Complainers Get You Down? / myLot

June 7, 2007 12:28pm CST

I have a relative who I used to like a lot, she's really very funny, but OMG she just complains non-stop about everything. For that last two years it's been about her health and heaven help anyone who suggest she give up that three-pack-a-day habit, but she is always in some sort of fight with co-workers (for the last 45 years) and friends, it's just non-stop. Once, when we moved and I had to change my phone number I "forgot" to give it to her for about two months, and then someone else gave it to her. When I read an article about emotional vampires, it described her perfectly. I also read a brochure from Al Anon once and it said that people who create constant drama, and can't really get along without it, are often from homes where one or both parents were alcoholics and that they get so emotionally attached to the drama they can't break the cycle. The problem is that I often feel guilty, because of course I complain too and I like to have someone to talk to (like I'm doing on this post). I'd love to see other people's insights on this.

2 responses

pallidyne

@pallidyne (858)

• United States

7 Jun 07

Everyone needs to vent, but is it constant? Also, when something good happens do you share that too? Do look forward to sharing it? I've been very conscious of this, mostly due to some mental illness issues in my family-- this making me very conscious of anything that might be anomalous. In this case, I'd ask yourself, how much positive do you want to share, and how much do you?

ShawnDay

@ShawnDay (227)

•

7 Jun 07

I'm **usually** the type that would have major surgery and be wiped out by a tornado and not tell anyone. But, once it settles down in a week, a month or a year down the road I'll write a humorous editorial about the experience.

laydee

@laydee (12798)

• Philippines

24 Jul 07

Yeah, it definitely gets me down. Specially if they start my day with complaints. I mean, we can't do anything about the complaints anyways, so why repeat it over and over again. Right? The worst type of complainers are those who aren't really looking for ways to make things better. I agree with you about your co-worker. Whew. I have a friend who kept on complaining about her mother-in-law and yet keeps on going to that person's home. I mean, if she didn't want to see that mother-in-law, why'd she go back?! Whew. I think complainers need attention. They love the attention that's why they repeat the same mistakes. Over and over again. Whew. My ears have become deaf to these things. I'd rather have a lame, shallow talk with someone, rather than have a person waste my life over the same complaints. Whew! hehehe.. Here's a joke about complaints, I have posted this one in another post though, but it's funny: Brother John entered the "Monastery of Silence" and the Abbott said, "Brother, this is a silent monastery; you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so." Brother John lived in the monastery for five years before the Abbott said to him, "Brother John, you have been here five years now; you may speak two words." Brother John said, "Hard bed." "I'm sorry to hear that," the Abbot said. "We will get you a better bed." After another five years, Brother John was called by the Abbott. "You may say another two words, Brother John." "Cold food," said Brother John, and the Abbott assured him that the food would be better in the future. On his 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Abbott again call Brother John into his office. "Two words you may say today." "I quit," said Brother John. "It is probably best, you've done nothing but complain since you got here." =)