So you charge your older children rent, (room/board)......

No you don't need to ask for rent. You should to expect it. I know someone who has expected their children to buy soap and shampoo with an amounted given to them each month to teach them how to manage money. It only makes it easier for them to survive in this world. I know someone who has 4 children living at home. The ages are as follows: 40, 39, 38 and 36. They do not pay or contribute very much. One doesn't even work and has not it 6 years or more. If it were me the grass would be mowed, dishes clean and the trash would be out. If not... they would be looking for a place to live. I shouldn't have to ask a grown up to do what is necessary. I would be damned before I support someone else's child. If you do not agree with me, do you have an extra room for me to move in as well?

First off, why is your daughter's bf living with you? Does he not have parents of his own? And if he's not in college, he ought to be working and living in his own house. Secondly, your son should definitely be paying you more than that lousy $200 he gave you. Does he not work? If you don't work, you don't eat. We love our children and we do our best to ensure that they can make it, but it's so easy to cross that from caregiver to enabler. I was on my own at 17 and made it just fine. There's no reason why your grown kids can't get a job and pay at least a quarter, if not half, of your bills.

I want to know what has happened that adult children have to move back home with their parents? When I left home at the age of 16 I was not expected to move home when things got rought. I did when I was pregnat and my husbad was out of work but not for more than a month. It was just expected that once you left the parents job of financinal support was over. Oh you could maybe borrow if things got desperat but that was it. But now it seems that kids hexpect to have the right to move back home whenn things get rough. It's like they are owed aplace to live. Even if your daughter is going to college she should be helping with the finances some and out would go the boyfriend and out would come the air conditioner. We aas parents are not doing our kids any favors by doing as you are. But you have to know that you are not the only one. Why is it so much harder now than it was when we were young. people earn more and every thing cost more but it was the same back when I left home. I lived in a 2 room apart w/ a shared bathroom. I paid $30 amont but I made $30 a week I also hade a car payment and insurance and all the rest of living expences. where did our generation go wrong?

Well, I was a child that moved back in with my parents, and believe me, they wouldn't put up with that! My hubby and I were 33 when we moved in with his parents. We had 2 kids, and a third one on the way. We had free reign of the house, as long as we followed their rules. Some rules we set up, so we felt like we were contrubuting. One of the first things we did was purchase a new dishwasher for my MIL. Hers was old, and there was no way I was going to learn the "special" way to start it. My hubby waited until they were gone one weekend, and we purchased it and hooked it up. We also had our own chores to do. The kids shook out the rugs (They were 3 & 5.) MIL and I took turns each week cooking and as one cooked, the other did dishes after. It was a really sweet deal, and we both miss that part of living together. Now, I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty. It's just the kind of people we are. I will suggest that you sit down with your "children" and let them know what the problems are. Does the daughters boyfriend have a job? If not, then he definately needs to be gone! That's just being a lazy free-loader. If you don't want to ask them for rent, at least tell them you expect them to pick up after themselves, Do their own laundry, and if they don't cook, make them do dishes. Tell your daughter's boyfriend that he needs to get of his behind as well. Be firm, and most of all, DON'T GIVE IN! They will take advantage of you as long as you let them. I wish you the best of luck, my friend.

Everyone living in a house, child or adult, should be responsible for their mess and part of the household labor. Financially, I take it case by case. A hard working college student should not be charged rent, a child going through a divorce or separation and trying to get on their feet ahould not be charged rent (at first anyway), an adult child who is struggling to find work (but is actively looking and trying) should not be charged rent, etc. A boyfriend/girlfriend, student or not, is not your responsibility and should be paying rent. Also, before allowing a grown child move in, it is important to establish rent and other expectations.

The economy is tough right now. They couldn't live anywhere else for free. Either charge them rent or assign them a utility to pay for or groceries or something. But they should all be chipping in. And since the boyfriend is not your child, I would definitely let him and her know if he can't help out he has to go. It's bad enough when we let our own kids run over us. But please draw the line at letting someone elses child run over you. Believe me though, I am not judging. I have six children. 3 of which are grown and they all live at home. I am a single parent, and I rarely asked them to contribute. But things got to be more than I could handle. When I explained it to them, they really surprised me at their willingness to pay rent. I expected a big backlash and resentment. But they understood that they needed to contribute and did. Of course there have been times they missed but hey.

Hello canjo I was just looking and saying thanks to those that geve me best response and was rereading your discussion and was wondering how you came out with you kids and getting them streightened out with the chorse and so forth.