help me to control my anger

India
June 27, 2007 1:47pm CST
Hi, I am a mother of a 2 year old cute boy...I love him very much and I keep thinking of ways i need to grow him up, so that he becomes very active and healthy. I have become very short tempered now a days and I keep showing my anger on him..like scolding him...i regret afterwards for what i had done.....what should i do to control myself....poor kid..he get scolded for none of his fault....help me out
3 people like this
29 responses
• Philippines
27 Jun 07
I have a two-year old girl, and she can be very irritating at times, what I do is I walk away and come back after a few seconds. Counting 1-10 helps sometimes. There are also cases when I don't have time to move away from her, so I just shut up and control my anger by putting the pressure on my teeth (it's kind of funny), after that I'm okay. I try to remember that getting angry at my daughter will not do anything good, she'll be affected emotionally and I'll have my wrinkles. Anyway, this needs practice. You have to start practicing now, so that when he's a lot bigger, you're an expert on anger management already:) good luck! I know you can do it.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 07
I have found that the best way to just calm yourself when your child is acting up is to put them in time out for like 5 minutes. I have a 16 month old and he's very rambunctious. When I feel like I may be losing it a little, I just put him in his room and give myself a minute to relax. When he comes out, we are both refreshed and things are easier. Good luck!
@Vixx06 (162)
27 Jun 07
It sounds like you are getting tired. He is just going thru a difficult stage at the moment (its called the terrible 2s for a very good reason). You are not a bad mother just someone that is learning at the same time he is. I have a 16, 5 and 3 year old. Each time I have had some problems when they are about 2. They are into everything and they start to develope their own personality. If you feel that you are losing your temper, take some time out. Put him in a buggy and take a walk. Let your little one do things in his own time. Dont push him to do anything. My youngest was the last to walk and the last to talk but she is very clever now. She helps my 5 year old do her homework. Keep strong it does get better soon.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15347)
• United States
27 Jun 07
Are you getting enough rest. You need to take care of your self. I know that when I get tired I get eretabel and end up taking it out on the kids. Also you have to remember that the little boy is just being a little boy and some thing you have to just let pass because it is boy stuff. But you also have to be tough and it is hard to know when to be what. These kids don't come with a working manual. boy it sure would be nice if they did. Remember he is only 2 so be care full and not push him too hard.
@tina12679 (1126)
• United States
27 Jun 07
This happens so often, i know i do the same thing. I have 3 kids that get the raw end of my temper. My youngest is also a 2 year old boy and he is terrible as to compared to the way my girls were at his age. I try to control my temper by taking step back when i think i am about to blow and leaving the room the kids are in not far but far enough to just chill. If your son follows try putting him somewhere safe but where he cant. A pack and play or his crib even a high chair is good for this. I put mine into his high chair with his cup a few times a day to just be able to get to another room and cool down. My girls know when they are to stay away, they are 4 and 6 now and they know the routine but still manage to get under my skin. I wish you luck i know it is hard and not possible to do everytime but it is a start.
• India
27 Jun 07
whenever you get angry count till 50.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 07
the best thing to do is walk away. If he is getting on your nerves just go to the bathrrom and sit there for a couple minutes to cool down. i know how you feel! Having a little kid who does not always understand WHY doing this is wrong or WHY they shouldnt touch that...it can get hard at times..just take a time out for yourself
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jun 07
i cannot control my anger sometimes, like you i get mad easily ,maybe because of the pressures of working and being a mom. i have a nine month old baby boy too, and because of him so very active,when i feel tired,i sometimes spank his butt.and i feel guilty afterwards. we have the same problem, but we can control it by having more patient to our dear kids. good luck to us.
@sharon_ (1171)
• United States
28 Jun 07
You spank your baby. Shame on you. I can understand being a new mom and all, but what you are doing to that precious baby is no excuse. Try to make more time for yourself. If your angry and the counting to 10 or whatever doesn't work, then call someone to come after your son.Have a support system.He doesn't know any better, but you do. This is serious, but I believe that you want to be a good parent.
• India
28 Jun 07
i practice yoga and meditation daily that keeps me under my control. for you, there's a simple rule. if you're angry on a person instead of shouting or hitting them, start loving them more. that will vanish all your anger.
@bhelle123 (290)
• Canada
28 Jun 07
i am also a mother of 13 months old cute baby boy. I love him so much, at his age he already wear 24 months pants/jeans, size 5 shoes and 24 months t-shirt sometimes size 2. His ver aver active and healthy I dont have any problem of his eating habit but when it comes to sleeping time, its very hard for me. I always lost my temper, i scolded at him sometimes. But I feel guilt after, what should I do, I will let him cry for a couple of minute, then carry him and after that he will fall asleep. I also ask a guidance from God, to extend my patience for my son. It is important to pray and He will give you a better relationship to your son.
@sidoney (1033)
• Jamaica
28 Jun 07
I have learnt from pass that if you are angry with a child just cool off then punish him later definitely did not him a child when you are angry as you mite go too far they are so small and can't defend them self and see it as an act of hate not love
• Nigeria
28 Jun 07
how can we help u when we dont understand ur problam
@viliux27 (103)
• Lithuania
28 Jun 07
You should do something nice,WITHOUT your child.Like relaxing in a SPA center or something.Get away from that stress.Give you husband a chance to be with his son...You should do this once a week or so until you feel better.
• United States
28 Jun 07
i always find myself ready to loose my temper so before i do i take a deep breath and i let it out as forcefully as i can or try to scream in a pillow
@mejluvya (213)
• United States
28 Jun 07
It's very tough being a parent. I am mom of three sons (13) (12) and (10). And believe me any parent who tells you that they've never lost their temper or had a short fuse once in ahile is lying. I have learned that when I'm having a bad day and it's showing, my boys are more agitated and restless which in turn causes arguments and fights. Even at two, your child can sense when you are in a bad mood. Now I use the oldest trick in the book. If the kids are driving me nuts or I'm having a bad day, I start counting. The experts tell you to count to ten, but sometimes it can take up to 50 to get me thinking "hey it's ok, I can handle this" And if you start now, as your son gets older he will know as soon as you start counting that mom's having a bad day maybe I should stop and chill out. My boys do and I've found myself as they get older I'm counting less often and not as high as I used to. Most of the time now I get to five and my oldest will say "are you ok mom, I'm sorry if I'm driving you nuts, we'll go outside and play" or something like that. The next time you feel like hollering or scolding ask your son if you can have a hug instead. But if he's doing something that you don't approve of discipline then hug.
@wachit14 (3601)
• United States
28 Jun 07
You sound like you are very stressed out. Try taking some deep breathes and just walk away for a few minutes. Take a minute for yourself whenver you can and just do something for yourself, like flipping through a magazine. However, if you feel that your anger cannot be controlled, then get some help. You'll be doing yourself and him a huge favor by acknowledging that you need some help. Finally, if all you need is to reach out to other moms, here is a great website where you can connect on all kinds of levels. Good luck! www.wahm.com
• United States
28 Jun 07
I have a wonderful son who just turned 3 and I also get that way. I will scold him, then apologize... he always accepts my apology and will say thats ok mommy but dont yell at me. Its cute when he says that and I feel better because he forgave me and he knows i didnt mean to. when i feel like i am going to scold him, i will walk away and busy myself. its just the life of having a toddler... i got very short tempered as well, but it all works out :-D good luck
• United States
28 Jun 07
i have 2 boys and a step daughter and i know how your feeling i get that way sometimes and they thought it was depression but it wasnt i think it silent migraines from what i understand about them everything and nothing bothers you for somereason but you dont have a headache so what i do is go in the other room or i get the kids interested in something in their room and i relax it could also be stress so just step back and think about the things you say and do and try to figure out what is really bothering you and try to take care of that were all here for you we have all been there a time or two or three or four it is part of being a parent hey try getting a sitter and just haveing some mommy time alone or with friends with no kids around it helps also or one on one time with dad i do a lot of different things to get me through
@abhi3d (6)
• India
28 Jun 07
Look at a fishtank. Observ the fishes carefully.
• China
28 Jun 07
you very love your cute bpy!!