at me I need them but my last Doctor did say it was only a matter of time with everything I have fought and my Body had enough the last straw was being bullied out of my Job because of my Illness as that is where the feeling of useless started
I deteriorated from there
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
19 May 07
You sound very low here darling Gabs and I know your anguish and hurt and the utter futility of it all. I rarely go to doctors now as i don't believe they are sincere. It's not in their best interests for us to be well. It's all about the almighty dollar dear friend. Patients are hereded through one at a time as quickly as possible, or they are charged extra. To give up smoking, over several years I tried yoga, hypnotherapy, group, one on one and self hynosis, I had acupuncture, I chewed gum. (Such a load of commercial money making crap those patches and gum....how stupid to give someone nicotine in order to give up nicotine, probably a gov't funded income raising rort), Gabs, I read a book. Sure I stretched it out over a few months but when the time came, after following the book to the end, I just stopped. Cold turkey, without a worry. I was smoking 60 a day (working 30 hours a week) and it was costing me $150 a week. The name of the book is "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" by Alan Carr. It's published by Penguin. Good luck, I'll be thinking of you and you can talk to me whenever you need to.
1 person likes this
@marlyse (1056)
• Switzerland
18 May 07
hi there lil sis. first let me say, i agree to all of your friends, you are NOT useless. please never think that. you are a sweet, loving, caring person and my best friend. you helped me so many times to go through rough times, i dont know if i would have handled it without your help. and i understand completely what you say about the doc. i have the same problem here, but everytime he starts to tell me off, i look at him and shake my head. im tired of explaining him why and what. since i asked him if he has no respect for that last silly thing im doing, he never did it again. please sweetie, dont let her go at you, you know smoking is bad like i know it too, but i think when we have to stop this, we have not much left at this moment.
i send you my love and hugs
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
18 May 07
I know Sis that we both have the same the Argument with them lol
You have also helped me a lot and you know that and you still do
I have not written to you about this as I did not want you to worry silly me forgot that you will see it on here lol
You are very sick yourself at the moment and you know I won't bother you with things like this
But I do have to remember that you will see it on here lol because you know when I need to let go I do so I guess I might as well write to you lol
I love you Sis and you know what you mean to me I always tell you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
2 people like this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
18 May 07
Well, Gabs, I am not going to touch the subject of smoking or how rediculous it is for someone as amazing and wonderful as you to feel useless....
..... but I have to say, who the h*ll is this doctor that makes you feel worse when you leave there than when you showed up. If at all possible to find another doctor I really wish you would. Doctors are healers and have taken an oath as such, does he/she think that you are better off after receiving unsympathetic lecturers from him/her.
I am so sorry for your pain. Sending you the most heartfelt, transAtlantic hug ever sent.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
18 May 07
Makingpots thank you for this and believe me this is already the second Doctor as the first one was the same
I really do not know who these Doctors think they are today I really don't
I know it sounds silly as I have had this 5 years now but I am still not able to accept it but when I go to do something say like Hoovering or playing with Gissi it is there my breathing is bad I need to sit down and calm the breathing and that is bad enough to deal with without the Doctor adding to it
Thank you Sweetie for the big Hug and I am sending one back to you ((((((((((((((Hug)))))))))))))
1 person likes this
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
18 May 07
Gabs, its ok if you smoke, it is your body and you know what you are doing with it. I am obese. I have lost 88lbs, but I am still obese. I cannot stop eating fatting foods and lots of them, so I cannot tell you to stop smoking. I have a friend in your shoes. She was just diagonesis with chronic obstructive pulomary disease. She knows she will die with it and she knows it is from smoking, she also knows it is hard to stop smoking. I told her when she is ready I will be there for her with what ever she needs.
As far as your disablilities I also understand. I am 48 and totally disabled, I worked for 20 years at the same hospital and was making $38 an hour. I have dizzy spells, double vision and other systems that the doctors do not have a name for, but I cannot work. I am not realible. I am depressed because my disabily is less than one quarter than what I was making. For the last 20 years I brought home more money then my husband now he supports us. I wish I had a name for what I have so I could fight it. I have a lot of the same symptoms as MS, which my twin was just diagnosised with.
I have been depressed a lot this last two weeks, one for the money and one for life in general. I have been very short tempered with my hubby and snapping at him. I am so angry I cannot even appolgize to him for yelling at him last week.
So I kind of know what you are going through. If you are anything like me mylot helps when I read what other people around the world are doing. And Gissi is up to. I love my Petie and my two cats.
I want you to know that I am a half way around the world but I am on your side. When you need help I will be a computer away. If you want to smoke then you go right a head. No one can tell you to quit they are not in your shoes.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
18 May 07
Teapotmom yes it does help to read other Peoples Problem I feel for them and at that time I forget about mine and concentrate on them
I remember about your Sister to
Why can't they check out if you have got it?
It must be bad not knowing and I really feel for you I do
At least I know what I have and it is only when the Doctor rubs it under my nose I get like this and ask myself what use am I here and why can't they just let me pretend that I am ok like I used to be even though it shows me I am not when I try to do things yes I have to stop I know I do and I will but at the moment it is all I have left from my old Life and it keeps me going but I am aware that I have to kick it soon severely
Sweetie I do hope they find out soon what is up with you so that at least you know
My thoughts and love is with you
Big Hugs to you and thank you for understanding me
2 people like this
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
19 May 07
You are welcome. Thank you for your hugs and prayes also.
Give Gissi a kiss for me.
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
18 May 07
Hello, Gabs. I understand you. It is really not a very easy job to give up smoking.
More than twenty years ago, my eldest uncle developed some kind of lung disease from smoking too much and suffered from asthma in the rest of his life. It was the same with him. He couldn't give up smoking. It seemed to him that smoking sometimes worked to stop him from coughing. I was young then and didn't know much about that.
My father never smokes and nor do I. My father-in-law used to smoke for many years and ever since he was found to have high blood pressure last year, he has completely given it up. It needs a strong will.
Anyway, I hope you will be fine again. Best wishes to you.
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