Why FM make us feeling so much guilty ??

Canada
May 30, 2007 4:00pm CST
We are suffering daily, psychologically, emotionally, we have pain, we become shadow of ourselves, we loose or stop working, we must change lifestyle, we loose our friends, our family is desperate, but... WHY? HOW COME? we feel so guilty of all what is happening with FM attacking us...
1 person likes this
4 responses
@RosieS57 (889)
• United States
30 May 07
It does take a while to deal with the life disruptions that FM causes. If the FM pain isn't adequately controlled that makes you depressed, too. But family and friends must understand that FM isn't anything you caused and you didn't bring it on yourself. It is not like getting drunk and wrecking the car and getting disabled. You could not have avoided it. FM doesn't care if you're skinny or fat, black or while, old or young. Some young people really don't have 'growing pains', they have FM pains. FM doesn't discriminate. It is also now thought that more men have FM than have been counted. They often get misdiagnosed with polyarthralgia. Anyone can become disabled at any time...you didn't bring it on. If you have a doctor that does deal with FM have your family hear it from the doctor. It takes time to adjust. Give it some time, ok?
• Canada
1 Jun 07
Thank you so much to share your feelings Rosie! I appreciate to read because i have same... Good day! Dania
1 person likes this
@patgalca (14557)
• Orangeville, Ontario
31 May 07
I definitely am not the same person I was before I got FM. Ask my husband! I feel guilty about not helping out financially AND I feel guilty because I can't go tobogganing and skating and stuff like that with my kids. But we do have our quality time together and they are turning out to be great kids so I must be doing something right. We feel guilty because we have affected everyone's lives around us. When I was first diagnosed, my husband was with me when the dumb doctor said "Exercise and you'll be better in six months." Well, imagine how that affected my husband. He said to my mother, "We'll get through this." Unfortunately there is no other side to this illness. There is no getting THROUGH. We have to live with it every day. We will feel guilty, but we also have to try and appreciate. We need to appreciate the sacrifices those around us have made. I thank my husband when he helps out. I "let" him go golfing. I even send him off to visit his family by himself (though reluctantly) because I can't stand the 18-22 hour drive (neither can my girls). We have to try not to complain too much and make our family members miserable. They get tired of hearing the whining. Guilt is a natural feeling. We cannot change the way we feel. We can change our attitude. Yeah, I feel guilty that I can't help out financially but, hey, I am home with my kids. I am here when they get home from school. I am able to run a lunch over to my husband at work in the middle of the day. Counselling may help with the guilt, helping us ACCEPT, but life throws different things at us every day, different things that cause different emotions. Guilt is just one of them.
2 people like this
• Canada
1 Jun 07
Thank you very much Pat! Reading you i got chicken skin... i feel so same often! I am very lucky my Dutch husband is so understanding and patient with me. * I wish you the BEST! Keep on Hoping! Fibro friendly, Dania amiga
1 person likes this
@bam001 (941)
• United States
3 Jun 07
I feel guilty on a regular basis because of my fibromyalgia. I hate that I can't do all the things I used to do. I would love to be able to go out and keep up with everyone again and not need to leave places early. I wish that I could have a great day and not pay the next day too! I feel like fibro has taken over my life and I cannot seem to get it back like it was. I am still working, but it is becoming harder and harder. IT is all I can to do go to work, come home and go straight to bed. Housework has become a thing of the past. Laundry gets done on weekends...maybe.
@MAX1966 (1030)
• Netherlands
10 Jun 07
hi there, i try not to feel quilty almost nobody understands fm not my family! they think it is not a real disease/ilness. but when i think about that all day,i feel so much worse. the more stress,the more pain i have
@sissie44 (217)
• United States
30 May 07
I find that I feel Guilty about every thing in my life! I am no longer able to help bring in an income to help, I can no longer go walking or fishing with my hubby and even though he understands and never says anything I still find myself blaming myself for this! so sorry to hear you are a member of the FM club, take care of yourself
1 person likes this
• Canada
1 Jun 07
Thank you very much to share with us! * For support online i did not try but that website looks very helping with lot of infos and chatroom... www.fibrohugs.com I will try it soon! Fibro Friend, Take care! Dania
1 person likes this