He took my daughter from me
By Swtrose
@Swtrose (3385)
Canada
June 2, 2007 12:20pm CST
My daughter was born with a congenital heart defect. When she was just five weeks of age, Closed heart surgery was performed on her. Prior to her surgery, she was required to undergo a heart (cardiac) catheterization to check for any conditions that might have increased the risk of problems during surgery. During the cardiac catheterization there was an accidental puncture to the heart.
The cardiologist who handled her catheterization failed to report this to the chief cardiologist. My daughter underwent heart surgery and she died on the operating table, as the result of negligent conduct by a physician. My daughter was taken from me that day.
She would have been 15 on June 17th.
If you were me, would you ever be able to forgive this doctor? I find it hard to forgive him, not because he failed as doctors are not God. I have a hard time forgiving him because he did not do everything he should have to save her life.
Due to negligence of doctors I lost my child.
13 people like this
19 responses
@jiffys_frog_woman (4050)
• United States
3 Jun 07
i am so sorry you lost your little girl i would of sued but that would not of brought her back again i am so sorry
2 people like this
@jiffys_frog_woman (4050)
• United States
3 Jun 07
thank you i rated your topic a +
2 people like this
@morgandrake (2136)
• United States
2 Jun 07
That is sad.
I understand the concept of forgiveness, but there are just some things that I find unforgivable. And this is one of them. It should have been reported.
I won't be able to forgive him.
2 people like this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
2 Jun 07
Oh how sad, I feel your pain this is so so sad, I don't think you can just say I will forgive and it happens, forgiveness is like love you have no control over it, forgiveness is something that I feel comes from a higher place, it is given to you or not, you cant force it anyway. I guess the things I would be saying to myself is everything that happens to you is for a reason, a part of the big Swtrose big picture, your little baby would be in a much better place after playing her role in that picture, and I bet her little spirit is still around you. Take care my friend, and be kind to yourself.
@mommy20212004 (350)
• United States
3 Jun 07
I could not and would not forgive anyone that was responsible for the loss of one of my children. I am so sorry that you had to go through this and cannot even imagine what that must have been like for you.
2 people like this
@teleios (737)
• Philippines
3 Jun 07
i cannot imagine the pain that comes from losing a child due to the carelessness of others. there are some things that are just so hard to forgive, and this is one of them. however, i think there will be a time when you will find it in your heart to forgive this man, not for his sake but for yours. refusing to forgive and let go of the anger that you feel will leave you carrying that feeling with you, and you will keep on suffering as a result, while the man who is responsible may have already forgotten about this incident a long time ago. so basically, you're the only person still suffering because of this. and i really dont think your daughter would want that.
2 people like this
@Y2J_Lionheart (23)
• United States
3 Jun 07
That is unfortunate for you. I also would do neither on forgiving the doctor or not forgiving the doctor. For someone to, even accidentally, take someone's life away that was related to me, I would never forgive them. Because of that, I wouldn't have to see the doctor anymore or basically just forget that he existed.
2 people like this
@loved1 (5328)
• United States
3 Jun 07
What a horrible thing to have to go through. I can't imagine how it would feel to lose a child. It would be really hard to not be bitter about the whole situation, and it would be a very hard thing to forgive the doctor that made the mistake, but it really is something that needs to be done. I think your daughter would be happy knowing that you forgave him and were at peace about the situation. I wish you the best and hope that you can find a way to forgive the doctor, even just for your own benefit. *hugs*
1 person likes this
@lauriefnp (5111)
• United States
2 Jun 07
I'm so sorry that you lost your daughter this way. I'm sure that every day is difficult, but this time of year must stir up all of your emotions, grief, and anger all over again.
I feel as you do- doctors do, unfortunately, sometimes make mistakes. They are human- not perfect. I could forgive a true mistake or if something just went wrong. I could never forgive the fact that this doctor lied and covered up his mistake, and cost a little girl her life. NEVER!! I would do everything in my power to be sure that he paid financially and that he lost his license to practice medicine, so that he could never hurt anyone again.
I pray for you and your daughter, and I hope that the doctor responsible never has a good night's sleep for as long as he lives.
1 person likes this
@Springlady (3986)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Oh swtrose, I am so sorry! That must have been hell for you and your family. I can't even begin to imagine what you must have gone thru and are still going thru.
As a Christian, I know I have to forgive, but in this situation, only God can help you to forgive. Did the Dr even admit that he made a mistake or take any responsibility for his mistake? If I were a Dr and I had messed up like that, I would not want to practice medicine anymore. I couldn't.
I will think about you and pray for you. The loss of a child has to be a parent's worst nightmare.
Again, I am so sorry!
1 person likes this
@dina60 (37)
• United States
3 Jun 07
I am so sorry for your lose. The doctor was negligent in not reporting the accidental puncture to the heart to the chief cardiologist. Doctors are not perfect and they make mistakes, but in this case he was negligent. Once again I am sorry for your lose.
1 person likes this
@CoffeeAnyone (3210)
• Canada
4 Jun 07
Why oh why didn't he report his mistake. I really dont' understand that. He must of been trying to cover his tracks. Did you sue this doctor? I know it is years later but if you have unresolved issues with these doctors then I can see how it would be hard to forgive. I am not one to talk to when it comes to forgivness so i guess I won't say anymore. I know what is good and right to do. Like Forgive! But I have a really hard time doing it in some cases.
1 person likes this
@msjigga (864)
• United States
3 Jun 07
Hi Swtrose, I am so sorry to about your loss. It would be extremely hard for me to forgive that doctor. When you are pregnant you start to bond with your child and to lose something so close to you has to be hard. I am a Mother of 2 and I could not imagine life without any of them. I think there should be better malpractice laws against doctor instead of laws protecting them. I am so sorry.
1 person likes this
@raisingsaints (217)
• United States
3 Jun 07
The bond between mother and child is so strong. That's why it hurts so much, but that bond extends into the afterlife. You are bonded for all eternity, she is always with you, at least that's my belief.
I can't pretend to know what I would do in your situation because I haven't been there, but here is what I hope I could do.
1. Grieve, both alone and with my husband, other children, and family.
2. Celebrate my little one's birthday. Visit her grave, look at pictures (if it's not too painful), maybe grieve some more.
3. Try to forgive the doctor. If I didn't it would harm me and the rest of my family. I would be in bondage and not be able to get on with the rest of my life.
Forgiveness isn't necessarily a feeling, but a decision.
If you're religious, ask God to give you the desire to forgive, to help you forgive, and to heal the wound. Sometimes just saying "I forgive him" out loud a few times can help.
1 person likes this
@KissThis (3003)
• United States
2 Jun 07
I have never felt the loss of a baby that I carried for nine months and then lost because of a doctor making a mistake. I have felt the loss of losing a baby at eight months gestation. So I do kinda feel your pain.
You ask if I could forgive someone for the loss of my child due to their failure to admit to making a mistake. No, I couldn't forgive a doctor if my child would die because they weren't mature enough to have made a mistake. If the doctor had admitted to making the mistake and they tried to correct the error I would have tried to forgive them then.
I am truly sorry that you lost your daughter. No one can truly know the pain that you feel.
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
3 Jun 07
Swtrose, my friend, I can empathize with you...I don't think that I could ever forgive the cardiologist who mishandled her cardiac catheterization....I am quite frankly appalled at his lack of professionalism and ethics...and, in my opinion, should have lost his license and possibly faced criminal charges....
I am so sorry for your loss...
1 person likes this
@4cuteboys (4099)
• United States
2 Jun 07
I can't say I know how you must feel because I have no idea, and I hope I don't ever have to find out, however I feel very sad that this happens. I am sorry it happened to you. :(
I would never ever forgive the doctor.
1 person likes this
@Cassy1976 (796)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
I was saddened to read about this swtrose, I can not believe a doctor could be that negligent, we put our lives and the lives of our loved ones in their hands everyday and for them to make a mistake like that is unforgivable, I would never be able to forgive him. Happy Birthday to your little girl for the 17th of June, I will think about her on that day!
@Superfluous (284)
• Philippines
3 Jun 07
Aww.. sad.. It would be really really hard for me to forgive that doctor.. taking such a precious treasure of yours.. :(
1 person likes this
