How to comfort your best friend when he/she is crying?

China
June 28, 2007 1:56am CST
Hehe....maybe it is not a happy discussion.but I really want to know how to comfort your best friend when he/she is sad even cry. I have met this condition for many times,but I did not know how to deal with it.I just said "do not be sad,do not cry,and everything will be okay,everything will be fine."It is the common words,and maybe it is not the best way. As for you,how to deal with it? I need your suggest.....thnak you?
4 people like this
39 responses
• Philippines
28 Jun 07
I do the same as what you said,but i hug my bestfriend and i just hang on with her and let her cry. I want her to cry just to release the weight of the pain.Sometimes, when you are saying " do not cry, everything will be fine", for you you just comforting her, but wait till you got in her shoes and your the ones who are feeling what he is feeling, all you can say in your mind " its hard to not cry , i know everything will be fine , but im not ok ", so when im comforting my friend now, i just hug her and wait till she say a word. Im always here for her, till she wipe her tears and be strong again.
• China
28 Jun 07
yeah..you can hug them and let them cry....if they cry out..maybe they will feel relaxed and be better.....thank you...
@sharon_ (1171)
• United States
28 Jun 07
I try to comfort them the best way I can and that is to be there for them. I don't like it when it becomes a pity party. Whatever happened, you can't bring back the past. Get over it, and if you can't get some help.
• China
28 Jun 07
Maybe you needn't say anything,the best way you can do is that stand there and be a listener of him/her....help them get over it...thank you...
@JAY020582 (410)
• Philippines
29 Feb 08
we'll I assumed my friend is crying beacause something bad happen, I will try to help by asking what is the problem, and telling that I'm always here to help. just giving my friend the feeling that hr/she is not alone with his/her problem.
• China
28 Feb 08
It is a hard thing that meet a friend sad.Letting him or her cry probably is the best method.He or her needs let out.
@jolope (988)
• Philippines
13 Feb 08
i think the best way to comfort a friend is to listen.. to be ever present when they need someone to wipe their tears.. you can always just sit and look at them..even silence is comforting.. a good tight hug would be really nice too..it will remind your friends that you care..that you feel the pain..that you're ready to help..^_^ i hope this one does.. mwah!
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
2 Jul 07
It's ok to comfort someone by being at their side once in a while. But if it's becoming a regular thing, I think it's no longer healthy. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. You don't need to say a word and just be there should be ok. BUT. If it keeps on going this way, you should be mature about it. She's showing her weakness and is not doing anything to stop her pain. Simply because she knows you are there to comfort her, to baby her. I had a friend who was like that. I used to be there all the time, listening to her woes and hurts. Until finally, I told her to stop pitying herself. She should do something about it instead of just crying. Specially if the reason is the same. I honestly told her straight that her habit of crying is not making anyone happy anymore and if she doesn't change, I would stop talking to her since she doesn't do any effort of fixing herself in the first place. You need to be tough. You should not allow this all the time. She must learn to grow up, even if it hurts. Just take a look at our experience with our parents. Isn't it that they don't comfort us all the time? Isn't it that sometimes, even if you need comfort they'd rather scold you? That's it. You're not being a friend if you allow her to cry all the time. Friendship is not built on weeping. But built on how you can make your friend stronger. Be that friend.
@orbeltadz (506)
• Baguio, Philippines
30 Jun 07
Hmmm.. it's a serious thing when it comes to tears. I will approached him/her and ask what wrong! Later, I will advise some words to speak her/him out to me and every details should be carried through out why this things come and go.
@archer1811 (1099)
• Philippines
30 Jun 07
Hi! when my friends are in trouble, i dont actually give them any comments i just listen to them and in the end when they finally finish her comments to someone she's angry of, i just tell her not to give more attention to that i'll just make her ugly but seriously i tell her that everything well be okay for her. That's all. I am a best listener coz i hate to talk to much.
@steffy182 (170)
• Malaysia
30 Jun 07
hug them..
• India
29 Jun 07
mostly i stay numb...but gen. get tears in my eyes wen sum1 cries infront of me...if its my best friend i say de gen. things dont cry as such..then i giv examples of many ppl who got worst probs than us..as such i guess...
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
29 Jun 07
Hi. A couple of times where a friend has come around because somethings happened to her, crying and sobbing, then trying to justify her situation or make reasons for whats happened. All i do is hug and comfort them, I listen and let them tell me whats happened, when there ready, it doesnt take them long and they do. I let them know that Im always there for them, I offer snacks n coffee and usually they have a big cry and I let them cry and then they start justifying what happened and blaming themselves... Usually they come up with there own solutions, all they really need is to know they have someone here to listen to them, well thats what Ive experienced. There is no way that I would encourage false hope or enhance negative feedback about what they've just told me or encourage them to get revenge... They need to figure that out on there own... Thats personally speaking from experiences...
@jalbeos (1176)
• Philippines
29 Jun 07
It happened to me... when I was with my friend. He was not just sad, he was angry too that time. Well, for me, whenever I am on that situation, I should be a good listener. He/she will tell you, share everything... he/she needs someone who will listen him/her. However, it depends on the situation and do your best to comfort him/her. Try to think what you really want if you are sad... and do it to him/her. Nice topic.
@noerrorz (12)
• India
29 Jun 07
leave your best friend alone for sometime!! he or she will get just fine..
@Gwapako_28 (2142)
• Philippines
29 Jun 07
Well,based on my own experiences,i am the person which my friend message me/call me when they are depressed and wanted to cry.I know i am doing what is best for them to feel how much i understand and the way i comfort them. I let them talk their problems,and i let them see and feel how much i am listening and understand their pains and heartaches.Then,i keep telling that it is okay to cry and be sad because it is normal.And i tell them that i am here and wont never leave by their side. Then, when they cry to hard, i will give my shoulder for them to cry and a big hug while they are crying.After that,they will smile and say "thank you" to me... And i ask them if they feel okay and fine!!!In that way,its a simply way of comforting a best friend.But for them,its a big help to ease their pain.
@jazzygdc7 (285)
• United States
29 Jun 07
When my best friend is crying, i ask him what is wrong. I try to make him laugh and tell funny jokes and find other ways and do thing to cheer him up. This would be a good way to cheer up a best friend of yours.
• Philippines
29 Jun 07
I just let her/him cry and cry..just listen to his/her cry...until she/he stops then that's the time I'll ask about the reason why he/she is crying. Crying is one way of letting go of whatever pain in your heart. It's good to cry. A person who is crying can't explain breifely his/her problem so let him/her finish and after that ask "what's the problem dear?" :)
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
29 Jun 07
In my opinion, the only comfort is just to offer tissue and keep quiet. Let him cry for all he need. When it is done, he will feel better and all will be fine. There is no need to say anything even after he has stopped. Your presence is all that is needed.
@add_im (2712)
• Philippines
29 Jun 07
comforting a friend - comforting
For me, I would just make myself available for my friends so they have someone to lean on and count on to whenever they needed someone...I'm just always be there for them to comfort then and to build them up encourage them and just to talk to them in a way that they'll able to release their negative feelings from inside them.
@heartsick (832)
• Philippines
29 Jun 07
i'm not good in conforting my friends when their sad.. because most of the time they want to be alone and i respect that.. but sometimes i just sit beside them.. watch them cry.. and smile when they're done crying..
@aj2006 (1536)
• Philippines
29 Jun 07
...When a friend of mine is very sad and wants to cry. I make sure that I keep my silence and be as supportive as I can be, sometimes we just need to listen first..silence makes it easy for that period.