i need serious advise,,please help me someone!
By BORICUAMOM
@BORICUAMOM (55)
United States
July 13, 2007 9:27pm CST
I have big problem with my boyfriend,,well a few problems actually n some doubts that don't leave my head n it's driving me nuts. for 1 is that he does construction n i'm after him all the time so he leave cause he's with the dirty working clothes 24/7. He doesn't his clothing when he comes home right away n I have 2 b after him 2 do so,but he doesn't do it untill he feels like it. another thing is that he works n works n I don't c no money coming in the house n starting 2 wonder what he does with his money,,i'm starting 2 think that he's in drugs,,again,,he used 2 b on drugs 8 yrs ago n we broke up 4 a yr n a half n he had been clean t'll now n I want 2 think je still is. anyway all this bull cause me 2 break our engagement n canceeled all the wedding plans cause he's not doing anything 4 me or 4 us 4 that matter 2 make our lives better. and that is killing me. Seriously I'm thinking of leaving 2 florida with my best friend n make a new life 4 myself somewheres else! I cry every day cause I'm so stressed out depressed that's incredible!! n I love him I love him soooooooo much with life n soul but if he doesn't change then I have no choice but 2 leave.
3 people like this
12 responses
@rsa101 (37966)
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
Maybe leaving him is just a good decision for you to make for him to realize his mistakes. Hopefully your leaving him would make him do the right thing in life. don't lose hope on him. Changes can sometimes happen and maybe your life with him would be better. But if you decide to leave for good do it for his own sake.
@missigfunk (38)
• Australia
14 Jul 07
i agree with rsa101
it may hurt you both if you leave, but hopefully it will better both of your lives and then maybe one day you will meet again
@BORICUAMOM (55)
• United States
14 Jul 07
well u know it is going 2 hurt us both very dearly,,i know he does love me,but i have 2 do what i have 2 do if i want 2 better my life,,u know? i used 2 weight 115lbs n i'm short 4"11" n now i weight only 89lbs,,,my familt is been asking me what is wrong,but i don't tell my family my problems n not specially my daughters,,they would demolish him,they would beat the hell out him. that's y i don't tell them anything,,i tell them that i'm stressed out cause i'm not working right now!!!
@BORICUAMOM (55)
• United States
14 Jul 07
hi tuffy!
u r right,,i feel like my relationship is going no where,n u r right by me leaving it might make him realize what he's missing,,but u know what? it's going 2 b too late cause once i walk that door i'm not turning bk 4 anything,,it will b 4 good. i'm not dealing with this bull anymore,i'm already sick of my nerves as it is already,plus i have a heart condition n i'm not going 2 sit around n wait 2 get a heart attack on his account,,,i have my grandchikdren 2 watch grow up n have kids themselves.
i am going 2 leave,once i have the necessary money rhat i need i'm out of here.
@venshida (4836)
• United States
14 Jul 07
If he is not doing right and you are not happy, you might be better off being by yourself. I mean you can do bad by yourself why be with someone who is not going to add any value to the relationship. Sometimes the one we love is not always the right one for us. Maybe if you leave he will realize the good thing he has and put himself together.
@BORICUAMOM (55)
• United States
14 Jul 07
u r right,,maybe when i leave he'll put himself together,,but it will b too late...
u get what u look 4,, n this is what he's looking 4!!!
god bless
thanks 4 ur response
iris
@poobear12993 (167)
• United States
14 Jul 07
If you are unhappy then I would not stay. Sometimes love is not enough. I do not want to decide for you but you have your life ahead of you and it is not worth it to live unhappy. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.
1 person likes this
@LordxRayden (3)
• Brazil
14 Jul 07
U right poobear12993, she needs follow what u said. She canoot stay unhappy forever she needs to do something...
Maybe she can try go to florida, try something new
@eden32 (3973)
• United States
14 Jul 07
Is he or was he in a program (like NA) to support his sobriety? An addict is always an addict. If he's acting oddly suddenly, and not caring about one's appearence & not having money despite working long hours sounds odd to me- I'd assume he's using again. Encourage him to get involved in NA but be ready to get out if he doesn't choose to get help.
1 person likes this
@BORICUAMOM (55)
• United States
14 Jul 07
no he never was in a program,,he quit on his own (cold turkey) when i left him in dec of 199 n were separted for 2 yrs n when i saw that he realy was sober i went bk with him,,but this time ain't going 2 b no turning bk,,i'm staying away 4 good! thanks 4 ur response!
god bless
iris
@katied1985 (147)
•
14 Jul 07
i would seriously do something about this. if he wants to have you and a life give him an ultimatium tell him its either you or whatever he is hiding.
if he doesnt choose or wont answer then that is all you can do you have stayed with him and supported him for long time but now you must get on with your life or you will lose so many years and who knows if you stay with him there may not be a relationship to save.
@BORICUAMOM (55)
• United States
14 Jul 07
oh i will do something about it,seriously,,i'm leaving that's what i'm doing,,i have given him altimatium n it seems like it doesn't matter 2 him so i'm not saying anything else 2 him,,when he sees all my things packed n my friend here then he'll find out the altimium i took!! simple as that!!!
thanks 4 ur responsse!
god bless'
iris
@BORICUAMOM (55)
• United States
14 Jul 07
oh i don't intent 2 look bk,,i'm going 2 look forward n pray 4 the best. thanks!
@homecafe (24)
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
have you tried talking to him about these things?If talking to him will not work I guess its better to go on with your life and find somebody who will take cae of you and be happy!!Don't waste time trying to wait for him to change it might not happen!!Pray hard that these things will soon be over!!:)
@BORICUAMOM (55)
• United States
14 Jul 07
yes i have tried talking 2 him n he gets all pissed off n starts raising his voice at me,,so if he's not doing anything wrong y is he getting all pissed off about uunless he has guilt? don't u think? well i am leaving n make a new life somewheres else, but i'm getting someone else either,,i plan 2 stay alone 4 as long as it takes. oh my god i pray every single day,,god must b tired fo me by now,,lol!
@bonita_anonymous (92)
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
BORICUAMOM you see and feel things that bothers you a lot and I know you love him but you have to think what will happen in the future. Nobody can dectate you on what to do everything is your choice. In every choice you choose their is always a consequence. So better think and act now.
@punlonnjack (1308)
• United States
14 Jul 07
I m not much to talk my husband is having trouble with taking pain maedication. He only work once in awhile. I give him all my money. He does well paying the bills. but hes driving me crazy as well. I almost left him as well but I love him.. I guess my only advise is if you love him #1 IS COMMINICATION TALK TO HIM. you stated you love him dont give up on him that easy. Its really up to you how much you can handle at this point until you get answers from him.. Find out whats going on with him before making a impulsive decision you may regret later. The worst thing is to leave and not know why your leaving. You cant always go back....
@Ken_Smith (240)
•
14 Jul 07
i come round with big blunt stick and make him change for your love. i do this. i do this for my sister and he good husband now.
let me know
we talk
@LordxRayden (3)
• Brazil
14 Jul 07
Your boyfriend cant see the lucky he has... u should leave him now!! Make a new life mett other people. U need continue ur life
@BORICUAMOM (55)
• United States
14 Jul 07
well i spoke 2 my best friend in florida n she 2 let her know when i'm ready 2 lave that she'll come personally n pick me up. so wish me luck!
by the way thanks 4 ur response,,4 everyone's responses,u all have been very helpful!!!! may god bless u all!
iris
