Message we wish to send to all denied friends, but we couldn’t.

@polachicago (19073)
United States
May 17, 2007 7:31pm CST
My dear denied friend! I know that you asked about my friendship 3 times already. I just finished looking at you profile and find out that you may be very nice person. Sorry, I am not adding new friends at this time. In addition to, how could I know you? You are not visiting my discussions , and I am not responding to yours either. I am not collecting people’s pictures; I want to make friends here. Let’s talk to each other first, because we don’t know if this friendship is going to work. Maybe in few months or few weeks from now, we can like each other discussions and be friends. Thank you for finding my person worthy to be you friend. See you in the spotlight, I wish you the best on My Lot. What is your message?
16 people like this
21 responses
@emeraldisle (13145)
• United States
18 May 07
I would love to have this option. I like the one you did up. I'd probably do something similar to that. Something like this: "I'm sorry but at this time I cannot accept you. I have taken a look at your profile, the discussions you have started and the ones you have answered, based on this I doubt we'd be able to aid one another here since I would not be able to answer most of yours and so far you have not responded to mine. I like to be able to interact with my friends, not just have their avatar on my profile page."
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
it is simmilar to my, but well said and clear...I like it very much...:)
1 person likes this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
18 May 07
friendship is a treasure - friends are the most precious jewels we could ever have.
my dear, maybe you are right but I accept nearly all people who ask to be my friends. If they turn to be ugly or unkind, then I stop answering to their discussions and to their comments to mine. Well, i keep on remembering the first times when I was a newbie here and didn't know anybody and I met with beautiful people such you and others and i hope I could be the right one for them. But of course seeing that they are so numerous, I cannot imagine to have a close relationship with all of them.time will say if we will become good friends or not. but I do agree with you: I am not here to collecting pictures, but to make good friends just like the one I have in you.
@aidonia (4210)
• Greece
18 May 07
As the most of the time I agree with you Maribea.I rate and add a comment to your photo.have a nice day my friend.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
I have about 3-4 friends reguests every day...I want to be as selective as I am in real life....because if I am not wired messages are comming to my message box... I am glad to know you....
1 person likes this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
18 May 07
my dear friend I am happy to call you a friend of mine..I consider myself lucky for knowing you. the fact is that I don't know how to say no to others because I think it bad or unkind but of course I don't think that everybody is becoming a friend of mine. I am not asking many people to become friends, instead. I ask only people who I feel into contact..
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
18 May 07
I really like yours! Mine would be something like: I'm sorry, but right now I feel I already have too many mylot friends to do them justice, and I really want to be a good friend. So instead of adding friends right now, I'm trying to manage the ones I already have. When I'm ready, I'll keep you in mind. Assuming of course that we talk sometime between now and then, and actually get to know each other a little. I do hope you have a lot of fun on mylot, and that you understand my predicament here! Wishing you the best! Lecanis
2 people like this
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
I like yours very much. I think we should have an option to send nice message to all people who are not accepted, so they don't feel bad, especially new members.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
18 May 07
I think we should be able to send such a message too. As much as I would love to be able to accept everyone, I really only have a short amount of time to spend on mylot, once I take into consideration my child, my husband, my health, and my job. So I don't really have time to keep up with the discussions of a million friends, however much I might like to.
@rainbow (6763)
20 May 07
Excellent, this is sooo right! Sometimes I agree to be a persons friend never to see or hear of them again and still feel bad avbout deleting them, crazy isn't it? I rarely deny for a bad reason but at the moment I am trying to work out who I really talk to a lot and would like to keep so I'm wary of taking anyone else on. Sometimes I feel lie agreeing to be their friend, sending the message like you wrote so well nad then dleeting them, lol.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
20 May 07
You get the point...accept...send the message...and than...delete....at least this way we can send them a message....
1 person likes this
@rainbow (6763)
21 May 07
It would be nicer to be friends with people we actually discuss stuff with. I tend to agree just to be nice and if I never hear again I quietly remove them, not sure which is the best way but few people ask again so they don't notice. I still can't decide which is the best way really, lol.
@jbrooks0127 (2326)
• United States
18 May 07
So I would ask what are your grounds for not excepting an invitation. Do you look at how many post's that person makes or how many responses they make or perhaps both. You are on my friend page and I try to respond to what I can. But I don't have the time to create a lot of posts. Exactly what is your criteria for non acceptance or deletion?
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
Criteria about acceptance? Personality...your motto, your pictures, your discussions...or discussions you replied to...your interests... I delete friends who are not active at all for longer than 2 months...or not responding to my discussions for longer than 2 months... I know you are not mylot often and you respond once while, but this is OK...., I am glad you stop by...:)))see you soon on your new discussion...:)maybe?
1 person likes this
• United States
26 May 07
Ah.....very good. Thank you. It is always much better to know where one stands. Your posts are very good and I try to keep an eye out for them but often I have nothing to add. I would hate to loose you as a friend however so will try to do better. Good day to you.
@aidonia (4210)
• Greece
18 May 07
This is a very hard question for me.It's so difficult i denied a friend request.I never did until know.But you are the right one not me.many times after I except the request and I spend time to answer I find didn't worth it but from the other way I find some good friends after I spend time to visit them and visit me throw our discussion and then be friends.Sometimes is better you have little and good friends so i don't ask for friends anymore just i must start thinking twice before I except new. By the way...I'm glad you are at my friend list.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
Aidonia...you are one of the best...:)))
1 person likes this
@aidonia (4210)
• Greece
18 May 07
Thanks for saying,because I remember good that at the beginning even if I start only few discussions you came always too me but I didn't.I always forgot to turn on the button at my friends as I did with yours.Now I try come almost to all your discussions but I never forget that you was right friend with me the time I wasn't. So even late...sorry for that..
@dpk262006 (56480)
• Delhi, India
18 May 07
My message would somewhat similar to you...but it will be an edited version... My dear friend, I know that you have asked about my friendship. If I accept you as my friend...I would like you to participate in my discussions and vice versa. I am not collecting people’s pictures. I wish to to make good friends here who could turn out to be more than my real life friends here. So if I accept you as my friend, be there to particpate in my discussions. (POLA, I have taken the liberaty to use some of your words to frame my message, hope you won't mind.- Deepak)
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
...not at all...I wish we can send something...because no matter what...I always feel bad about it...
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56480)
• Delhi, India
19 May 07
I could not get you...what do you feel about ..it?? Please let me know.
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
20 May 07
That is great- Mine would go something like this: I'm sorry- I'm sure you are probably a good person- however I only accept friends with interests similar to mine. After all that is what friends are for- talking, chatting sharing interests- what would we share? I've checked out your profile and although you have made some decent posts- I just can't see myself being able to add quality responses. thank you for your interest and good luck here at mylot. I can't figure out why I get friend request from people that don't answer my discussions (I only ask a few) and that I haven't answered theirs? How do they know me? Why would I accept.
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
20 May 07
this is very good, I want to see people in my discussions first...and ...it is a whole package I am looking for....
@Idlewild (6094)
• United States
19 May 07
I would want to say that I won't take someone as a friend if they've only been on Mylot for a few days, or only have a few points (maybe less than 100 or even 25). And like you say, if someone hasn't participated in any of my discussions. In fact, I would ask them to take a look at my discussions and if they don't think they would want to participate in them, they shouldn't ask to be my friend.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
19 May 07
sounds good...maybe I should post general message on my profile... Thank you..:)))
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
18 May 07
I would probably copy pasted your message, you phrased it exactly how i wanted to write it, it includes everything in it. I know that i had a very bad experience with some of the people that i denied from my friends list, some of them send me a request three or four times, and some of them just want on a revenge trip and rated my discussions with a negative rating, that did me a lot of damage.
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
...I would like to be nice, because some people don't understand why we denied their friendship.... I wish we can send messages for denied friends...
@smacksman (6074)
18 May 07
I don't send 'Dear John' messages. It is not as though we are talking 'real' friendships here and hope to go out for a meal and some 'mattress thrashing' afterwards. haha Come on! Most of my
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
We all are making choices...I have only few friends in real life...but very close friends...this is my personality.... I denied many requests...but I always feel bad about it...and it is not about Dear John.... I get so close to "real" friends here...and don't be supprised..I will stay in touch with few people, even if this site gets closed tomorrow...
• India
18 May 07
i don't have such great thinkings about me...... if someone one to be my friend he/she is always welcome.... it may happen i don't like his discussion topics that much but really his capability of writing a discussion doesn't matter to me while he wants to be my friend !!
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
some people want to deal with all, some want to deal with people who have the same interest...we all are making choices in life...I make mine....
@Kylalynn (1773)
• South Africa
18 May 07
I have had this too. I have not been on mylot lately, as the pay system in S.Africa is not valid. I have money on 2 sites and am unable to get it. Not pleasant. However I have found another site which pays by cheque, so I have been looking at this one. It seems like fun. My email is still on for all mylot friends, but there are only 4 that I reply to. One is a lady that could be facing bad news, and I am eager to know that she is ok. The other friend is also from S.Africa, so she does not post much here anymore either. But we have each others email address. The other is a single mum in US. And of course you. I have always enjoyed your discussions, they always seem to be so honest. Plus your love of animals is another thing we have in common. I actually decided last night, I am going to switch the auto email off for everyone other than my 4 favourite friends as I value these friendships. Some things money just can't buy. Take care.
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
..Thank you..I wish you can see my big smile after reading your respond..:))))))))))))))))) You made me feel good or the rest of today and tomorrow...I don't have much time myself lately and my notification is on for about 15 friends only, including yourself.... Good people is hard to find and easy to loose... (((((Kylalynn))))) (virtual hug)
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
18 May 07
I'm afraid I'm weak in this area. I haven't denied any, but then again I don't get many requests. I have however deleted a few who, as soon as you acept them, you get a sales pitch. That's not my idea of someone looking for a friend, but a customer.
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
agree, I am not a customer...:)))
1 person likes this
@Debs_place (10525)
• United States
18 May 07
I have denied a few people, for various reasons, if I sent them a note the following reasons would be among them..of course the wording would be friendlier 1) I have read your questions and there are none that I would answer and you have not answered any that I would ask, therefore it would not be beneficial to either of us to become friends, since we have nothing in common. (Usually I find that their questions to be upsetting to me for one reason or another) 2) I noticed the person has been on MyLot for several months, has answered very few questions and has posted very questions, but has hundreds of friends, my guess is this person is going to be sending PM that would be approaching SPAM.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
I like it very much...I think that we all are having good reason...and I would be nice to be able to send short note.....
@magica (3710)
• Bulgaria
18 May 07
Dear denied friends, you are just some. Dont take it too personally. I prefer to contact with people who are near my interests and personality. I am glad that you sent me a friendship requests. Unfortunately some of you are here just for money and the money are not the only factor. Take care and good luck.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
Thank you magica, it is very good....I like part of your message about interests and personality....:)
@kelly60 (4548)
• United States
19 May 07
When I get a new friend request, I wonder why they want me for a friend. I go to their profile to see if I can find an answer to this question. I look to see if I may have responded to one of their discussions, or if they have responded to one of mine. If we have not interacted in a discussion, do we at least have some common interests? If so, I am likely to accept them as a friend, as long as I do not see anything abusive or offensive during my visit. If I cannot find any reason why they might have requested my friendship, I would direct them to my discussion, "Why Do You Want To Be My Friend?" http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/940254.aspx where they would have a chance to tell me if there is some reason they would like to be my friend.
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
20 May 07
technically, you can't direct new friend request to any discussion...
@kelly60 (4548)
• United States
20 May 07
I know that you cannot direct a new friend request to a discussion, but you also cannot send them a message without accepting them as a friend, nor can they send you a message unless you have accepted their friendship. If I could send them a message without accepting their friend request, I would ask them to explain why they want to be my friend. I will not retype my discussion into a message that I would send them, nor into the response that I type here.
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
20 May 07
yes, we are talking about message that as of today, we can't send without accepting someone as a friend....
@adidas7878 (2013)
• United States
19 May 07
personaly i havent come to that yet, i know maybe i should just denied some of the people, but i cant seem to be able to do that for some reason, i guess i dunno how to say no to them, that is bad huh?
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
20 May 07
it is all up to you....:)))
@eaforeman6 (8983)
• United States
18 May 07
I have not denied any friends so far. I hope that everyone who asks to be my friend will be posting back and forth with me... I would say in my message, if you add me or I add you, then please post from time to time and I will also post to yours......
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
18 May 07
if I could accept all requests...I would have over 1000 friends...I don't see any reason why would I do it...
@Cannonball (3635)
• France
4 May 11
A lot of people do this for some "business" reasons others are flirting with you but they are too shy to start the discussion, some others do this for reasons I dont know.