be friend to an ex-friend
By maylaine
@maylaine (441)
Philippines
July 10, 2007 2:05am CST
i have this friend and we have been friends since college..she is the only person i trusted everything about me and my secrets..i am confident enough that she will not tell to anyone about my secrets...but some incident happened where in a common friend of our is asking me something about what my friend told her...that common friend of our is asking for a confirmation to what she said about me. i was really disappointed and mad..since then i never talk to my friend and i even ignored her...
IF YOU ARE IN A SITUATION WHAT WILL YOU DO?
4 responses
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
10 Jul 07
I am sorry for your troubles. In this situation, I would try to confront my friend about it. If your friendship is worth saving and you feel that she is a good person, maybe it is worth salvaging. I know your angry right now, but people do make mistakes and deserve the benefit of the doubt. Think about that. Sometimes the mistake they made is so bad that they have to suffer the consequences and lose a friendship, which is what recently happened to me. What my friend did was unforgivable so I have since moved on but it is a good thing that I did. So, think on that and maybe next time not divulge so many private things.
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
11 Jul 07
laydee, that is a good quote and very true! maylaine, we all make mistakes but not all of us learn from them, so we are very fortunate when we can fix what can be fixed. Thanks!
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
10 Jul 07
Maybe there was a reason why she told. Or are you 100% sure she told that friend? or maybe it was just made up.
For me, I don't really go into talking to people about my whole life and secrets no matter how close I get to someone. I do have best friends but I limit myself to myself. I don't open up everything. Because sooner or later something might happen (like the one that happened to you).
It could even be considered that I'm more open to my partner than to my friends. but I don't squill everything to my partner either. Only when we get married would he know everything. Well, not that I have dark secrets. *LOL*
If I were you, you try to weigh things down. I'd probably remain friends but no longer open up much to the person or to anyone, I would have already learned my lesson.
You should too.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
10 Jul 07
Yeah it's ok, you're welcome. You just try your best to fix yourself and decide if you still want to be friends with her or let the friendship die as a lesson for the both of you.
But for me, if the told secret is not really a big deal, then you should go path up things with your friend ~ you've been friends a long time, that should be something. Otherwise, if the damage done is too much and you just can't accept it, well, I guess any friendship isn't worth it at all.
But from now on, stop spilling all your beans on someone. Remember, if you talk to much about yourself you are showing that person how to hurt you.
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
10 Jul 07
I think I have to talk to her first, be calm and maybe be a little considerate more. Always put first in mind that she's your friend too, you have to be sure why, what and how it happened.
I always believe in listening on both sides, I give a fair chance and base the final actions on what they would say. Simple rule, "do not do onto others, what you don't want to do unto you."
If she's guilty, then atleast you knew the exact reasons coming straight from her mouth!;)
@prettonppeter (61)
• India
10 Jul 07
ur topic is cool
it some times happen so.tats wta life is.success depends on how u face it
