Borrowing money

@catbvq (364)
Philippines
May 31, 2007 5:05am CST
How would you say no to a family member or a friend who borrows money from you, knowing that the person is notorious for not paying back? How can you approach him/her when it's time to pay you back because you need your money without making it appear you're anxious and does not trust him/her will be able to pay back?
4 responses
@livewyre (2455)
21 Jun 07
I have a rule on lending money - maybe it will help you. I NEVER lend money but if I can afford it, I will GIVE money where I can. I learned this tip many many years ago, a 'friend' wanted to borrow money, I said 'look - I have this much in my pocket if you need it, it's yours' He took the money on that occasion but never asked me again. This is my approach to everyone friend, stranger, relative it's all the same 'this is how much money I have spare - if you need it, it's yours...' You never have to add up how much people owe you because nobody owes you anything - you are never left short because you have given what you had spare, if someone else asks you, you say I have given away what I had spare, you must ask me again when I have been paid. This would be my advice to anyone. NEVER lend money and wait around to be repaid, just GIVE what you can afford...
@catbvq (364)
• Philippines
25 Jun 07
Thank you for your suggestion,I'll try it the next time he comes back asking me again.
• United States
21 Jan 08
That's very good advice. LENDING money without a contract is risky business. No one wants a contract with their friend and family, which makes for soon to be ex friends or family members you are mad at. I make it my rule not to lend money. I have 6 kids, and work hard to make my money.
@dons626 (404)
• Philippines
20 Jun 07
Sometimes I feel pity for those people who wants to borrow money. But if someone told me that this person has the reputation of not paying, well, I will not gamble my hard earned money to lend him. Better talk to the person who lend money from you. If its a big amount, tell him to pay you little by little. That way at least you'll get your money back. Or tell him straight to the point that you needed the money. Good luck catbvq :)
@catbvq (364)
• Philippines
25 Jun 07
Thank you for your suggestion. May be if I tell him to pay me little by little, it won't be hard for him and he will be able to pay me.
@stvasile (7317)
• Romania
31 May 07
Yes, I can and do refuse borrowing money to people (family or not) that does not pay it back. It's a lesson someone must learn the hard way: if you don't pay back your debts, you won't get any money the next time you need it!
@Sandy100 (141)
31 May 07
I had this probelm with a friend in the past, she would forever be asking to be leant small amounts when we were out ($10-30), which made it hard to say no. But she was really bad at paying back and it soon mounted too hundreds. In the end I had to be quite firm and just say no and pointed out how much she owed in total (she was totally unaware of how much had built up and was quite embarassed i think) and we set up an arrangement to pay it back. I think you just have to be direct with the person and say you need the money back, in my experience there not trying to keep your money but don't really think about you and how you might need it. Hopes this helps a bit.