What would you do? (when someone unvited pushing themselves in)

June 9, 2007 3:52pm CST
I'd like to ask this question. If you didn't like someone, in fact you had many reasons why you wouldn't like them and could be as far towards "hate" being best suited. Would you let/allow them to push themselves into an a party which doesn't have anything to do with them? To many times I put others feelings before myself and I am getting sick of moments like above. I honestly don't like feeling awkward but it's my sons party and I was paying, but this person still thought they'd push themselves in. Next time I am putting my foot down because I don't feel I should be forced and that it should be down to me. Regardless if this upset the person or someone else connected. What's your take? ~Joey Much appreciated.
5 people like this
11 responses
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
9 Jun 07
If it's being held in yopur house and your son is a minor so to speak then put your foot down. It's your house, and your rules are what matters there. Set that foot down firmly and state your reasons and say goodbye to this individual I say. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
9 Jun 07
I've been trying to do this nicely. Although it's my house (my parents) and it doesn't matter where it is this person invades us like she's a part of us. such as my wedding. Thanks for the response buddy, ~Joey P.s I can't wait for my own place so I can say what's what. I'm tired of having my feelings ignored by people and it makes issues for my wife and I. (she doesn't like this person either)
2 people like this
@kgwat70 (13396)
• United States
9 Jun 07
I would not allow someone to come in if they were not invited, especially if I did not know them at all. I would feel uncomfortable and unsafe by allowing a stranger in. The only people I would allow to my party are people that are friends of mine or a friend of theirs that I know that would not cause trouble. I would tell that uninvited person that they would have to leave.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 07
Absolutely NOT, trouble is my friend my stubbornness can be a cross to bear but it can also help and I would let the stubbornness take over, no matter who I hurt, sometimes I cut my nose to spite my face but certainly in your situation they would be out, no questions asked, if you are paying he had no right and that would aggravate the hell out of me my friend. You need to look after YOU, I know it's not easy keeping the peace sometimes, but sometimes you do need to put your foot down, respect!
@Lydia1901 (16354)
• United States
9 Jun 07
I think you should go ahead and do that, Joey. Sometimes, you just got to stop being nice and tell it like it is. I know that is what I would do.
1 person likes this
@cassidy22 (2975)
• United States
15 Aug 07
I had a friend who married this woman that none of us really liked. And she TOTALLY hated me. But because I really liked my friend, I could never tell him to leave his wife at home. So she would end up at parties at my house, or other friends' houses. At my house, she got drunk and started taking her clothes off. So embarassing. I had several friends who helped me get them OUT of my house at 4AM! It was awful. At another party, she threatened to beat me up, but believe me, I had back up. I tried to never start anything with her. I just kept my mouth shut. They are now divorced, because she cheated on him. Too bad they have 2 kids. She was never a nice person. I even sent her flowers once, to try and keep the peace. Oh well, some people just don't get it.
@lols189 (4797)
15 Aug 07
i would stop them coming to the party too. you do what is best joey and dont let anyone take you for a fool mate
• Portugal
10 Jun 07
That's a very bad situation. I was like you, thinking about others feelings first, nowadays i'm not like that. First i think about me, my son and my wife. If someone is pushing in... i simply "kick" them out. I don't care about others think of me. If i feel that's the right thong todo... I'll do.
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
10 Jun 07
send out invites and say by invitation only, and tell him up front he was not in the invitee list
@FSCAries (881)
• United States
10 Jun 07
Yeah, there's no way I would let an inivited guest that I didn't care for into a party that I was throwing. There is no way I would let someone come in a ruin a special time for me, especailly if they had already been problematic in the past.
@jewel102 (105)
• United States
10 Jun 07
I will call that person apart and tell him in a good way that please make you the favor to leave your party, your house or whatever. If he or she does not respond the way you expect, I will call the police or somebody else that help me to push him or her out of my party. You have all the right and don't let anybody makes you feel down because you don't want hurt his or her feelings, this is no, no.
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
9 Jun 07
You shouldn't be forced to do something you don't want to do. If you are hosting the party and paying for it, then it is your right to invite the guests or not invite someone. If a person shows up uninvited, then you have the right to tell them to leave, by doing it in a polite manner, if you can. On the other hand, ask yourself what is it about this person that you might hate? Is it really worth wasting your energy disliking someone? I am not saying you have to suddenly like them or invite them to your party. But maybe change your feelings to a more neutral stance. You say you are sick of letting others have their way. Your feelings are your feelings and it is not selfish to cater to your feelings before someone elses. See what happened? You became upset with yourself because you let someone else control your feelings. If you can put yourself first and then tell this person to leave, then you might not be upset about it. Some will say this is selfish to think of yourself first, but in this case I don't agree. Think back to all the times you bowed down to the wishes of others and it created anger or bad feelings within you. It is worth giving up your best interests to always feel bad? You are not responsible for someones else's feelings. So if you upset them, it is not your fault, it is the person who chooses to be upset that takes the responsibility for their feelings. They might blame you for upsetting them, but in reality they made that choice for themselves. The same as if you become upset, you make that choice for yourself. You can be firm with others and not choose to let them upset you.