My daughter the drama queen

@cynddvs (2950)
United States
June 12, 2007 8:45pm CST
My daughter has become a drama queen here lately. Whenever she doesn't get what she wants she throws herself in the floor and throws a fit. She is almost 20 months old so I know this is just a phase but it's driving me crazy. For the most part unless she looks like she may hurt herself I just ignore these outbursts. I'm not going to reward that kind of behavior by giving her attention. I'm just hoping that once she realizes this isn't getting her what she wants she'll eventually stop this. Did any of your kids have these dramatic outbursts? How do you handle it?
5 people like this
14 responses
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
13 Jun 07
yes, it's normal. One of my sons is outgrowing the temper tantrum phase, (he's almost three) and has replaced it with WHining, (which he goes in time out for), I almost wish he'd just throw himself on the floor, kicking and screaming again, I honestly think it'd be easier than his incessive whining!(: BUt I try not to let it bother me, otherwise he will notice that it works. (: THe youngest is nine months, and has thrown quite a few tantrums already (usually when he is sleepy). Like you, I tend to ignore it. When he gets a little older though, I will most likely do time outs, they tend to be the most effective way of handling it (for my boy at least, we'll see with the baby, as he gets older, as every child is different). WHen they are almost two, you just tell them, if you don't stop, you will recieve a time out.. (they won't stop, especially at the beginning, because they have no idea what a time out is) and when they don't stop, plop them in a corner, where they can't see you, but you can see them. Just getting them to sit there for the alotted time at first will be a great victory. Eventually, after you've picked them up and put them back down a hundred times, they will learn, that no matter how many times they get up, mommy will make them sit, and if they just serve thier time, it will be done with. I use a timer, and they get one minute per a year (Ie a 2 year old recieves 2 minutes) It helps them to deal with their emotions, and try to get a handle on it. After the time is up, go to them and comfort them, and try to talk about it. They may not understand a whole lot yet, or act like they don't, but they will begin to see that there are consequences for thier actions. Now I don't think this should be instilled for EVERY temper tantrum. Many times, tantrums happen because the child is tired, or hungry, and I think dealing with the root of the problem, is much more important than the symptoms. Also, sometimes children just need to vent, as long as they don't get out of hand, and are not disrespectful, I see no problem with letting them wail around on the floor for a minute. It's when they refuse to pick themselves up, or are being rude and disrespectful that I think a child earns a time out. I hope I helped. these are of course just the guidelines I use for my son, Every child is different, and every family must choose for themselves what works and what doesn't work. Good luck to you!
2 people like this
@cynddvs (2950)
• United States
13 Jun 07
I'm going to have to start trying time out. I haven't tried it yet because I didn't think my daughter would understand. I usually just send her to her room and that upsets her because when she gets mad like that she hates being alone. And I do always try to figure out what she is mad about to try to fix it. But once I've gone through trying to feed her, give her a drink, put her down for a nap, etc sometimes I just have to give up. Thanks for the advice. I'm going to start trying the time out thing and see how it works out.
1 person likes this
@BROWNEYEZ (448)
• United States
13 Jun 07
NOT ALWAYS IS IT JUST A PHASE I IGNORED IT AND MY DAUGHTER IS NOW FIVE AND STILL HAS HER OUT BURST. SHE IS OLDER KNOW SO IAM IN THE PROCESS OF CONTROLING IT AND SHE IS GETTING BETTER LITTLE AT A TIME. i USE TIMEOUT METHOD AND ALSO TAKE THINGS AWAY FOR A DAY SOMETIMES TO WHETHER IT BE HER TOYS, HER VIDEO GAME, T.V OR SWEETS. SHE IS ALMOST TWO TIMEOUT WOULD BE THE BEST THING. ALSO DONT IGNORE IT TOTALLY. IGNORE IT TILL SHE CALMS DOWN THAT WILL SHOW HER THAT YOU WILL NOT ENTERTAIN HER BAD BEHAVIOR. ATTENTION IS PROBABLY WHAT SHE IS LOOKING FOR SO DONT GIVE IT TO HER. WHEN SHE CALMS DOWN TALK TO HER SHES TWO SHE WILL UNDERSTAND. EXPLAIN MOMMY DOES NOT LIKE WHEN SHE ACT BAD AND DOES THAT. IF SHE THROWS A FIT CAUSE SHE WANTS SOMETHING IN YOUR TIME OF TALKING TO HER TELL HER SHE WILL NOT GET AND MENTION WHAT SHE WAS ASKING FOR AND TELL HER THAT SHE WILL ONLY GET THINGS IF SHE ASK NICELY AND THAT THROWING A FIT OR BE BAD WILL GET HER NOTHING. I USE THESE TECHNICS WITH MY DAUGHTER AND THEY DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
• United States
13 Jun 07
i dont have any kids, but i did babysit my cousins who acted like this... the best way to set up a "game" like a chores game or anything that you need help with around the house etc. (my cousins love these games.) get a board, and have some stickers. everytime she completes the thing you ask her to do, give her a sticker on the board. everytime she throws a fight take the sticker off. you must tell her the rules though. and you must pick a certain amount of stickers she would get and stop to recieve a prize. idk if youll agrre but it may help a little.
1 person likes this
@cynddvs (2950)
• United States
13 Jun 07
I'll have to give this a try. My daughter is now getting to the age where she can help me clean a little. Maybe this could be something fun to reward her for good behavior and make her aware of her bad behavior. Thanks for the tip.
@carlaabt (3506)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Ugh. My son does that, too. If I tell him he can't have something, he will throw himself down and kick and scream and tell everyone that they are bad bad! lol Sometimes it's hard not to laugh at him. But instead I just try to ignore him as long as we are home and he can't get to anyhing that could hurt him. Usually he gives up once the dogs leave, too. He loves having an audience.
1 person likes this
@cynddvs (2950)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Don't you hate that when your child is doing something bad but you have to laugh. I have to catch myself from laughing at some of the things my daughter does all the time. I don't want her to think it's ok but it does get kind of funny at times.
@Gemmygirl1 (2871)
• Australia
15 Jun 07
Yep, my daughter has just gone 1 & has been doing it for the past few weeks, she gets on to her hands & knees then starts banging her head on the floor. It's usually only when you take something away from her that she knows she isn't supposed to have. The most recent was an hour or 2 ago, she wanted the tooth brush (after we brushed her teeth) but i didn't want her choking on it so i didn't let her have it - she did it then, followed about 10 or 15 minutes later by another head banging session where she had the TV remote taken off her - she hates being told NO. She also runs away if she is holding something she shouldn't & you go after her - as soon as you take it away, she drops & bangs. The loud whaling starts as well. I agree - i hope she gets out of this phase quickly coz i really don't want her to hurt herself. Usually i ignore it like you do, or i just move her to where her sofa bed is & if she insists on continuing to bang her head, at least she wont hurt herself in the process.
• United States
13 Jun 07
I have one myself. She's 3yr old and she is soooooooo dramatic to a point where we call her QUEENdrama diva, because if she knows she can get you in truoble or get you to look at her she doing. Like when her brothers(older)tell her she can't do sometime she'll let out a cry like someone hurt her and then come down stairs holding something like her arm, face, leg something and she'll fall all out. Its sicken. I hope she grows out of it soon.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15323)
• United States
13 Jun 07
My daughter did this when she was between 2 and 3. About the 4th or 5 time I had had enough when I remembered what my aunt had done to stop her son doing this. It really was quit by accident that she put a stop to it. she was getting ready to throw out thedishwater when he started haveingone of his tantums so she just with out even thinking threw it on him. She said he never had another one. So I was setting at the table with a 1/2 glass of water so I just threw it on her. She was so suprized that she stopped emmediatly. She did start to throw one a couple of times after that but I just ask her if she like the water. she said no and that was the end of that. You might think it's crule but it beat haveing her throw a tantram every time we turned around.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 07
My daughter did the same thing. I had company over one afternoon and my daughter pulled that face down on the floor crying trick. I had enough and right in front of the company I walked over picked up by the back of her clothes and said "You want something to cry about? Well now you've got it" and I smacked her bottom and laid her back face down on the floor. The was a deathly silence my friends were speechless and my daughter was so shocked she immediately stopped crying. Guess what...she never pulled that stunt again.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 07
Ok, well I don't have kids but my mom sure does. When she had that problem with my brother, she just ignoring that kind of behavior and teaching him better. They will outgrow it...they want attention to let you know that they don't want something.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 07
My son is 2yrs.8mos. He is the drama KING for our house. He, too, will kick and scream if things don't go his way. We talk to him and he has gotten a spanking several times. I hope this is just a passing phase. I understand they are growing, and learning new things everyday. I hope discipline is something learned soon! I love my son, but I am not willing to spoil him out of Love.
1 person likes this
• India
13 Jun 07
Handling kids is such a big problem. I have two kids, my daughter is 4 years & my son is 2 years.They both are very demanding & very dominating also. The moment i don't fulfill their wish they throw tantrums. The best i do is i just stop talking to them. They have to feel sorry then only i start talking to them, they should realise their mistake.
• United States
13 Jun 07
i will be watching this one closely. even though i don't have kids yet all information will help me in this matter for sure....lol
1 person likes this
13 Jun 07
I'm sorry you won't like this but I think it's very sweet but if it me facing the issue I'm sure I wouldn't. I guess at times my son (who's a year and 1 month) is a drama queen sometimes he trips and without falling he cries his eyes out until someone picks him up. I actually find that cute :) Kudos, ~Joey
1 person likes this
@tina12679 (1126)
• United States
13 Jun 07
I have a specialist in my family LOL She has perfected the art of the teper tantrum. She will be 4 in September. I also have a 6 nad a half year old that still does her own kind of tantrums it maynot include throwing herself down but it is a tantrum anyway. I was hoping that since she has never been rewarded for them that she might of grown out of it but she hasnt i now am hoping that the end of them are growing near LOL. Now as for my other daughter she is still young i still never reward her bad behavior either, but she is very relentless and doent have the surrender gene in her entire body LOL so if they throw these tantrums at home and they arent hurting themselves or anyone else then i leave the room and let them go or stand themin the corner. If we are in public i try my hardest to get them to behave long enough to get them to the car and then i yell at them not that it does anygood but when we get home they get stood in the corner before doing anything else. it seems to be working a little. I hope you find something that works for you. Good Luck