Is It Considered Lying If...

@biwasaki (1745)
United States
July 3, 2007 1:50am CST
I'm just curious as to what the consensus is on this subject: is it considered lying if you willingly choose not to tell your partner something that may potentially hurt him/her? Technically, you have to say something false in order for it to be called a lie. But what if you choose not to say anything at all and then your partner finds out about it later? Is that still considered a lie? Please explain your answer.
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14 responses
• Indonesia
4 Jul 07
yes it is lying. lying is an act of concealing a truth, whether by telling something or nothing at all. the truth, eventhough how much its going hurt, still better than any lie.
• Australia
4 Jul 07
I agree with you, concealing a truth is considered as lying. When you are in a court case for example, if you do not tell "everything of the truth" you are considered to be lying.
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@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
5 Jul 07
Good point about it being considered lying when you're in court and don't say anything.
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
3 Jul 07
Umm good question! I probably would consider it a lie because if I found out later about something and then I found out that he also knew all along and didn't tell me about it, then I would probably consider that a lie. I would rather he be straight up about it and tell me even if it will or could potentially hurt me. He is my husband, we are suppose to share things like this and not keep them from each other!
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@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
5 Jul 07
I agree, even if what he has to tell me may hurt me I would rather know NOW so that we can deal with it together and move on.
@brokentia (10396)
• United States
3 Jul 07
There is a fine line there between lying and deception. I would say that if you say something false in order to cover that something else up...it is a lie. However, if you just avoid that something and do not tell your partner, that is deception. Because as that person being your partner, you will know that something will hurt or not and if it is something that is valid and should be told. I have found it is probably just easier to tell and get it over with. It is like ripping the band-aid off. Just do it now before it has been there too long and it will hurt more....and do it quickly. ha ha
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@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
3 Jul 07
I love the Band-Aid analogy, that's a good one. And I agree, just tell the other person, deal with it, and get over it together.
@lynboobsy11 (11347)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
For me lying is bad and I don't want even to lie too, I not as that honest person but as much as possible I want to tell all the truth to someone even it is hurt. Even you protect or don't want to hurt someone Still it's a lie. Coz for me I don't want either my partner or anyone else lied to me and I always told my children always tell the truth. Coz I do believe there's no secrets can hide forever so why you have to tell a lie if you can say it. I don't want to disturbed my conscience we must accpt the fact that were only humans and we commits mistakes the importnant is you speak the truth and your not a liar.
• United Arab Emirates
4 Jul 07
It is not lying. It is just that we are hiding some facts that can hurt your parter's feelings. But, I think when the right time comes you have to tell instead of your partner finding it on their own. I think, they will understand that it was done with good intention of not hurting your partner.
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• Australia
4 Jul 07
That too would still be considered as a lie because: 1. You are not being honest which you promise to be when you were married 2. The truth does not ALWAYS have to be verbal, it can be an act as well so i think it is still lying if you are not telling them the truth or not telling them anything at all!
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@sid556 (31018)
• United States
4 Jul 07
it all depends on what you are not saying! If you don't disclose to your partner that you are seeing someone else and he trusts you so much that he doesn't ask...does that mean that you are not a liar? well, techinically you did not lie so i guess you could not be called a liar. You also could not be labled honest and trustworthy. in the end ...its all the same...its about trust.
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@tombiz (2039)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
Technically, concelling or keeping the truth is not lying. It's just like answering "NO COMMENT" to a certain question. However, if in rationalizing your action you have invented new story or invented circumstance, then that is already lying.
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@makingpots (11928)
• United States
3 Jul 07
Yes, I consider it a lie. When you know about something and you willingly keep the information from another person, it is still a lie. As the previous person wrote it is a lie of omission. Honestly, I commit lies of omission all the time to one of my sisters. She becomes a basket case about things and I don't feel it is my place to deal with her at those times so I choose to not inform her on some things. But when it comes to a spouse, I believe it is an entirely different ballgame. A marriage is entered into based on honesty and I think you must constantly seek to maintain that. I would be very hurt to learn of things my husband kept from me even if it was in my best interest to not know..... my husband would be the one person who could tell me and help me through whatever it would be.
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@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
3 Jul 07
hhmm wow thats a tough one...I think for me it would depend on WHAT exactly I'm keeping from him and HOW it would hurt him....I dont think it would classify as a lie mind you regardless of what it is but whether or not it could or would be considered shady/deceiptful is another story.....
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@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
3 Jul 07
Itdepends on. Say for an example that u have cheated and that u ignore to tell him. That I would consider a lie and a big betrayal. If it was something that happened before him , I guess that it would be ok. We all have a history and sometimes it is better to be quiet... BUT we should always be aware that the truth usually comes out and then it will be alot worse.
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• United States
3 Jul 07
No I don't think its lying. But I know it seems right to keep it from them so you don't hurt them, but in the end they will be even more hurt. And keeping it from them might conclude you to lying to avoid them finding out. Get what I mean?
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@spyjob (214)
• Philippines
3 Jul 07
I think it is considered concealing..lying is when you are not telling the truth. In this case, you don't tell anything, right? There's always a good reason behind if the intention is not to hurt the one you love. If your partner found it later that you hide something, it's just that he/she did not ask, that's why.
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@Mayuko (1272)
• United States
18 Jun 12
I think that is dishonest. Part of honesty is telling "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth". And think not telling someone something is considered a lie of omission.