Do you plan to pay for your children to attend college?

United States
October 25, 2006 7:28am CST
So you think it is the parents' responsability to fund their child/children's higher education? I don't believe that. We have 4 children and 3 of them could possibly be in college at the same time. We don't plan to pay for any of them. We will help with what we can. They will have to get student loans and scholarships to pay the rest. That being said. My father did pay for my first year of college out of pocket and he almost went bankrupt doing it. They almost couldn't afford to pay my brother's high school tuition. The next year I got a loan. My brother almost didn't graduate because my parents couldn't pay his bill (which was about half my college tuition). By the time my brother started college my parents had 3 mortgages on the house trying to pay for it all. It was sad. It has been 11 years since I since I graduated high school and went off to college and my dad now owes $30,000 more on the house then when he bought it 18 years ago. He retired this year but his pension barely covers his mortgages. He hates the house (it is 4 bedrooms 2 1/2 baths and he lives alone) but he can't afford to sell it--he owes more then it is worth. I fell awful that it was partly because of me that he is in this situation. Myself--I only went to college for 2 1/2 years. Having to work to pay my rent and stuff was hard and made school harder sometimes but I didn't quit because I also had to work. I just lost interest and focus. I am still paying off my student loans. I owe about $500 still and it will be paid off by the end of next year. I think kids should pay their way through college because it builds character. It makes you really think about the choices you make in life. You could either study and get good grades or go party and possibly flunk out wasting your own money in the process. I don't know how many kids I saw getting a "free" ride from mom and dad. They even got "allowances" so they didn't have to work. Most of them never went to class (just enough to pass) and never studied. They kept their grades just high enough as not to flunk and didn't seem to have any concept of money. They spent it all on parties, video games and drinking.
1 person likes this
13 responses
@sbeauty (5871)
• United States
25 Oct 06
With our son, we paid part of the cost, and he is working now and paying off loans. I also spent his senior year applying for every scholarship I could find. I got $2200 which helped a little. Our son also worked two jobs during his senior year in high school and saved up some of the money. He graduated from college with a 3.6 grade average, even though he did do a lot of things with friends. I think the values you instill in your children make a lot of difference when they go out on their own.
3 people like this
@MrsFrizzle (1964)
• United States
25 Oct 06
It is so much money and hoenstly I feel that their should be a way for young adults everyone not matter the finacial background school recieve free colloege paid for by taxes.
• United States
25 Oct 06
I would love to be able to pay for it but just paying the bills some moneths are hard. I plan to give my child and allowance and teach them to put some of it away for college anything after that they will have to get a loan for.
2 people like this
• India
25 Oct 06
ya
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Oct 06
Thanks for your highly articulate response.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Oct 06
LOL... you tell then.
2 people like this
@crystal8577 (1470)
• United States
8 Dec 06
I am sure we will help to a point. Unless they get scholarships they will not get a free ride though. I will expect my kids to contribute to paying for their education. I have known to many kids to get free rides from the parents & blow it within the first year. No thanks.
1 person likes this
@orionsmomma (1081)
• United States
25 Oct 06
yes, but with hopes they will be able to earn scholerships.
1 person likes this
• India
14 Dec 06
ya.every parent does.
• United States
14 Dec 06
Every parent does what? Not every parent pays for college. My parents didn't pay for me to go to college. My dad tried. He paid my first year and I regret that I expected him to do that for me. He is in so deep now he will never have his house paid off and will never enjoy his retirement.
@JC1969 (1226)
• United States
14 Dec 06
As parents, a part of our responsibility to our children is helping them achieve a status where they are self-sufficient and able to be a productive member of our society. So yes, I do feel it is a parents responsibility to pay or assist in paying for their children to go to college. Sure, college is expensive, but why should I crush my child's dreams of attending college and becoming something by not trying to finance and assist in paying for their education. My son is a freshman at college this year, and I will tell you the rising costs of tuition makes it very unrealistic for an 18 year old with no credit established, to finance their own education. Grants and loans, financial aid, and scholarships barely cover it. My Son does workstudy to help pay for the cost, but we also pay a good portion, and loans and the small amount of financial aid covers the rest. We will do the same for all our kids. I find it an honor to be able to encourage and assist my children in their pursuit of becoming something and achieving their goals and dreams. I've just always thought that financially supporting our child doesn't stop until they are able to support themselves in a career or job they choose.
• United States
14 Dec 06
Well, by the time my 4 children are in college (my oldest 3 will be in college at the same time) I can only imagine the cost. I suppose we should mortgage our house a few times to pay for them to attend their school of choice. Then we can be like my dad who is 60 years old, struggling with the decision to retire or keep working because his railroad retirement won't be enough to cover the 3 mortgages he has (that he took out to pay for me and my brother's college). My dad worked his butt off when we were kids and has nothing to show for it because he felt like you did and tried to finance out education himself. He now owes more on his house then when he bought it 18 years ago and it isn't worth what he owes on it. He has had a heart attack and now suffers from severe anxiety that is keeping him from going back to work. I still believe that when I child turns 18 it becomes their responsibility to further their education. If they want to choose to go to a fancy expensive school that is their choice but they will have to figure out how to pay for it. They might have to decide to go to a less expensive school instead. They will have to work through school to help pay tuition. That is life. Like I said, we will help if we can but we have 4 children and I can't afford to pay 4 years for each of them. It would bankrupt us. And no we have no extra money to put aside now to save. We live paycheck to paycheck and have the minimum in our lives to get by and that is fine with us.
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
12 Feb 07
yes, when my daughter was born we set her up a college account. and then my son. the grandparents contribute when its christmas and birthdays, we will provide for both as thats what we as parents need to do for them to ensure that they have a good education and a great life. im sorry to hear of your hard ship and i hope that for your future and the kids, it gets better,
@starr4all (2865)
10 Jan 07
I'm not sure if I would say it's a requirement but I want to help my children if I can. I won't pay for all of it, they need to earn some of it theirselves. But we started savings account for each boy when they were born. So when they get money for xmas or birthdays or when they were born, we just deposit it in their banks. We also try to deposit money whenever we can. When they turn 18 they can choose to go to college or do whatever.
@soulist (2987)
• United States
8 Jan 07
Well I don't have kids yet, but when I do I'm opening a savings account for them and every time I can I'm going to put money into it for them for college. I would start looking at scholarships and grants they could get. That Upromise thing is good too (i'm gonna do that as well) so you can look into that. I paid for most of my tuition to the point where I am now 100 thousand dollars in debt now that I'm graduated. Make them get jobs and see the value of money.
• India
16 Dec 06
yes i am going to fund my children to college.i want the best for them.my parents funded me and i am going to do the same.i gave birth to them and it is my responsibility to see that they live happily and with pride they get everything they need to live.
• United States
15 Dec 06
I agree 100% with you that parents should not have to pay for their childrens college. I was brought up that way, if I wanted to go I would have to pay for it myself and I fully believe that. Just like you said, they can get student loans and work and earn money for their education themselves, I think it would make them appreciate where the money is going and strive to try better for a higher grade. A lot of people don't agree with this, but I completely think it should be up to the child to make it happen.
• Germany
13 Dec 06
I think parents should pay for the students. But at the same time they should lead them to stand up on their feet.e.g getting a scholarship. The parents should see the attitude of the child. if he is trying hard and not getting success then they should keep on paying. Otherwise they should try to influence their children to do so.